That’s right. A Canadians-only giveaway. It’s like spotting a pink elephant or a rude Canadian. EXTREMELY RARE.
Today, Internet, I am basically trying to distract you from the fact that I haven’t finished the Cosmo post even though I totally said I would. Doesn’t it suck that the things I say aren’t a binding contract at all, and I can lie to you up one day and down the next about what I plan on writing, and then when I don’t write it, there’s nothing you can do except click the red X in an indignant manner, which I DON’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT WHEN YOU DO, so your frustration just goes on unabated?
But I think it’s OKAY, because I am going to distract you with ITEMS! For you to have!
Recently, I bought a mystery package, kind of like the ones Delight.com used to do, where you pay a certain amount and are sent a bag of products worth at least that amount. And I got a ton of awesome stuff, that I am really happy with and will be telling you all about soon.
But I also got some things that I cannot use, and rather have them sit around, I’ve decided to just give them to you.
So we’re clear – I got these items in a package I paid for. These are my thingies. I wasn’t given them by the companies themselves. The companies gave them to ANOTHER company, who bundled many things together, and I bought that bundle. These things belong to me, and I am giving them to you, and I am not a middle person. This is the same as if I gave you, like… Sheldon. Mine to give away. Would you like Sheldon?
The first two giveaways are open to Canadians only. Well, you don’t necessarily have to be a Canadian, but it would make more sense if you were. They are two $10 gift certificates to Canadian companies, and the shipping to the US is quite prohibitive. So. I’d prefer non-Canadians not enter, because I just don’t feel it’s especially likely for a non-Canadian to actually use them, and they can just as easily sit around unused in my house, you know?
Gift Certificate 1!
Gift Certificate 1 is a $10 gift certificate to Spoiled Sugar. This store has tons of adorable stuff for babies and moms, and most of it is made at home by moms. A bonus, if you ask me. They have cute onesies and butt ruffle bloomers, but when I looked through the site, I was really into the wipes cases. Phil told me that a wipes case is not an appropriate thing to ask for as a gift for my 30th birthday or out first wedding anniversary, so I take that to mean he’s going to just buy me one to have. So, I pass this gift certificate on to one of you. One of you Canadians. You don’t have to buy a wipes case with it, though.
Gift Certificate 2!
I was really tempted to use this one for myself despite the shipping, but it just doesn’t make sense for me. Gift certificate 2 is $10 off at Pink Dot Design, where they make custom photo cards, invitations, announcements and some other cute stuff. I thought about getting a custom print for Penny’s bedroom door that said “Pennysylvania,” because I made that joke in a post the other day and haven’t stopped complimenting myself on my own brilliance. But then a lizard was spotted in the room and I want to move.
I also thought about ordering Penny’s 1st birthday party invitations, but this gift certificate expires March 1, 2012 and I know me well enough to know that there’s no way in hell I’ll have the details ironed out by then.
So! Are you Canadian and having a baby that you need to announce? Or are you Canadian and planning a party? Or are you Canadian with an upcoming wedding for which you would like to encourage others to save the date? If you are any of these, or any other of a large NUMBER of combinations of Canadian plus in need of some sort of photo card, this is the giveaway for you!
Update: So… I just looked at both of those sites and it looks like they’ve both either recently changed their shipping to the US prices or I’ve had a recent small shipping-price-specific stroke. So, I guess shipping prices are the same to both countries now? But I assume the prices are in Canadian money? GOD I HAVE NO IDEA. This is why I never accept giveaway offers from other companies. Let me just mess it up with my own shit. Let’s just leave these at Canadians only and let them sort it out, okay?
Giveaway 3 is from a Canadian company, but available for non-Canadians! Via me!
One White HipKiddo One Size Pocket Diaper
picture via HipKiddo
This is a brand new pocket diaper, unsullied by butts. It’s a one size diaper, which means it should fit most babies from about 8-10 lbs til potty training. Most babies. The 3×3 rise snaps let you adjust how “tall” the diaper is, and this particular diaper as cross over snaps at the waist that allow you to get a snug fit on skinny babies – something the major diaper companies haven’t picked up on yet and as Amalah mentioned the other day – THEY SO SHOULD.
This is what I’d call… an entry level pocket. It’s a well-constructed, perfectly functional diaper, similar to Kawaii, Alvababy and Sunbaby pockets. It’s not fancy and it comes with one microfiber insert to stuff in the pocket. You know, a lot of people build their whole diaper stashes out of these inexpensive pockets and they get a lot of love from a lot of experienced cloth diapering moms. I own a couple of similar pockets and I really like them quite a bit.
I don’t even know why I’m calling it “entry level.” It’s not. It’s a pocket diaper, and it’s perfectly usable and well-loved by MANY people. It’s just not one of the “big brands” and doesn’t have a “big brand” price tag. Most of the diapers I use these days are not “big brands” either. This is a great diaper. Ignore that “entry level” part. This is a standard pocket and you will like it.
While anyone and everyone is free to enter to win this diaper, can I suggest that if you’re already cloth diapering, that you let this one pass by? This is a good opportunity for someone who is pregnant and considering cloth diapers to get their hands on one and check it out, to see what it’s all about. Or for someone new to cloth diapers who is just starting to build their stash. OR, maybe you cloth diaper and you KNOW someone who is pregnant and considering it. It would be a cute baby shower gift, I think. Having diapers in hand before Penny was born made me more comfortable with the whole thing – time to really get a feel for it all, you know?
Whatever! If you win it, YOU can wear it for all I care. I was just suggesting that maybe you don’t enter this one if you don’t really have a need for it. But maybe you need a rain hat. Whatev. No judging.
So. Those are the three giveaways. Canadian, Canadian, people who have, are about to have, or know someone who is going to have a baby.
I don’t know a whole lot of Canadians, so if you are a Canadian, maybe you can get on Canada-net and let other Canadians know that I have prizes. For Canadians.
If you’d like to enter any of the giveaways, check out the sites and just declare your Canadian or non-Canadian status and list the giveaways you’d like to enter. Just one comment, please. You don’t need to tweet or Facebook or do a goddamned Entry-Dance to earn more entries. I mean, you’re welcome to tweet about the contest to lure in some more Canadians or whatever, but not required.
You get one per giveaway, you can only win one of the giveaways, it will be a random draw on let’s say… Friday, and there’s just going to be no shenanigans about entering. Comment with what you want, done.
(You’re welcome for the ease-of-entry thing. You’re also welcome for the prizes, but I figured that was understood, and I also figure that not having to bend over backwards and pick up a cherry stem off the ground with your teeth to enter might actually be more appreciated than the prizes themselves.)
Okay, everyone else? Here is some stuff for you – two in law stories that I have been HOARDING to myself. You guys, I made Phil sit and listen while I read these entire threads out loud, adding my own commentary along the way. They’re so perfect. They’re so layered. There’s so much delusion, entitlement, and ridiculous behavior that I almost FAINTED FROM GLEE while reading them. I am SO EXCITED for you guys to read these stories.
Story 1: Unreasonable SIL!
This one is a bit unusual, because it’s written by a young woman, in defense of her own mother, against her sister-in-law. If that makes sense. Basically, this woman is railing on about her brother’s wife’s treatment of her own mother.
She wants to know how to force her sister-in-law to respect her mother by taking her advice. She wants to know if there is anything they can do at all, or if they have to keep LETTING HER SIL HAVE HER WAY ALL THE TIME when it comes to raising her children. She is APPALLED that her SIL refuses to bend to her mother’s advice, and can’t BELIEVE she’s been cut off from the family after ALL SHE DID was bitch out her SIL in her own house.
The best part of this is that the poster states her age to be 22, and you can just see “I’M 22!!!” SCREAMING out of every word she says. Honestly, this post and her subsequent responses to the comments made by other posters hits so many of the audacious high notes that I 85% believe it’s completely fake. I love it. I love everything about this post.
Story 2: What do you think?
This is a post by a mother-in-law, looking for some sympathy or advice after a visit with her son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren went so wrong that she “found herself” going home a day early.
It seems pretty standard at first – the MIL maybe a little misguided about her place, and the DIL maybe a little over-sensitive. But as you read the comments left by others, it gets really good. Especially several posts by a woman named Ginnie, who deconstructs the entire first post, pointing out the MIL’s errors and boundary-crossing.
It really gets good, however, when Ginnie asks to know just how the MIL came to “find herself” on a plane going home early. The original poster gives that last bit of detail on page six.
Y’all, I died. I DIED.
The rest of the post winds down nicely, with the MIL seeming to accept the advice that is being given. That would normally be kind of an anticlimactic let down, but she continues to insist she is owed an apology and that maybe some of the responders would be more sympathetic to her plight if they were ALSO mothers-in-law. Which most of them were.
Spectacular. Just spectacular.
So. Internet. Enter some contests. Bring over all your Canadians. Knock yourselves out. I’d appreciate if you shared the contest on your social network of choice, but no big if you don’t feel like it. You can still win a prize.
And for those of you not interested in any of these contests, you guys – THOSE STORIES, YOU GUYS. Let’s talk about those. LET’S TALK ABOUT THOSE!