Temerity Jane
17. 10. 2011

Number one: Don’t forget to enter to win a two pack of FuzziBunz cloth diapers from Sweet Pea in a Pod. Unless you don’t have kids in diapers, or don’t know anyone who has kids in diapers, or hate cloth diapers, or hate entering contests, or don’t enter contests because you never win anything and just don’t see the point of subjecting yourself to the crushing disappointment anymore. Then I guess if you didn’t enter, you didn’t forget. You just don’t want to. And that’s okay. But for the other people. This is a reminder. To not forget to enter. You have until… let’s say… Tuesday at midnight. I’ll pick a winner on Wednesday.

Number two: This is my new favorite thing right now:

I’m usually the drug store make up type, but I went and got my eyebrows done at Ulta the other day and they were running a special – free eyebrow arch with the purchase of $50 in Benefit products, which was THE MOST FRUSTRATING promotion EVER. I had two items I really loved, this eyebrow pencil thingie included. They totaled $48, and there was nothing else I especially wanted enough to pay Benefit prices when a $7 lip gloss is more my standard speed. So my choices were to pick only one of the two things I really loved (the other was this blush) and pay for the eyebrow wax for a total of $48, or add another item on, and of COURSE there are no $2 filler items, so I’d get the eyebrow wax for free, but would end up paying for $75 worth of make up and IS THAT A SAVINGS? NO.

Yeah, so, anyway, anticlimactic ending, I bought this eyeshadow in Leggy.

BUT THAT EYEBROW CRAYON THING. You guys. First of all, my eyebrows look nice for the first time in my entire life. They look so nice, in fact, that I can ignore the bright red spot of waxed-off flesh next to my right eyebrow. Second of all, this pencil-crayon thing is some kind of MIRACLE STICK. I am, in general, a rather grouchy-looking person, even in my best moods, but this stick thinger makes my eyes look open and somewhat PLEASED TO BE PRESENT. Internet, I can talk myself out of just about any purchase, especially luxury items for myself, especially ESPECIALLY luxury items for myself that I can convince myself aren’t that great, and I BOUGHT THIS even though it cost more than a DIAPER. Because it is that good.

Number three: I have now watched 115 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. I expect to be caught up to the current season before I leave for The Blathering (VERY SOON!). The Blathering will be a nice temporary distraction, but the downside of marathoning several seasons of television will eventually come to call, and I will be bereft and lonely for a while.

Number four: I got my hair cut. I don’t like it, but it’s not a bad haircut. I don’t really know how to explain it. It doesn’t look bad at all. It looks kind of nice. It’s appropriate for my age and for my hair-grabbing child. It’s not especially hard to style and it’s pretty flexible if I don’t have the time to do it. I just… don’t really care for it. It doesn’t look how I FEEL. Maybe it’s that it looks rather grown up and I don’t feel like much of an adult most days. I think it looks like mom hair, but not in the way that mom jeans look like MOM jeans. It is not tragically unhip. I just find my head unappealing, but realize at the same time that no one else would blink at it. It’s like buying a shirt that you hate, but that you know looks good on you. Except you can’t just take it off like a shirt because it’s your head.

Number five: It’s a long and involved story that includes many different circumstances, but I haven’t been driving at all for a long while, and just recently started driving Phil’s car around. At my own suggestion. Which doesn’t sound like a thing, but again – long, involved, circumstances, etc. It’s a thing. I started by driving to the mailbox. Then I took Phil to and from work. Then I went to the BX on base and I bought a lightweight stroller for Penny. It had no front wheels and I had to get a different one, but I’m still considering it a largely successful errand. Then this weekend I drove off base, and then I did it again. Today, I am running both an errand on base AND taking PENNY to Target.

Target is basically in the same place I went yesterday, and it’s a straight shot from the base, and I don’t think I can get on the highway or go anywhere else at all yet, because the highway is still terrifying even when Phil is driving, and I still go in the back gate of the base rather than the front, closer to our house, just to avoid making a left turn. But I can go to the commissary, I can go to the BX, I can go to Target, and I can go through a drive through for iced coffee. So, basically, I am a free lady again, and it kind of rules.

Number six: I am very tempted to go back to Ulta and pick up some more Benefit stuff – Erase Paste, specifically. Or maybe an eyebrow pencil for my new fancy eyebrows that are kind of a little bit bald in some spots. Or maybe a really good foundation. I’ve never had a really good foundation. I thought about getting a lipstick, but I always end up getting the same color, because I can’t wear red and I can’t wear nude. I also think I’ve been using the same tube of mascara for a criminally long time. Basically, since I have been driving the car all on my own, I have been rewarding myself with prizes. I have been rewarding myself with prizes, and yesterday, I returned $95 worth of clothes and only spent $40 (on two identical pairs of shoes in different colors), so I basically have $55 of PRETEND MONEY.


So, Internet, if you were me – and you can watch the video below to put yourself in the right awkward, weirdly animated state of mind – what kind of prize would you buy yourself at Ulta? OR TARGET. I also like to shop at Target.

23 responses to “Eyebrows, television friends, someone else’s hair, and THE BEST KIND OF MONEY.”

  1. Amy K says:

    Congrats on driving again. FREEDOM! If I had pretend money to spend at ULTA, I’d probably get either Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer or Benefit High Beam.

  2. Linnea says:

    ooooh! I love Erase Paste. I’m also a fan of the Stay, Don’t Stray concealer/eyeshadow base stuff.

    And you are right, that pencil is a miracle worker. I tried to talk myself out of getting one by swearing that I could find a cheap eyeliner somewhere else in the same color, but I was wrong, and caved, and bought it, and now, mornings can be faced without looking like I want to eat the souls of babies for breakfast.

    When I get prizes for me, I always get more eyeshadow than any human needs, and convince myself that THIS color, even though I have 3 at home almost just like it, THIS color is THE ONE and thus worth it. I’m usually wrong though.

  3. Stephanie M says:

    I saw those shoes on twitter…you got those for only $40?!? Brand/where’d you buy them, etc?! (would it be weird if I bought the same shoes as you? I promise not to wear them to The Blathering if I do.)

  4. Delicia says:

    I am make-up stupid, evidenced by the fact that I moved into our house in November, and my makeup is still packed SOMEWHERE in a box in our garage, and I have made token efforts to find it but not really because it irritates my skin and I don’t know how to put it on without looking like a little girl playing dressup with her mommy’s makeup.

    Any chance you’d be willing to do a before/after pic of your eyebrows with that eyebrow crayon? I can’t even picture how you’d use that, I am THAT makeup stupid.

    That is AWESOME on the driving. I don’t know the long, involved circumstances, but it sounds like something you are slowly conquering so I applaud that!

  5. Susan says:

    First off, I am NOT a makeup person. At all. I came of age in the seventies and I still have that anti-makeup thing. But that eyebrow miracle pencil? Might be just the ticket. My eyebrows are always straight and grouchy.

    At Target? Hmmm. That’s a tough one. I can spend $100 at Target without even thinking about it. But the last thing I bought for MYSELF was a 3/4 sleeve navy cardigan that I love because I can wear my sleeveless summer tops with it and it spans the seasons and is perfect for those over-air-conditioned restaurants. And it hides my upper arms (yeah). I’ve already gotten my money’s worth out of it.

  6. Lindsay says:

    I love (and am trying to justify spending the $29 for the full-size) benefit the Porefessional. It’s some kind of pore minimizing thing, but it actually WORKS…it’s kind of like a concealer too, so I use it just on my nose and right next to my nose then use my foundation. I love it and will probably get a big tube the next time I get an Ulta coupon. Also, their eyebrow waxers rock, I love getting mine done there!

  7. Swistle says:

    “PLEASED TO BE PRESENT” made me rush right down to the comment form so I could exclaim over how much I love it. Now I will go read more post.

    Also, I want to see photos of (1) the eyebrows (2) the hair.

  8. mandapanda78 says:

    I am a total idiot when it comes to makeup. I don’t think I’ve ever successfully applied makeup to myself. I now own two drug store eyeshadow thingies and that’s it.

  9. Sarah Lena says:


    I swear by the Benefit Creaseless Eye Shadow/Liner. It’s my go-to almost daily (I use RSVP as a shimmery nude, but it’s NOT glittery) and I HIGHLY recommend it.

    Also, Erase Paste is good stuff. As is their BeneTint Tinted Moisturizer. I don’t do foundation (I have crazy dry skin and it always looks heavy on me), so I’m kind of a tinted moisturizer efficienado. Which I slaughtered the spelling of.

  10. Andrea says:

    I’m also a make up idiot and my sister being a Mary Kay lady really is what saves me. When I reward myself – it’s all about nail polish. OPI nail polish. O could almos open a salon with the color options I have.

    Congrats on your return to driving – definitely have earned that reward!

  11. Erica says:

    I did the exact same thing last Thursday! I recommend the They’re Real mascara. I love it so far. Also, the Brow Zings brow kit is also awesome.

    I have the Benetint lip stain and it is the best lip color ever. Seriously. Plus it’s a stain, so there’s no replying, etc. I just slap it on and use my Burt’s Bees chapstick throughout the day like normal.

    I don’t have the Erase Paste, but I tried in a make-over once and loved it. If you have The Dark Circles, I’d definitely get that, too.

    Is it weird that I can’t wait to see your eyebrows on Friday?

  12. Ale says:

    I love Ulta and usually try to time my trips there with one of my Mom’s visits as she picks up the tab then. (I realize I am 38 but this is quality time and she is always trying to buy me things and I would rather it be something of my choosing than something awful I am not interested in. So she drops a chunk of $$ and doesn’t consider buying me anything for at least a month or so)

    I really like the Too Faced eyeshadow kits, both the Naked and the Natural.

  13. Alex says:

    I don’t know what Ulta is but it sounds pretty wicked. And these comments are making me want to learn how to makeup-ify myself. I’m particularly interested in the idea of a lip stain. I’ve long been saying I should get into lipstick.

    If I had Pretend Money I would probably spend it on some sort of food or seasonal “impulse buy” item (ie. a jack ‘o lantern printed pie plate or orange and black plaid plastic cup).

  14. I wish I could be brave like you and just go for it and hope the super cuts (b/c I’m a cheep O and that is probably where I’d go, I think it is actually called Cuts By Us) and get my hair cut. It has been forever since I had a hair cut, (I MADE my mom cut it.. just straight across, I told her to pretend it was wrapping paper.. over a Christmas visit, yep it’s been a while!). Actually the last time I got it cut by a licensed hair dresser was in the basement of their home, spent most of my life getting one basement hair do or another. Branched out in college letting friends cut my hair, but I refuse to go and allow a stranger to F it up! I’d rather know the person so I can’t be really mad at them! Sounds really dumb, but that is how I feel!
    I have never been to Ultra, seen the adds in the Sunday paper, but never been. We must have one or there wouldn’t be adds right?? I usually get my ‘beauty’ products at Walmart or CVS. How do you plan to spend your extra ‘pretend’ money? Target I saw has $15.00 sweaters on sale this week, just saying!!! you could probably get some nail polish to match.. YIPPIE!!!

  15. LemonFresh says:

    Oh man, expensive beauty products. A friend of mine started getting into Arbonne a while back and had a party at her house. I wound up spending $220 – and I am a poor student! Well, I wasn’t in school at the time. But I was very glad of their return policy because I had to return about $100 worth of it, because I was ALLERGIC to it, even though they don’t add artificial perfumes and whatnot! That was rather miserable.

    But! Oh, how I love Arbonne’s shampoo and conditioner. Those were two of the things I bought and they lasted me a year and it was lovely. And now I just can’t bring myself to spend $55 to get some more. Although I’ve probably spend at least that much going through “organic” and “natural” brands trying to find ones I’m not allergic to and actually like. *sigh*

  16. Josefina says:

    Well, I’m not sure if you want someone who looks like that eagle from the Muppets telling you what beautifying products to buy, but I will give an opinion anyway. I really don’t use makeup anymore, but recently I heard that lilac eyeshadow is the most universally flattering color, so I got some and indeed, it does flatter. So, if you wanted more colors to play with (and I love the color you chose, by the way), a subtle lilac might be nice. I love to get nail stuff from Ulta, and Butter London’s Wallis shade is something I’ve really been enjoying lately. Yummy Mummy also seems like a very nice color to have. Also, I love to buy lip gloss because it’s more forgiving than lipstick, so there is less likelihood of buyer’s remorse.

    At Target, clothes are a good choice. I’m not trying to say that your clothes suck (I actually have no idea what your clothes look like), it’s just that Target usually has lots of pretty things.

    I agree with Swistle: I’d like to see a photo of your new hair and eyebrows.

    Finally, I’m happy to hear about the driving. Way to go!

  17. Lippy says:

    I second the eyeshadow primer. I use to make fun of that stuff, but then got a sample and it is awesome. I have super greasy eyelids or something and that primer keeps the eyeshadow on all day. The Too Faced eyeshadows are also good. I need more information about this eyebrow pencil thingamajig. I am 40 and have never, plucked, tweezed, waxed, threaded or otherwise shaped my brows. I pretend they aren’t there, so I am fascinated with this subject.

  18. Sarah says:

    I LIVE by Benefit’s “realness of concealness” mini-kit, that has a little thing of hi-beam, concealer, lip plum, and lemon-aid for dark circles/lids. I also really love their…crap I can’t remember the name right now, but it’s a pink, shimmery blush that smells like watermelons. But really I pretty much love anything Benefit, I think their powder products (either eyeshadow or blush) are super silky feeling.

    I didn’t know you could get your eyebrows waxed at Ulta! Huh. Learn something new every day.

    Also, Congrats on your driving success! I finally got my license this year and having the freedom to drive around without depending on someone else’s schedule is wonderful. So hooray for you! /internet high-fives

  19. Mia says:

    TJ, check out MakeupAlley it’s a website that has 1000’s of makeup reviews. I can get lost on that site for hours. Just reading reviews and making a wish list of everything I want to go out and buy!
    Good job on the driving. I totally get it. I’ve had to work very hard at that too and it sucks. Behind the wheel trauma is a bitch.

  20. Amy says:

    All this eyebrow talk caused me to use my existing eyebrow pencil this morning instead of just the basic minimum 10 min makeup routine. Yeah, I think I need to add it back in everyday, cause holy hell I forgot how invisible my eyebrows are. I look good with eyebrows. So thanks reminding me!

    Fun money at Target? I’d totally impulse to my heart’s content, so at this exact moment that would probably be new underwear or cute storage containers. Cause I’m a container freak! But tomorrow would be totally different.

  21. Christen says:

    High Brow is excellent stuff! If you’re looking to stay loyal to Benefit, I’ve always had good luck with their mascaras and cheek products (blushes and highlighters and bronzers). Dallas was a favorite: an outdoor glow for an indoor gal. That’s me!

    Target is my weakness. Haven’t been too impressed with the clothes lately, but some nice autumn decorations if you’re into that sort of thing.

  22. Wendi says:

    Another vote for Erase Paste here — it is fantastic! I also have the Realness of Concealness mini-kit (almost everything is gone now but it did last a long time!) and it’s a good deal. :)

  23. Bre says:

    Products that I love at Ulta:
    Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer
    Benefit Badgirl Lash Mascara
    Benefit Booing Concealer

    Have fun!