Twitter, we need to talk
October 13th, 2009 | by TJ |Now, normally, I don’t do two posts in one day for several reasons, the main one being that I don’t want you all get EXPECTATIONS of multiple blog posts per day, because if there is anything I excel at, it is not living up to expectations.
Also, I rarely had ideas, and if I cram too many of them into one day, I have none left for the other days. Kind of like the same thing I tell myself when I want to eat two ice cream sandwiches in the same day.
But anyway, Twitter, we need to talk.
And please realize that while I’m addressing this post to Twitter, which is not a person but a thing, and thus has no real feelings, I am really talking to you. The people. And by “you,” I mean some very specific ones of you.
(Twitter, if you do have feelings, I’m sorry if this hurt them. I’m not talking to you.)
So anyway, Twitter (not Twitter, see above), you’ve got this new feature built in that a lot of people initially complained about. When someone makes an @ reply to someone that I do not follow, I do not see that reply. This keeps me from seeing a large number of Tweets that those I follow post. But it does allow me to see conversations between those whom I follow. At first, this WAS an annoying feature. However, most people have come to appreciate seeing only conversations that they have indicated are of interest to them.
A lot of people, Twitter, work around this little built in feature, by putting punctuation or other things in front of their @ replies, which makes them show up in everyone’s timeline, even if they are responding to someone that no one else follows.
This does a couple of things:
1. Fills my Twitter feed with half conversations, and
2. Annoys the shit out of me.
I can only think of a few reasons why people may do this.
1. They think that people truly enjoy half conversations, or
2. They think that every single thing they say is of such importance that their followers don’t want to miss any of it, even if it is a conversation that is only relevant to the people actually having it, or
3. They have a pinky twitch that their period button is constantly getting in the way of, or
4. Do not think I have the mental capacity to decide who I follow, and are thus trying to help me out by showing me who THEY talk to, assuming I would, of course, appreciate their hamfisted assistance, or
5. THEY ARE TRYING TO RUIN MY LIFE.
Twitter, if you allow this to happen because of reasons 1 or 2, please understand that you are SO SO SO MISTAKEN. If this happens because of reason 3, I find that EXTREMELY HARD TO BELIEVE. And if it happens because of reason 4, it’s not like I come around your house and put mayonnaise on your french fries, you know?
And if it happens because of reason 5, so help me God, Twitter, you are my sworn nemesis for the rest of my life.
In seriousness, though, seriously.
Stop that. You are RUINING my LIFE.
(In case that wasn’t clear, I totally wasn’t talking to Twitter itself.)
By jonniker on Oct 13, 2009
Okay, so once? That period feature created the world’s most awkward situation ever. As in, I cringe just thinking about it. And now, let me share it with you:
So, it’s right before BlogHer, and there were apparently awards being given out, and during the course of a conversation between two people I follow, one of them said something about being up for an award. And though it was clear that they were talking about THEMSELVES, something in that wording led the OTHER person to think that they were talking about THEM.
The person then Tweeted — using the fucking period feature whilst @-ing the person who mentioned the award and said, “Wha? I’m up for an award? HOW AWESOME!”
And then there was silence. An awkward silence, as you can imagine. Because now, thanks to the period, she made EVERYONE ON HER LIST (all fifty thousand of them or something awful) think she’d been up for an award. When really, she hadn’t been. And did not get it.
And then *I*, who cannot abide awkward situations, felt obligated to JUMP IN and CLARIFY and say no no, doll, SHE is up for an award. You are merely up for … I don’t know an award for Most Awkward Twitter Ever.
And herein ends the story of why I hate the fucking use of the period. It’s AWKWARD EVERY WAY YOU SLICE IT.
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By Kerri Anne on Oct 13, 2009
OMG, YES. I just! started noticing people doing this, and consequently just started wanting to punch some tweets in the ovaries.
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By Ebby on Oct 13, 2009
And this is known as the number 1 reason I will never EVER join Twitter or use it in any way, shape or form.
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By Awlbiste on Oct 13, 2009
Hey, I don’t think you are allowed to have that many nemesisis. Nemeses? Nemeses apparently.
I proudly stake my claim as #1 nemesis. If you dispute this claim I WILL BE EVEN MORE NEMESIS-Y.
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By Dechion on Oct 14, 2009
While I completely agree, and am in fact glad that I no longer have to listen to half conversations there is one thing that irks me more.
If someone that I don’t yet follow sends me a tweet @Dechion I don’t get it. These are folks that follow me that for reasons of my own laziness I have not followed back as of yet.
I understand that Twitter is trying to protect me from spambots, but I am a big boy. I can block them myself after the first tweet.
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By jonniker on Oct 14, 2009
Dechion: Uhh, you should get it. Just click on your “@ replies” page. It lists the responses of everyone who @’s you, whether you follow them or not.
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By Aunt Becky on Oct 14, 2009
I kind of want to punch twitter in the balls.
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By Lifes Crazy Joke on Oct 25, 2009
Pinky twitch. Awesome.
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By Anna on Nov 16, 2009
This didn’t used to bother me. It doesn’t always bother me either, since sometimes the thing mentioned is actually useful.
But when I went through and purged my twitter followers? NOW it bugs the shit out of me. I unfollowed those people for a #(*%ing reason, dammit, and I don’t want to have to see your inane responses to their trollish babble in my twitter.
GRRRRRRR.
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