I didn’t study for this and I’m suddenly naked!
November 20th, 2009 | by TJ |Ok, Internet, with what I’m going to talk about today, I’m just going to cut you off at the pass right from the start to remove the possibility of getting comments of a certain type that I REALLY hate (and I am also telling you now that to make them anyway will not be NEARLY as clever and funny as you think it would be, because while normally being directly defiant of given instructions or requests is clever and unique and funny and completely original and oh my gosh no one has ever thought of doing that before, today it won’t be. Also, that was sarcasm. It is NEVER any of those things).
Anyway, this isn’t even directed at you, Internet. I mean, it is directed at the INTERNET, but not my Internet, you know, standard Internet. This is directed at potential passers by who aren’t familiar with the level of awesomeness required to be a commenter here. Specifically, it is for the future un-awesome passersby, who seem to leave comments of this type on ancient posts, long past when it’s worth reopening the discussion, but not so long past that I am not supremely tempted to send unreasonably rude emails in response.
Ok, so here is what I am cutting you off from: Today, I am going to talk about wedding dresses. Now, we all know that the wedding industry and other media and folklore-ish sources would purport that all little girls have planned their wedding their whole lives. I am not assuming that is true.
Do you hear that? I am not assuming that because you are female, you’ve always had your dream wedding in mind.
So that means that the comment you want to write, future un-awesome passer by? The one you were going to start off all snottily with, “Actually, I’m a girl and blah blah blah?” It doesn’t apply. Because I’m not assuming that you’ve planned your wedding your whole life. You might have. You might not have.
Look, I understand that you, future un-awesome passer-by, are totally not the typical girl. And that you like video games and cars and are deeply offended by the idea that when you skimmed this post and totally missed the point? It looked like I was saying you planned your future wedding your whole life. And you feel like I NEED TO KNOW that you have a vagina AND are not exactly like every single other woman on the planet.
I get it. You’re practically Fergie, what with that complex personality you’ve got going on. Just, you know, spare me from the declarations of what a unique and special snowflake you are and save it for the 6 men in this world suffering from that unique disease that makes them believe they’re actually living in the 1950s and will actually be impressed with how novel you are.
Anyway, so as I was saying, I’m planning this wedding, you know? And I’ve got the place and I’ve got the DJ and I’ve got the photographer, which are pretty much the big pieces, at least the ones that need to be booked by now to make sure that they’re available for my chosen date.
Now, apparently, looking at all the wedding checklists and such, I am supposed to be dress shopping right now. I mean like, now. As we speak. I’m behind and I’m failing at wedding. However, I am not going to make it to Pennsylvania for Christmas this year, for the first time in my life, and that had been when we were planning on going dress shopping. I’m going to try to get out there early next year, but in the mean time, I suppose I should at least be thinking about what kind of dress I’d like. Because it’s not like Scranton, PA is a hotbed of bridal fashions.
Except, when I try to picture what my dress is “supposed” to look like, I have a complete blank. I haven’t been imagining my wedding my whole life! I mostly imagined I’d die old and alone with cats that would eventually eat off my face when I died in my recliner in front of Murder She Wrote, which will conveniently still be in syndaction somewhere, because there are always going to be old people, thus, always a market.
There are about, oh, I don’t know, 6 billion different options. So far, I am pretty sure I’ve settled on a color.
I’m gonna go with the white.
Other than that? Oh my god, Internet, help me. Straps? No straps? Those little cute shoulder thingies? Do you like this one? How about this jobber? You can’t say you like both, they’re COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. What kind of dress will minimize… everything? Except also make me look really tall without me having to wear heels?
Are people going to laugh at me if I wear white? (I would!)
Actually, this isn’t really a question so much about what kind of dress you like (though if you’ve met me and have a suggestion for what would make my particular lumpy-in-awkward-places body look all kinds of amazing, I’D SO APPRECIATE IT), but more about decision making.
If you’ve got to make a decision, and suddenly realize that not only do you have nothing in mind, but the options are so unbelievably numerous and varied, how do you even go about getting started? I’m suffering from that “too many choices so I’ll just sit here paralyzed” syndrome that I am totally going to submit to medical journals for notoriety and fame in the academic world, as I so richly deserve, because come ON, have you even heard my Tom Hanks Theory? Because that is amazing.
When you have 6 billion choices and no clue how to start… how do you start?
(To be clear, you do not have to feel obligated to help me choose a wedding dress, but can instead address the general decision making process.)
By Jen_Ann_W on Nov 20, 2009
You just… go. When I went, I THOUGHT I had an idea about what I wanted. And what I fell in love with? TOTALLY the opposite. I personally think it would be more fun if you don’t have any ideas set in stone. Try on a variety of styles & types – that’s the only way you’ll know for certain what type works on you and what doesn’t. Don’t let it stress you out! And don’t be afraid!
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By Jen_Ann_W on Nov 20, 2009
And I just realized what LAME advice that was. *sigh* I suppose that comment alone quantifies exactly what type of non-girl I am without even having to say it!
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Hey, it was good advice for dress shopping, to be sure. People are so comment-tense these days!
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By Jason Doege on Nov 20, 2009
The one labeled “this one”. Strapless all the way.
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Oh, men.
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Pablo Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
No way you’re going to get away with strapless.
You’ll soon learn there is no such thing as just white….there’s off-white, cream, silk, diamond, ivory, champagne….
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Jason Doege Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Hey! I tried to keep it short, not tell you what is wrong with your thought process or to relax or any of that crap. Just my un-distilled opinion.
The good news is that brides almost always look awesome. I think wedding dresses mostly are designed to help make that so.
Still, and all, I think strapless is the way to go. Go try on a couple, take pictures, post them and prove me wrong.
Also, in my opinion, there is just white. None of that off-white crap. Just white (or so nearly that you don’t care to differentiate, anyway.)
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I meant your response is typical of men in general. And we are going with huge sweeping generalizations of men and women here, so anyone planning to object to that, pft.
Like, I write this big long post asking how to make decisions. Rather than address the decision making process, you, a man, swept in and made a decision.
Not that that’s terrible. I just think it’s a funny example of men being all “I’ll just SOLVE THE PROBLEM and then we don’t even have to talk about this!”
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Jason Doege Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Oh, and if strapless really won’t work for structural reasons :-) , then a very open neck to the shoulders. Just no straps. I hate straps.
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lenebean Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
I wholeheartedly disagree about strapless. Not because they aren’t beautiful or anything, but I know that I have some similar parts that you do (coughboobscough) that also would not would not work well with a strapless dress. I mean, there’s a contraption built into dresses to help keep them in, from what I understand, but you’ll likely be fussing with your dress the whole time. Moreover, something with thin straps or a halter will show plenty of skin in a sexy way while providing plenty of support.
In terms of decision-making processes, that’s not really something I can help with because I am terrible at making decisions and get completely overwhelmed by the plethora of options. I see way too many possibilities and don’t know where to start. So, I say anything that helps you take just one small step is a good place to start. Going for a walk helps me clear my head, too.
Was this the kind of un-awesome response you were bemoaning? Also, I hope my tweet yesterday about actually sharing sex tips with friends was not asshole-ish. To be honest, I hadn’t yet had a chance to finish the whole post about this month’s Cosmo (hilarious), so I didn’t get the whole context at the time. You’re right; I have yet to go to a bridal shower where I swap sex tips with a room full of women, mostly because there tends to be a room of women that don’t necessarily know each other all that well, often including the soon to be mother-in-law or sister-in-law. Awwwwkwaaaaaard. So apologies for an un-awesome tweet. But I do totally share sex tips with my closest friends, usually in the form of hushed one-liners somewhere in public over a beer.
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By HokieJayBee on Nov 20, 2009
so i clicked on the comment page, sooooooooo hoping there were already a ton of comments i could read to feel out what exactly you meant with your commenting rules, since you would have commented back agreeing / disagreeing / thanking / chastising – to the previous comments.
and of course there were none. so i’ll be first i guess. gulp. unless of course 2 or so comments pop up and populate while i’m typing this. which would be funny if one of them was like mine, and then you bit their head off and said don’t do that again anyone, and then mine came in. looking all short-bus for my efforts.
but alas, here goes.
first, i think i fit into the rules thus far. i am a guy. i do not have a vagina. one could argue that my wife has testicles since mine are in a jar in her purse, figuratively. but it is not in reverse. i’m sure you understand.
so here’s a guy’s take. and i feel comfortable saying this because of what i read into the type of girl you sound like. and specifically the part about whether or not i assume you are *that* type of girl, since you might or might not be the type of girl that has been planning this day since you were 4. and you might or might not be one who has already dreamt of this the day to such detail that you have a vision in your head about how you’ll look, in which dress, to what song, etc.
because, i can make one non-assuming promise, as i see via the pictures that phil appears to be a man as well. all those things you’re worried [or not worried about], or assume that you should [or shouldn't] be worried about, or assume that you have [or haven't] dreamt about or stressed about – it is *NOT* an assumption to say that phil HASN’T gone through any of that. and he will think that you are beautiful and perfect no matter what you are wearing. and the day will be the same to him, in all of its beauty and storybook ways, and also in the practical ways – there was a church, then an “i do”, then a limo, then food, then music, now i’m married.
i’m not belittling your choice or stress here, this was meant as a stress reliever, because phil will think no matter what you choose, colors, shoulders, straps, length, heels, ANY of it – you’re still his, and he likes it.
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HokieJayBee Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
dammit see, 3 comments not 2. failure to type fast.
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
You’re right. Phil is going to like me no matter what I wear, which is why HIS opinion totally doesn’t count.
Also, there weren’t any commenting RULES, overthinker! I was just telling the future un-awesome passerby to not even bother, because, lame.
ALSO, I appreciate your attempts to unstress me. However, not to sound too girly, but that was a man answer. I mean, it’s kind of narrow minded to assume that the only thing that matters to me about my wedding dress is what Phil thinks of me, right?
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
I also didn’t mean that to sound as confrontational as it did.
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HokieJayBee Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
wasn’t too confrontational. i know it was a man answer. i guess half the point is that half the wedding occasion will love your dress 100% no matter what.
so if you love your dress at all, even 1%, then more than half the people involved love your dress.
my point wasn’t that you should pick your dress assuming the only thing that matters to you about your wedding dress is what phil thinks. because what phil thinks doesn’t matter, he’ll love it no matter what. i promise. and if he doesn’t and you actually learn that he doesn’t, you’ll have his in a jar way quicker than mrs. hokiejaybee got mine. that is, unless of course, you already have his in a jar. i mean, we know there’s not a lot of room in those 12 year old dress blues.
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By Adlib on Nov 20, 2009
Just here to say I felt the same way when I had to do it. Also, don’t worry about being “behind” in planning. I got engaged in February, didn’t start planning/shopping til like May, and got married in October so some of us are just procrastinators, but it works!
I also agree with Jen_Ann because I thought I wanted one thing when I walked into the bridal store, but I totally loved something else. (Mostly because what I loved on the model was totally “blarg” on me.) Fortunately, most stores have shopping assistants that will help you decide by what you like and don’t like about certain dresses so you can narrow down your favorites. It does help to have a list or printout of some of your “likes” so you have a starting point.
Also, you’ll probably end up wearing a nice breathing-restricting corset that holds everything together anyway. (Or not, if that’s your preference, but they sure do work!)
I love that strapless one you linked. That was beautiful!
To me, it was very intimidating and overwhelming to plan the whole thing at first, but you get there and suddenly it’s like “I put this thing together? I rock!” It’s a pretty awesome feeling besides the whole awesomeness of getting married. :)
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
I’m not so much worried about being “behind” (ok, I totally am) as I am eager to get all the “big” things out of the way so I can think about nothing for a while.
I am trying really hard not to set my hopes on a specific style, which is easy because I have no ideas what I like, but I think I’d be so sad if I fell in love with something and it looked terrible on me.
I am, however, going to go on ahead and strap myself into something suffocating, so as to make the most possible dresses look good on me as I can.
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By Awlbiste on Nov 20, 2009
My only constructive comment is that nobody cares anymore if you are not a virgin and wear white. I think we’ve all assumed by now that most people getting married are no longer virgins. So yeah, rule- no longer applies.
All my other comments are of a nonconstructive “I also have never thought about getting married” nature. Mostly because I don’t ever want to.
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ME NOT BEING A VIRGIN?
I SAID THAT BECAUSE WHITE WASHES ME OUT.
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Awlbiste Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Mhmmmmmmmmmm.
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Khronos Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
I’m so nice that I won’t even try and dig into the tj.com archives and try to find an answer to that question ;)
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Kat Reply:
November 21st, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Very very few people can get away with pure white. I’m certainly not one of them – ended up with an antique cream.
Also had a blast going in and trying on every ridiculous dress I could find. :)
Ended up with something quite a bit plainer than I thought would look good on me, too.
The style has nothing to do with what will smooth out and hold in odd pieces – that is all in the foundation garments. Yay (boo!) girdles ;)
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By avasmommy on Nov 20, 2009
1. Do you feel comfortable in it.
2. Will you want your picture taken in it? Pictures that will haunt, er, follow you forever.
3. Don’t deviate from your personal style. If frilly isn’t normally you, rule those out immediately. If you aren’t comfortable with no sleeves, short sleeves, etc.
It’s overwhelming the amount of dresses out there. Once you start making a list of what you DON’T like it gets easier.
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
I think that making a list of what I DON’T like is going to be way easier than trying to come up with everything I DO like.
The thing is, though, about making it be “me?” Wedding dresses are so far out of what I’ve ever, ever worn – I mean, I haven’t worn a formal dress since the prom. It’s hard, for me, to translate jeans & t-shirts to their dress equivalent. It’s like learning all over again what my “style” is.
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Tristina Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
“Jeans and T-shirt style” right there sums up a LOT of your dress preference.
You aren’t flashy so avoid dresses with a lot of sequin accents, lace embroidery or colored flowers. Maybe you people to think more of “she looks really beautiful” rather than “she walked right off a runway” which is the approach I took when I picked mine last year.
Go simple and elegant rather than big bows, gathered skirts or crazy designs in beadwork.
I thought it was going to be a huge hassle, but the dress I picked was the third one I tried on. It was comfortable; I looked good; it stayed up; it wasn’t too long. So it was purchased and sat in its bag until wedding day.
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By Erin on Nov 20, 2009
First, I’m basically, agreeing with the first poster. Just go try on a lot of random stuff. Think of it like Halloween – yes, this dress looks awful on the hanger, but how FUNNY would it be to just try it on. You never know what you’re gonna like.
Second, take female back up support, and I don’t mean your mom. Sure, mom can come, but make sure you have a female FRIEND with you. I love my mom, but she kept bringing me these huge satin dresses for a wedding in Mexico, and my friend helped keep me in a good mood and helped move my mom to the lighter-weight section.
Third, wedding dress sizes are totally bullshit. Don’t get worked up over the numbers, cause they’re all wrong, I promise. I don’t know why wedding dress companies do this – my best friend burst into tears when told she’d need a size 18 dress and she had just worked herself down to size 12 jeans.
Fourth (and this ties into #2), don’t let your mom (or other well meaning person) choose your dress for you. I know she wouldn’t ACTIVELY do so, but my mom’s teary eyes almost made me go with a mermaid satin dress, which I knew I didn’t want, but her reaction was just so sweet and she was paying for it and it did look nice . . . . Stick to your guns. You’re the one who has to wear, walk, dance, drink, and eat in the thing, so get what you like. Mom’ll cry at your wedding regardless.
Fifth, if you’re having bridesmaids and one is able to go to the wedding dress shop with you, look for her dress too. I felt so self conscious being the only person trying on fancy dresses, but with my friend along trying on possible bridesmaids dresses, it became like a regular shopping trip or playing dress up.
Good luck. I got through my dress shopping in two trips, although my mom tried to extend it by arguing that “You never know, there might be a better one out there.” I replied to her “If I’ll never know, won’t I be thoroughly content with this one in my ignorance?” I won’t say it was great fun, but I survived it, and I loved my dress!
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Adlib Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Oh I totally forgot about the sadistic sizing in wedding dresses! Someone told me it was European. Yeah, pay no attention to those.
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
I am making a solemn vow to myself to ignore numbers.
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
First – I think you are on a good track there. If I go alone, I’ll just ask the sales person to pull out some random stuff and if I go with family/friends, I’ll have them each pick out something. I guess going into it with NO ideas is helpful in some ways!
Also, I think my mom is going to end up being a problem for the exact opposite reason! She is SO HESITANT to inflict her opinion on me so she doesn’t influence me, it’s hard to get a real opinion out of her when you really want one!
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Erin Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Yeah, I think I’ve got some mom issues bubbling up in this “helpful” post. I forget that not everyone mother will try to un-invite the bride’s father to the wedding.
Oh another trick – bring a camera and don’t buy anything the day you’re there. Right down the designer and model number of the dresses you like and have someone take pictures of you in them. Then, go home and pursue your top contenders for a few days and the picture option allows you to see you in the dress as others will see you.
And, remember, it is just a dress and the value you place on it only depends on how much you need it to matter. For some people, the dress is the be-all, end-all, and that’s okay. For others, it’s just something you wear so people aren’t shocked you showed up to your wedding naked.
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Erin Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
God, “write” down the number. Way to go, English major!
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By Alex on Nov 20, 2009
You’re making me feel behind. I’m not even planning on shopping for a dress until sometime after February and we’re getting married on the same day as you two. Maybe I should be stressed? I’m going to stick with no. Most of the books and stuff I’ve looked at say to get a dress 6+ months out. I’ll worry if it’s 1 month.
Anyhoo, though I do have a very small idea of what I want, I agree with Jen_Ann that you really can’t know until you get there. Trying stuff on is the only way to know for sure what looks great and what sucks. So stop stressing, and start shopping!
Wow. This comment contained absolutely no advise. But did you notice I wasn’t afraid to “me too!”? That’s PWC magic, there.
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I’ve read 10 months out, 8 at the outside. My big problem, actually, is that I don’t know if I’m going to get to Pennsylvania at all, and I might be tackling this shopping all alone.
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By Skraps on Nov 20, 2009
I recommend you and Phil go shopping together. (sorry Phil, don’t hate me) When Mrs. Skraps and I got married so many eons ago. We went dress shopping together. It was 3 weeks of horrible excruciating pain for me. (Phil, I suggest investing in a gameboy or something like that) But to tell the truth, I really enjoyed the time together on the hunt. In the end she narrowed it down to about 4 dresses, took all her friends on a one day trip to see all of them, pick a dress then drink themselves stupid. Since I wasn’t there for the final decision I was still surprised come wedding day.
p.s. I totally am not going to tell anybody I cried at the church when I saw her walk down the isle. Heck 15 years later I am tearing up thinking about it.
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I know a lot of couples go together these days, but he’s not coming along wedding dress shopping because he won’t be seeing the dress until that day. Old fashioned, I suppose.
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Skraps Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
oh and p.s.
Unless you plan on defying the laws of gravity, starps.
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Just so you know, wedding dresses are constructed with a lot of internal scaffolding to hold up the boobs of most women. So strapless is rarely off limits due to boob size.
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Skraps Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
huh? These are things guys don’t know.
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By Tami on Nov 20, 2009
How to make a decision when there are eleven BILLIONTY different options, and maybe some people have been thinking about THIS ONE decision their entire lives, but you’ve maybe contemplated it like…twice?
Hire an expert.
Seriously.
In the wedding dress example, a lot of wedding dress stores have experts for hire (for free, a lot of times, as they want you to buy a dress from them, and there’s astronomical markup on those things).
And don’t plan on making a decision your first (couple of) time(s) out.
Adlib had a great point – a lot of brides end up using bodybinding corsets or the like. Decide if you’re going to do that before you try on dresses, so you can have one for the try ons and have the right “figure” to compare in the dress. They do restrict your breathing, though, so if you panic when bound (a bride friend of mine almost had a breakdown AFTER the wedding because of her corset, and had an emergency de-corseting in the limo to the reception) try before you buy. And stuff.
But yeah. Hire an expert. Not a mom, not a sister, not a good friend who loves dresses…an expert in Shopping For Bridal Gowns.
(or an expert in anything else, bringing the question back out to its broader roots – want a website? Ask an expert on websites. Want a puppy? Ask an expert on dog breeds/puppy personalities, etc.)
Also, anyone who would look askance at any bride (regardless of which side of Fergie’s personality she showed) wearing white needs to be smacked with a newspaper until they can read the date on it.
My personal take on the two dresses? The strapless one is gorgeous, but strapless dresses like that tend to bulge oddly for women who like to…eat, and stuff (they give armpit boobs, which are as gross as they sound) plus they get uncomfortable after a few hours, and I always get antsy and start yanking it up (VERY ladylike).
Which may or may not help you in any way, but I stand by my general decision making advice – Hire an Expert!
^_^ I hope you have a fun dress-buying experience.
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
I think I’m going to end up being an expert’s dream. It is looking like I might have to do at least initial shopping all on my own, and an expert is an excellent idea. I will probably end up just walking in somewhere and saying “Ok, you make some guesses and I’ll put them on.”
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Tami Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
*grins* I guarantee they’ll be used to it. If you’ve got a camera, it might be worth your while to take pics of you in the dresses that aren’t straight-up-haeeeeel-no’s, just so you can refer back to something physical instead of relying on your memory. (Or heck, take the horrid ones too, just for roffles later.)
A picture of a dress on YOU saves at least four or five headaches later.
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By Davey J on Nov 20, 2009
Since you seem to like both of the linked ones, I’d start with figuring out what in particular you like about each one. Is it the ruffles in the former? The lacework and bead detail in the latter? Once you have a basic list of “features” in mind, commence googleage!
Now, please forgive me if this is too forward, (or something?) Assuming a “couple” of your “lumps” are of the sort that Fergie refers to, and assuming they are ample, those dresses are going to accentuate in very different ways; the Angelo’ll make ‘em look bigger without piles of cleavage and show off decolletage, while the Eden will give all the cleavage you could possibly want… and then some! Depends on what you’re looking to show off (or not) really.
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Actually, I don’t have particular feelings towards either of those dresses, but you are right in that deconstructing the parts of them may be quite helpful.
Also, oddly? I have heard that the lower the neckline, the smaller boobs will look. Which totally seems counterintuitive, until I image me in a halter top. Which is basically a boob-sack.
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Davey J Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
I’ve heard the same, actually, though only referring to strapless dresses. The lower neckline means the lasses have to be reigned in more tightly to prevent unplanned peepshows.
Also, I’ve always loved girls in halters and, until now, never really pondered why. *wanders off in shameful realization of own piggishness* ;P
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By Delicia on Nov 20, 2009
I know many people here have said strapless… but frankly, no matter how snug it is, no matter how much double-sided tape you stick inside it or clips and pins you use to keep it in place, the ENTIRE time you will be fretting about if it’s going to fall down.
Go with something you are comfortable with, that you don’t have to worry about *moving* in — you can dance, you can toss the bouquet, you can lean over whatever, without feeling like you’re going to tear or lose something.
Definately go try on a bunch of stuff, you may find parts of dresses you like – the flounce, the line of the sleeve, the train.. and then you can have a better idea of the overall gown you want. But in any case, have FUN with it!
-Del
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
You know, I haven’t worn a ton of strapless clothing in my life, but I’ve never worried about anything falling down. I’ve got… a shelf. To rest things on.
Now, my complete lack of ass, on the other hand, often has me clutching at my pants as they make their way down.
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By Swistle on Nov 20, 2009
My favorite part: “and are deeply offended by the idea that when you skimmed this post and totally missed the point? It looked like I was saying you planned your future wedding your whole life.”
Also the part about practically being Fergie.
What I do when I have an overwhelming decision to make of this sort is I just grab a bunch of everything and start trying on, and gradually—GRADUALLY—opinions start forming.
What I specifically disrecommend is clipping photos from bridal magazines. That never gets anyone anywhere happy.
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
I love how you find my favorite parts of my own posts and point them out. It makes me feel so appreciated.
Also? I clipped pictures at first? And then when I looked at them a couple of months or even a few weeks later I was all, “What the eff was I thinking?”
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Nona Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Swistle is absolutely right. Pictures from magazines are a bad idea.
You are actually in the BEST position to shop for a dress because you don’t have your heart set on a “dream” dress. And everyone *hates* that “dream” dress-seeking wench anyway.
Go to a bridal store that has a wide selection in your price range. Try on a few in different styles and see what flatters your figure. And take someone with you that will take photos. You want to see how it looks in photos cause those will be with you forever.
And shop for the underwear before you shop for the dress. Undies will make a huge difference in the fit of the dress.
Get the best fitting dress that you can afford. And it will be the perfect dress because your man and everyone else in attendance will think you look beautiful. Guaranteed.
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By Tchann on Nov 20, 2009
What I did:
Mom and I went to David’s Bridal. And I tried on dress after dress. I started by just going through the racks and picking out what I liked and trying everything on. And after about six dresses I stopped, tried the first one back on again, and chose it on the spot.
If white’s not your color, look at their bridesmaid dresses, in all sorts of colors and all sorts of styles. And try things on. You might hate it (I certainly started hating it after dress number two), but it’s the best way to find out what looks good on you.
(by the way, this was my winner: http://pics.livejournal.com/mageraine/pic/00004bxx)
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TJ Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
I’m trying to decide if it’s better to try to narrow down first, or go all willy nilly in the store to trying some of everything on. Seems the majority are in favor of willy nilly. Also, your dress was lovely!
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By Vronak on Nov 20, 2009
When faced with too many choices, but plenty of time, I just pick one at random and see how it turns out. Even if it’s completely wrong, I have more information. And then pick again and see. And again. Each time learning more and eliminating possibilities.
Plus, by chosing one at random, I get passed the feeling of being overwhelmed, that it’s more than I can handle – I feel in control.
It sounds like you’re trying to do this in a vacuum – i.e. online. I don’t know if you can get passed the ‘overwhelm’ that way. GO shopping and try on one that’s absolutely wrong – and you’ll no longer feel trapped or powerless.
(Sorry, I know nothing about dresses at all :p)
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By T-Sonn on Nov 20, 2009
Yes, totally, on the first one – omg no on the second. From what I’ve learned about you from this blog – I’d say, make a list of what you DON’T want, what you hate. Take the list to your appointment and see what they bring you.
Buy a body-shaper, and bring it with you. It WILL make you look – smoother – under the dress, regardless of style.
Congrats, and best of luck on the hunt.
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By Chaninn on Nov 20, 2009
In the words of the infamous Stacy and Clinton (What Not To Wear), “Try it on!”
Dresses especially look different on a model and on a hangar. I wish I’d taken more time trying dresses on when I had the chance. My mom made my dress (and boy, was it ever georgous!) but sometimes I wish I’d done the shopping and comparing all those wonderful gowns.
Ohhh, or you could pretend you’re a fairy princess getting ready for the ball……
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By Nef on Nov 20, 2009
Well, I see that everyone is saying that strapless is the way to go. Well, when I was looking for a dress for me i was all like “ohhhh strapless is sooooo pretrry! give give!” guess what? As a “heavy” person above the waist strapless just didint work for me :P It also makes your torso look shorter.
A dress with neck strap make the torso look longer and slimmer, especially if u dont have any “fluffy” whatever decorations in the boobies.
If u dont like your waist-hips transition try to get a dress that widens right after the waist so people cant notice the lumpy thingie between wait/hips
(just a not, don’t EVER, but EVER choose a dress with bows on your but, it’s just awfull!)
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By Delicia on Nov 20, 2009
Oh! A couple other important things… try to set a price limit before you start, and.. wear the same underthings to go try em on that you’ll wear on the special day– that way it will fit the same.
-Del
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By Katie on Nov 20, 2009
1) If white for some reason blanches you out or doesn’t look good on you, don’t be afraid to go with creams or other colors. My older sister can’t wear white, makes her look like a ghost, so she wore an ivory and looked great.
2) You don’t have to restrict yourself to traditional wedding dresses. If you can find something that you like and makes you look good at a store, go for it. I hate all things frilly, so I went a little further a stream. http://www.moresca.com/product_info.php?products_id=124 was my wedding dress in white with blue and green trim.
3) While being able to try them on in the store is great, you can often find deals online.
4) The reason they recommend looking that far in advance to your wedding date is you can’t just buy your dress at the store and walk out with it the same day (there are exceptions to this). You typically have to order the darn thing, and it takes a while for them to make it, ship it, etc.
5) Sigh, I hate dress shopping. However, if you must, take someone who will give you an honest opinion. The assistants in the store are great, but they are also trying to sell you something, so their opinion won’t always be helpful.
I agree with people before me, forget the sizing entirely. Just make sure you don’t buy a dress too small hoping to lose weight before the big day. A lot of people eat when they’re stressed, and few things are more stressful than planning a wedding. A lot of the dress shops utilize clips or other things to “see” how the dress would look on you. Some shops even offer custom fitting where they’ll “adjust” the seams to fit you better, but these are usually at a cost.
The dress was probably one of the more expensive parts of our wedding, and somehow don’t really see myself wearing it again. There is a trend recently that the day after your wedding going and taking pictures while you “trash” the dress. Friend is planning on running through the woods, and other things, maybe including mud, with it on while the photographer commemorates it all.
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Katie Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Another piece of totally unrequested advice:
Bridesmaid dresses
There are a lot of good options you can see at the store when you go wedding dress shopping.
Couple of things to decide before you go:
1) Do you want them to all match? Wear the exact same gown?
2) Is there any kind of revenge factoring in here? AKA are you wanting back at someone for making you wear a crappy bridesmaid dress in the past?
3) Do all of your bridesmaids have coloring/body figures that a single gown would make them look not awful? If the answer to 2 was yes, ignore this question for that person.
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By Erica on Nov 20, 2009
Actually, I’m a girl, and I’ve missed the entire point of this article.
My decision process usually involves me looking at a lot of choices, and then I see lots of things that could work, so I start adding them to a list. But none of them strike me as ‘GET THIS’ off of the bat.
And then I have to narrow down the list. Sometimes it’s easy, like if there’s a money limit or something. But other times what gets eliminated depends on my mood. And then the last few choices I usually waffle between for a long time.
As for wedding dresses, I would probably make that initial list of styles, and then try them all on and find only 5 are somewhat comfortable and of those only 2 are in styles that flatter me. And then I would pick one and then think I made the wrong decision after it’s purchased.
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By Kayeri on Nov 20, 2009
Well, you’ve taken the first step, looking at dresses and no doubt getting some ideas of what you like. I like the Alfred Angelo one as it is elegant and not too complicated. I think the Edenbridals one you posted just kind of looks old and out of date.
But from my own experience, TJ, I will tell you to go to a nice large bridal boutique and TRY THEM ON! Different styles and such so you can see how they look on you! Be prepared for that shock moment when you find the dress you look awesome in… and there can be several of those, trust me. ;) I am NOT a dress person, never have been, never will be, but that is still quite a moment.
If you hate shopping like me, well, suck it up, it’s something that must be done… and make sure they have a decent alterations person… a great dress can be destroyed by lousy alterations…
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By Garrett on Nov 20, 2009
when faced with too many options, it can be helpful to arbitrarily reduce the number of options (like Vronak said)
if in the end you have a bunch of dresses with no straps, no shoulder things, and 7 swooshy things instead of 8, and you don’t like any of them, pick an attribute and change it, or just change all of them, until you find what you like.
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By JdJdJd on Nov 20, 2009
I ordered my dress at about 4 months out with no problems. I am not a ‘small’ woman by any means and the thought of wedding dresses just terrified me. I had an idea of what I didn’t want but that was all.
The only advice I can give is try everything on. Just because you think it won’t look good doesn’t mean anything. Everything looks different on the hangar. Try on stuff you would never have considered. Play dress-up and have fun.
What started out as a horrifying thought for me (omg..tying on clothes..but I’m huge..I’ll look like a giant marshmallow) ended up being not so bad. And I found a dress on my first day looking.
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By Tracey on Nov 20, 2009
Wow, hot topic… chiming in a couple hours late with my personal experience:
1) Dragged two friends (really, really patient friends) with me, once a week for who-remembers-now how long.
2) Tried on EVERYTHING. Things I saw and liked, things my friends grabbed, things the saleswomen suggested, things that were on sale…seriously, I tried on a very large number of very different dresses.
3) Picked the easy choice — the one that everyone loved, that we kept remembering and comparing other dresses to afterward, that was just that step better than anything else. The choice was easy, by then.
Also — if travel is an option — Cincinnati apparently has some excellent wedding dress warehouse-type shopping destinations. Not crazy-far from PA, maybe. [shrug]
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By Wulfa on Nov 20, 2009
So about 2 months before my wedding I walked into a bridal store. Looked around for 5, maybe 10 minutes? And saw the dress. Loved the dress. Bought the dress. Let maid of honor choose her own dress.
And I was done.
I like the Alfred Angelo one.
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By Iain on Nov 20, 2009
I think the jobber… the one from Eden Bridals looks more… hmmm. You know all the women in the charts right now who sing with the flair of the 50s but they’re definitely contemporarily dressed and behaved? That’s what the dress says to me; that sort of weird juxtaposition.
I also think the first dress works well because that woman doesn’t really have boobs.
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By Shelly on Nov 20, 2009
My advice is the same as the first person’s. Go to stores and try on lots of dresses. Try on dresses you like on the hangers and dresses you don’t really like on the hangers. Try on things you think you will like and things you don’t think you will like. You may be totally surprised by what looks good on you and what doesn’t.
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By Caroline on Nov 20, 2009
Mostly, I just want to second what everyone else said.
Going willy nilly in the store when looking for a dress isn’t a bad thing. When my friend and I went looking for a bridesmaid dress, we had three particular ones in mind. They all looked TERRIBLE on me. We knew what color we wanted, the sales person suggested some that would be more flattering on me, and we were done in under 2 hours.
My cousin got married in white, with her daughter acting as a flower girl (as well as a 12 month old can). And, um, she didn’t look washed out.
If you have to go alone, take lots of pictures of your dress and email them to people who you trust to be honest and tell you that your ass looks terrible in that one dress. Make sure you can actually move in your dress if you intend on dancing at your reception.
Make sure you know what you’re willing to spend on the dress, and don’t let the salesperson talk you out of it. Don’t even try on a dress that’s too expensive because then you might get your heart set on it and be eating Ramen Noodles for the next month and Phil might not appreciate that.
If it makes you feel any better, your wedding updates make me feel better about my complete apathy towards planning a wedding. I thought every girl grew up planning out her dream wedding, but I just want to elope to Vegas over a long weekend.
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By Dzargul on Nov 20, 2009
I just wanted to post to say that I’m a man and I know my limits. I’m not even going to address this. Not even to be constructive. I’ve been married before, and this conversation is one that men CANNOT possibly be constructive in.
…We have limits. This is one of them.
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By Simetra on Nov 20, 2009
At first glance, I like the strapless one. I’m not big on beaded dresses. But my opinion should not be trusted since I still don’t get the big deal about weddings and all the expensive things that go with them.
Tell me more about your Tom Hanks Theory. I too suffer from too-many-options, don’t-know-where-to-start paralysis.
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By Firespirit on Nov 20, 2009
LOL TJ!
It really sounds like you need a gay guy with fashion sense to help you out.
Come on, everyone knows one. And, yes, I know that it is a stereotypical response. But, dammit, it is stereotypical FOR A REASON!
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By Mikey on Nov 20, 2009
http://www.myweddingideas.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Wedding_Dress.jpg
HA HA! Phil will love it…don’t know about the parents though or the preacher for that matter.
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By Lara on Nov 20, 2009
I am a horrible decision maker, and suffer from the same syndrome you do. Sometimes things just go away if I ignore them long enough and that is AWESOME.
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By Phil on Nov 20, 2009
Step 1: Take a deep breath.
Step 2: Jump.
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By shriek house on Nov 20, 2009
I agree with everyone who says to just go try some on. Even if you pore endlessly over every magazine, what you find in the stores won’t necessarily be what you see in the ads anyway. Just bring water and a protein bar. Those wedding dress salesladies always seem to confuse the whole process with a marathon or something.
That said, I like the “this jobber” one best. The silvery color is so… uh…. silvery. I like silvery. Do you like silvery?
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By Shin Ae on Nov 20, 2009
I agree with all the others who said to just go and try some on, too. You’ll start getting an idea of what you like. Also, have a look at some bridal magazines and you could narrow it down a little that way, too. I don’t mean pick your dress from the magazine, but look and say, “I like this aspect of this dress,” and, “I hate this.” Also, maybe if you start in a tiny shop there won’t be as many to try on so you won’t feel like you’re trapped in there forever.
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By Becky on Nov 20, 2009
First, tell your mom what a guy who worked at the bridal shop told my mom when they were shopping for my sister’s dress: this is a lot of money you are spending. You need to tell someone if it looks bad (or even just “not great.”). You don’t do anyone any favors by holding back. I think it was really valuable advice, because then she was able to help me (I have a tendency to not have any idea what looks good on me).
Also, I 32nd (or whatever) the idea of just going in and trying on a bunch of dresses. Let the salespeople pick some for you, and even if you hate the way they look on the hanger try them on. You never know.
Lastly, I too have big boobs and am not a “small” person. My dress was strapless and had a full skirt. The things that made it work were the structural support you already mentioned (that thing rested completely on my hips – my boobs weren’t holding it up at all), and a dropped waist. The lower waist made my torso look longer, and because the skirt was flairing out there anyway it didn’t look like I had a huge ass. At least I don’t think so. No one told me if it did. ;-)
Oh, and one more note – I would definitely try some of the off-whites and champagne colored dresses. They tend to be more flattering for us paler girls than the bright white.
This is one of those decisions that I don’t think you can really make in advance. You need to just go in open-minded. So you are in good shape. :)
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By Bellwether on Nov 21, 2009
The only real solution?
Naked wedding.
But I agree with having straps. You always fiddle with a strapless dress. Don’t agree with halter unless it has a thicker strap; thin straps ten to cut into the neck, not really provide support and just be an annoyance.
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By Llinkla on Nov 21, 2009
I think this dress is awesome because of the colors you can pick to go with it.
I wore something like this with my wedding with a lace shrug. My appendix ruptured 3 days before the wedding and my arms looked like I had been trying to inject myself with a magic marker from all the shots and IVs HAHA. It was a nice last minute change. Last minute choices are usually the ones that are best because you do not over think them and go with instinct instead.
Point is you still have some time so either go grab something you love and do not even look at it till the wedding so you dont scrutinize it to death OR wait till you find something that you just “know” is right.
Your wedding will be amazing either way! I wish you both (and all your furry babies) all the happiness in the world!
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Llinkla Reply:
November 21st, 2009 at 10:37 am
Ddint want to show the link sowwy for double posting!
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By Bernie on Nov 21, 2009
Yeah, yeah planning your wedding your whole life and you still haven’t picked out THE dress? That being the case I do have an answer. I mean what would be the point of commenting on a subject as dear to woman’s heart as her wedding dress without something constructive to say.
Okay here it is, let Phil pick the dress. I bet he could find you a wedding dress in the very first store. He would not have to look at 20 or more dresses before picking a dress.
Trust me on this, Phil makes good decisions, just look at his choice in women, let him pick the dress.
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By boomer on Nov 21, 2009
Echoing the recommendation that whatever you pick, make sure it’s comfortable. You’ll likely be in and out of vehicles and buildings with the dress (and shoes) on, and it’ll be one of those 20 hour days that feels like it went by in twenty minutes, but if you plan ahead for comfort, it will pay dividends after the ceremonies.
Another bit to consider is styling. You probably don’t want to pick something fresh off the runway, because your wedding photos are going to be around for a while, and a 2009-model dress in twenty or thirty years might be the new 80s wedding wear that we can spot in photos today. So consider something in a more classic style, with clean lines and a cut that you feel GOOD in.
And in case nobody else mentioned this in the thread: congratulations, again!
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By sara on Nov 21, 2009
I see that you have a ton of replies, so probably this has already been said, but I’m gonna go ahead and be a LAZY commenter… :oP
When I went dress shopping, I read all the magazines and websites, and chose a style I liked, then went to the store with the intention of getting that style. It was pointless. If you find a good store, the staff will be able to help you find a style that suits you (unlike the one I had in mind walking into the store – the guy took one look at the picture and said that it’d make me look fat, and when I tried one on, he was right…). Hopefully that’s something you get a sense of. Other than that, try on a crapton. I mean, try them all on. Find one you like? Put it in the “like” pile and try on some more. It’s tedious, but that’s how you find one that really fits you ~ emphasising the good bits, hiding the bad bits, reflecting your style and personality, and so on.
Good luck :o)
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Angie Reply:
November 21st, 2009 at 10:34 am
I wore jeans & a pony tail when we got married…we’re still married, my friends still put up with me, my family still talks to me & my kids only hate me some of the time.
My point, YOU know what you what you want your wedding to “feel” like, to mean (to both you & Phil & to your friends & family) – take THAT (maybe) hazy feeling/idea/concept dress shopping with you – don’t limit yourself – & I think you may be surprised at just how easy the end decision will be :D
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By Matt on Nov 21, 2009
Ok, I know you’re not looking for a decision, but that’s what you’re going to get from a guy.
I didn’t read all the comments, so this may have been said already.
I prefer the strapless one. I think the strapped v-cut just looks sloppy. And no matter your chest size a strapless works, you won’t be falling out.
And yes, no matter what, you will look wonderful and you will think that everything is a disaster.
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By Em on Nov 21, 2009
I’m getting married in May and just bought my dress a few months ago while I was visiting family. I went with a two-tone model: ivory and champagne. it’s a little more unique than just white. Also, I would go with some sort of strap.
And, um … that’s as far as I’ve gotten with any wedding planning, so when you start thinking about flowers, cakes, decor, a wedding theme (huh?), please share some thoughts. I have no f&cking clue!!
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By Anna on Nov 21, 2009
I didn’t plan it. I had looked at some magazines, because apparently when you get engaged that’s a cue for everyone you know to buy for you (or donate their already read) bridal magazines.
I just went. I knew I didn’t want a strapless gown. Strapless gowns make me look like a linebacker in a dress, and I didn’t want to have to be hitching the damn thing up or constantly adjusting the girls to keep it looking “nice” for pictures. I had enough other crap I’d be worrying about. Whether my dress had shifted half an inch and I was now sporting quadro-boob wasn’t something I was interested in.
Oddly, “I Will Not Wear A Strapless Gown” said firmly and strongly to the lovely helpful people helping me pick dresses? Narrowed down my selection so much that it made the whole process easier. That was my only rule, and it ended up being the only rule I needed.
Other thing? (And I’m sure you know this already) There is no Bridal Rule of Buy This Now. Go with people you like and trust, don’t get talked into buying something you’re unsure about, and just try things on. Some of them will be laughably bad – I remember a dress that made me look like a fat barbie doll stuck in a poorly iced cupcake – but there was nothing lost for having tried it on, and now I, my mom, and my best friend have a really fun dress shopping story to laugh about!
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By Tufva on Nov 21, 2009
Don’t bother with lists or photos or what-not. Get thee to Ye Olde Bridal Shoppe. Try on at least one of each of the main shapes (ballgown skirt, A-line skirt, mermaid, empire cut, princess cut, strapless, with sleeves etc) and if possible several versions of white. I found that to be the only way to get a clue about what actually suited me both for colour and style (being that I, like you, haven’t worn any ‘proper’ dresses since my graduation ball).
Like others have said, the less of a preconceived notion you have, the easier it will be. Try everything and you will quickly be able to write some stuff off straight away whilst others that you might not have expected will make you feel really pretty.
1) It has to make YOU feel pretty
2) It has to be comfortable – you’ll be wearing it all day, standing, dancing, laughing, eating (and the closer to the wedding you get it, the less likely you will end up not quite fitting into it like I did…) :-)
I ended up with something completely not what I thought I would buy – but I loved it!
Best of luck!!
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By Imalinata on Nov 21, 2009
When I got married I had no idea what I wanted. Something pretty (duh) and preferably with an a-line or ballgown skirt, but aside from that I had no clue at all. And sadly, something pretty isn’t very descriptive when the various stores all think that ALL of their dresses are pretty.
Um…not so much.
Anyway, since I was buying a couple bridal magazines for flower/color suggestions, one of them supposedly had a compendium of the various styles of dresses available that season (it was mostly adds, not fashion plates of the different styles sadly). After wondering why it is that all wedding dress models look absolutely miserable, I basically went through the pictures and circled what I liked: that top, that neckline, that waist, that skirt, oh god no not the bows, etc etc). And then when I went to the shops to try on dresses, I told the gal helping me what I liked (a-line, etc) and what I thought I liked (corset tie in the back), what I absolutely hated (mermaid dress, lots of bows) and told her to pick out other dresses she thought would suit me since this was her job and not mine.
Oh, and once you find a dress that you like, still go to another couple of shops just in case. Considering how much money the damn things cost, it’s worth the time to make sure that the dress you think is the most “OMG amazing dress ever” actually is.
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By Karen on Nov 21, 2009
What I find helpful is to think about what I normally like to wear, what I normally think looks good. I love the way strapless looks on other people, but it sucks on me. I never wear strapless shirts. So a strapless dress would be a no-go for me. What do you usually wear when you want to look good? Do you like shirts/dresses that hook behind your neck, do you like square necklines or scoop, etc? It won’t give you an exact dress, but it’ll help you narrow it down. Then when you go to a bridal shop you can say, I’m looking specifically for dresses with….. And yes, its annoying to go try on dresses, but it will help you narrow it down by figuring out what styles you hate, and which you like.
And don’t go alone… like some other people have said, take someone with you who will tell you the flat-out truth.
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By Ellie on Nov 21, 2009
I really like the first one. But in my Relationships for Life class, we are actually planning weddings right now for our term project! It’s not going well… most of the people in that class are potheads or mentally challenged.
But from what I’ve learned so far, the most important thing for dress-hunting would be keeping your budget in mind. Then, do you want to rent a dress, or buy one? Also, I wouldn’t let someone pick it for you. Make sure it’s one you truly like, one that will make you feel special and of course, one that is comfortable. You wouldn’t want to be uncomfy during your wedding, lol.
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By Carrie on Nov 22, 2009
This is me being totally un-helpful. I eloped to Vegas, so I didn’t go through any of this “planning” stuff. I went to Sears and looked through the dresses they had there at the time. There was one white dress there, they happened to have my size. That’s all there was to it. I didn’t even buy my own veil, I borrowed someone else’s.
I had never planned my wedding out in my head either. It honestly made things easier, because there was no pre-conceived idea rendered impossible by our timing or choice of venue. It was special just for what it was. And that was enough. :)
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By Tristan on Nov 22, 2009
Go for this one :)
http://www.uglydress.com/helkitweddre.html
Jokes!
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By ZombiePirateXXX on Nov 23, 2009
You could always avoid the decision and have a Betazoid style wedding to satisfy the inner nerd in everyone, of course, you probably then wouldn’t b e putting pictures of that around the house or sending them to friends etc… Still, yo’d save a few bucks from dress buying and tux rental.
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By Mel on Nov 23, 2009
Thing one, that Alfred Angelo dress is absolutely gorgeous! So feminine and flowy, I love it. Too bad i could never pull of something like that.
Thing two, I’m horrible with decisions and whenever there are too many options put in front of me I tend to stick to what I know. Which I think is actually good advice in this case – stick to what you know works for you. Is strapless a good look for you, or do you need some sort of strap/sleeve? Answering questions like that will help you narrow it down greatly. (Someone very likely may have already said this, I just didn’t have time to read through 93 comments. Aren’t you miss popular?) :)
I can’t wait to see what you pick!
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By Evea on Nov 27, 2009
Dress shopping is very hard, and I found when I went that trying on everything is the only way to go. Go for something that is not fitted around the hips. This will hide some lumps in in a pretty way. Strapless can be bad if you have that lovely lump of fat near the armpit. So it can be done, but carefully. The little off the shoulder straps work great for covering that. Good luck!
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By Nichole on Dec 4, 2009
Way late on this, but coming from someone who also has a “shelf”, you’ll probably be happier with dresses in similar styles to the first dress. It might accentuate them more, but it shouldn’t be overpowering.
I think we have a similar shape (short, boobs and no ass) and when I tried on dresses like the 2nd one, I looked like a pregnant hooker. Which is cool and all if you’re a engaged pregnant hooker, but it just wasn’t what I was going for.
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