This is a question I’ve asked before, sort of, and it’s been on my mind again recently. Not for any particular reason, I don’t think. I don’t think I even have my own answer off the top of my head. But I guess I’m interested in what you’ve got to say.
I think in the past I asked if you could think of a time where you had to make a choice, and you knew – or now know – that the choice you made at the time had a notable affect on the way your life went from them on. I guess I’m basically asking the same thing again, but with some refinements.
First, can you think of a specific decision you’ve made in your life – like do you right now remember what the choice was, and what your options were, and can you say what path that specific decision put your life on, and take a good guess at what you think might have happened if you made the other choice? Or one of the other choices, if there was more than one?
Maybe something like, on such and such a day, you decided to get coffee at a new place instead of your usual place. In doing that, you met the person who later introduced you to your husband. Had you gone to your usual place instead, you wouldn’t have met that person, and maybe you would have gone to more college and taken a totally different job and lived a whole new life because you didn’t meet your husband and decide together with him on a different career path for yourself. I mean something specific like that, where you can point to the exact choice that ended up leading your a certain way. Can you think of one of those in your life? Big or little. Can you bring one of those really specific choices to mind, even if at the time you were making the choice, it wasn’t obvious that it would end up being significant or the first step in a chain of events?
Now, I think the last time I asked a question like this, I stopped there, but today I have more to add. Starting with the obvious – if you could go back to that decision with all the knowledge you have now of the way that decision ended up pushing your life to the place it is now, would you make the same decision again? Like you made a choice that lead to you living in, say, Oklahoma, and another option would have lead you to California. Life is good in Oklahoma, but you can go back and make the choice again, leading to California instead, but with full memory of your Oklahoma life. If you apply that idea to the specific decision you have in mind, would you do it?
And how about this – if someone came to you right now and said something like, hey, remember that decision you made? I have a one time offer for you to go back to that day and make the opposite choice or pick a different option or whatever, and your life will go forward from that point, but without knowing what you know now about the way your life actually turned out. You get to get a do over, pick the other thing, without ever remembering what happened when you made the original choice. So, for example, if you had made a choice that lead to you living in Oklahoma and the other choice would have lead you to California, maybe you wouldn’t want to go back and change it because, you know, life in Oklahoma hasn’t turned out so bad and you don’t know that you’d want to miss out on that. But you’re getting the chance to make the California decision as if you’d never made the Oklahoma decision. You’d never know the difference or what you’d be missing. Then would you do it?
Anyway, I spend a lot of time laying really still and thinking, I guess.