Temerity Jane

Things that have happened

• I went to the store the other day, and the clerk was talking to the woman in front of me about what a nice day it was. As I stepped up to the counter, he goes “Oh, not such a nice day for you, huh?” Now, was he commenting on my expression, which I am used to (“I’m not sad, that’s just my FACE!”), or the fact that I was buying tampons? And am I sure I want to know?
• Along the lines of “I don’t write about Pie enough,” I don’t write about my best friend Jeff enough, either. We went to dinner the other night to catch up, after not having seen each other for a while since he’s still settling into his new routine at the police academy. As we were leaving, he was explaining about which hand was his gun hand and all, and I informed him, as I have many times, that I as I am sure he is aware, there is to be no bringing guns around me. He laughed, and I told him I would tell my mom on him. “I’ll shoot your mom!,” he says. Well now, that’s a bit of an overreaction, there, don’t you think!
• Guess who was at my office today? THIS GUY! I know, I know, I never finished the story, but here’s the short bit – on Wednesday he revealed in a really stupid, really idiotic way that he was married with a kid, and was surprised that I didn’t still want to go out with him. On Thursday, his extremely pregnant (with their SECOND child) wife called me in tears, so I told her everything. I really should write up the rest of that, this guy’s stupidity is something I had not seen before or since. Anyway, he was in my office building today, and he kind of SMILED at me. How dare he. I should have said “How’s the faaaaamily?,” but you know what I did instead? I went out the front door all day to smoke instead of my normal door and the front is like a wind tunnel and my skirt kept blowing up in the air and this lady in the lobby talked to me and now I’m donating blood on Friday afternoon. These people can smell it, I’m like the weak elephant separated from the herd. Or is it weak antelope? I don’t know, but whatever it is, check this out!
• Also, I’m not sure what’s going on here, but I saw the Golden Girls video they did here, and I at least know that as soon as I finish this, I am off to investigate.
• While I was home for Thanksgiving, I was sitting on the couch with my brother, and there was an incident, and he managed to tie the sleeves of my hoodie together. I don’t want to discuss it further than that.
• I went to Gruul’s, which is the one instance I have down with some confidence, and it went all dumb. I hadn’t raided in about 2 weeks, was excited to get going, and on the first attempt we had Olm completely evade bug, and on the second attempt, neither Doom nor I could get our enslaved fel stalkers to go where they were supposed to. They just did what they wanted. And the unexpected happening usually equals dead lock in my case. I would have been a terrible boy scout. Because of that ‘not prepared’ thing, though the vagina is also no small contributing factor.
• After Jeff threatened to shoot my mom (which was funny, in context, by the way) we got in his car. Well, his old car. His other car, he had to leave in Virginia, as it has oil in the radiator. The mechanic said he’d never seen such a thing before. So we get in Jeff’s old car, and he looks down at the odometer and sighs and says, “This car has 270,000 miles on it… almost as much as you.” (Insert glare from me here) “No? Not funny? I’ll shoot your mom!”
• I have my radio set to turn on to play a certain station that, while not a morning talk show like dumbass Elliot in the morning, does do the news, weather and traffic at the time my radio switches on, and this morning I awoke to hear some very heavy-voiced DJs saying “And I’m afraid we have the worst possible news.” So, you know, instantly I’m wide awake, right? Look, guys. It’s 6am, people are just waking up, and we live right outside Washington, DC. I understand one of the Redskins died. And that is very, very sad. Tragic even, completely honest here. But a little! more! consideration! with the use of the phrase “worst possible news.” Please!

Edited to add:

• I have investigated the link above. Obviously, I was sent there by some higher blogging power to find this video for Fio.