Temerity Jane
10. 09. 2009

A day or so ago, I described the combination of nicotine withdrawl, insomnia, freakish dreams, family proximity, Chantix, stress and wedding planning as a perfect storm of shit that has descended on me.

However, it has also been kind of funny.

Apparently, sometime in the middle of the night, I was forum posting:

One of my favorite hobbies is to sit around and dream up all the things I would do if I won a skrillionaire lottery.

Bec, should that ever happen to me, I am going to hire you on to sit around and come up with ideas.  Just ideas. And you’ll have your own office, and I’ll come in in the late mornings with some coffee and be like “So, Bec. Tell me some ideas.” And you’ll just say all your ideas to be and I’ll be like “Wow, so glad I hired you.” Then we’d hire someone else to put your ideas into action. And then we’d stand on my expansive deck watching your ideas in action. Like a pudding slip and slide with sexy men doing the sliding. But that’s just one of MY ideas, which is why I’d need to hire you, because that’s not even a good idea, because no matter how sexy a man is, I don’t want his dangle in my pudding, you know? Waste of pudding.

Full benefits package.

10 responses to “Chantix + Insomnia + Stress = ?”

  1. If I won the lottery…. Oh what would I do?

    I would buy Italy and Hawaii. Then I would, this could take a while, I better not bore you with all of the things I would do.

  2. Rusty says:

    “Full benefits package”

    Is that a benefit plan or the name of the dangle pudding slide?

  3. Melanie says:

    Umm, is it just me or is there a nerdfigher easter egg in the author bio page of Hannah Friedman’s book EVERYTHING SUCKS. If not whatever bc i loved the book so much i dont care if shes not but if she is its even more amazing!!

  4. Gnarf says:

    All the stress will be gone soon, keep with it.

  5. Eckyman says:

    I’m glad it’s not just me that has freaky dreams when quitting the smokes!

  6. Bernie says:

    Didn’t have Chantrix in my day, I used Wellbutrin. Worked well for me. good luck with the quitting.

  7. Moonesonet says:

    Combine that with lack of sleep because of a new infant and you have the ultimate torture.

    They had a pudding slip and slide at bike night on Tuesday. But they didn’t have hawte guys only the bar wenches going down the slide. I was thinking it was a waste of pudding also. That and god forbid they used chocolate pudding. Having a new infant the only thing I could think of was god that’s gross it looks like there sliding in poo.

  8. E says:

    Hilarious! Hire me to make the ideas spring to life. I will have the title, “Implementer” and will LOVE my job of making insane things reality. :-) I can provide references should they be necessary.

  9. Aboo says:

    @Moonesonet – That is NOT a waste of pudding. Guys will eat anything. Especially off the body of a hawt bar-wench.

    Makes me want to go buy some milk… a looooot of milk.

  10. Phil says:

    Now if you could get dancing cows to dance on the pudding, we could have our meat AND our pudding!

    That might taste awful though.