Temerity Jane

SHENANNIGANS.

Ok, so maybe I haven’t been going out so much lately. Maybe I’ve been keeping a bit to myself. Maybe I have fallen asleep 3 or 4 nights in a row nearly right after work, with all of the lights on. And maybe I spend the weekends holed up in my room.

I ask you, Internet, is that so bad? Does not everyone have their phases of hermitry?

I did, in fact, go out this afternoon. I went to see Zack & Miri Make a Porno with my friend Pie. I got a voicemail while I was in the movie and, listening to it afterward, it was my friend Michelle asking me to come down to the Greene Turtle later in the evening for a friend’s birthday. I called her back and let her know I wasn’t really up for going out tonight, but thanks for the offer, I was really just going to go home and sloth around my room for the evening.

“Are you sure?,” she says.
“Yes,” I says.
“We’d love to see you,” she says.
“I know where the Greene Turtle is if I change my mind,” I says.
“8pm,” she says.
“I’ll let you know if I change my mind,” I says.
“I hope you change your mind,” she says.

I was not going to change my mind.

So, here I am at home, around 10pm, happily slothing around my room when I get a text from Michelle and Dan.

“The band is coming down.”

“The band” being a local band that I greatly enjoy, that I have not seen in quite some time.

Me: Ha, rad.
Them: So come!
Me: It’s past my bedtime.
Them: Bullshit, Phil doesn’t go to bed for another two hours.

Ok, well, they got me there. Besides, I do really like the band. So I sat up, made some half-assed swipes at my hair and make up, and headed out to the bar. Considering I had been telling Phil about 5 minutes previously that I was about to go to sleep, I was pretty impressed with me.

Upon arriving at the bar, Dan had this to say:

“I need to come clean. The band is coming… but it’s not Stokely Rose.”

At that point, I affixed a scowl to my face that was not to be removed for the rest of the evening.

Which lasted about 30 minutes. Enough time for one diet soda, one cigarette and one “Good DAY, Sirs!” as I stomped back to my car.

Now, I appreciate that some people may not approve of my recent attatchment to my lair and refusal to leave said lair. But resorting to trickery to entice me out?

Well, that is just not going to end well for anyone. Now I am the cranky bitch that scowled for half an hour and stomped away, and they are the nefarious duo who lured me from my cave with false promises only to shatter all my hopes and dreams.

Who, Internet, is the buttface in this scenario!