Temerity Jane
02. 01. 2012

I needed to make sure 2011 was well and truly over, with no more tricks up its sleeve, before I crawled out of my bunker deep beneath the covers of my bed to post this year end wrap up, jacked many times by many people over the years from Sundry.

Here’s mine from last year.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Last year, my survey was basically entirely focused on getting married and being pregnant, so obviously this year will be the year of Penelope. That’s pretty much a spoiler alert for this whole thing, so you can probably stop reading now and not miss anything.

Anyway, I had a baby.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn’t really have any other than to have a baby and keep my shit together. I did have the baby, and while I didn’t entirely keep my shit together the whole time, I did have it nicely lined up by December 31, which I am counting.

Also? You guys? I never watched all the Colin Firth movies in existence. I tried to watch Mama Mia and that basically ended the entire attempt. Because, wow. Terrible.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Well, me. My cousin, also, just about 6 weeks before me. And my uncle and his girlfriend had another, bringing my grand total of cousins on my dad’s side to one billion.

4. Did anyone close to you die?


5. What countries did you visit?

Stealing last year’s answer, as I intend to do for the foreseeable future.

None. You can also retroactively write that down as my year end wrap up answer for every year since 1981, though it isn’t really fair to count 1981, since I was born in December of that year and didn’t even have my birth certificate issued until early 1982, let alone a passport.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

A dog that doesn’t eat trash (not food trash – PAPER).

A dog that doesn’t escape over the fence on the regular.

Time to watch Naruto.

I don’t know, I want the same things as everyone, I guess. More time, more money, more sleep.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I’d have to look up the exact dates, but every single bad news OB appointment, in complete, minute detail.

April 29, when Penny was born. April 30th, when Penny was taken to the NICU. Every single day between then and May 8th, when we brought her home. August 10th, when Penny was admitted to Children’s. Every single day between then and when we brought her home on August 15th.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Three months of bed rest, you guys.

You think calling laying in bed for three months an achievement is ridiculous?

Well, I think you have a funny haircut.

9. What was your biggest failure?

June through September.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Yes. YES. Last year I joked that pregnancy, so far, felt like an illness or an injury. A few weeks later, that’s basically what it turned into. I spent months working with doctors (okay, they worked, I laid) on the balance between keeping the baby in as long as possible and also, at the same time, making sure I didn’t die from it. I don’t know if I effectively communicated my feelings on the matter at the time, but that was PRETTY DAMN AWFUL.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Penny’s jumperoo was a gift, but still. Hands down the best piece of baby equipment we own.

Also, Benefit’s High Brow.

I shared some bacon chocolate with Sarah Lena in Austin, and while it was pretty not so good, it can stand in as a purchase representing the trip to Austin.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Penny. Bills. Penny. A trip to Pennsylvania for Christmas. More Penny. Diapers.

13. What did you get really excited about?

Not being pregnant anymore.

I’ve had a pretty down year in terms of excitement and anticipation.

14. What song will always remind you of 2010?

Penny really loves Cee-lo’s Fuck You.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? I think it averages out to about the same.
– thinner or fatter? Well, thinner, because I’m not pregnant. But I’m at my pre-pregnancy weight, yet at the same time, fatter. So. Up yours, pregnancy.
– richer or poorer? Poorer.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Sleeping when the baby sleeps. Cutting myself a break in those early weeks, when I thought I was supposed to be done sleeping when the baby sleeps by the time she was 5 weeks old.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Holing up in the house for the months after Penny was born. Stressing out about things that weren’t going to happen. Travelling back and forth to hospitals. Sleeping in hospitals. Anything involving doctors and hospitals.

18. How did you spend Christmas?

In Pennsylvania with my side of the family. It was a long day. Penny was a great traveler, though. Really very impressive.

19. What was your favorite TV program?

The things I always watch got kind of shitty this year. I’m not impressed with House, I don’t like SVU without Stabler. The Big Bang Theory is still good. Phil and I watch a lot of Mythbusters and all those pawn shows and storage unit stuff.

I did watch all of Grey’s Anatomy this year, having never seen a single episode before, and I really enjoyed it.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

Let’s see. According to Goodreads, my top favorites were probably Before I Go to Sleep, Graceling, and The Daughter of Smoke and Bone.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

Nothing, really. I listened to a lot of Reel Big Fish, because in my mind it’s still 1998.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

Exact same answer as last year:

I am pretty sure the only one we saw was Harry Potter, and it was awesome, as always.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I got my eyebrows done and I cooked some spectacular meatloaf, exactly like I wanted. I turned 30.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I don’t like this question. SKIP.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?


26. What kept you sane?

Naps, again this year. Prescription medication. Starting to drive again and getting out of the house without AND with Penny.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

Honest to God, sometimes it IS that bad, and you do what you’ve got to do.

9 responses to “Let’s talk about how 2011 was the worst thing ever.”

  1. Wow, thank goodness Penny is so freaking cute. Because seeing your year condensed like this? You DESERVE some cute. And some medals. And a lifetime supply of something awesome. And a ginormous cash prize.

    I hope 2012 treats you SO MUCH better!

  2. Linnea says:

    While I knew all that stuff happened, I didn’t realize that all the crap happened this year. Last year, whatever. I think I divided the year into crapbefore Penny & crap after Penny rather than 2011-the year that can die in a fire.

    Man, I hope 2012 brings you more rainbows and unicorns and stuff.

  3. sandi says:

    Interesting – I ran across this website by accident, and I read your posts and have a different perspective than the other two. Your 2011 was pretty good – the few blessings in there balanced the other sh*t out; your insight and willingness to be vulnerable is encouraging/inspiring. Although you are a stranger, my response is: I LIKE her! Hope she keeps up this blog.

    happy BRAND-NEW year!

  4. Brooke says:

    “Stretchy” <3

    2011 can suck a big fat one. I honestly don't think I know anyone that liked it. It's going to be listed as "the year everyone hated" in the dictionary (are years in the dictionary?). I hope 2012 is better for us all.

  5. Marion says:

    Oh my gosh you were gone foreverrrrrrrr. It’s a good thing I creep your twitter, because otherwise, oh my gosssshhh. Where else am I supposed to get my awkward, witty baby comments with slight undertones of barely veiled sarcasm? Or, well, blatant sarcasm. Oh my goshhhhhh.

    That being said, boo 2011. Yay, 2012!

  6. jodifur says:

    You know, I don’t know anyone who had a good 2011. I mean, you had an adorable daughter, and that is good, but for most people, including me, 2011 just sucked.

  7. Nancy P says:

    Your answer to #27 pretty much sums it up.

  8. Marie Green says:

    I thought that you handled yourself very admirably this year, so much so that I had no idea that it was such a rough year. Specifically the butt rust portion… you had such humor and grace.

    I love reading these year-end posts, so much.

  9. Alex says:

    High five for getting through it all, TJ. You won Battle 2011.