Desert baby bested by grass, mother unmoved, unhip, big hipped.

November 4th, 2012 | by TJ |

Let’s all just agree now that we won’t expect much from each other on the weekends.

Mine involved a lot of spitting (Penelope), a lot of “I don’t want to touch you,” (me, to various family members – some covered with wet food, some covered in stinky fur), and a lot of sighs of various tones (Phil – there were two trips to Target and an unfruitful hunt for a red cardigan that I think he knew that I¬†knew was going to be unfruitful from the start. I did know. Sighs accepted.)

Oh, and we also went to dinner with The West Coast Aunts!

I would say that you could look forward to meeting the West Coast Aunts at PJs at TJ’s, but if you’ll look to your right, you’ll notice that registration is closed. I don’t really have anything more to say about that. I went into this paragraph thinking I was going to offer some consoling words, or say something about a wait list or whatever, but eh, if you were going to register, you would have done it by now.

Tomorrow, I have big plans – BIG PLANS. I’ve got to mail out some diapers I sold – did I tell you I’ve been selling my diapers? It took a while. When the first one sold, I had to lay down on the floor for a minute. Then I laughed and counted the $48 it sold for. I auctioned one yesterday, one that wasn’t even brand new and unworn like that first one, for $45.

It’s been getting easier.

After that, Pen and I will stop at JoAnn Fabrics for supplies for my much hipper hobby of counted cross stitch. My sister and I have begun collaborating on our own somewhat inappropriate patterns that will be available for purchase around probably never, or Christmas, depending on how action packed my month long trip to Pennsylvania is.

In other news, I’ve been participating in the Biggest Blogging Loser competition, and between that and a little work I’ve done on my own before it, I’ve lost 20 lbs, bringing me down to weighing… well, 20 lbs less than my prepregnancy weight and wearing one size larger than my prepregnancy size, and looking exactly zero percent different than I did three weeks after I had the baby, because I have giant boobs and a c-section pooch.

But hey, it’s about the health, right? I mean, twenty pounds! That’s something! I can be proud of that! So what if none of my old clothes fit! So what if I actually have to buy all new, BIGGER things to fit my twenty pounds lighter self! It’s not about APPEARANCE. It’s about — oh, go fuck yourself, me.

(There’s a video in this post. You don’t see it if you’re reading this in Google Reader. I’m not saying you have to click through, or even that it’s worth a click through. I’m just saying that I want credit for more content than you’re actually seeing. I want you to mentally tally up more content points for me than you would give me if I hadn’t made this note. Thanks.)

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11 Responses to “Desert baby bested by grass, mother unmoved, unhip, big hipped.”

  1. By Megan @ Mama Bub on Nov 4, 2012

    That’s a real pisser, the weight loss thing. I lost some weight and had to buy exactly zero new clothes. I mean, WHAT THE HELL?

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  2. By H on Nov 4, 2012

    Does everyone (who has a c-section) get a c-section pooch? I did too, and mine won’t go away no matter what I weigh – and I’m serious about that. Also, my youngest is 21 YEARS old. I don’t understand.

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    Erin Reply:

    Dammit to hell, that is NOT encouraging, H. I was hoping that mine would disappear eventually.

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    H Reply:

    I should probably confess that I don’t do (and never have done) a LOT of ab work but I have done some light to moderate ab exercises consistently over the years. My BMI right now is 19 but it was mostly around 23-26 and the pooch? The pooch shrinks a little with weight loss but NEVER goes away. I hate it.

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  3. By squandra on Nov 4, 2012

    The not-looking-different thing is always a bummer, but still, very awesome! Go you.

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  4. By Tamara on Nov 4, 2012

    Ok. I’m only posting this because a lot of people have never heard of diastisis recti, and they maybe have it and maybe that is the cause of their pooch. I’f you have heard of it, forgive me. Also, I dont have dr but I had a fat pocket right over my scar that is slowly smoothing out, VERY. SLOWLY.

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  5. By cakeburnette on Nov 5, 2012

    It would appear that not only is the content of the blog hilarious, but now with added hilarity in the photo watermarks. You rock.

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  6. By Erin on Nov 5, 2012

    Congrats on the weight loss! Whether or not you look different, that is impressive!

    Also, I was REALLY hoping that at the end of that video, Sheldon would knock Penny down and the whole cycle would start up again. (I’m terrible, I know.)

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  7. By Alex on Nov 5, 2012

    That an impressive amount of weight lost! So weird about the clothes-fitting issues… that was mean of the Tummy Gods.

    Love the video.

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  8. By Jez on Nov 6, 2012

    The hip hobby of cross stitch is one we share :D not that I’m doing much lately between caring for an 8 week old & the new WoW xpac…

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  9. By Andrea on Nov 6, 2012

    Regarding inappropriate cross-stitch – check out steotch.etsy.com for some amazing patterns. I have used their “double rainbow” meme pattern and I have my eye on an Americana/Paula Deen sampler featuring the words “butter, y’all” for my next project.

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