State of the Hut, Week 27, Part 2
February 21st, 2011 | by TJ |Are you keeping track of all of this? Admit it, I could write a title, like “State of the Hut, Month 85, Volume Purple” and you wouldn’t notice, am I right?
Not that I expect you to keep track. I feel like it is part of my duties, as both a blog writer and pregnant lady, to keep you updated on the actual passing of time, pregnancy-wise. I mean, you have enough to do every day, right?
Anyway, if you’ll recall, which you don’t have to, since I am telling you, today we went for an ultrasound and to visit with a high risk doctor, to check to see if there were any risks of preterm labor. You can re-familiarize yourself with the concept of Drop the Baby Out vs. Take the Baby Out bed rest if you’d like. I have one (Take the Baby) and we were ensuring there was no chance of adding on the other (Drop the Baby).
So we went and we had our ultrasound and then a consult with the doctor, and I have never been so confused as to what mood to take on based upon medical news. I mean, we largely got “Hooray!” kind of news, but there was a fair amount of “Oh, shit, really?” jammed in there as well. If you’re short on time, you can skip ahead to the red text below, because Internet, I am always thinking about you and your needs.
Important to note right now, because I can’t think of where else in this entry I’m going to put it, this doctor had an absolutely fabulous mustache. I mean, it was just great. It’s the kind of mustache that immediately makes you like someone. A cross between standard walrus and handlebar. Like, it was in a casual state today, but it could easily be waxed up for more formal occasions.
So all this news we got, imagine it coming out from beneath this spectacular mustache. It really just adds to the “how do I feel about all this?” confusion, but I feel it’s an important detail.
So first of all: Structural Integrity of the Hut.
I know I said I don’t want my cervix discussed over the phone, but this isn’t the phone, it’s the Internet, and you guys, this is the one time in my life I will get to say this: He said it is THE LENGTH OF TEXAS!
And again, imagine that from beneath a glorious mustache.
I swear, one of the high points of this pregnancy.
As you might imagine, that’s good news. Everything is locked up tight, and there is no added risk in the way of Drop the Baby Out syndromes, which is nothing but good news.
There’s plenty of baby juice in there as well, and I credit that entirely to one of my main partners in bed rest, the Camelbak:
Seriously, this thing has increased my water intake by about one skrillion times. It doesn’t taste like a bottle when you drink from it, and the bite straw thing prevents virtually all drooling and spilling, both of which I am subject to entirely too often. A lot of times, even though I am drinking 100 oz or more of water a day, I feel about a half a step ahead of dehydration, so this thing goes with me everywhere now.
Everywhere basically being the living room and the doctor, but still.
Also, Garlic Bread’s fetus encasement system also looks good, but I am really not comfortable discussing what amounts to be a disposable organ. It just gives me the heebies.
And as for the Bread herself!
For pretty much the entire second trimester, Garlic Bread was measuring wee – not too wee, but wee – which could be a concern. She wasn’t small enough for anyone to be concerned yet, but given that pre-eclampsia can cause growth restriction, on top of the fact that she will be arriving on the scene earlier than most babies, makes keeping track of her growth an important step in this cooking process.
Well, apparently she has been making up time since the last time we got a peek, because she is now no longer in the low 20s percentile and lagging a bit, but is instead in the 61st percentile for growth and actually measuring a little more the a week ahead, which is nothing but good news, obviously.
(Again, you guys – mustache.)
Everything the doctor had to say about the baby was followed up with “excellent.” Her size – excellent. All her organs and stuff – excellent. Hut decor choices – just excellent. And tasteful.
And then on to the lesser characters – Me!
I think the best way to sum up what the high risk doctor had to say about me was that he didn’t seem especially alarmed, but he wasn’t overly optimistic or cheerful or “Good news, everyone!” about my health.
He thinks it’s good that I’m not currently on any medications, and he thinks that while my blood pressure isn’t great, it could be worse, and that bed rest seems to be working out.
He’s in agreement with my regular OB that hitting 28 weeks (Wednesday!) is an excellent milestone, and cited a 90% survival rate and 90% lack of any long term problems in babies born at 28 weeks.
I mentioned I was aiming for 37, of course, and he was kind of “ehhh…” He mentioned 32 as being a great milestone, and seemed very doubtful that we would make it to 36 (he shaved a week off my goal, even!). He didn’t go so far as to say it wouldn’t happen, he even mentioned that he’d seen women in my condition go to 38, but I assume he was drawing on his & his mustache’s experience and general averages to be so noncommittal about 36 weeks.
That was a bit of a shock, of course. Like I explained at the onset of the Butt Rust, while my OB had said he was comfortable with anything after 28, I wasn’t really thinking in those terms, but more along the lines of 37 as being what would happen. I don’t know if I was trying to mentally add some certainty to the situation for my own peace of mind or what, but I feel a little less secure now that I’ve been reminded that it REALLY COULD be any time. Like, truly. Any time.
ANY TIME.
OH MY GOD.
I put on my best casual tone and asked, “What do you think the chances are of me being released from bed rest this week?”
And the doctor just shook his head and his stache very slowly at me.
I mentioned that I had been told that maybe I would get to run small errands after 28 weeks.
“… Maybe,” he said, but the mustache remained doubtful.
I said that the OB had also suggested that maybe after 28 weeks I could “sit in the sun” for a little while.
“Maybe!” he said, and the stache nodded along, so that seemed a little more promising.
Remember when I was so sure that the Butt Rust was going to end that I decided to buy concert tickets? Well, I didn’t tell you, Internet, but my good sense took over and I didn’t buy them, even though I really wanted them and was really sure I’d be off bed rest to use them.
Well, the other day, Phil heard about a contest on the radio to win tickets to the show, so he decided to try, because then we wouldn’t be out the money if I ended up not being able to go, and he DID win them!
Also? On the same day, we took advantage of a trade in event at Babies R Us – Phil bought a $5 stroller on Craigslist and turned it in for a 25% off coupon, which he used on our car seat/stroller, saving a ridiculous amount of money (because everything at BRU is just priced off the wall, but the specific system we wanted was ONLY CARRIED by BRU which MADE ME INSANE), and on top of THAT? Our cable bill was scheduled to increase, as they do, and Phil once again negotiated to keep the price low AND got 6 months of HBO and Showtime free. He hasn’t seen a significant price increase in cable in EIGHT YEARS, because he is that good.
I’m designing a family crest, and I need someone to translate “NEVER PAY FULL PRICE” to Latin for me, so I can put it on the ribbon thing that goes across the bottoms of crests. You know what I mean.
Also, while I’m talking about Phil’s Big Successes, he built this as well:
The Bread’s Dresser/Changing table.
It took him all day, and it is the IKEA Birkeland and we PROMISE TO MOVE IT AWAY FROM THE WINDOW AND PROPERLY SECURE ALL CORDS TO THE BLINDS.
So basically, this was the Weekend of Phil.
Anyway, like I was saying. So he won the concert tickets! I don’t actually know if I said that part. He also got me a t-shirt AND posed with a bottle of soda doing a thumbs up, but I can’t find it on the radio station page. Rest assured, when I do, I will show you, in the grand tradition of Phil thumbs.
We had figured that maybe if I got released to modified bed rest, I could go, because it was going to be an acoustic show (not the Reel Big Fish one, a different one) and all calm and stuff and I didn’t really see any risk of the baby being emo’d into distress (10th Anniversary of Swiss Army Romance Tour, y’all! And I can say “y’all” because did I tell you, my cervix is as LONG AS TEXAS?”), but Dr. Stache (I’ve decided to combine them into a single entity for ease of reference, but you understand by now that they – the doctor and the stache – are two equally important parts of a whole) was like, “Yeah, no. Are you new to pregnancy?”
He didn’t say that, but I felt it was implied, and you know what, YES I AM.
I had thought I had been seeing my OB a lot lately, what with the weekly appointments, but Dr. Stache is going to be recommending to him that we add what he referred to as “testing” onto my Butt Rust routine. Best as I can tell, in addition to my OB appointments, I will also need to go in for what I think he called a biophysical scan (to check how the umbillical cord is working, which he says is an indicator of baby happiness) and a non-stress test (where we listen to her for a while, sounding like Secretariat) on the regular.
I think he said that I would need to do each of them every week, or maybe each of them every other week and alternate, and I hope it’s that one, because that is a hell of a lot of appointments, but two tests and an OB appointment every week when I can’t drive myself anywhere right now is kind of putting a crimp in Phil’s plans to maintain gainful employment (though his boss has been MORE than understanding so far, it just stresses me out that he has to cram all his work into smaller time frames).
And he also noted that I will probably see him and his glorious achievement in facial hair again in a few weeks, to check in on the growth process of the Garlic Bread.
So, TO SUM UP, (I bolded that part in case anyone got word-fatigued and needed to scramble for the end), the Hut is structurally sound, the Garlic Bread herself is making achievements in growth and… whatever else they do in there, and I’m not shaking this case of Butt Rust any time soon.
Oh ALSO? For the first time in the history of this pregnancy, the Bread deigned to remove her face from where she normally keeps it jammed into her encasement wall and we got our first ever profile shot.
The tech was also able to get a never before seen full on frontal face shot, and you guys, I know you’re only supposed to say “Oh, she looked beautiful” and stuff like that, but it was an ultrasound, so she mostly just looked gray and blobby… however. I am not kidding when I tell you this. If she looked anything other than gray and blobby, it was angry. I am serious. She looks angry.
Adorable and standard baby-ultrasound-profile-esque from the side.
Rage from the front.
So. Let’s all just keep on hoping she hangs out in there a good while longer, both for her health and also because, frankly? I’m kind of intimidated right now.
And what the hell. In celebration of 2/3 excellent news, here’s Garlic Bread’s Hut (Now with Foundation Certification!)
First person to suggest my mirror needs to be cleaned is banned for 100 years and 4 days.
First person to get the “100 years and 4 days” extremely obscure reference is invited here to clean my mirror and watch 3rd Rock from the Sun with me.
By Swistle on Feb 21, 2011
Favorite parts:
1. “if you’ll recall, which you don’t have to, since I am telling you”
2. “I have one (Take the Baby) and we were ensuring there was no chance of adding on the other (Drop the Baby).”
3. “Like, it was in a casual state today, but it could easily be waxed up for more formal occasions.”
4. “Hut decor choices – just excellent. And tasteful.”
5. “but I assume he was drawing on his & his mustache’s experience and general averages”
6. ““… Maybe,” he said, but the mustache remained doubtful.”
7. (Let’s just save time here by saying “everything else about the mustache, too.”)
8. “I don’t actually know if I said that part.”
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 5:19 pm
I think I’ve figured out why I so enjoy your “favorite parts” comments. I think it makes me feel like it’s okay for me to laugh at my own jokes.
Or maybe it’s like I imagine how people who really enjoy cooking and baking and stuff feel, like they’re really excited and pleased to see someone enjoy what they made.
But probably the laughing at my own jokes thing. I am exactly the kind of nerd who does that.
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By Kelly on Feb 21, 2011
According to one of those many translation sites that exist on the Internets (not Google, surprisingly), the translation of “Never pay full price” would be “Nunquam persolvo plenus pretium.” Since that’s not something I ever remember them saying in church, I can’t actually verify the accuracy of the translation. If I find a Friar around here who knows Latin, though, I’ll be sure to ask. Because they wear those funky robes and sandals, they tend to hide out in their friary building in the winter.
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 5:20 pm
I have a feeling the Catholic Church does not often find itself very concerned with sale shopping.
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Kelly Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 7:29 pm
LOL Oh, definitely not.
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By Miss Grace on Feb 21, 2011
I’m glad your baby is gestating and whatnot, ye of the Texas Cervix.
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Band name?
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Miss Grace Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 9:14 am
I’m thinking death metal.
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By Stephanie on Feb 21, 2011
Yay for mostly good news! I loved this post. You seem cheerier. Must have been the Stache.
(Also, I wanted to say this last week, but from a perinatologist/maternal fetal medicine perspective, 32 weeks is an EXCELLENT goal. Really great for Garlic Bread and not quite as daunting for you. Then, once you get there, you can set your sights on 36! Or 37. And I’m not trying to scare you or sound cocky or do anything other than offer support…sorry if it comes off that way. You are doing great!)
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 5:33 pm
I think the mustache really did lift our spirits. It was the first thing we talked about in the car.
As for 32 weeks, I know rationally and medically and all that it’s good, it’s just that… IT’S FOUR WEEKS AWAY OH MAN.
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Steph Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 6:14 pm
Yeah, I thought about that part too. But I knew that YOU already knew that and therefore didn’t want to say it out loud. Because then it’s real. Not BEFORE then. Only if you say it out loud.
(I’ll just say that *I* personally, whom you care nothing about–which is fine!!, will breathe a giant sigh of relief for GB when you reach 32 weeks. Just medically. And just personally. And then I will take another breath and keep holding it every day past that, hoping, willing you to get to 36 and beyond.)
But yeah. 4 weeks is soon. You’ve done so awesome at butt rust so far! Keep it up. So glad to hear she had a growth spurt too. That must have been a boost to the spirit as well.
Also, my husband grew a Stache (yes, with a capital S) on his last deployment. They all do it when they are deployed and, well, he is quite hairy. As in, he shaves every morning, per regs, and by noon people ask him if he’s shaved that day. He just has a perpetual 5:00 shadow. His best friend (who, quite contrastedly–not a word, I know–has alopecia) says that my husband can just think “hmm, I would like a goatee today” and clench his jaw and pop one out. It’s not far from the truth. Also he has very dark, black hair. All that to say! That his Stache was INCREDIBLE while he was deployed. I’m talking I would see him on Skype for the first time in weeks and literally jump back in a double take. I mean I really think mustaches are kind of gross, personally, but admittedly, this was a FINE specimen. Several times I actually asked him if he dyed it. It was so INKY black and thick and just ew-slash-wow. So basically just saying I can understand how impressive mustaches can be.
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By drhoctor2 on Feb 21, 2011
Yes!! to the good news…being hopeful for the rest of it.
“There’s plenty of baby juice in there as well, and I credit that entirely to one of my main partners in bed rest, the Camelbak:” I can only see the other partner in bed rest, our man on the scene, Sheldon…
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Sometimes I am pretty sure that you are Sheldon’s biggest fan!
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By Cort (Modern Super Momma) on Feb 21, 2011
I had a similar experience getting OB news from a ‘stache – but it was on a female midwife. Much less allure.
Loved the post – hang in there!
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 5:34 pm
HAAAAA. Either way, mesmerizing, right?
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By Delicia on Feb 21, 2011
I must say the high risk doctor deserves accolades for growing the amazing ‘stache.. because it sounds like JUST the thing to have to project competence and macho baby doctorism.
Maybe Phil could sneak in a handycam to the concert and record it for you? If he’s caught he could TOTALLY play the “my wife is pregnant and on bedrest and she is the most hardcore fan EVER do you WANT her to go into early labor by forcing her to come here instead??” card and I think they’d definately be sympathetic and maybe throw in some band swag.
ps. you look great, love the baby bump!
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Unfortunately, this is not a concert Phil wanted to go to at all. So, you know, points to him for getting the tickets and all, and fully intending to go with me, but without me, he has zeeeeero interest.
Lame!
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By Jess on Feb 21, 2011
1) I have a friend who had some minor complications in her pregnancy, no bed rest but concern about small baby plus a two-vessel cord plus potential lack of amniotic fluid, etc. etc., and she had to do the NST and the biophysical profile every week. NST on Mondays and biophysical profile on Thursdays. But hopefully in your case since the concerns are a bit different, you will get the every other week treatment instead.
2) I could tell from the ultrasounds that Callum looked like Torsten, albeit a gray and blobby version of Torsten, and he TOTALLY DOES. Seriously. So maybe you will give birth to a very angry Bread. But hopefully not for a few more weeks at the very least.
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Becky Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Maybe she’s angry about missing the concert, and will be over it and happy by the time she arrives!
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 6:45 pm
You know what’s funny, that’s pretty much the EXACT SCHEDULE he proposed! One test on Mondays, one test on Thursdays. I think I am going to be a VERY busy lady.
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By Becky on Feb 21, 2011
When we saw the frontal face shot we thought it looked like an alien. My friend said they called that one the “Terminator shot,” because you could see the lens of one eye reflecting, and it (hers and ours) totally looked like the Terminator. I think Garlic Bread is probably at least as kick ass as the Terminator. If not more.
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 6:45 pm
Ours has the eyes deep in shadow, barely visible. You can see the nose and a VERY INTENSE FROWN.
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By Mel on Feb 21, 2011
I would have laughed the whole time at the mustache.
Happy to hear your mostly excellent update.
Ps. The front shots always freaked me out. We called our first son ‘pinky’, since he was usually holding his pinky up in most shots.
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 6:46 pm
The mustache was totally awe-inspiring rather than hilarious like it otherwise might have been. It had some kind of mustache mystique.
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By Dawn on Feb 21, 2011
My OB also has the ”Stache of Competence’ going on so I totally get you. Though I’m taller than he is so the effect is more like a wee Jewish Santa Claus….
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 6:48 pm
HAaaaaa! It just goes to show that an impressive mustache makes up for many things.
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By Mugician13 on Feb 21, 2011
Congratulations on the latest State of the Hut news. Much better than our current State of the Union, but this is neither the time nor place for that discussion.
Also: “Never Pay Full Price” in the best Latin I can come up with is, “Totum Precium Numquam Soluturos.” You’re welcome.
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 7:38 pm
The Hut does possess a certain stability that may be lacking in other areas of our collective lives.
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By Wulfa on Feb 21, 2011
Ha ha, everything is better in Texas. I keep saying it and no one here in New Mexico believes me. And you look awesome!
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Thank you!
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By Melissa on Feb 21, 2011
Loved this post. I’ll just say “ditto” to all Swistle’s favorite parts.
Glad you got mostly good news today! You definitely were due for a good appointment.
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 7:56 pm
The weird thing is, I don’t know if it was really any better or worse than any other one, but for some reason, I took this one really well.
Probably the mustache.
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By Bryan on Feb 21, 2011
Google Translate has it as “Totum precium soluturus”
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By Michelle on Feb 21, 2011
Ok I am a lurker and keep waffling about posting but then don’t because well I don’t really know.
Anyway, glad to hear that the state of the hut is in such good shape. I just wanted to offer my similar experience along with the good wishes that you situation turns out as well.
I too had the high blood pressure at 24 weeks with my first pregnancy and my OB freaked the fuck out. But the results from my jug o’ pee test looked okish. And the baby was growing super well. So I didn’t have to go on bed rest right away but I did win weekly blood pressure and urine checks in the office. Whee! And then at week 28ish, twice a week nonstress tests. I spent a lot of time in my OBs office is what I am saying.
I was really really hoping for 37 weeks and my OB was like um…yeah, maybe we’ll see. I think I had to repeat the jug o pee test and blood work several more times and my OB kept saying it was just a matter of time before I got very sick and she had to take the baby.
WELL…I made it all the way to 36 weeks before a repeat ultrasound showed the placenta looked a little road weary if you will and my OB announced that I would be induced that night. Everything turned out fine..baby had apgars of 9 and was screaming his little head off when he came out.
Here’s hoping that you and Garlic Bread show the high risk dr and his fab mustache up and make it to 37..er, I guess 36 is the new goal.
Bummer about the concert! :(
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 8:00 pm
He didn’t say 37 was impossible, so I will hold on to that! Obviously your story is an encouragement, as 36 is not so bad, either!
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Michelle Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 9:16 pm
Technically I was 36 weeks and 3 days.
Ok, then fingers crossed for 37 weeks.
And for what its worth? My OB was completely conservative with my 2nd (and last) pregnancy. Monthly growth checks, blood work, more non-stress tests and bed rest. She said there was no way that she was letting me go past 38 weeks. Until the high risk doc at my 36 week ultrasound said the baby looked great, continue bed rest and do the repeat c-section at 39 weeks. I was on bed rest for 5 weeks because of blood pressure and the concerns on the baby’s growth. Said baby? Weighed 10 freaking pounds at 39 weeks.
Moral of the story? Sometimes docs freak the hell out (rightly so) and are wrong about how far you will go. Here’s hoping.
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By Noemi on Feb 21, 2011
Every time I’ve seen my fetus in a full-frontal view, it looks like Skeletor, so I think “angry” is a pretty good look for a fetus.
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 8:01 pm
I don’t have a scanner and a picture of the picture isn’t working, but it seems as though her lips are formed in a very intense frown.
At least, I HOPE they are formed that way and she doesn’t already know how to frown like that.
Because, damn!
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By Life of a Doctor's Wife on Feb 21, 2011
1. The mustache introductory paragraph is one of my favorite pieces of writing EVER.
2. My bathroom mirror looks the same as yours! It’s “decorated”!
3. Congrats on GB’s progress! That is really terrific news.
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TJ Reply:
February 21st, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Thank you very much!
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By Pinkie Bling on Feb 21, 2011
So much to love about this post and its comments!
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By Laura on Feb 21, 2011
Here is my best Latin for “Never pay full price”:
“Totum precium numquam pendite”
(You could use penditote as a future imperative, but it was uncommon even in classical Latin. Finally! All that Latin is good for something in the real world!)
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By -R- on Feb 22, 2011
Great job, hut! Way to grow a baby! It sounds like you are doing relatively well, and I’m glad you get to see Dr. Stache again. Something to look forward to!
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By Alex on Feb 22, 2011
Woo for mostly good news! And congrats on the wicked cervix… it sounds very impressive.
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