What is wrong with your HEAD?
July 28th, 2009 | by TJ |Before I moved here, I didn’t watch too much TV. I didn’t spend any time at all in the living room of my old house, and I never bothered to hook my own television up except to play game cube or watch the very occasional DVD before I had a computer with a DVD drive. Now that I’m here, there are TVs in every room, and I very much look forward to my daily Sabrina the Teenage Witch/Full House/What I Like About You 3 hour sitcom bonanza at 11am every day.
Of course, then there is Burn Notice, but that’s about the only respectable show I watch. I like to try to catch Reba and that new ABC Family show, Make it or Break It. Then there’s Bridezillas and Ace of Cakes, What Not to Wear, The Nanny, Family Matters, King of the Hill, Futurama, and all those medical and forensics shows I like to watch. I’m not really sure what all goes on in prime time on the network stations, since all I watch is reruns of horrible shows, mostly.
However, watching only reruns can’t save you from the commercials, and there is one commercial that, instead of getting used to it, is disturbing me more and more every time I see it. The Palm Pre commercial.
There is something wrong with that girl. Something is just not right with her head. At first I thought it was due to the fact that they slicked her hair back in a way that doesn’t look good on anyone. Or the fact that they shot it so close up. But no, no, those aren’t it.
The way she talks – it’s weird. Only her lips move. The rest of her face is completely immobile. And she talks like we’re supposed to understand what she’s rambling on about, but it sounds like a heap of crazy, with jugglers and how they relate to her cell phone in that one commercial and then the whole “bing bing bing” in the other. And she looks like her skin is brand new – not well taken care of, but I mean like, brand new, just put it on, right out of the package. There’s no make up so all of her generic features blend right into her face.
It’s hard to put into words exactly what it is about her that is so off, though I tried to above. I just can’t put my finger exactly on it. So I’ve been spending some time thinking about it and I’ve come up with the following points:
- Unfortunate hairstyle – almost as if she has no idea what is flattering or in fashion
- Brand new skin – like it was applied to her, just that day
- No facial expression – I am familiar with this one, as without deliberate intent, I lack facial expression myself. Obviously she has no clue this weirds people out.
- Talking crazy – connecting words and ideas that have no business being connected – some would say ad copy, but who would write such a dumb commercial if they actually wanted to sell the product? And who even SAYS “bing bing bing,” ever? I challenge you to find me one person who has legitimately said “bing bing bing” when not talking about cherries.
Looking at all the evidence, Internet, I think that the answer is clear.
We are obviously dealing with some kind of pod-typer person, sent to take over the world through television, our biggest weakness.
Ok, well, maybe tht isn’t exactly true, and maybe it IS just a commercial, but come ON. You have to agree that there is just SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT WOMAN AND HER WEIRD HEAD.
Don’t forget – you have until 10AM PST today to enter the contest to win an 18×24″ digitially printed poster of the picture of your choosing. Enter here. Hooray!
By Phil on Jul 28, 2009
… She IS creepy.
I bet she’s an android, from somewhere deep in space. A scout for a larger race of robots that wish to enslave us all.
…
or she’s just weird, I’ll have to flip a coin.
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By Bernie on Jul 28, 2009
I also was disturbed by that ad now I know why. Television is a virtual wasteland between the hours of 12:30 and 5:00 pm and I have no Idea why. I mean it is so insipid that it is not worth leaving on for background noise during the day. Back in the days before cable/sattelite TV there was nothing on then during those hours and I jumped for joy at the prospect of getting 75/100 channels surely there would be something to watch at those times. WRONG still a wasteland only larger.
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By john the diver on Jul 28, 2009
TJ you are so wrong. She is obviously not a pod person, she is like model 001 of the new Palm super robot! They are self aware and are on the verge of “Protecting mankind” into oblivion! compile your weapons cache, the robot apocalypse is neigh!
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By Susie on Jul 28, 2009
“No facial expression – I am familiar with this one, as without deliberate intent, I lack facial expression myself. Obviously she has no clue this weirds people out.”
I also suffer from this… It spells absolute disaster when candid photos are taken. People tend to assume I am angry or bored all the time, because I’m totally devoid of expression if I’m not somehow emotionally engaged.
and yeah, she’s totaly creepy. A few loose strands of hair would have done wonders for making her look less alien…
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By JdJdJd on Jul 28, 2009
I totally just assumed she was CGI.
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By Kes on Jul 28, 2009
Actually, the first time I saw her she actually reminded me a ALOT of Macaulay Culkin. Like, her face, the way she talks, and her facial expression (or lack thereof).
And personally, I’ve always found him a little creepy too. Especially on that now-cancelled show Kings.
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By caroline on Jul 28, 2009
Oh my god, I thought it was just me. That woman will haunt my nightmares.
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By john the diver on Jul 29, 2009
Here is an update for you TJ, in the new Pre ad, she admits she is crazy, just before she says her pre can read her mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–Y3zasKbb0&feature=player_embedded
Robots are crazy now, just one small step away from mass genocide!
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By Steve on Jul 29, 2009
I was thinking CGI or hyper-realistic robot. It’s just unnerving when she faces the camera directly, because if you let your eyes gently lose focus, she appears bald. Add that to your list!
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By Turtlechelle on Jul 29, 2009
I am so glad that’s not just me, and would like to add that her voice sounds oddly disembodied and creeps me out tremendously.
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By Ebby on Jul 30, 2009
You know….she looks an awful lot like the Borg Queen, doesn’t she?
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By Osethme on Jul 31, 2009
I think the lack of makeup mixed with her eyelashes and eyebrows being blonde (and almost exactly the same color as her skin), and therefor not all that noticeable, is what does it. It’s disconcerting to see a face with no eyelashes or eyebrows, even if it’s just that they’re not noticeable.
And the complete lack of movement when she speaks.
And the shiny-new skin. All around weird.
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By Nej on Jul 31, 2009
One word. Botox
Oh, and one more….disturbing.
:-)
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By lolavavoom on Jul 31, 2009
I am SO glad you pointed her out. I hated her from the moment I saw her. Personally, what weirds me out is her total lack of eyelashes.
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By Dara on Jul 31, 2009
She is totally creepy. I think it is because she is in the “uncanny valley” between human and robot. Yick. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley
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By Spork in the Road on Aug 5, 2009
I work in advertising and this doesn’t work for me from an ad-man perspective either. The character seems to be taunting you, which is only heightened with the fact she is utterly un-relatable.
“You ever have one of those days where everything just goes your way?” NO, I HAVEN”T!!!
And finally, her movement and position is completely stilted and unnatural, probably the source of most of the CGI and robot comments here. I don’t disagree. No real human moves like that. I hope Palm decides to put some humanity in their next ads. And that’s it for my two cents.
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By E on Aug 5, 2009
I was having the same conversation inside my head last night while watching reruns of Family Matters — you are NOT alone sister!
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By Rob on Aug 25, 2009
Just wanted to post how much I hate Arizona. Arizona has two seasons. FUCK ITS HOTTER THAN FUCKING HELL. And NOT SUMMER.
NOT SUMMER lasts about 3 months, from December to February. Not summer is a very nice time to visit Arizona and see the Grand canyon. Seriously, there is’nt much else to see there, unless you like cacti.
My whole family lives in Arizona, and i lived there for almost 10 years. Have fun.
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