Sing your own kind of song
November 15th, 2009 | by TJ |Stuff I have sung that may or may not have gotten on Phil’s nerves recently
a list, by TJ
1. This is the song, la la la la, Kel-mo’s song. This is the song, la la la la, KEL-mo’s song!*
2. K-K-K-Kelly face, K-K-Kelly face.*
3. Any way I want it, that’s the way I get it, ANY WAY I WANT IT DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT*
4. All the single Kellys, all the single Kellys. All the single Kellys, all the single Kellys.*
5. Journey, Journey, Journey, Journey, Journey, Journey, Journey**
* repeat exactly as written, over and over, until someone asks you to please, PLEASE stop
** to the tune of ANY Journey song. Seriously. Try it sometime.
v^v^v^v^v
Also? While I’m talking about how I have been super annoying lately, and along the lines of the post the other day about what our significant others have to put up with, I have something to confess.
Neither Phil nor I have been sleeping well lately, and our sleep schedules are all out of whack and weird. Last night, we went out to grab some dinner and I guess we ate a bit too much. We were definitely feeling a food coma coming on when we decided to lay down for JUST A MINUTE around 6pm when we got home.
And then, of course, we woke up at 10pm.
Phil is extremely anti-nap and after getting up briefly to shut down the computers and let the dog out, he wanted to go right back to sleep in order to stick as closely to our normal sleep schedules as possible, so he got right back into bed, intending to act like we totally hadn’t just slept for four hours in the business end of a Saturday.
So here is where my confession comes in, Internet.
I wasn’t even a little bit tired.
So, every time he closed his eyes? I slapped him in the forehead.
Eventually, he gave up, and took me out for this soda that was bigger than my head.
By Shawndra on Nov 15, 2009
Husband was totally nodding his head while I read this to him (I have to read him your blog, he won’t read it, although I know he enjoys it). I said,”I’m not like that. I beat you up WHILE I sleep. There is a difference.”
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TJ Reply:
November 15th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
In my defense, I DID remind him of the “nobody sleeps until I’m ready to sleep” house rule before I started slapping him in the head.
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By Awlbiste on Nov 15, 2009
Oh my god. I will be utilizing the No Sleep Forehead Slap in the future.
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TJ Reply:
November 15th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Please tell your boyfriend, “you’re welcome.” From me.
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Awlbiste Reply:
November 15th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
He often falls asleep FOR NO REASON in the middle of things. So for now all I can do is send him messages on MSN:
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Each time it makes a seriously loud chimey noise. NSFS will work a lot better.
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By Kestrel on Nov 15, 2009
Umm…is it okay to point out improper verb tense use here, or will I get slapped in the forehead?
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TJ Reply:
November 15th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
That depends. Are you pointing it out to be helpful, or are you pointing it out in a snarky “you made a whole post about grammar and now you’ve made a mistake” kind of way?
HMMMM?
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By Kestrel on Nov 15, 2009
I would hope you know me a little better than that. :) And I figure the odds are at least 50:50 it’s a typo, since I’m pretty sure you know “I have sang” isn’t quite cricket.
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TJ Reply:
November 15th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
1. Good catch
2. I know YOU better than that, yes, but you are also part of a collective whole, known as The Internet, which I also know QUITE WELL, and that is definitely something The Internet would do.
IRREGARDLESS, I HAVE FIXED IT.
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Kestrel Reply:
November 15th, 2009 at 11:45 pm
So when you want to go out for a soda at 10pm, is Phil at your beckon call?
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Rhy Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 12:00 am
It’s magic. Enough slaps in the forehead, and walla! Soda!
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TJ Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 12:35 am
I laughed so hard at these comments, I literally died.
Kestrel Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
I surrender. No way I can win this war of wits. No way, Hoes Say.
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Capn John Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Hoes don’t say No way, they all say “That’ll be extra.”
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By Swistle on Nov 16, 2009
You are SUCH an interesting combination of adorable and annoying!
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TJ Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
I believe that it is that delicate balance that keeps me alive from day to day.
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By Jeremy on Nov 16, 2009
My wife does the same thing! However, she does not use the NSFS. Instead, she uses the No Sleep Back of the Arm Pinch which is way worse.
I find that she happens to be more aggressive in the morning, though. She invokes the “no one sleeps later than me on Saturday” rule.
I. Hate. That. Rule.
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TJ Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
I only pinch him if he tickles first.
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By john the diver on Nov 16, 2009
Speaking as someone that never sleeps more than 6 hours at a time, and has bouts of terrible insomnia from time to time. I just enjoy the time I have alone in the house while everyone else sleeps.
My favorite is when I get up at 6:00 am on a Saturday, with no alarm. Then I go outside and mow the lawn.
neighbors love me.
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TJ Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
To be fair to me, most of the time I do leave him alone and stay in the office when he is sleeping.
Well, when he has to work the next day, I do. Weekends are fair game.
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Adlib Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
When I was in college or high school, I’d get insanely mad at my dad when he decided to start cutting down trees in the yard with the chain saw while my sister & I were still asleep, downstairs.
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john the diver Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Maybe I am just paying it forward. I hated my dad when he would get up and blast the stereo and do yard work.
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By Aunt Becky on Nov 16, 2009
Dave would have slapped me with the soda that’s bigger than my head. I think your husband-to-be is nicer than my husband.
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TJ Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
He does wet willies. It’s way worse. WAY WORSE.
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Adlib Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
If my husband ever dares, he’ll lose an arm. So gross!
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By Melchoir on Nov 16, 2009
I nominate song number 5 for song of the year. For every year. Ever!
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TJ Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
It does have a certain catchy ring to it, doesn’t it.
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By Shelly on Nov 16, 2009
Must try song 5.
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By Liz on Nov 17, 2009
I don’t slap my husband if I can’t sleep, I just do anything I can to annoy him.
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