There’s a me-shaped dent.
October 20th, 2008 | by TJ |I haven’t been feeling well. For a week. I live in these pants:
I am seriously contemplating wearing them to work. I only got out of bed this weekend for diet soda, food and to change my laundry, but I managed to put on jeans each of those times. Jeans hold no appeal to me right now. I want THESE pants. Phil bought them for me. I think they really bring out my… squirrels.
A long time ago, I decided that when I have my own home, in the kitchen, there’s going to be a big cannister on the counter, you know, like the ones people keep flour in or whatever, but pretty big. Inside, there would be something like… 6 bobby pins, a hammer, some superglue, raisins, a broken necklace, a couple of bottle caps, a lighter (the long ones you use to light candles), some nail polish remover, a belt cut into pieces, a set of headphones –
Ok, pause for a question from my alarm clock radio – In Benny and the Jets, is Elton John singing “She’s got electric boobs?” Because frankly, I just can’t hear it any other way, no matter what the real lyrics might be, though I do strongly suspect Electric Boobs.
Anyway, so where was I? Right. Headphones, and um… a bunch of those pull tabs from the tops of soda cans.
And the cannister would sit there on my kitchen counter, and on the outside would be written “SCRATCH.”
And I would MAKE things from it.
So, important news is being waited for. It’s supposed to take something like 6 to 8 weeks to receive this news, but it could happen as soon as a week. There has been a lot of this going on lately:
TJ: How about now?
Phil: No.
TJ: What is TAKING SO LONG?
Phil: It has been ONE business day!
TJ: I know, right! Gosh!
Patience is not one of my many virtues.
So, Internet, how do YOU wait for big news that is supposed to arrive FOREVER from now, but could also arrive at any moment, and could ALSO be exactly what you DO NOT WANT TO HEAR?
By Arrens on Oct 20, 2008
I always heard it as “She’s got electric boobs and a mohawk too.” In point of fact, it’s “She’s got electric boots and a mohair suit.”
As for the waiting game, I choose to believe it’s not happening until it arrives. It’s how I don’t get overamped before vacations/holidays/whatever is causing she-who-must-be-obeyed to go into a tizzy.
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By Chaninn on Oct 20, 2008
Distractions. When I’m waiting for something and start to spazz about it I distract myself with something good. I go shopping for books, cook, watch my fav shows or call a friend. It reallly helps to make a list & keep it handy of stuff I like to do that I can use for distractions. :)
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By Myze on Oct 20, 2008
You wait patiently for your fish-shaped news to arrive, even if it has been two months.
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By TJ on Oct 20, 2008
@Myze: The fish are still under my desk. I’m a total asshole. I come into work every single day and a box of fish sits under my desk. I just cannot seem to find the space in a day to mail out 20 envelopes of fish shaped items. However. I have now put it on my goal list for the week. NO MORE FISH UNDER THE DESK.
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By Braveship on Oct 20, 2008
“She’s got electric BOOTS, a mohair suit, you know I read it in a magazine, oh-ho… Benny and the Jets.”
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By Brian on Oct 20, 2008
You wait very, very impatiently, in squirrel pants.
Also, fairly sure it’s electric boots.
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By Lance on Oct 20, 2008
I tell you what you do you call Phil every our on the hour just to see if the news arrived yet.
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By Kestrel on Nov 3, 2008
…catching up…(I suck @ teh internets)…For the longest time, I thought it was electric boobs, too, and my imagination pictured battery-powered twirling pasties. Even though I *know* the correct words, more often than not, I hear “boobs” the first time through anyway.
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