Settle this.
March 12th, 2008 | by TJ |Ok, still taking ideas for this post, but in the meantime, I have an argument I’m going to need settled.
I’m not going to tell you which side is mine, or give any reasoning for either side – obviously, if you knew which side I was on, you’d agree, because I’m kind of an authority on this subject.
Sandwiches.
So, say you’ve got a sandwich of some sort. A burger, even, or a chicken sandwich, or a normal sandwich of some kind. You’ve purchased it, you have it in front of you, and now you need to add condiments – ketchup, mayonaise, something that comes in a squeeze bottle or little packet.
So you open the thing up, you have your little squeezy jobber.
Are you going to put the mayonaise or ketchup or whatever on the actual innards of the sandwich – on the chicken or beef or whatever – or are you going to put it on the top bun that you’ve just removed to open the sandwich?
I’m confident that I will be proven correct here.








By MichaelTLH on Mar 12, 2008
ALWAYS put it on the bread, because it absorbs better.
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By Daxenos on Mar 12, 2008
Bread side please. No wanna condiment squirting outta da samich!
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By lance on Mar 12, 2008
Top Bun always it melds better. First
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By lance on Mar 12, 2008
damn
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By Amanna on Mar 12, 2008
Innards
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By Amanna on Mar 12, 2008
Unless it’s mayo. Mayo always goes on the bun.
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By Fear on Mar 12, 2008
Forget the bread! I always put it on the meat, mostly because incorrectly replace the bread i make less of a mess…
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By Fear on Mar 12, 2008
err *”if I incorrectly”
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By BaldBilly on Mar 12, 2008
Bun, unless cheese is present, than bottom, no innards.
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By Asara on Mar 12, 2008
I always put it on the meat/cheese, whatever. No matter what condiment it is. I maintain that the absorption argument for the bun is moot because said condiments will still retain contact with both the meat and the bun once sandwich integrity is restored, thus absorption into the bun is still possible. The few seconds between application of the condiment to the bun and the “smooshing” of the bun back onto the meat or what have you will not effect sufficient absorption to prevent “squirting” of said condiments, regardless of the quantity of condiment applied.
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By Hershey on Mar 12, 2008
Po-TAY-to, Po-TAH-to. It depends on which is closer to my right hand. The less movement required by me to enjoy my feast, the better. Yes, I am that lazy.
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By ailtia on Mar 12, 2008
Depends on the situation.
If it is my condoments and noone else is going to use them then I put is on the meat.
If on the other hand I am at someone elses house and are using their condoments the sandwich etiquette is that you put them on the bread as this hold back cross contamination. (meat with a slight taste of chicken or if someone is a non-meateater).
yours always
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By Kelly on Mar 12, 2008
Depends. If there is lettuce or tomato or some other vegetable present, I’ll squeeze onto the hearty goodness of choice. Otherwise, I’ll squeeze onto the bun/bread to make smearing easier.
Big help, huh? ;)
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By Boffors on Mar 12, 2008
On the bun because it can be distributed evenly and completely to provide condiment flavor in every bite.
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By Boffors on Mar 12, 2008
The only exception I can think of is if you skip opening the sandwich at all and just dip the sandwich in the condiment for each bite.
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By bm on Mar 12, 2008
Mayo always goes on the bun because of its cohesion properties. Everything else goes on the inerts because of the runny factor. trying to flip a bun back over or and having the condiments squish off the bun and end up all over is a bad thing, and its just awkward turning the rest of the sandwich over to accomodate for the condiments, which are supposed to be there only to compliment the sandwich.
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By Alevevia on Mar 12, 2008
If it’s a burger with lettuce and tomato, on the actual meat.
If it’s a sandwich, on the bread.
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By Dammerung on Mar 12, 2008
Bread side always…. On a burger its the breadside under the bun. On a deli sandwich its the breadside over the veggies.
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By Ego on Mar 12, 2008
I…I…I don’t know.
I’ve never really paid attention. Gimme a sec…
…*tries to remember things OTHER than the deliciousness of the burger…*
Innards.
I put it on the innards. I tried to imagine myself putting it on the bun, and I saw my mental bun go all soft and gooshy and icky.
Nobody likes a bun that squishes.
If there are a lot of precariously balanced addatives, like random lettuce, onions, tomatoes…I will actually flip the burger over and remove the bottom bun piece, then add the ketchup to the bottom bun.
Mayo ALWAYS goes on the bun, be it top or bottom.
(I never realized I had such strong opinions on the subject of condiments)
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By Scribble on Mar 12, 2008
Depends what’s in it.
If I have a cheese plateau I would condiment that then use the unadulterated bun as a spreading tool, moving it around on top of the cheese to get condiment on the bun and to evenly spread it.
If it’s a cheeseless item then I put it on the bun/bread and try my best to still do the moving spread.
If you want to condiment you want EVENLY DISTRIBUTED CONDIMENT (as far as is possible).
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By Chaninn on Mar 12, 2008
Good question!
Bun almost always. It’s the way my mamma taught me. It’s also the most polite in public situations.
But I think whichever way someone puts the condomints on, is ok. Tolerance FTW!
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By Rabbit on Mar 12, 2008
Bun…always put the condiment on the bun.
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By Hoder on Mar 12, 2008
Always on the Bun….I’m a bun guy, I admit it
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By Kirk on Mar 12, 2008
Usually (not always) the bun/bread. It’s easier to spread that way – for me, anyway.
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By sonvar on Mar 12, 2008
The bread/bun
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By Maebius on Mar 12, 2008
Well, in general, I use the bread side the majority of the time. One caveat to this is relish or other “chunky” condiment such as salsa. This goes on the innards mostly due to the fact if I flip the bun back onto the sandwitch I have a tendancy for chunky toppings to slide in-transit and get all off-center, which means I then have to do some wonky rotation of bun in order to restore a semblance of evenness….
EEk, sounding way to technical there!
Bun, unless chunky, then innards!
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By kakalaki on Mar 12, 2008
/vote Amanna
.
All but Mayo go on meat/cheese. The real question is “Do you have any Grey Poupon?”
.
BTW, not too much of a mustard fan :-\
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By JEC on Mar 12, 2008
If I’m just squeezing it out and letting it stand, innards. If I’m going to be spreading it out with a knife after squeezing, then bun, it’s a more uniform surface.
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By Tygo on Mar 12, 2008
Right on the innards, unless there’s lettuce and/or tomatoes in the way, then on the bun. It’s a game-time decision.
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By Squeezy mcCheese on Mar 12, 2008
I put it on my plate and dip!
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By m@ddog on Mar 12, 2008
always on the bread. Always…
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By Pablo on Mar 12, 2008
Gotta go with on the innards, with the exception of Mayo – that always goes on the bread. Why? Because it’s just right.
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By Vronak on Mar 12, 2008
It depends on the condiment and whether or not it has to be spread. Spreadables go on the bun! If mayo needs a knife, it goes on the bun. If I have the squirty type, it goes on the burger. Ketchup, mustard generally on the burger.
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By Yaksha on Mar 12, 2008
… It seems that I’m the only one who’ll put it on both…
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By Canth on Mar 12, 2008
Always ALWAYS on the innards.
Squeeze it, and make sure you get it everywhere. Put on some extra to make sure you’ve covered every exposed patch.
Ofcourse, all my buns/burgers come with meat/cheese only. Do not ever ruin something with lettuce, onions, tomatoes or other healthy foods.
For good measure, also squeeze some on plate and dip to make sure you have full coverage.
Don’t forget pepper/salt. This can go on the meat or condiments cause it will stick. Do not put it on the cheese.
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By Kestrel on Mar 12, 2008
Depends on whether there’s something on the bun already (e.g., ketchup, and I’m adding mustard).
BTW, does anyone else hate those little relish packets as much as I do? First, they’re too damn small; they need to be at least twice as big and probably 3x bigger to give enough relish for a hot dog. Second, there’s way too much pickle juice and not enough pickle relish per packet.
Finally, @ Ego: I simply can’t imagine you NOT having a strong opinion on anything. It’s all about the ego, girl! :D
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By Kestrel on Mar 12, 2008
Doh…I didn’t finish my original point! If there’s something on the bun already, add to the innards; otherwise, if the bun is nekkies, dress it!
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By AndyC on Mar 12, 2008
It depends on the sammich. Let’s say it’s a chicken sammich from Chic-fil-a, then if I feel like some of their honey mustard, I apply it to the bun. Why? The chicken is not usually shaped to easily apply the condiment, so it goes on the bun.
For burgers, if it’s a single patty, I usually apply to the bun, sometimes both sides if it’s really thick. If it’s a double patty, I usually add the ketchup to the patty, then flip it to get some goodness between them.
But I’m weird, all I want on my burgers is ketchup, nothing else (not even cheese).
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By teh Khol Abides on Mar 12, 2008
Condiments go on the bun, end of story.
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By Lady Jess on Mar 12, 2008
Bun…no question:)
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By Jen on Mar 12, 2008
If the bun isn’t already “treated” (ie cheese, other dressings of various types), then the bun.
I’m all for even distribution.
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By Nibuca on Mar 12, 2008
Applied to bun. Condiments act as a buffer to keep the juices of the sandwich from soaking into the bread. Without butter/catsup/mayo your bread/bun would be a soggy mess.
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By Gauntlet on Mar 12, 2008
I tend to put some on the bun and some on the innards, because then I can slather away freely without too much mixture until I combine the sammich. And I always put condiments on the innards before I add things like Bacos or French’s Onions, so that they stay in place.
Also – Now I’m hungry and it’s all your fault.
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By Game Dame on Mar 12, 2008
Okay if I answer this you’d better tell us which side (as it were) that you were on.
Put it on the bun. I mean, if you have a knife to spread it, it’s much easier to spread on the bun than on a loaded sandwich’s meat/whatever.
Isn’t this a similar argument to when Archie and Meathead discussed whether you put both your socks on first or put on one sock/one shoe and repeat? (Is anyone but me old enough to get this reference?)
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By Kat on Mar 12, 2008
Bread/bun … cause you can make pictures with a squeezy bottle.
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By BullyWully on Mar 12, 2008
on the bread +
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By Mike on Mar 12, 2008
On the bun/bread fo’sho
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By Seidhkona on Mar 12, 2008
Bread/bun. Of course!
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By Vaelin on Mar 12, 2008
You should make this a poll. ;)
The bread, generally.
If you’re putting on so much condiment that it won’t stick/absorb into the bread… then you might as well slap another piece of bread on there and be done because you won’t be tasting the innards. In cases where the ‘sauce’ may fall/squirt off/out (ex: there’s cheese stuck to the bread, and the lettuce stuck to the meat), then the bottom ‘bread’ is the best option… though if it’s a watery/thin ‘sauce’ then the bottom may become soggy over time depending upon the bread.
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By Anjin on Mar 12, 2008
If I am making the sandwich myself, condiments go on the breadish materials. If I am presented with a premade sandwich, condiments go on the filling. I don’t know why.
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By Necrobutcher on Mar 12, 2008
innards
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By Vorn on Mar 12, 2008
Always on the filling
If for instance you put tomatoe sauce on the bun then you have to flip it over onto the filling with the chance of it going everywhere.
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By Kailen on Mar 12, 2008
I always put it on the innards because…I just do. I don’t care where it goes, and, I don’t usually use condiments anyway.
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By Stale on Mar 12, 2008
MEAT!
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By Rabbit on Mar 12, 2008
@ gamedame: ooh good reference….love all in the family
and a vote for Maebius’ version. I’d like to amend my answer.
Always on the bun if a sauce-like addition, if a chunky addition put it on the innards
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By Kero on Mar 12, 2008
Now I want a burger. Mayo on top bun, mustard on bottom bun, and ketchup on the onions and cheese to hold it together with the tomatoes and lettuce. Mmmm.
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By Kero on Mar 12, 2008
oh, and toasted!!
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By Kirk on Mar 12, 2008
Grand Dame, no, you’re not the only one old enough to catch the reference (or to have seen the episode the first run). And yes, it does have exactly as much relevance to Life and other such important stuff.
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By tirah on Mar 12, 2008
my psychic/critical reading powers of analysis tell me that TJ is a bun person, despite an attempt at a non-partisan post.
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By Eustashius on Mar 12, 2008
@Game Dame and @Kirk
Those were the days!
:-)
- e
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By Eustashius on Mar 12, 2008
Now how about I answer the question…
Open packet, squirt some in mouth, take bite….
repeat as needed.
-e
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By Ratshag on Mar 12, 2008
Goes on the bun. Only freaks put it on the meat directly.
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By Clapus on Mar 12, 2008
mayo on the bun, mustard on the cheese.
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By Euripedes on Mar 12, 2008
Bun, bun, bun.
What if you need to add more “innards”? What if you deside you need more Turkey? Or another patty? What then, hmm?
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By The Soldier on Mar 12, 2008
anyone that’s putting condiments on anything but the bread is a heathen and a degenerate. Ratshag just beat me to it, and in a much more eloquent manner.
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By SaturnCat on Mar 13, 2008
On the bun. Thinking about putting it on the innards makes my head hurt a little.
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By Kirsten on Mar 13, 2008
On the bread. Always. In a pretty design.
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By Flaime on Apr 10, 2008
In culinary school, they teach that mayonaise and mustard should be applied to the bread portion of the sandwich. On both peices of the bread portion. Also, anything applied with a knife.
Other condiments should be applied to the meat of the sandwich. melted cheese goes directly on the meat of a sandwich. Unmelted cheese should be on bread.
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