So I was leaving my house this morning, and I heard a rustling sound in the bushes next to the gate. I glanced over really quickly, but saw nothing.
So I started trudging down the sidewalk to my car, and over the sound of my dragging feet, I kept hearing this scuttling noise, but every time I looked over my shoulder – nothing.
Got in my car, headed down the road. I was at a stoplight, and, as usual, the street light above my head at this intersection went out just as I pulled under it. I think they’re on timers and stuff, but why does my commute always seem to be timed with their timers? I suspect this. So do my parents, actually. When I moved out, their my dad told me that they stopped going through so many lightbulbs. They tend to burn out when I turn things on. Anyway, whatever, but as I glanced over at the light, I swear I saw a fuzzy little arm sticking out from behind the pole.
I puzzled for a second, but then the light turned green, so off I went. I leave my house at 6:30 in the morning, otherwise known as “Still Dark Enough to be Sleeping” o’clock, and every time I glanced over at the median, I swear I saw something small running along there, keeping pace with my car. But that’s impossible, right? I wrote it off to reflections on the window from headlights and such.
I got to work and was gathering all my belongings to go inside (and as an aside, I did the same thing I do every day – carefully jam everything in my purse that I need, forget that I left my access card in the bottom of my purse, take everything back out, retrieve the card, put everything back in, and always forget something) and as I was doing this, movement outside the car caught my eye and I was immediately frozen in a panic.
It couldn’t be, there was just no way.
I took a shower before I left the house! A morning shower!
But just as I was twisting my head from side to side, peering out the windows, a piece of my wet hair slipped into my face and it all became clear.
Do you know what my new shampoo lump smells like?
I waited for the right moment, swung open the car door and took off like a shot for the building.
I got inside just in time, slamming the door (do you know how hard it is to slam one of those slow-closing doors?) right in the face of what I think was the boss of the rabid attack koalas, judging by his decorated little scabbard and jaunty little hat.
But seriously, guys.