Point six six six six repeating of the way to the big zero one.
January 9th, 2012 | by TJ |Hey! Penny is eight months old! A while ago! But she’s not nine months old yet, so… victory!
So, my daughter. What a delightful little asshole she is. Let me tell you about her.
Words: None.
Movement: Can still only roll back to belly. No locomotion.
Teeth: Two!
Firsts: Christmas. Plane rides. Waves.
Loves: Riding in the shopping cart, obvs. Collecting adoration from retirees in the Commissary.
We shop a lot, okay?
Food-based likes: Noodles, apples, bananas, puffs, waffles, banana toast, broccoli, chicken noodle soup, chili, whatever you are eating right now what’s that you got there I want it.
Music-based likes: The Rocky Theme, 90s summer hits, anything with the word “Penny” in it, any song that can be altered to be about Penny. Dashboard Confessional.
Hates: Having her nose touched.
Annoying features: The two fisted punch of teething and travel-related sleep disturbances. Weird raspberry/spitting thing.
Weird-ass features: Squawks. Shrieks. Shakes with excitement over just about anything, but mostly approaching food. Bounces while laying on her back or while being held. I don’t know, you’ve got to see this shit to believe it. She’s an odd one, this Penelope.
Finds hilarious: Fake sneezes. When an adult mimics her weird-ass bouncing. Sheldon. Attempts to “eat her belly.” Weird jokes that only she understands.
Finds terrifying: Other babies.
Anyway, Penny hasn’t really made any super developments over her last month. We were really busy with the holidays, of course, and she did great. She was perfectly content to be passed around strangers and was a champion flyer. She cleaned up at Christmas, gift-wise, and loves every single present equally. So she thinks. I have not yet broken out the parachute.
I’ve thought this before, but I think it again this last month – it seems like we’re really figuring this stuff out. She started out this shrieking mystery of unnamed needs, but at this point, we know at a glance what’s up with her. We know when she’s tired, when she wants to eat, how much she’ll probably eat, how to calm her down, how to put her to sleep, how to handle her in public, how to distract her when she’s about to lose her mind, how to make her laugh, how to entertain her. It wasn’t that many months ago that I didn’t think that any of that would ever be possible.
I know that eventually we’ll hit some terrible phases, but at the moment, we continue on the uphill climb that started when she started smiling. Which she still does. All the time.
And she also waves, which is hilarious, because while at first it looked like she was waving “hi” and “bye” appropriately, now it seems she waves to signal that she’s tired or cranky or wound up. She definitely waves, she just doesn’t exactly get when she’s supposed to.
She also recognizes Phil as “daddy,” but hasn’t quite put together yet that I’m “mama.” I don’t really refer to myself that way – you know, “Mama’s here,” or “Mama’s got you,” or “Mama is going to put you in the closet if you don’t can it.” I probably should, but while I talk to her ALL DAY LONG, talking in that way doesn’t really come too naturally to me. Phil’s great at talking to her and playing with her and reading to her. I, on the other hand, basically talk to her all day like she’s a girlfriend come to visit and hang out while I do laundry. She’ll probably call me “Hey.”
Whatevs. That’s fine. We know we’re buds, and that’s what counts.
You know what month eight really was? The month it started boggling us how different she’s become. We can’t believe it. We say, “Remember when she… ” and “Remember how she looked when… ”
It’s not that she’s gotten so big, exactly. It’s more like… was she really ever that SMALL?
Can no longer be counted on to just LEAVE THAT BEAR ALONE FOR TWO SECONDS I JUST NEED TO TAKE ONE PICTU– COME ON!
Tags: babies, babies and the shopping carts they live in, main reason for my disappearance from the earth, names I call my baby, oh man wait til I tell you guys about Christmas, she ate and or shared an entire eggo with the dogs while I wrote this, songs about babies named Penny, the Penny sensation sweeping the nation, unbearable cuteness, yeah an eggo not even an organic one want to make something of it
By Jesabes on Jan 9, 2012
I cannot WAIT to meet her.
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By MegglesP on Jan 9, 2012
God who would eat an organic Eggo? Penny is so awesome. I can’t wait to meet her next month!
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By Caroline on Jan 9, 2012
Ooooh Penny is so cute! That purple hat is adorable. That is what she is going to look back on in 15 years and ask why the hell you put that on her head.
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By Life of a Doctor's Wife on Jan 9, 2012
She sounds even more delightful than those pictures lead you to believe!
She is terrified of other babies? Did she meet a bunch of scary babies over the holidays?
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By Jess on Jan 9, 2012
“Mommy” took longer for Callum to understand than “Daddy” for that same reason, because I talked about Daddy a lot, but Torsten wasn’t as good about mentioning Mommy. HOWEVER. He DID eventually learn what they both meant, AND he said “Mama” before he said “Dada” SO THERE.
Callum waves now, but half the time he gets distracted when he starts to wave and ends up clapping instead. He claps a lot. Only very recently has he demonstrated any understanding that clapping is an expression of happiness and excitement rather than just an all-purpose thing to do whenever you’re trying to express anything at all.
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Kammah Reply:
January 9th, 2012 at 3:25 pm
So the daycare that I used to go to waaaaaay back in the day called my mom in one day and asked, “Are you…not Kammah’s mom? Because she calls you Sheri.”
Yup. Papa was “papa” to me because that’s what mom called him. Mom was “Sheri” because that’s what papa called her.
I still don’t really think my mom has forgiven me totally for that.
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By Brooke on Jan 9, 2012
I snorted at, “what a delightful little asshole she is,” and my coworker said “bless you.” Good work.
You forgot “reducing pickle spears to warm slime” in the Likes section. And also, “Brooke.” This is notable because I used to be on the Dislikes.
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By Meghan on Jan 9, 2012
I think my favorite tag is that last eggo one. INTERNET BAIT!
But seriously, you have an adorable baby and even through the Internet she seems pretty damn awesome.
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By pgoodness on Jan 9, 2012
She is absolutely adorable.
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By Elsha on Jan 9, 2012
The adorableness, it is killing me!
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By Kellie on Jan 9, 2012
Her toes….oh goodness, they are ADORABLE! Kelly, she’s getting to be such a big girl – I’m glad she’s coming into her own little personality :)
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By Diane on Jan 9, 2012
THE RASPBERRY SPITTING THING WHAT IN THE HELL WHY ARE THEY DOING THAT I AM ALWAYS DAMP
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By Cindylo on Jan 9, 2012
I remember watching some show – no recollection of name or context, but the only thing I remember was that the baby called the dad “Not the Mama.” He would tell the baby. “No, I’m Daddy.” And the baby would point to him and say “Not the Mama.” I don’t know where I am going with this, I just loved the reference when thinking of how babies think of us parents.
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TJ Reply:
January 9th, 2012 at 6:23 pm
Dinosaurs!
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By Susan on Jan 9, 2012
She is such a HAPPY baby !! My favoriye, is she will call you “Hey” :)
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By Superjules on Jan 9, 2012
Your baby is ridiculously cute.
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By Carrie on Jan 9, 2012
I was having a bad sad night and that purple hat made me smile so thank you for sharing your lovely daughter with the internet.
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By Rachael on Jan 10, 2012
I am pretty sure this is the perfect description of children:
“What a delightful little asshole she is.”
Also, I am interested in how you’re feeding her because I went to a talk a couple of years ago by a woman who wrote a book called ‘Real Food’ then another called ‘Real Food for Mother & Baby.’ One of her main points was basically that pureed baby food is not necessary, that babies are really good at not choking, and that you can give them soft things or small pieces of things from the beginning because they are people. It was quite interesting, and made me feel a little bit justified (as if I need to explain myself to anyone…?) in feeding my kids a lot of table food as babies.
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By Alex on Jan 11, 2012
The smiles! Amazing.
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