Internet, I’ve told you on numerous occasions that I consider myself to be a pretty average person. If I think something or want something or am interested in something, I am always quite certain I am not the first or last to think or want or be interested in that something. It’s just the way of things, you know? If I have seen a commercial that piqued my interest for whatever reason, some of yours must be piqued, too. I write this assuming you totally want to know all of this stuff. You have the length of this sentence to back out now if you DON’T want to know this stuff.
So, having seen the commercials for KY Yours & Mine, I was intrigued for two reasons. One, the test tubeyness of it looks sciencey, which appeals to my inner nerd. Two, the commercial seems to acknowledge the Pizza Theory of Sex, in that the dude is all “Hey, I’m a dude. Sex is good no matter what. But we got these science sex tubes, and now my lady is all FOGHORN.”
Anyway, so it was Valentine’s Day, and I’d been away for two weeks, so of course, being a young couple who has been together for less than 2 years, it was obviously a Sex Night.
“It’s Valentine’s Day.”
“I know. *sigh*”
“Are we going to have sex?”
“I dunno. Do you want to?”
“*sigh* I guess.”
Also, being the young, fun and adventurous types of people we are, we decided to try out something new – namely, KY Yours & Mine. Our burning desire for the new and different in all aspects of our lives knows no bounds!
“So you want to try this new stuff?”
“*sigh* Why not?”
“All right… Twenty fucking dollars? Hot christ.”
“That’s… a lot.”
“Well, put back one of those boxes of condoms. They expire eventually, you know, and 24 is a bit optimistic.”
“They don’t expire for two years!”
So, I cooked Phil the dinner he requested (that part’s actually true!) and eventually, when we couldn’t wait another minute, it was time to head to the bedroom to give KY Yours & Mine a test run.
“*sigh* Are you ready?”
“*sigh* I guess.”
I’ve read a few reviews of KY Yours & Mine that complain that since the bottles are test tubily shaped, they don’t stand upright and lead to leaking. I don’t know if those were old reviews or if those people threw away the packaging, but the two test tubes came with a small test tube holder dealie inside the package, which we have successfully used to keep the bottles from not standing upright and leaking all over the dresser.
Now, with it being Valentine’s Day and all, we were able to integrate KY Yours & Mine seamlessly into our romantical activities.
“Wait, turn the lights back on. Which one is yours and which one is mine?”
“Uh… I think… no wait, other way. Ok.”
“Wait, wait. One second.”
“A towel? Seriously?”
“I JUST washed these sheets.”
“*sigh* Fine. But put it on YOUR side.”
“Ok. All set. NOW get the lights.”
As shown on the packaging, KY Yours & Mine has one blue tube and one purple tube. The blue tube is his and the purple tube is hers. I didn’t notice until last night, looking over at our dresser in the dark, the the words labeling the separate bottles actually glow in the dark. It’s subtle, but definitely would be helpful if you knew to look for it when fumbling around in the dark.
So, you know, things progress, as they do in these situations, until you arrive at the point where KY Yours & Mine comes into play. I don’t know if there are standardized lubricant application methods at play in the sexy time world here, but in general, we tend to stick to the solo application. KY Yours & Mine, however, relies on the dual application. One for yours and one for mine, you know? Your bottle does something specific for you, and my bottle does something specific for me, and they’re supposed to combine into like… Genital Voltron or something. There was a moment of hesitation while the usual non-luber among us deal with his/her bottle, but otherwise, all was standard.
“I can’t find my bottle.”
“It’s right there.”
“Are you sure that’s mine?”
“What difference does it make?”
“YOURS and MINE. YOURS AND MINE.”
“Yes, that’s yours.”
“Ok. Okaaaaay… ok. I’m good.”
The point of KY Yours & Mine is that each test tube of lube is designed to provide a certain feeling for him and a certain feeling for her. I have to say that upon initial application, neither of us noticed any kind of specific sensation. Things seemed pretty standard, actually, as things got moving in a sexy time direction. Nothing out of the ordinary from our usual Astroglide.
“Do you feel anything different?”
“No, do you?”
“Not yet. I think we’re supposed to mix them. You know. With sex.”
“It’s too slippery!”
“*sniff* *sniff* Was that smell you?”
“I’m sorry! I was laughing!”
Even though neither of us noticed any kind of independent sensation induced by the KY Yours & Mine (aside from the speedbump generated by two independent lubrication applications), I can definitely say that once we got into the whole Genital Voltron thing, a sensation was noticed. Yes, combining the “Yours” and the “Mine” portions of KY Yours & Mine definitely provides a sensation.
“Ok, NOW do you feel anything?”
“Nothing different than normal… how about you?”
“Um… I think so…”
“You feel something different?”
“Yeah, it’s like… “
“Hang on, I’m thinking.”
“OH MAN. IT FEELS LIKE ICY HOT.”
“Don’t laugh! IT FEELS LIKE I SAT IN SNOW!”
“STOP LAUGHING AT ME! IT’S COLD!”
Since KY Yours & Mine didn’t seem to provide any kind of unique sensation to each partner, I don’t know that it would really matter who got which tube, even though it is supposed to. And if you’re normally a solo lubrication application couple, I recommend making the necessary adjustments for a dual lubrication application to prevent… genital combination issues.
Other than that, though, I have to say that KY Yours & Mine did live up to what it said it would do.
For him, the man lube tube didn’t really cause any kind of independent sensation, and he didn’t really notice anything when they combined, either, but we might have to write that up to the use of condoms, of course (KY Yours & Mine is latex safe, FYI). However, the Pizza Theory of Sex, as shown in the commercials, does indeed hold true. It was sex, he’s a guy, that’s pretty much the recipe for no complaints.
For her, there was also no noted independent sensation from the purple lube tube, but there was definitely a sensation of sorts when they combined. As for the foghorn in the commercial… well, I could see that. Maybe. If the foghorn was intended to warn the USS Penis of potential icebergs in the Vaginama Canal.
Disclaimer: No one asked me to write this or paid me to write this or gave me any free $20 lube to write this. In fact, the manufacturers of KY Yours & Mine probably wish I didn’t write this. You probably are probably wishing the same thing.