Wallet updates
August 30th, 2010 | by TJ |I’ve decided to rename our wedding. From, uh… wedding… to “Spendfest 2010.”
Instead of wedding planning updates, here are some “Shit I had to buy” updates.
At my mother’s insistence, we have secured a limo. We ended up going back and forth a bit between this limo:
with this interior:
And this OH MY GOD COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LIMO:
With this HOLY SHIT NOT THE SAME AT ALL interior:
… right.
So.
Anyway, we need a limo for about, oh, 45 seconds, total, making the seventeen skrillion dollar cost completely reasonable.
(Actually, we did get it for a completely and totally reasonable price, I’m just bitter because I didn’t even want a limo, which made the whole “choosing a limo” thing that much more hilarious, as my mother strained to listen for subtle changes in inflection and tone to determine which of the two COMPLETELY IDENTICAL limos I preferred over the other, and has proceeded to agonize over the choice, unsure if I’ve gotten exactly what I wanted, ever since.)
(Only with a wedding could a person complain about people bending themselves in half to make sure that said person is perfectly pleased, even about details that OH MY GOD NO ONE CA—zzzzzzzz.)
I bought Phil’s wedding band from Amazon:
And then I bought my wedding band from Etsy:
Having realized on my last visit that our wedding is scheduled to take place right between some extremely handsome floor vents, we made arrangements to have them covered with tables, which lead to the necessity of purchasing things to go on said tables, which lead to the necessity of a trip to Ikea, which I suppose I can’t really complain about.
Because come on.
Ikea.
Two sets of these
and two sets of these
a whole shit load of these
a half a dozen of these
a bunch of these
(which I didn’t realize were reversible until just now)
and some of these, because I guess I went a little crazy at the end there.
So, due to Ikea’s weirdness about what you can order online and what you can’t, and their ridiculous shipping charges for the things you can order, and the fact that there’s no Ikea near my parents’ house, a whole bunch of candle-related crap will soon be shipping across the US in poorly packed flat rate boxes.
Additionally, due to my laziness and unwillingness to exert more than the base effort required, a lot of family members are going to be inheriting a lot of candle holders on October 24.
Happy early Christmas!
Anyway. Still to be done are centerpieces for the reception, and I’m wondering if I should have just purchased more of the exact same stuff, as I wanted candle centerpieces anyway.
You can just piled a bunch of that stuff on a table and call it “attractive,” right?
Or, at least, “attractive enough?”
I hope so, because that’s what I’m planning on doing with all of that business for the ceremony.
There is still so much I haven’t done, stuff I keep putting off until “later.”
Well, September is the day after tomorrow, which means the day after tomorrow is when people will start saying, “Are you excited that you’re getting married NEXT MONTH?,” so I don’t know exactly when I think this “later” is.
The dress shop called to schedule my fittings, but I haven’t called back, because I don’t even know when I plan to be in the state.
And fittings require shoes, which, don’t even get me started. It’s a long dress. No one is going to notice if I just paint my feet white, right?
I still have to get bow ties and stuff for the dogs, which, again, don’t ask, as they’re not even coming to the wedding, and this is a project you do not want to engage me about, as I may turn my desperate eyes upon you and rope you in.
I don’t have a veil, but I’m thinking that something from the “On the Go” line from this Etsy shop or this eBay shop is going to do just fine – any objections? I’ve encountered plenty of women who have had zero regrets about cutting corners on the veil (it’s just tulle), but if you have a point to make, make it now, or live in regret forever that my wedding was ruined and it was all your fault.
Oh, you know another thing that fittings require?
UNDERPANTS.
Do you know how much the whole underpants rig underneath a wedding gown involves?
Or how much it costs?
Because I do.
And you’d think I’d be the type to buck the whole Tyrannical Bridal Underpants System and say, “I will NOT spend $150 on underpants! I shall wear cotton underpants with penguins on them! STRIKE FORTH FOR UNDERPANTS-PENDANCE!”
Except, no.
I’ve had that dress on. I need some sort of scaffolding system.
I haven’t chosen any of the particular songs necessary for wedding stuff. Phil and I have not, overnight, developed dancing skills, as we originally planned. Am considering stuffing a chunk of something radioactive under the mattress and dealing with the crapshoot that is “what super power will we wake up with?” and hoping it’s “the super power of being able to not look like the uncoordinated nerds we are for one minute and 45 seconds of dancing.”
With my luck, it would probably end up being like, the ability to open bottle caps with my armpit. Convenient, but who is even going to want to drink that?
Anyway, Internet, I’m sorry to continue to bore you with THE FACT THAT I’M GETTING MARRIED, but I am not done buying shit yet.
Oh no, not nearly done.
Much more one-time-use items have yet to be purchased! I’m a one woman economy stimulation machine!
PS – On a lame note? You will not believe how many people are leaving the “I promise to dance if you play this song” line of the invitation blank! And Phil’s mother’s invitation got lost and never arrived! And my grandmother’s invitation showed up back in our mailbox again with the label completely shredded.
If I ever get married again – which I won’t, because even if Phil and I start to hate each other, we have a pact to stay together until the bitter, smelly end – I am going to spell out the invitation in rocks on a beach and fly all my relatives overhead in a helicopter, because in terms of cost (in money, effort and frustration) it would equal out to about the same.
By Bre on Aug 30, 2010
Didn’t wear a veil to my wedding and didn’t regret not having one. Also, can you just wear fun shoes? Like flip flops or converse?
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
You know, I might not get a veil, and if I do, it will be for the ceremony and pictures only. It’s just one of those things, you know? There won’t be another time in my life where a long white veil is appropriate, so I’m on the fence still about it.
[Reply]
LizP Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
One of my friends wore something to this on her wedding: http://www.advantagebridal.com/decorated-wedding-tennies-bridal-sneakers.html
[Reply]
By Diane on Aug 30, 2010
Just remember to spell it out backward so they can read it.
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Of the many reasons why I am sure we are destined to be together forever, this is very near the top.
[Reply]
By Liz on Aug 30, 2010
We got my husband a titanium wedding band. The best part about it is that he can now open beer bottles with it while he is wearing it.
So, I mean: that’s a win, right?
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
The ring is pretty cool, I have to admit.
[Reply]
Capn John Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Phil’s ring is awesome.
[Reply]
By coranada on Aug 30, 2010
I love all the candles and have always been a bit sad in Ikea for not having a good excuse to buy all those candle things.
I also love the ring you got and am now trying to think of an excuse to get the same one but frosted despite having no marriage related anything. I could always just wear it anyway or on the other hand but … meh.
So yeah, random internet person approves!
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Oh, the rings from that store are so nice, and so reasonably priced. A plain band doesn’t HAVE to be a wedding band. I say go for it!
[Reply]
By Delicia on Aug 30, 2010
Love the rings! Limo WTF? That bad boy needs to be rented for a whole night of drivin around the town, not for a 30 sec ride. boo! If you didn’t want a limo, why did you get one?
You’re getting there, make a list of all the stuff you’ve already done and cross them all off.. you’ll feel better!
LOVE the candles, I’m so jealous every time I go into IKEA I wish I had a bajillion dollars I could spend on STUFF. I don’t even need half of it but I just WANT it.
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
We got the limo because the girls are getting ready at my mom’s house, and will need to get to the hotel, and then the whole wedding party will need to be transported just a bit down the road for some quick pictures. It’s the easiest way to fit 10 people in a car, you know?
My mom does have a point that a bunch of women in long dresses will have an easier time in a limo than in a Camry!
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Oh and the Ikea stuff? ALL of that together, PLUS four different kinds of candles to fit in all of it, PLUS two cheap pillows for Sheldon? Less than $120.
I love Ikea.
[Reply]
By Erin on Aug 30, 2010
I think you should dedicate something awful like the chicken dance or the Cha Cha Slide to everyone who refused to fill out that line on the invitation. Then go outside for a quiet moment with Phil while it plays.
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 12:40 pm
You know what’s funny?
Phil’s grandmother, the only one on his side to fill out the song, chose the Chicken Dance!
[Reply]
By Chaninn on Aug 30, 2010
I personally favor the beaded/gemmed headbands. You can find them with detachable veils and you’ll still have pretty sparkles in your hair after you take off the veil(which from experience is immediately after the pictures are taken, lol).
My advice is look for comfy low heeled shoes or go with 2 pairs, fancy for the ceremony then some sandals or slippers for the reception. Your feet will thank you.
Have fun with the limo! All 45 seconds should be enjoyed. Punch all the buttons and stick your head out the top, seriously, when will you get the chance again?
There enough unasked for advice from me. =)
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 12:42 pm
I have a GREAT headband my mom got for me. I had it in a post sometime last week, I think. It’s REALLY sparkly. The veil would probably be just for pictures, like you said.
[Reply]
By Alias Mother on Aug 30, 2010
Not to ignore the other 7,000 words in this post, except that I’m totally ignoring them, here’s how the dancing thing went before our wedding.
“We should practice dancing together, I guess.”
“What do you mean? We dance just fine.”
“Just for funsies. Try it, okay?”
“Okay, but this is totally unnecessary.”
*step* *trip* *ka-thunk* “OW!”
We practiced. I recommend it.
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 12:42 pm
We’re huge nerds, so I figure we can totally learn how to dance from YouTube.
Right?
Right…. ?
[Reply]
Alias Mother Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Oh, totally. I’m just saying practice. I was going to bore you with the endless discussions about my tendency to lead, but I’ve decided to be kind.
[Reply]
By Melissa on Aug 30, 2010
I got my dog a bow tie! I honestly can’t remember where though to help you out. It was either a party supply store or a Hobby Lobby type place. He looked very fetching.
I borrowed my veil. Didn’t have any idea what it looked like – a friend just said ‘hey, you can borrow mine’ and I said “Oh, THANK YOU!” and took it before she changed her mind. Any recently marrieds you could borrow from?
[Reply]
By Stephanie Lueras on Aug 30, 2010
I’m telling ya–long dress, white ballet-style bedroom slippers. So comfortable! (Our venue had lots of stairs and we had to do a lot of walking for our pictures. Worth the $6 at Wal-mart!)
[Reply]
By sKRAPS on Aug 30, 2010
For some reason my invitation seems to be lost in the mail? And can you maybe move the date a week or so in either direction? Blizzcon is that same weekend, I’d hate to have to drive to LA, then fly out to PA for the wedding.
[Reply]
By Alorina on Aug 30, 2010
It gets worse… all of it. Do as much as you can as far in advance as you can. My wedding is this coming Saturday so I speak from put-offing experience. I put off so many things because I thought I had lots of time. Ha! Spare time is completely non-existent now.
As for the veil. The absolutely only reason I’m wearing one is because Best Friend #1 wore it when she got married 2 years ago and Best Friend #2 wore it when she got married last month. If it wasn’t for the sentimental value I’d skip it. As it is it will be coming off as soon as the photos/ceremony are done.
We also got all our vases/candles/candle holders etc at Ikea. Cheapest table decorations ever!
Thankfully we did not seem to have the invitation trouble that you did. We had one returned… but that was because we actually had an adress that totally doesn’t exist. Once we had the for real address it was delivered just fine.
[Reply]
By Brie on Aug 30, 2010
Dude, the cheap veil (I got mine from the eBay place you posted) is so worth it. I got a million and one compliments on mine and it was $15. As opposed to the $400 ones at the place I bought my dress at. Go for it. I have no regrets and am actually very proud of my cheapass decision in the veil department.
Just talking about it makes me stabby. The veil industry is a RACKET. Gah.
[Reply]
By Life of a Doctor's Wife on Aug 30, 2010
Oh LIMOS. HATE. I mean, they are fun, but so ridiculously expensive. We had a lot of limo drama around my wedding, which still makes me furious so I will move on now to VEILS!
I was one of those silly brides who had a real veil and dress and a fake veil and dress. I wore the fakes for a photo shoot, during which my husband and I rolled in the snow. My fake veil and dress cost practically nothing (Jessica McClintock ON SALE) but people thought they were beautiful and I loved the veil. So there is no need to spring for a super expensive veil.
Also, I don’t know what kind of dress you are wearing, but can your seamstress or whomever sew your “scaffolding system” into the dress? My seamstress sewed a bra thing into mine, and it was wonderful. All I had to buy were a pair of panties and some hose. Easy peasy. (Also made the whole peeing thing much less of a hassle.)
[Reply]
By sister on Aug 30, 2010
YOU SHOWED THE INTERNET YOUR RING BEFORE ME WE ARE IN THE BIGGEST FIGHT EVER OMG
HOLY MOLY
WHAT A FIGHT THIS IS
[Reply]
Chris Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 12:55 am
lol
[Reply]
By Kaelynn on Aug 30, 2010
My wedding is October 2nd, and I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten a package of the wedding variety delivered roughly every other day for the past three weeks. Fedex and UPS must be getting tired of me. There is so much odd stuff to purchase, especially since our wedding is heavy on the DIY end.
I made a trip to IKEA over the weekend and bought 130 wine glasses. I felt ridiculous. I also had to stop myself from buying tons of unnecessary decorations. Our apartment has piles of wedding crap that keep multiplying.
In regards to the limo – I still can’t believe how many insignificant decisions planning a wedding requires you to make. I feel like I’ve run out of opinions.
[Reply]
By Dinsdale on Aug 30, 2010
I love your sister.
That is all.
[Reply]
By Mel on Aug 30, 2010
Wouldn’t it be fun if you googled the top list of prom songs for the last three decades, and made people who didn’t fill out the line on the invite dance to them?
No?
Mine was November Rain. That should be punishment enough for people who didn’t send in their requests. (By the way – go Grandma!)
[Reply]
By Bellwether on Aug 30, 2010
I am highly convinced that, should I ever get married, I should elope.
So, you know, when my parents are upset about that, I’ll just tell them it was your fault.
[Reply]
By Ruune on Aug 30, 2010
I remember this stage of wedding preparations, we had a deliberately small and informal wedding but there were still stacks of things to decide. Anything that my Mum cared about more than me I just let her decide which was what she wanted to do anyway. It means that I had flowers that I thought were okay rather than perfect, but I didn’t really care, and it meant that my Mum also got the enjoyment of being involved.
However, toward the end I was like just picking stuff at random, and in most cases the decision was – if I don’t care about it and nobody else cares, then we are not having it. So we didn’t have centrepieces, I didn’t have a veil, we didn’t have bomboniere, we didn’t have a whole bunch of stuff that you are “meant” to have for a wedding. Neither of us particularly was into dancing so we didn’t even have a bridal dance at all (which neatly saved us having to learn how).
Oh, and a random collection of those glasses with some candles would be a gorgeous and easy centrepiece.
[Reply]
By Jessi on Aug 31, 2010
Feel free to tell me I’m a moron, but could you just head to Penney’s and get a clip on bow tie from the kids department and clip it to their collars? I mean, wouldn’t that work?
Anyway, good luck with it all. Every day I thank God that I’ve done the wedding thing and shall not do it again. If there is any goodness to the universe.
[Reply]
By David on Aug 31, 2010
UNDERPANTS! Egahds that word makes me picture a 6 year old boy in his Superman underoos. http://www.sfgate.com/blogs/images/sfgate/parenting/2009/10/08/underoos260x351.bmp
I know I know I know… you have an aversion to the word panties. Underpants though? Yuchhhh.
Your choice of rings is pretty amazing though!
[Reply]
By Andy C. on Aug 31, 2010
Go with the cheap veil, like everyone else above me said. Although I am in fact male, I have several female friends, and a number of them are married and gave the same advice.
I applaud your choice of rings. And Phil’s is especially cool looking.
[Reply]
By Wulfa on Aug 31, 2010
I bought a cheap little pair of white slippers from Walmart. It was my token resistance in the whole wedding scheme of things (I wanted to elope).
And I’m with you. Never getting married again.
[Reply]
By Teresa on Aug 31, 2010
I was married last October and had many of the issues you’re having. I also gave in on the limo thing, my mom insisted we couldn’t get ready on site and should have a limo from the house to the ceremony/reception site. But I did not back down on the veil issue. It seemed everyone (except the hubby) wanted me to wear a veil and I hate them, especially on me, I’m short (5’3″) and I was already covered in fabric I didn’t need my head all covered too. I did let them put a tiara on me, but no veil ;) I also lucked out on the shoes, I found a pair of small heels on sale for $30 bucks at bandolino and I still wear them. Oh and I totally wore cotton $8 underwear…hey they were blue.
BTW, good luck with the rest of your plans it will be here and over before you know it, just enjoy it! All these little details (like centerpieces) will be blur, just have fun!
[Reply]
By Alex on Sep 3, 2010
Dude – over $300 last week in envelopes and stamps. I feel your pain.
[Reply]
By Lilivati on Sep 3, 2010
I got my veil for $15 on ebay. My photographer refused to believe me…I think she loved that veil more than everything else in the wedding combined. o_O
[Reply]