Temerity Jane
17. 02. 2010

Internet, I’ve told you on numerous occasions that I consider myself to be a pretty average person. If I think something or want something or am interested in something, I am always quite certain I am not the first or last to think or want or be interested in that something. It’s just the way of things, you know? If I have seen a commercial that piqued my interest for whatever reason, some of yours must be piqued, too. I write this assuming you totally want to know all of this stuff. You have the length of this sentence to back out now if you DON’T want to know this stuff.

So, having seen the commercials for KY Yours & Mine, I was intrigued for two reasons. One, the test tubeyness of it looks sciencey, which appeals to my inner nerd. Two, the commercial seems to acknowledge the Pizza Theory of Sex, in that the dude is all “Hey, I’m a dude. Sex is good no matter what. But we got these science sex tubes, and now my lady is all FOGHORN.”

ky

Anyway, so it was Valentine’s Day, and I’d been away for two weeks, so of course, being a young couple who has been together for less than 2 years, it was obviously a Sex Night.

Reality:

“It’s Valentine’s Day.”

“I know. *sigh*”

“Are we going to have sex?”

“I dunno. Do you want to?”

“*sigh* I guess.”

Also, being the young, fun and adventurous types of people we are, we decided to try out something new – namely, KY Yours & Mine. Our burning desire for the new and different in all aspects of our lives knows no bounds!

Reality:

“So you want to try this new stuff?”

“*sigh* Why not?”

“All right… Twenty fucking dollars? Hot christ.”

“That’s… a lot.”

“Well, put back one of those boxes of condoms. They expire eventually, you know, and 24 is a bit optimistic.”

“They don’t expire for two years!”

“OPTIMISTIC!”

So, I cooked Phil the dinner he requested (that part’s actually true!) and eventually, when we couldn’t wait another minute, it was time to head to the bedroom to give KY Yours & Mine a test run.

Reality:

“*sigh* Are you ready?”

“*sigh* I guess.”

I’ve read a few reviews of KY Yours & Mine that complain that since the bottles are test tubily shaped, they don’t stand upright and lead to leaking. I don’t know if those were old reviews or if those people threw away the packaging, but the two test tubes came with a small test tube holder dealie inside the package, which we have successfully used to keep the bottles from not standing upright and leaking all over the dresser.

Now, with it being Valentine’s Day and all, we were able to integrate KY Yours & Mine seamlessly into our romantical activities.

Reality:

“Wait, turn the lights back on. Which one is yours and which one is mine?”

“Uh… I think… no wait, other way. Ok.”

“Ok. Lights?”

“Wait, wait. One second.”

“A towel? Seriously?”

“I JUST washed these sheets.”

“*sigh* Fine. But put it on YOUR side.”

“Ok. All set. NOW get the lights.”

As shown on the packaging, KY Yours & Mine has one blue tube and one purple tube. The blue tube is his and the purple tube is hers. I didn’t notice until last night, looking over at our dresser in the dark, the the words labeling the separate bottles actually glow in the dark. It’s subtle, but definitely would be helpful if you knew to look for it when fumbling around in the dark.

So, you know, things progress, as they do in these situations, until you arrive at the point where KY Yours & Mine comes into play. I don’t know if there are standardized lubricant application methods at play in the sexy time world here, but in general, we tend to stick to the solo application. KY Yours & Mine, however, relies on the dual application. One for yours and one for mine, you know? Your bottle does something specific for you, and my bottle does something specific for me, and they’re supposed to combine into like… Genital Voltron or something.  There was a moment of hesitation while the usual non-luber among us deal with his/her bottle, but otherwise, all was standard.

Reality:

“I can’t find my bottle.”

“It’s right there.”

“Are you sure that’s mine?”

“What difference does it make?”

“YOURS and MINE. YOURS AND MINE.”

“Yes, that’s yours.”

“Ok. Okaaaaay… ok. I’m good.”

The point of KY Yours & Mine is that each test tube of lube is designed to provide a certain feeling for him and a certain feeling for her. I have to say that upon initial application, neither of us noticed any kind of specific sensation. Things seemed pretty standard, actually, as things got moving in a sexy time direction. Nothing out of the ordinary from our usual Astroglide.

Reality:

“Do you feel anything different?”

“No, do you?”

“Not yet. I think we’re supposed to mix them. You know. With sex.”

“Ok… umm…”

“It’s too slippery!”

“*hysterical laughter*”

“*hysterical laughter*”

“*sniff* *sniff* Was that smell you?”

“I’m sorry! I was laughing!”

“Oh, god.”

Even though neither of us noticed any kind of independent sensation induced by the KY Yours & Mine (aside from the speedbump generated by two independent lubrication applications), I can definitely say that once we got into the whole Genital Voltron thing, a sensation was noticed. Yes, combining the “Yours” and the “Mine” portions of KY Yours & Mine definitely provides a sensation.

Reality:

“Ok, NOW do you feel anything?”

“Nothing different than normal… how about you?”

“Um… I think so…”

“You feel something different?”

“Yeah, it’s like… “

“Like what?”

“Hang on, I’m thinking.”

“Thinking?”

“OH MAN. IT FEELS LIKE ICY HOT.”

“*hysterical laughter*”

“Don’t laugh! IT FEELS LIKE I SAT IN SNOW!”

“*hysterical laughter*”

“STOP LAUGHING AT ME! IT’S COLD!”

Since KY Yours & Mine didn’t seem to provide any kind of unique sensation to each partner, I don’t know that it would really matter who got which tube, even though it is supposed to. And if you’re normally a solo lubrication application couple, I recommend making the necessary adjustments for a dual lubrication application to prevent… genital combination issues.

Other than that, though, I have to say that KY Yours & Mine did live up to what it said it would do.

For him, the man lube tube didn’t really cause any kind of independent sensation, and he didn’t really notice anything when they combined, either, but we might have to write that up to the use of condoms, of course (KY Yours & Mine is latex safe, FYI). However, the Pizza Theory of Sex, as shown in the commercials, does indeed hold true. It was sex, he’s a guy, that’s pretty much the recipe for no complaints.

For her, there was also no noted independent sensation from the purple lube tube, but there was definitely a sensation of sorts when they combined. As for the foghorn in the commercial… well, I could see that. Maybe. If the foghorn was intended to warn the USS Penis of potential icebergs in the Vaginama Canal.

Disclaimer: No one asked me to write this or paid me to write this or gave me any free $20 lube to write this. In fact, the manufacturers of KY Yours & Mine probably wish I didn’t write this. You probably are probably wishing the same thing.

66 responses to “KY Yours & Mine: A review, by TJ”

  1. Tchann says:

    I…am partially curious, partially terrified, and partially wanting to talk more about sex.

    Since I can’t really reconcile any of these emotions into a cohesive comment, I think I’m gonna go to lunch and write about demons.

    TJ Reply:

    I’ve TRIED it and I’m still partially curious and partially terrified.

  2. Diane says:

    The whole damn thing was worth it just to read “Vaginama Canal”.

    Tami Reply:

    I dunno, my favorite was the “Gentital Voltron”.

    Flame Reply:

    I loved Genital Voltron! hilarious!

    TJ Reply:

    You have no idea how long I tried to come up with some kind of nautical connection to vaginas.

  3. Katie says:

    I’d been wondering about this product. Thank you for the humorous write up.

    Question: Would you recommend this to anyone?

    Also, favorite part of the whole post:
    “They expire eventually, you know, and 24 is a bit optimistic.”

    “They don’t expire for two years!”

    “OPTIMISTIC!””

    Makes me laugh every time I read it.

    TJ Reply:

    “Question: Would you recommend this to anyone?”

    I want to say yes and no.

    The sensation is definitely… different. It’s novel. Some might find it truly uncomfortable. I’m going to stick with “novel” for now. I think I’d need to give it another shot to really know if I truly LIKE it or just tolerate it. Personally, I do NOT care for “warming” lubes, so this was a different twist on a lube that provides sensation without being the warming type.

    But also, there might be something else out there to provide just that sensation without the two tube application. And the bottles actually ARE kind of leaky, even standing upright. AND? $20! Sex is supposed to be the cheap activity that even dead broke couples get to participate in, you know?

    I think Valentine’s Day or an anniversary provides a good excuse for spending $20 on lube, especially if the couple is the type who can totally laugh it off during sex if it turns out to be ridiculous.

  4. Khronos says:

    We tried this stuff as well, with similarly amusing and cold results.

    TJ Reply:

    Did it scare y’all off or did you give it another chance at all?

    Khronos Reply:

    We tried it a couple more times, if only for the reason you mention below- TWENTY dang dollars!

  5. Awlbiste says:

    Honestly lube just kind of grosses me out. I’m not naturally a squeamish person but I just think it’s generally kind of icky. So uhhh, I don’t use it.

    TJ Reply:

    I can appreciate that. We could probably live without it as well, but I’m an extremely impatient person.

  6. This coming from an old “Fart” in my many years of marriage and sex and the whole add new stuff to the mix of things. I have yet to find anything that replaces just plain old take your time enjoy and not rush into anything and then definitely the “Fog Horn” will happen.

    TJ Reply:

    Trying new things doesn’t necessarily mean replacing old things.

  7. marty says:

    This was a fantastic read!

  8. Pablo says:

    Thanks for the review…we’ve wondered about that stuff too, as ‘traditional’ warming lubes are a no go at our house as well.

    TJ Reply:

    Since warming stuff is so popular, I have to assume SOMEONE likes it, though I really can’t imagine why.

    This is definitely the opposite. DEFINITELY.

    Pablo Reply:

    Interesting…I’m not sure how that would play either, but it may be worth some discussion.

    I don’t know why they don’t just make the stuff smell like strawberries or hot cinnamon rolls or something.

  9. shieldbreakr says:

    This is perhaps the best post I have read in forever. Wow, fantastic.

  10. Taxera says:

    wow this mad me laugh so hard thanks for that tj

  11. Kelly says:

    Thanks for the review! While I’m a fan of Icy Hot for my myriad aches and pains, I’m pretty sure I would NOT like it anywhere near my Vaginama Canal.

  12. Ambrosine says:

    /gigglesnorts, dies, forwards to boyfriend

  13. Julie says:

    Sending Michael to buy some tonight

    Ratshag Reply:

    “You buy! You buy! You buy! You buy! You buy! You buy! You buy! You buy!” were the actual instructions.

    I also have instructions to buy pizza.

    TJ Reply:

    I think I’ll send Phil for pizza!

  14. Adlib says:

    “I JUST washed these sheets.”

    “*sigh* Fine. But put it on YOUR side.”

    Ha ha ha! That was great, said so many times at our house. The rest was pretty great too. We have said product at home. His bottle is almost empty and mine is pretty much full. Why would you want to be COLD down there?! No thanks. I think “his” is warming, and he doesn’t seem to mind too much (obviously). They leak all over too, even in the box so that gets annoying.

    All the sighing made me laugh too. :)

  15. Delicia says:

    So funny! Actually we had been curious about this too, but not yet motivated to splurge on it. I’m not a fan of the warming stuff either, but I don’t think I want the March of the Penguins traipsing down that path either. Plus dual application seems like a lot of work.

    TJ Reply:

    Like I said above – the price is kind of ridiculous, so I would wait for an occasion (like Valentine’s) where it’s kind of justifiable, but not an occasion so HUGE that you’re like, COUNTING on liking it. Like, I wouldn’t use it for the first time on a wedding night or anything, you know?

  16. Jae says:

    Oh dear god, I haven’t laughed this hard in ages. Thank you TJ!

    “Maybe. If the foghorn was intended to warn the USS Penis of potential icebergs in the Vaginama Canal.”

    /snicker

  17. Melme says:

    Yeah. Me and the husband tried this stuff out and I didn’t like it. Giggling like idiots we applied it to each other and yeah… If you leave the purple one on long enough it starts to be icy all by itself. Not a sensation I found particularly pleasant. If anything, it acted almost like a numbing agent.

    But different strokes, eh? Some friends of ours LOVED it.

    TJ Reply:

    Different strokes, definitely. Lots of people like warmy stuff, but I can’t stand it.

    I need to maybe give Yours & Mine another try, and maybe we’ll try the two separate from each other. Because $20. I am HAVING $20 worth of sex with that stuff, come hell or numb genitals.

  18. Phaedra says:

    My husband and I are HUGE fans of the KY Warming Jelly (not the lube – the jelly). I don’t even know if they make it anymore.

    It’s awesome. And since it’s the jelly, not as messy as lube. And the warming isn’t like “OW OW OW HOT!”, it’s an additional sensation that accentuates, not dominates.

  19. Skraps says:

    Just curious as to the mm..er..umm..application? Does he use it on the inside of the condom? Wouldn’t that make it kinda…ummm…not stay where it is supposed to? and if used outside no wonder he feels nothing different. That is kinda what condoms are supposed to do, prevent exchange of fluids.

    Now I wonder as (warning tmi coming) person who has had a vasectomy and no longer has to use protection (married not crazy disease wanting person) would have different results.

    TJ Reply:

    The condoms most likely interfered, but I refer to the Pizza Theory of Sex – he really didn’t care too much.

    However, in regards to condoms/lube in general, yes you can put a little bit on the inside. If you put it near the tip, the condom will not slide so much as to be removed.

  20. Amy says:

    Thank you for this valuable public service announcement!!!! (and for making the rest of us feel better that not everyone has “bow chika bow bow” bedroom time…EVERY time) LOL

    TJ Reply:

    Ha! That is an excellent take away from this post, I think. It is indeed not always Super Romantical Excellent Movie Perfect Foghorn Sex every single time for anyone, I think. Sometimes you’re just getting the business done and rolling over to sleep!

    Adlib Reply:

    Word.

  21. Ale says:

    I am glad I stopped drinking soda because that really hurts when it come spurting out of your nose, unlike water which is just uncomfortable. Now that my keyboard is wet and needs to dry, I will take that as my cue to go home for the day.

  22. Rhonda says:

    So really what you’re saying is that when combined it feels like Tiger Balm down there?

    Why would anyone want that in that area?

  23. Pike says:

    Haha, love all the *sighs*.

  24. Angelya says:

    Genital Voltron… rofl

    Was really tempted to do some photoshopping, but.. I’m at work :P

    TJ Reply:

    I am not exactly sure if that’s something the world needs to see!

  25. Faith says:

    Me and The Hubby have used it… with similar results. Not a big fan, but hey… I spent money on it, so damn, we WILL use it (sometime within the next 20 years!)
    I, however, am cheap… I only bought it on sale ($15) and with a $5 coupon… so I was only out $10 on the whole deal.

  26. Paula says:

    Hilarious post!

  27. Shawndra says:

    About a year or go or so hubby and I tried that stuff, once. I thought we had very cleverly hidden them in the drawer of the filing cabinet I use as a nightstand. No such luck. The next day the empty tubes were on my bed, the box ripped apart.

    My now three year old was very slippery.

  28. Iain says:

    I dunno what made me want to link this. I think it was the whole. “Sex? Yes, I guess.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU

    …not coz of the 2 minutes part, I swear!

  29. Pj says:

    “we got these science sex tubes, and now my lady is all FOGHORN”

    That was the best part until …

    GENITAL VOLTRON

    Well, at least now I know my and my lady won’t be wasting $20 on this stuff.

  30. Kusamoto says:

    My eyes…EYES! CANNOT UNSEE…CANNOT UNREAD…gllaaarggllll!

    (“STOP LAUGHING AT ME! IT’S COLD!” was awesomesauce, though…think we’ll me passing on the KY Hers and His…Yours and Mine…Yous’es and Mees…whatever. Yet another helpful safety tip from TJ; the world would be a much more dangerous, and frightfully dull, place without her.)

  31. Zoei says:

    Alright. I REALLY have to stop coming by here as my last stop before winding down for the day. You, lady, are a hoot and a half, and will keep me giggling long after the time that I’m supposed to be all mellow and relaxed and sleepy… DAMN you’re good :)

  32. Panther says:

    LOL! This post had me laughing so much there were tears in my eyes.

    The boyfriend and I were curious about all these KY new things and decided to try KY Intense last year. To make a long story short it went something like this:

    Him: “Pour more of that on my finger”
    Me: “Are you kidding me!? It was 17 effing dollars! Besides the box says only a drop”
    “… Babe? It’s supposed to go on my clit…”
    Him: “Oh…”
    ~A few minutes later~
    Him: “Feel anything?”
    Me: “No… oh… OH… Now it feels tingly…. Ah! It burns! GETITOFF!!!”

    Suffice it to say we had a laugh about it later, the bottle is still in my ‘party favors’ drawer and your post reminded us of this.

    Thanks TJ XD

  33. Sarah says:

    Although me and my SO don’t “qualify” for the Yours and Mine lube, I was kinda curious about whether or not it worked and what it did. Thank you for satisfying my curiosity and giving me and the entire internet a long, side aching, much needed laugh. /salute

  34. Chaninn says:

    Tried that and wasn’t impressed. He got nothing special from it and I found it distracting (& yes, cold).
    I do recommend a different product though:
    http://ww2.pureromance.com/PublicStore/product/X-Scream,283,1.aspx
    It’s not recommended for those who are already hyper sensitive but for everyone else, whooo buddy!

    Adlib Reply:

    I’ve heard about Pure Romance on the radio. Have you been to one of the parties? I’m more curious than anything. I’ll check that link out when I get home for sure. :)

    Chaninn Reply:

    Yes, the parties are a ton of fun and you get to see and test (not actually use, testers only lol) the products firsthand instead of just seeing them in the package like in a store.

  35. HokieJayBee says:

    I have to partially disagree on how well it worked. It must have been amazing. It seems to have flustered TJ, and affected her writing ability.

    Disclaimer: No one asked me to write this or paid me to write this or gave me any free $20 lube to write this. In fact, the manufacturers of KY Yours & Mine probably wish I didn’t write this. You probably are probably wishing the same thing.

    “probably are probably”? Phil and KY Yours and Mine got her all writing flabbergasted!

  36. maerdred says:

    Laugh induced farts are the worst!

  37. Willow says:

    My boss is looking at me funny for laughing this hard at work.

  38. P T says:

    I’ve never tried lubes before or any other sex paraphernalia before! But now I want to…KY Yours & Mine…lol

  39. Osethme says:

    I never tried the Yours & Mine…could be interesting, but I like different sensations.

    And similar to the Pure Romance product, Passion Parties has a product called Pure Satisfaction Unisex Enhancement Gel. I was skeptical (and I used to sell the stuff!), but DAMN it works!

    Not everyone likes the sensation (it is sort of tingly and warm), but if it works for you, it really does work. I haven’t gotten my guy to try it yet, though, and it’s supposed to work for them too.

  40. Alex says:

    Good stuff, TJ. Hilarious.

  41. V says:

    It’s good to know that I am not the only one that didn’t like this stuff…I thought something was wrong with me. All it did for me and my fiance was reinforce the fact that our love making was just fine…even great!

  42. Stephanie says:

    Been reading your posts for a couple weeks, but just saw this one in your anniversary review. I’ve really enjoyed your writing style, but this was just flippin’ hilarious–i still have tears coming down from laughing so hard!

  43. […] I figure writing about sleep paralysis will finally knock “KY Yours & Mine review” out of the top spot for search results. Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with […]

  44. yosa says:

    I own and have recently used ky yours + mine and it seems I’ve gotten it all over the place haha. I was wondering.. are there any particular health hazards to avoid? The box doesn’t say much about it and I know very little about chemistry. So suppose we finish and grab an after sex ciggarette.. or go to eat something right after? Should I be worried about the lubey mess?

  45. Kitsune says:

    BEST REVIEW I’VE EVER READ!!!!! In between laughing hysterically and remembering I was reading a review for the lube, the review was fantastic and realistic of all things.
    My sincerest thanks!!!(: