Written some time ago, when I used to eat breakfast.

June 10th, 2007 | by TJ |

You know how there’s a granola bar that is the official granola bar of the PGA tour? (If you didn’t – there is, trust me. I eat one for breakfast every morning).

And you know how there’s all this ‘official _________ of the 2004 olympics’ or whatever?

I suppose they get a contract or a sponsership and someone can call their product the offical whatever of whatever.

Fine. I mean, I don’t really care if all the PGA golfers eat my granola bars. It doesn’t sway my opinion. I enjoy them mightily without knowing that TIGER WOODS MAY ALSO BE EATING ONE AT THAT VERY SECOND!!

But I was just watching a commercial for Bally’s Total Fitness and they called themself the ‘Official Gym of Summer.’

Who do you think they had to contact for that? I mean, does summer even have representation? An agent? A management team or a publicity firm?

If not, don’t you think Bally’s is being a little bold, speaking in behalf of summer like that?

Personally, I would think that, if asked, Summer would say something like this to it’s publicity rep:

Gym? This GYM is saying it’s MY official gym? What the fuck! Look. No, seriously, list– LISTEN to me. I want you to call this Bally’s… call them RIGHT NOW and tell them to stop acting like I want ANYTHING at all to do with them. And then… then, OH this is really good… then when you’re done with that, I want you to send out a press release to the world at large. Have it say something like this. To… everyone. No, No… TO THE WORLD. Re: The Official Gym of Summer. TAKE YOUR LAZY ASSES OUTSIDE. Thank you, Summer.

2 Responses to “Written some time ago, when I used to eat breakfast.”

  1. By The Redhead on Jun 11, 2007

    Actually, I think “The Official Gym of Summer” is really just shorthand for “Why don’t you come on in here and work off a pound or 50 so that you won’t be too humiliated to squeeze your tree-trunk-sized thighs into weather appropriate clothing now that it’s summer. Fatass.”

    Just a thought.

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  2. By bob the goat on Jun 12, 2007

    I often laugh at the “official beer of Nascar”. Seriously, then they have the GAULL to tell us drinking and driving is bad. THE BEER IS THE OFFICAL BEER OF PEOPLE THAT ARE PAID TO DRIVE VERY FAST!!!!!

    [Reply]

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