Temerity Jane
06. 07. 2009

So, Internet, you may notice that from time to time, I talk about my family on this site, but they don’t comment or otherwise appear.

That is because I have long refused to tell them where this site is. My mother is only vaguely aware that the site exists, my brother and father are clueless, and my sister has an insane determination to locate the site.

I haven’t told them, though, because I do not want to feel stifled. You know we are all different when we’re around our families than we are around our friends, even if our friends happen to comprise the entirety of the Internet. It sounds weird, I know, but I am actually extremely uncomfortable with people I actually know reading my writing. To be clear, I don’t actually consider blogging (my blogging, at least) to actually be writing, which is why I am okay with the Internet reading it, but you’ll notice that even though I now am an honest to goodness writer who gets paid for writing things, I have yet to tell you anything about those things or where you might read them. Because I’m not even comfortable with people I e-know reading my actual writing. I still don’t even really consider myself a writer, and probably never will.*

You may wonder how I’ve gotten away with this, but if you don’t know the words “Temerity Jane” and only know me in person, this site is remarkably hard to find. My full name brings up a Google page full of results on a certain actress. The site has managed to hide in plain sight for quite a long time.

Me: Why do you even WANT to read it! It’s boring!
Kate: Because you’re funny!

Well… yes, yes I am. But I still refused to tell her. I knew she’d try to look, and figured maybe some day, some how, she’d manage, but trust me – if you don’t know what you’re looking for, this page is hard to find.

Then, last Tuesday, glancing at my stats after the influx from the Whedon post, I noticed something, all the way at the bottom, about to get knocked off the list by the next visitor. A 20 minute visit from the Lackawanna County Library system.

Hm… my sister lives in Lackawanna County, PA. And she doesn’t have a computer, so she uses the ones at the library!

I called her. No answer. Text messages ensue.

Her: (knowing immediately what I’m talking about) Who, me? *innocent look including dimple flash*

Little while later, my phone rings.

Her: So… how mad ARE you?
Me: How did you find it!
Her: I don’t even remember.
Me: Oh my god, how long have you known?
Her: Um… less than a year.
Me: You are in so much trouble.
Her: I know. As soon as I got that text message, I was like, “Nooooooooooooo!”
Me: You haven’t told anyone, have you?
Her: No! And think about how I felt, I’d be sitting in the library almost peeing my pants and everyone was looking at me funny.
Her: Nothing has changed! Keep it together!

So apparently, even after being told that I would prefer to keep my site private from my actual family, she found it one day and immediately felt so guilty she closed the page (after writing down the name, of course). And once in a while, when the temptation got to be too much, she would open the site and read only the front page, never going back in the archives, and she has kept this secret from me for almost a year. CONSUMED WITH GUILT AT HER DECEPTIVE WAYS.

As you know, however, later that day my attention was taken away by other, more shiny matters.

On Wednesday, she finally made her first blog appearance.

GUESS WHAT! since you got engaged you totally forgot how mad you were at me! SCORE! thanks phil!
oh yeah and congrats. sweet bling. i mean ring.

Oh, I didn’t forget. I did NOT forget.

So, Internet. Does your immediate family read your personal blog? Do they even know it exists? Have you gone to any lengths to deliberately conceal or hide it from your family? What would you do if your sister had been stealthily spying on your life for almost a year without saying a word about it? Even if she read a story on your site that you later told her and she pretended not to have ever heard it before? Would you mail her a box of dirt? Would you make her wear a giant bow on her non-existant ass in your wedding?

* Why I do not, and probably never will, consider myself a writer: I write a lot. I write all day every day. I write for other people who do not have the time to write things for themselves. They tell me their ideas and what they need, and I write it up for them. When I write here, on this site, I generally write about things that have happened. If you notice, there is a complete lack of original ideas in both areas. I do not have ideas. Writers have ideas. I am capable of the actual, physical act of writing, but not of creation from nothing.

30 responses to “She’s heee-eeere.”

  1. Awlbiste says:

    Nobody knows and most likely nobody would care. I would, however, probably die if anyone found out. Not that my blog is that great or that I even update that much but I go to great extreme pains to hide who I actually am from my (thankfully distant) family. Those people are CRAZY. No joke.

    I don’t want my mother to know what goes on in my personal life anymore than I want to know what goes on in hers. I think she feels the same way.

  2. Kelly says:

    When I started a blog, I purposely kept it secret from my real life friends & family… but eventually I blabbed, because I’m severly untalented at keeping my own secrets. Which only gave me another reason to procrastinate writting.

  3. Dechion says:

    Oddly enough I recieved my first comment from a family member on my Wow blog over the weekend. Not quite sure how my nephew figured out it was me, I suppose I’ll have to ask him.

    Then again I never really tried to hide it, it’s just that few people I am related to play the game. Even fewer read blogs about it.

    I think including myself and my nephew it makes two that do.

    Yes it was an odd feeling though.

  4. Tchann says:

    My family is rather internet-savvy, so when the day came that they discovered the location of my blog, I started taking preventative measures with the more risque parts of it. That is, I’m on LJ and lock posts regularly to keep them out.

    My brother reads my journal, even the locked stuff, cuz we’re close like that. S’all good.

  5. Tami says:

    1) I have strained mightily to get my family and friends to read my blog, and I have about a 50% success rate. It beats me having to recite months-worth of happenings every time I see them. “You have red hair?” “Yes, I posted pictures on my blog.” “Yes, well, I’m sure that means something.” *cue flailing*

    2) You’d be surprised at how many people are willing to give you ideas. Take Choose, my interactive webserial. I write based on how people answer the poll I give them. Still a story, but the ideas are rarely my own. I usually beg friends to give me poll options. =]

  6. Lady Jess says:

    My family knows where mine is. My Mom reads it. BUT she was warned ahead of time that I wasn’t toning anything down, and that occasionally F bombs would drop from the sky. I even gave it to my inlaws, so they can see what we’re up to, whether I’ve heard from Hubby during deployments, etc. They however never seem to use it and still call/email me for info >.<

  7. Ale says:

    Instead of writing a blog and trying to hide it, I read the blogs of others in a lurky fashion and enjoy their hilarity while remaining incognito. Oops, I have ousted my lurking self.

    Working at work is so over rated.

  8. Melme says:

    I was pretty open about my blog with my friends when I started blogging (Actually, I attempted to get all of them blogging as well, with some success) but I never shared it with my family (other than my husband).

    A year or so ago, my sister-in-law found my blog (God knows how) and shared it with my brother and updates my mom on everything I write. I haven’t felt comfortable since then and my frequency has suffered a lot. ::sigh:: I really don’t want to have to go purposefully underground with it just to reclaim my anonymity, but it may come to that.

  9. Ylee says:

    My family barely knows how to check email, so I’m not too worried about it. However, I have been known to bitch about my in-laws on my site, only to have my wife tell me I have to remove it because my brother in-law knows about my site. Argh! So now I have a blog no one knows about to vent on! :D

  10. Aximand says:

    TJ, this is clearly an opportunity for a disinformation campaign against your sister. Engagement news, wedding news, Arizona news … with your capacity for ad-lib, I have full faith in your ability to make her rue the day she googled you from the Lackawanna County Public Library.

  11. Anea says:

    While my family knows about my wowblog (since I linked it to them one day out of squees to show my pretty layout and AMG LOOK AT THE HITS TODAY!!!) and they DO know about my personal journal, that journal is kept under lock and key. It’s hosted somewhere, so of course is very hidable. Not that I wrote about top secret stuff, but like you, I would feel stifled.

  12. Grimmtooth says:

    No way does my fam read my any of my blogs, though one of my sisters does FB with me, but she’s pretty cool.

    As for your sis … took one search, adding the word “blog” after your name, and your page at a certain freelance writer’s site was just a few links from the top, and pretty much stuck out. Once you went legit, she was bound to find you :)

    As far as punishment … yeah, the big ass-bow is a great idea.

  13. Roast says:

    For years my best friend and I kept email correspondence back and forth, witty poems, filthy song remixes, funny real life stories. At some point shortly after I got divorced from my 1st wife I started up a website because I thought we were so damn funny, and I needed an outlet other then drinking everyday when I got home from work. He and I contributed to it, and it was a pretty large secret from most everybody I know. It had wild stories of me going out and getting drunk back when I was younger and stupider, dating strippers, the whole nine yards. All funny stories went up, and they were all true. I took pains to never write out my anger towards my ex-wife though, just thought it wasn’t a good idea…

    Which was a good thing, because some how word got out to my ex, her parents, and everybody I knew a couple years into it. I only found this out when my ex-mother-in-law commented to me one time about how funny my web site is.

    Good times.

  14. Bernie says:

    Are you kidding? I write things on the Internets about my family and tell them that I have no idea who is writing it.

  15. Adlib says:

    I don’t have a blog currently (may have to fix that), but my family is like Ylee’s–they barely know how to check email, and that’s about it. I have a Facebook page they know about but aren’t curious enough to actually join and look at.

    Although when I was home for Father’s Day, my dad said that my aunt (his sister) had seen my FB page while at my cousin’s house. He said she was just concerned and that I should be “careful” about what I put on there, but that it was “nothing bad”. I really considered taking my cousins off my page, but then again, she’s my crazy aunt, and I don’t really care what she thinks. (Plus, my cousins are pretty cool.) She can keep her opinions to herself and not have to tell dad so he can tell his 29 YEAR OLD daughter how to behave on the ‘net. *sigh* Family. This explains why my mom never goes out west to visit them every year when dad goes.

    So yeah, family on the internets can be scary, especially when you’re just being yourself. LOL I’m not sure what I’d do if my sister ever discovered my blog that I was trying to keep secret. I guess if she promised not to bother me about what I posted, I think I’d be okay. (My sister is like that.)

  16. Edyion says:

    Hmmm, interesting question….seeing as I blog about things they have absolutely no interest in what-so-ever, I have never had any worry about my family finding and reading my site. The few times I actually have posted things about my family online its the kinds of things I would gladly tell them to their faces and probably with not so many perdy words.

    All that aside….

    I would go with the bow….box of dirt isn’t that bad. Then again I am one for mental trama when seeking my revenge. *rubs hands together all sinister like*.

  17. Asara says:

    Perhaps not a bow, but a giant HAT with a bow. And a feather. Maybe some flowers.

    My hubby’s side of the family reads my blog, not that there is much there to read. And I think either my brother or my brother’s wife stops by from time to time as well. I don’t think my parents understand what a blog is. Either way, I just don’t write about them. I keep all that stuff locked away in my noggin.. just waiting for the right thing to bust open its prison and unleash its insane anger and righteous fury upon the world.

    Hopefully that never happens, but if it does, you can’t say I didn’t warn you! ;)

  18. Chris says:

    I think my brother and sister know about my site but my parents have no idea. I mean they know I have my own site and all but what it is called nope. If they did find it and such I wouldnt care. If I needed to post something that I didnt want them to see I would just lock it and give the pw to people that needed it.

    As for your sister finding it and having known for over a year…I just dont know how you could have missed it. I use a third party site meter and when I post something that gets a ton of hits I like to see where people are coming from and where they live. I also try to figure out who they are by location. Its kind of a game.

  19. KT says:

    My family and friends know about my blog and read it, but it’s a food blog so it’s mainly just pictures of food and me talking about how I made it or what eating at that restaurant was like.

    I bet they don’t even read it most of the time :P I told them because it would be too hard trying to explain to people why I take pictures of food all the time without them knowing.

    If I had any other type of blog though, I probably would keep it a secret.

  20. Kestrel says:

    My family knows I blog. I don’t think any of them ever read it. My wife made a very small contribution when I posted from Hawai’i once (I actually just wrote her words, I think). If I want to keep secrets, I don’t blog about them–that’s why they are secrets!

  21. THE SISTER says:

    whatev, INTERNET. why don’t YOU ALL wear a big stupid bow on YOUR non-existant asses.
    if she was your sister, you’d want to read it too. she’s not EVEN your sister and you all read it. now how fair is that?

    also i made her pee her pants laughing when she was twelve by pretending to shake a dice through my head. PEED. HER. PANTS.
    i’m here to stay, bitches! and there will be no giant bow.

  22. Vronak says:

    Perhaps a scarlet TJ on the breast of her gown?

  23. Aboo says:

    Putting a bow ON her non-existant arse would just cover up the object of derision. I vote for a giant bow JUST above the non-existant ass. With a very large arrow pointing down towards said ass, if you’re not into subtlety.

    Don’t send the dirt though, that would just cost you money and give her a free planter. Unless the dirt had something in it…

  24. Zahrah says:

    My brother found my LJ once and was showing my dad, and it just so happened I had gotten a new tattoo and had posted it so my friends could see.. I hadn’t told my family about the Tatt yet, so when came over one night for dinner where any mail for me was normally kept was a printed out colour pic of my tattoo

    and much yelling occured. I learnt to never tell your brother your internet nic..

  25. […] Published July 8, 2009 World Of Warcraft Leave a Comment Tags: Blogging Tj’s post She’s heee-eeere.  A post where she discusses her sister finding her blog, got me thinking – Is there anyone […]

  26. For The Pie says:

    No, my family has no idea, but I don’t really post about my family. My family does know of my WOW playing and such. But I have compartmentalized my life to some degree.

    As to your sister…cat is out of bag so to speak. Start telling the really good stories so we can read her rebuttals.

  27. Dara says:

    TJ, of course you are a writer. The ideas you have are that the things that happen to you are funny. How about expanding some of your blog stories, or your events as you prep for your wedding and put out a book like this author did?http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d.html/ref=mp_s_a_2/190-4708333-0552103?qid=1247341728&a=081297574X&sr=8-2

  28. Nej says:

    I kept my blog secret for quite some time. Somehow my mom found it, she told sis….and the rest is history.

    I didn’t want anyone I knew reading it…because it was a chance for me to vent a little, if necessary. I wanted to be silly, goofy and anonymous.

    Now that they are reading it….I’ve gotten used to it.

    I had a friend tell me that she doesn’t ever call to do anything, because I’m too “interesting.” Oh yeah…you read that right. Seems she thinks her life is boring, and I’m (apparently) too interesting to hang out with. She’s decided this after reading my blog. (sigh)

    I still keep it up…but constructed a new blog for venting. Under an alias.


  29. Silent says:

    As a person living with the ass-less disability I take great offense to said bow. I have a dream that people will one day be judged, not on the content of thier ass, but the color of thier character (that sounds right doesn’t it? Yeah, YEAH!) The ass-less are beautiful too :D

  30. […] around the time I got engaged, I found out that my sister had been reading this site, in secret, for almost a year. While she was not thrilled to finally be found out, she did enjoy the fact that the pressure of […]