Dark Horse

February 24th, 2009 | by TJ |

I’ve talked a bunch on this blog about my sister, and how funny she is, and I rarely mention my brother. Like I said yesterday, I don’t really feel I know him all that well, and every time I see him, I’m surprised.

One, he’s way taller than I ever remember. Like I said, I moved out when he was 10 and I was stealing his shoes to wear, and now he’s over 6 feet tall and I could use his shoes to go waterskiing. Also, he doesn’t talk much at all. He really only speaks when he has something to say. Which makes it all the more shocking when what he has to say is hilarious.

While we were at my parents’ house on Christmas Day, I went upstairs to take a quick shower and left Phil with my brother. Apparently, they actually spoke to each other. At length. Everyone in my family was shocked that my brother sat down and actually held a conversation with someone. A stranger, no less. And Phil came back with reports of my brother’s chronically masturbating deaf roommate at college.

Anyway, for years, my sister and I, being so close in age, have amused each other and had a brother much younger than both of us trailing behind. I suppose a lot of our sense of humor is either hereditary or rubbed off, though, because now, at nearly 19, he’s pretty much caught up. The fact that he rarely talks, though, combined with the fact that the last time I spent any significant amount of time around him, poop jokes were the hegith of hilarity for him (not that they’re not still funny, but you know what I mean), makes it doubly surprising whenever he says something funny.

My mother, father and sister are coming down to visit me on Friday, for the weekend, to see me one more time before I head off across the country and coming home to visit isn’t as simple as a 4 hour drive and crashing in my parents’ guestroom for a weekend. My brother is coming home for spring break that same week, but is trying to figure out if his wisdom teeth need to come out, and when he’s going to see his girlfriend in Philadelphia, and if he’s going to be able to make it down here with my parents or come down later in the week on his own, or see me at all.

In order to straighten this out, I politely asked him if he’d be visiting (translation: I left a comment on his facebook page “ARE YOU COMING TO SEE ME OR WHAT ASSPANDA”), and he was kind enough to respond via comment on my facebook page.

Step 1. get wisdom tooth thing figured out
2. print out directions
3. realize I have to pay for all the gas
4. drive to philly
5. start back home
6. come to senses and start heading towards your house
7. arrive at your house
8. knock on door
9. run away
10. do a barrel roll

So, Internet… is that a yes?

4 Responses to “Dark Horse”

  1. By Brierley on Feb 24, 2009

    I would read that as a “I will try”.
    I would also add that the paying for the gas comment from my sister would basically mean “If I do come over you better feed me!”
    I think there is a good chance your brother may visit.

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  2. By Shawn on Feb 24, 2009

    I think the “do a barrel roll” makes it a yes.

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  3. By Awlbiste on Feb 24, 2009

    DO A BARREL ROLL!

    (That means yes.)

    [Reply]

  4. By Andy C. on Feb 25, 2009

    I think the Flip should be used (in addition to sisterly insistence) to document said “barrel roll”. Remind him, if necessary, that Tom Cruise did some in Top Gun. If Cruise can, I’m sure your brother can.

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