Temerity Jane

Reasons my boyfriend is awesome.

A list,
by TJ

1. Last Wednesday, I was trying to decide what to write about. “Should I write about my blog’s 2 year anniversary or about how awesome you are since it’s also our nine month anniversary and I kind of always bitch about you to the Internet?” He picked the blog.

2. I got a new trimmer/personal groomer thingie. He let me test it on the back of his neck AND his eyebrows before I tried it on my own eyebrows. In case it accidentally shaved them all off. Even though he leaves the house for work all day and I stay in the house and no one would ever see my missing eyebrow, should one go missing.

3. For our one year anniversay, we are going to BlizzCon and Disneyland. BOTH of them.

4. The day BlizzCon tickets went on sale, I woke up at 1am. I wandered around for a bit, got back in bed around 2 and then jostled him awake around 2:45. And told him I was bored. And lonely. And that he should get up. And I kicked the covers around. And I thrashed my arms. And when he pinned my arms down, I sang 99 Bottles of Beer on the wall. By 3am, we were both at our computers, awake. And he didn’t kill me.

5. I’m just going to reiterate point four – he didn’t kill me.

6. For this reason:

TJ: Uh oh.
Phil: What?
TJ: I got mashed potatoes on your Air Force shirt.
Phil: It happens.

He had let me wear the shirt while we ate chicken from a bucket (MY FIRST BUCKET FOOD EVER!) even though he has watched me spill something on every single item of clothing I own.

7. On Saturday, he hung out outside the dressing room of Forever 21 while I tried on a bunch of clothes. Then he stood patiently and held my clothes while I tried on 5 or 6 different necklaces and chose none. Then he trailed behind me while I circled the shoes and purses. Twice. Then, he held my place in line while I picked out an awesome necklace and an auxiliary necklace. Then he took me to Fuddruckers!

8. The very next day he agreed to go out bra shopping. He waited while I got measured at 2 different stores, assisted in the picking out of $274 worth of underwear AND was the person responsible for finding the coupon the brought the purchase down to $144. Edited to add: He also didn’t complain when he bought a pretzel at the mall, or any other time, when “I just want one bite of your pretzel/pizza/whatever” turned out to mean “I am eating at least half of whatever you’ve got there.”

9. Again, I must say that the fact that I still exist is a monstrous testament to Phil’s awesomeness.

10. He doesn’t mind when I chew on him.*

11. I fell asleep with a sport bottle of water in the bed. Red water, from one of those flavor packets? And the whole thing dumped all over the bed and down the wall. The words “What kind of dumbass falls asleep with a bottle of water in the bed?” never crossed his lips.

12. He hardly ever beats me. **

13. He answers my obsessive and repetitive questions about how the Air Force may/will influence our future including where we live, when we get married, and possible separations every time I ask, even if I asked the same question two days ago and the Air Force has not changed any policies in the last 48 hours.

14. My insistence on grocery shopping dictated by sales and reasonable prices has finally started to rub off and it’s SO DAMN CUTE when he compares the tiny-printed unit prices on grocery shelf stickers.

15. The other day he called me melodramatic when something he did made my temper shoot up, so I ran down the stairs and outside in a perfectly justified rage since he was obviously RUINING MY LIFE (by doing funny voices that annoyed me), and then I came back in the room and said, “CALL ME MELODRAMATIC, WILL YOU?” and started windmill punching him all over the torso with my fists of fury, informing him about exactly how his dumb voice was RUINING MY LIFE and he kept laughing even when I accidentally clocked him in the face.

16. The other day he spent 20 minutes finding the end of a drawstring that had disappeared into my pants because if I couldn’t wear THOSE PANTS RIGHT THEN my whole life would be RUINED and while he was spending those 20 painstaking minutes fixing my pants even though there were at least 3 comparable pairs of pants right there on the floor in the form of his boxers, I fell asleep and he didn’t even wake me back up to slap me in the head.

17. After we got the dog groomed, I instructed Phil to remember to tell the dog that he looks very handsome because I think it makes him feel good. He didn’t even laugh at me a little while I was still in the room. He also doesn’t laugh too much when I immediately pet the dog after yelling at him for eating cat food or attempting to eat cats themselves, because seriously, you look at that face and not feel like a total asshole after you yell at him.

18. He’s having surgery on the 28th of May and is taking me to see my favorite band, 2 hours away in Tucson, less than a week later. He doesn’t even LIKE them that much.

19. His new license plate says MOREDOTS.

20. He thinks it’s hilarious when I bitch about him on the Internet.

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* Unfortunately, exactly what it sounds like.

** No, seriously, it’s really pretty rare.