About 10 minutes ago, driving in to work, I was stopped at a stop light. I had my window down, as I always do, since one, I smoke in the car, and two, I drive a car not much bigger than a double wide coffin and I think I’d develop a crippling case of claustrophobia if I didn’t.
So, stopped at the light, looking around and stretching a bit, as you do, and the guy to the car in my left waves to me and smiles. I kind of half smile back and then quickly turn my face back to the front, because I don’t really want to encourage these guys.
Honestly guys, what are you thinking when you do this? It doesn’t happen too often, I admit it, but maybe once every couple of weeks, once a month, a guy waves at me from his car, smiles, sometimes yells something out the window or attempts to strike up a traffic conversation. Is traffic really an appropriate place to try to meet a girl? And at 6:30 in the morning, when my eyes are half open? Really, what is your motivation for flirting with girls in their cars at a red light? Are you holding out hope that I’m going to abandon my vehicle and get in yours? Or maybe you’ll get my number. “Oh, sure it’s 57… green light! *zooooooooom*” Really, I just don’t see the practicalities here.
Also, I think I am either a lot like most females, or else a complete oddball, but even though I’m single, there do exist times I just don’t want to be spoken to. Can’t we have some kind of rules, or zones or something? You know how like animals during mating season give off certain signals that they’re totally down for it? Can we have certain areas that men and women open to being hit on, flirted with, etc, can enter into to signify that your approach would not be unwelcome? Because frankly, most of the time in my normal day to day life, I am out and about getting crap done and really don’t want to be talked to. At all. Period. Just… don’t speak to me. But if I wanted to strike up conversations with randoms, I could maybe wear a bright red “Perv on me, please” pin, or possibly enter into some kind of corrall with all the other, more friendly singles.
Wait, what? Oh, right. So, I turn my face back to the front and stare straight ahead in a determined fashion, but then, I hear him speaking. I peeked a little bit out of the corner of my eye, to hopefully assure myself I was mistaken without re-making eye contact, but alas, his window was down, and as much as I talk big to the internet, I can rarely bring myself to be a bitch for no good reason to a stranger. So, I turned down the music and looked back to the left.
Guy In Car: It’s not that cold today!
TJ: Umm nope!
Guy In Car: Nice day, nice day. How are you today?
TJ: I’m fine thanks, how are you? [please keep in mind, I am leaving out all the "Hm? What did you say?" that occurred - we were in TRAFFIC. Yet another reason to not talk to someone in the next car over - you have to repeat yourself a lot.]
Guy In Car: Thank God for that, that’s good to hear!
TJ: Mmmhm… thoughts: Come ooooon green light! My Kingdom for a green light!
Guy In Car: Just another day for work!
Guy In Car: Well, you have a blessed day! You look gooood this morning. God be with you!
TJ: You… too…
Guy In Car: Bye bye!
And, keeping in mind we’re still parked at a RED LIGHT, he pulls forward 6 inches.
There’s ANOTHER good reason against making traffic conversation – no graceful exit.
Now, you could easily say, “TJ, maybe the guy wasn’t hitting on you. Maybe he was just being friendly. Stop being such a conceited bitch!” Ok, fine, that’s a valid argument, but normal people do not strike up conversations with other people in traffic. It’s just not done. Not by sane people. You know who strikes up conversations in traffic? Two kinds of people. One, people who are hitting on you. Two, people who want to bury you in their basement. Either way, I feel that I am safely in the right in discouraging such behavior.
SO ANYWAY. I peeked over at his car, our windows were no longer aligned as well, so I very slowly and politely as possible re-raised the volume of my music and went back to listening to Save Ferris.
Couple seconds later, I hear him again. You have to be kidding me. So I turn down the music. Again.
Guy In Car: I want to listen to my CD!
TJ: Ok… I’ll turn mine down… *turns down music more, God only knows why*
Guy In Car: This is my CD! *turns up music*
TJ: *hears nothing but thumping bass* Oh, that’s all right.
Guy In Car: What?
TJ: I said, that’s all right.
Guy In Car: Thanks. Well, you have a blessed day. God be with you. Look good!
TJ: Thanks… thoughts: yessss green LIGHT!
Thankfully, possibly having learned from his awkward exit attempt earlier, Guy In Car took a healthy lead in front of me, and though we both made the same left, he sped up enough and I slowed down enough that he was nowhere in sight when I turned the corner towards my office. If he had been, I probably would have circled the block for a while.
Anyway, I had a point.
Stop talking to me in public. Everyone! Period!