Rage balls, Makeup Monday: Starting a Collection, and being in.

May 6th, 2013 | by TJ |

Maria has started doing Makeup Monday for the month of May, and you can look to this post on her blog for more explanation, but since I have makeup to talk about and a No Buy, No No Blog going on, it aligns nicely with my goals, so I decided to hop on board with one of the questions that came up a couple of times in the last post and sometimes on Twitter, or anywhere, really, when talk of a makeup collection gets going, and that question – we’re still in the same sentence, I think – that question is this: How does a person get started making (getting? building? having? gathering?) such a collection?

But first I have to say, I did not even think I would even get to do a post today at all, and I guess for most people I am not even really doing a post today at all, because I think the Internet is closed for most of the country at this point, or the people who have the good channels or DVR are watching all of that stuff, because it’s 7pm in Arizona, which is pretty much No One’s Here o’clock, Internet Standard Time. I’ve been laying in bed for the longest time because I’ve had terrible stomach cramps all day, and there’s maybe a two percent chance they’re related to the stomach cramps Phil had yesterday, considering we eat mostly the same food and go the same places, live in the same house and are exposed to all of the same things, but I’m 98% certain it’s a rage ball in my stomach, and if it is a rage ball, then I’m 100% certain it’s Penelope-related.

  •  Evidence One: Every morning, she snuggles up close to me, on the love seat, so that she’s practically up IN my love seat cushion, even though it’s clearly a two person sofa, and — actually, you know what?
  • Evidence Two: Once she’s snuggled up, she puts her left foot on me. And I subtly push her foot off of me. And she will be drinking her milk, or looking at the dogs, or watching television, or just otherwise occupied, and she just puts her foot right back where it was. Like it was comfortable there, and she’s just putting it back, no big. So I move it again. And she puts it back. So I move it. And she puts it back. Only by then, I can SEE HER SMILING. And she might hook her foot over my arm, or put her bare foot flat against my forearm, or whatever, anything. So I shove her, gently-ish, to her own cushion, as it should be, on a two cushion couch. And she will snake her left foot down the couch and TOUCH ME WITH HER FOOT. Until I am yelling, at a two year old, “GET YOUR FREAKING FOOT OFF OF ME. STOP IT. STOP TOUCHING ME WITH YOUR FOOT. STOOOPPPP IIIIIIIITTTTTTT!”
  • Evidence Three: Speaking of snakes (I did, up there, you can go back and check), she refused to eat her lunch today because it was snake, even though she knew FULL WELL it was steak. SHE KNEW. I knew she knew. SHE KNEW I KNEW SHE KNEW. She’s always snake-punking me. (There is a video here. You might not see it in whatever crappy substitute for Google Reader you’ve been forced into.)

  • Evidence Four: The numerous time outs today specifically for throwing things while yelling, “No THROWING!” as she heaved the item across the room.
  • Evidence Five and Six: These two potatoes she removed from the fridge, bit, and then left places.

    There’s a buttmunch loose in this house. I’ve got the evidence RIGHT HERE.

You: That’s how two year olds are!
I know I just told you.

You: Have you tried –
We are trying parenting and waiting for her to age. Those are the methods we are going with.

I just – I KNOW. I know other kids are like this. This isn’t the other kid blog, it’s my blog and my rage ball, and I’m telling you, just because other kids behave this way doesn’t make it any less of a justified rage ball. She touches me with her foot WITH MALICE AFORETHOUGHT. “All two year olds are crazy” does not make me feel any less like laying face down in the carpet come 2:30pm. She learned how to open the fridge and used her new found knowledge to bite my potatoes. Potatoes are my favorite. What did she think was going to be different about the second one? She didn’t think anything. She’s two. There isn’t any thinking. There’s a desire to bite a potato, and then there’s biting the potato. And then the potato adventure is through. No thought involved. No thought for Mama who has to have a pre-bitten potato for lunch.

I KNOW IT’S BARELY BITTEN. IT’S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING. WE’RE A CIVILIZED PEOPLE, HERE.

I know all the sciencey stuff. Exploring her world! Checking shit out! Learning that this potato tastes just like that potato! Not learning that a decent human being RETURNS THE POTATOES WHEN DONE BITING THEM. I watched Mr. Rogers with her today, the one where he narrates while the film shows the crayon factory? That was always my favorite, I’m not unique in that, and holy shit, her mind was BLOWN. I know it’s a miraculous time and all of that, but so was pregnancy, and that was still a fucking shit show. I’m feeling all defensive because you get so many explanations. Oh, she’s two. Oh, terrible twos! Just learning about her world! This is an important time for them! No, no, I get it. I do. But if you are using those words like a sponge to wipe away at my frowny rage face I will just tell you now, there is a frownier, ragier face underneath, because one, gross, sponge. Two, foot. Three and four, my potatoes.

So anyway, my stomach hurts really bad. Two percent chance it’s what Phil had, 98% chance Penelope has put something in my food to destroy me from within. I just felt really blergh all day, so I didn’t think I’d get a chance to do my Makeup Monday post at all, but I didn’t want to miss out on helping Maria get this off the ground (seeing as how having it steaming along benefits my No Buy, No No Blog goals as well, after all), so since she expressed interest in seeing everyone’s collections and she went with lip stuff for her post, I gathered up all my lip stuff and posted this on Twitter with the Makeup Monday hashtag.

Penelope very much wanted her Lipsmacker included. She likes it applied directly to tongue.

That is, I believe, my entire current collection of lip products. Some are part of the No Buy, No No Blog project and some are just in my regular rotation. There are probably a couple of things that can be pruned out, but since I enjoy the researching/shopping/picking aspect of makeup as much as the having/using aspect of makeup like a lot of other kinds of hobbies, I don’t really end up with a whole lot that doesn’t work out for me. All of it is current, or at least most of it is, and should be still available for purchase or relatively easy to find, so names and swatches of anything you might be interested in seeing more of can be handled tomorrow. Which is today, probably, since the Internet is closed for most of you.

The question, though. Of how to start a makeup collection. Obviously I have one, but when people would ask that question, I would immediately think, “I don’t know, you’re going to have to ask someone else. I can’t help you, I have no idea.” Because, honestly, what do I know? I just buy things. But then, to anyone on the outside, who isn’t familiar with makeup at all, that probably sounds really daunting. That’s like me asking a knitter how to get started, and getting the answer, “Oh, I just knit.”

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I’m fairly… enthusiastic… about the things I like. Doctor Who, makeup, Korean television dramas. If I like something, I want everyone to like it. I don’t see the value in liking something before everyone else does, or in being the first one there, or in being “in the know” while everyone else is still on the outside, because I don’t see the value in loving something alone. When I love something like those things I listed, I love it. I don’t want to love it alone, I want to share it. There’s no prize in exclusivity for me – the more, the more better. The more people who share my interests, the more people I can discuss them with. The wider my circles expand. The more ways I can relate to people who were already my friends. When I am excited about something, I don’t want to turn my back and hunch over it to hoard it. I want to turn around and yell for everyone to COME OVER HERE AND LOOK AT THIS. And I do. A lot. Which, again, if you follow me on Twitter, you are well aware of.

When there is something that looks cool and you want to get in on it, there are several ways to do it. You could check a book out of the library. You could search online. You could jump in and just start doing it. Or you could find a friend who is into whatever it is you want to be into and ask for help. Those are all valid ways to explore a new interest or hobby, right? And people who were interested in makeup but had no idea where to start – that’s what some people were doing. Asking me. Some people want to know how to start a makeup collection, they see that I have a makeup collection, so they asked me. And what have I done up til now? Throw up my hands, say, “Oh, I can’t help you, I just do it.” Like a knitter saying, “I just knit.” Or if you wanted to learn how to ski, and you asked someone who skis how to get started, and they said to you, “I don’t know, you just ski.” It doesn’t make any sense. There are ways to get started. So I thought of some.

Some Ways to Start a Makeup Collection When You Don’t Know How to Start a Makeup Collection at All so You Have to Start From Somewhere: a List by Temerity Jane

∞ If you have any skincare concerns at all (very dry skin, aging skin (I’M NOT BEING INSULTING, YOU JUDGE FOR YOURSELF), very oily skin), a goo idea might be to go to a department store counter like Clinique known for good skin care systems, especially at a time when they are running a gift with purchase special. The counter lady will help you select some skin care stuff, they will maybe help you pick some makeup if you like, and you’ll get usually a little makeup bag with some free with purchase makeup products in it – which ones will depend on the promotion.

∞ OR? You can just pick a department store counter and ask for a full makeover. You’ll have to commit to buying some products at the end, but you can ask them to show you how to do what they’re doing, you can tell them what kind of “look” you want, and you’ll have all the colors chosen for you so you won’t have to worry about picking something terrible on your own.

∞ A brand like e.l.f. (carried at Target or available online, their site is always running a sale) is great for figuring out what types of products you like. Like do you prefer powder eye shadows, or cream? Or do you like pencil eyeliner, or liquid? With almost every single product under $5, most under $3, you can cheaply figure out your preferences and then step up to better brands.

∞ Ok, you know where you should start if you don’t have anything at all? Mascara. If you want to just start with something to break the makeup ice, you should buy some mascara. If you want a one item makeup collection, it should be mascara. If you want to buy two things, it should maybe be mascara and blush. Or mascara and a tinted lip balm. Mascara, blush, and a nice tinted lip balm. That’s a good way to start a collection, with those three things.

Continuation of the above point: I will be more specific now, but you and I both know that everyone is different and someone may recommend three different options in the comments, and then you will have to go your own way (YOU CAN GO YOUR OWN WAAAAAY (go your own waaay)): Cover Girl’s Clump Crusher, a blush of your choosing (Physican’s Formula has some foolproof ones and CVS regularly does excellent sales), and Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain.

Lastly, you can follow me on Twitter, because I am on a No Buy, No No Blog, and all day long, I point out things I would like to buy, and things I think other people should buy, usually on sale, or on sites like HauteLook. If you buy all of the things I would like to be buying, you will certainly have a collection. Quite quickly. I don’t think this is the best option. I think you’d like it, though.

Anyway. That’s it. Those are some ways that I think you could build a makeup collection if you don’t have one, and don’t know where to start. I hope it was helpful. I’m sorry if I’ve seemed closed off to the question before. That was… closed off of me. It was probably my rage ball talking. In the future, I will remember that I appear to be just as enthusiastic about makeup as I am about Doctor Who, cloth diapers, and Korean dramas, and I shouldn’t be such a knob when people want to be in on it.

Seriously. When people want to be in on what you’re in on, let them in. It’s fun when we’re all in. Unless it’s a secret. If someone tells you a secret, don’t tell. Unless it’s your spouse. You’re allowed to tell them. Don’t tell me secrets and say, “But don’t tell Phil.” Because in my head I’m already telling Phil. Unless it’s about a surprise for Phil. You can tell me those things, that’s okay, I won’t tell Phil. This is so exciting, Phil won’t even know what hit him!


Any resemblance to any person living, dead, or ridiculous when the word “you” is used is a figment of your imagination and not the intent of Temerity Jane.

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63 Responses to “Rage balls, Makeup Monday: Starting a Collection, and being in.”

  1. By Faith on May 6, 2013

    It really is rage-inducing to have to live with a toddler. I get it. Mine nearly kills me all the time. They’re like the worst roommate you ever had, complete with not paying their share of rent.

    TJ Reply:

    I tweeted a picture of what she did to my house yesterday. The roommate thing is right. If she shed, she’d be worse than the dogs.

    Faith Reply:

    I saw that picture and shuddered for you.

  2. By Amy K on May 6, 2013

    She needs a ToddlerCam helmet so we can see a (condensed) video of a day in the life of Penny. Stealthy potato munching, food stashing, general 2-year-old craziness, etc.

    TJ Reply:

    She does have her own FlipCam. It’s mostly 1 to 2 second videos, but there are some interesting clips of me yelling and her dad singing some songs from Team UmiZoomi while he changes her diaper.

  3. By Dave on May 6, 2013

    Thanks for sharing your two year old stories. Mine is very similar. Tonight, just before tucking her in, we discussed that yes, her and daddy could have bagels for breakfast. She then proceeded to refuse to go to sleep by yelling out “Daaaaddy have a BAgel” over and over again. There’s no sense!

    TJ Reply:

    I have to be really careful whenever I tell her we’re going to do something or someone is going to come to visit. If I’m not ready to make with whatever it is THAT SECOND, I will have to peel her off the floor.

  4. By Jesabes on May 6, 2013

    When Penny started yelling “no” I ducked. Ducked and winced, because OH SHIT, DID MY KID WAKE UP??? We’re deep in “I’m almost two and so damn cute I can do my best to burn your house down and you probably still won’t kick me out” over here. The worst part is the 4-year-old thinks all the destruction is great fun and has decided to participate.

    (Although a good “how crayons are made” viewing can still make them – and me – sit perfectly still. What I wonder every time is if things have changed since Mr. Rogers’ day. Are there as many factory workers? Or is crayon-making more automated?)

    TJ Reply:

    I hope crayon making it exactly the same.

    Laura Lou Reply:

    They did an updated crayon-making video for Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and it was pretty much the same. A little more automated, but still plenty of workers. The original video is better though, mostly because of Mr. McFeely’s narration. [I just realized you could never name a character Mr. McFeely today, unless it was a parody]

  5. By Marion on May 6, 2013

    1. Dirty Ham? I lost it. I need to get more sleep or something, because I legit laughed until the tears started at that one.

    2. That’s…a lot of sentences for a two year old. Seriously I’m impressed, but it makes me want to shake my 20 month old and go, “WHY YOU NO SPEAK WORDS.” Oh, don’t get me wrong, she speaks words, but the newest one is whispering, “Dieeeee….” at inappropriate times.

    3. Doctor Who. Doctor WHoooooooOOOooOOooo.

    4. “You just… snowboard,” my husband said to me my first time. I am assured that actually coming off the mountain with our marriage still intact was a major achievement.

    5. Makeup, oh man. I still read those parts cause I love the way you write, but my eyes started to glaze over a bit. And then I thought about how awesome the word “glaze” is. And then I got a doughnut. A glazed one.

    Scanderoon Reply:

    The “dieeeee” whispering… oh, my abs hurt from unaccustomed exercise earlier and laughing is painful but I am still laughing. I hope you survive with your sanity intact.

    TJ Reply:

    Penny was labeled as “slightly verbally delayed” at one year. I think she has… more than made up for that at this point, huh?

  6. By Vocalinds on May 6, 2013

    Oh, I love this post. Like really and truly love it. Even though you have a rage ball and a demon two-year-old. Does that mean I’m laughing at your pain? …No, I think I’m laughing at your excellent method of letting us all know about your pain. That’s… better?

    Anyway, the tags! And the digressions! And in the middle of you talking about being enthusiastic about what you like I had to go check the Star Trek Livejournal community that I’m a member of because it really truly is so fun when you can like things along with other people. (We are gearing up for the new movie. There are so few of us left, compared to 2009… we’re like Livejournal-pocalypse survivors.)

    I am greatly looking forward to the whole of your No No Blog time. I will probably learn things about makeup! I am generally of the “change one small thing every year or two” school of makeup acquisition, not really by choice so much as default.

    TJ Reply:

    If you’ve got something that works for you, there’s no need to change it. Even though I own a pretty decent amount of makeup, I probably think I follow the same routine with only minor variations in shade every single day.

  7. By Jess on May 7, 2013

    You are the best. And toddlers are the absolute worst. I often asked myself: and I’m just supposed to LIVE WITH THIS? In what bizarro world is it just ok for people to dump shit out of cabinets and leave it, parade food all over the place and leave it to rot. And then demand that I do things for them? And yell at me because I’m doing it wrong?
    (but omg Penny is sooooo CUTE. I can’t NOT say it: she is the cutest damn thing even when she talks about dirty ham. [see this is the weirdness of it not being my own kid: my head says: well yes she takes out the potatoes, but OMGCURLZ!])

    TJ Reply:

    Exactly: I am supposed to just LIVE LIKE THIS? Because yeah, we’re doing the right things. You know, parenting and all of that. I’m not just letting this monkey house stand. But it doesn’t sink in INSTANTLY. And in the meantime, I’m supposed to just LIVE LIKE THIS?

    It is insanely mind boggling.

  8. By Maria on May 7, 2013

    Oh so many of those lip things look pretty. I just got rid of some junky old stuff so I am gonna look for one more new lip thing if nothing good comes in Ipsy this month.

    I never would have thought to start with blush because I am bad at applying it and rarely wear it but then it always looks so NICE on people.

    TJ Reply:

    Well, if it’s going to be just one thing, just ONE SINGLE THING in all of Makeup Landia, it should definitely be mascara, but if it’s going to be just three, ever, in total, forever, one should be a blush. But being bad at applying makeup is why I spend so much time putting on makeup just before bed. I guess some people are born knowing how, or have mothers/sisters/aunts/men with interests to show them how, but the rest of us sit on the counter til we get it, right?

    Jody Reply:

    Ha! Having just started wearing make-up in the last year at the ripe old age of *7, I attended a family member’s wedding sporting my new look. My mother’s reaction upon seeing me? “Who taught you to put on make up?” It simultaneously conveyed, “isn’t that cute, you’re pretending to be a big girl” and “you look like a clown” all in one brief statement. Apparently I am neither a person who was born knowing how to use it nor was I lucky enough to have someone show me.

  9. By Diane on May 7, 2013

    THE CRAYON FACTORY EPISODE.

    That is the only one I can remember specifically. As SOON as you said Mr. Rogers, I was thinking of that episode, and then you mentioned the episode and you BLEW MY MIND. You can’t go blowing my mind when I’m trying to learn how to start a makeup collection, except I already HAVE those things you said to get started except blush because it makes me feel like a clown or something but I guess I should just find one that is very nearly clear.

    (I still dream I will one day visit a crayon factory.)

    TJ Reply:

    There are TWO crayon things in my childhood – the Mr. Rogers, where they make a yellow, and the Sesame Street one, where they make an orange color and the girl holds it up in front of her eye. Right? I’m not making that up, right?

    Jenny Reply:

    Ah, good. Turns out I remember the Sesame Street one, which had really hypnotizing music to my then-self, but not the Mr. Rogers one. I believe your assessment is correct.

    Natalie Reply:

    I actually did visit a crayon factory when I was a kid! And I think it was pretty awesome, but I have a terrible memory and don’t remember the specifics.

  10. By shin ae on May 7, 2013

    My older son did that thing with the foot. Sometimes he still does. And yes, it is just that rage-inducing.

    One time the same son covered the entire first floor of the house in feta.

    Toddlers are nuts.

    I’m sorry for thinking Pen is hilarious and adorable and not infuriating. I promise I think your rage is justified, it’s just that I’m not her mom. Anyway.

    I am fascinated by all your lip colors. I have a terrible time finding a lip color that looks natural, or even reasonable, really.

    TJ Reply:

    Okay, I am seriously not trying to be at all condescending with this question, but I don’t know how to make that come across in text, so I have to add this disclaimer so it comes across. Why do you feel like you have to find a lip color that looks natural? Your lips already look natural. You can put a whole range of colors on them that may feel unnatural, uncomfortable, and different to you, but it’s really only you that feels like it looks strange. There are a lot of colors I see other people wear, and I don’t even blink at seeing it, but then feel that I could just never do that, but the truth is, no one blinks at me doing it either, while at the same time, THEY are thinking THEY could never do that. What you should do is take a friend with you, put on a color, and say, “Does this look very strange or weird or like people would point?” and it probably does not.

    Unless, of course, I am totally off base and you really do feel like you only want to wear very natural lip colors. Then, there are a few that MAC carries that I can suggest that you might try, having not actually seen your lips: Creme Cup, Brave, or Twig might all be good options.

    shin ae Reply:

    That’s a fair question. I guess it’s because I’m uncomfortable seeing myself wearing makeup, so I always want it to look natural. Maybe I should try something a little more, um, unnatural. Taking a friend is a good idea. I like that.

    Of course I’m going to check out the MAC options, also, because old habits are hard to break.

    Thank you!

  11. By kathleenicanrah on May 7, 2013

    I don’t have a kid (yet) but now I’m worried that I’ll probably murder them because, that foot thing? that, stop putting your foot on me thing? Even just THINKING about it has made me all steamy mad. Twitchy, steamy mad. Basically, I’m impressed you only have a rage ball, and not a life sentence, because I’m pretty sure that’s what I’d be facing.

    TJ Reply:

    If you have a kid and he or she does not do the foot thing to make you twitchy, steamy mad, he will do something else. They don’t have much else to do but sit around and come up with this stuff.

  12. By Lawyerish on May 7, 2013

    “There’s a buttmunch loose in this house.” Best way to describe living with a toddler EVER EVER EVER.

    TJ Reply:

    I kept Phil from sleeping last night to debate whether or not it was okay to use that word, having talked myself down from “asshole,” and he kept trying to suggest puns on the word “potato” and “carb” instead, when I clearly one, wanted something along the “buttmunch” line of thinking, and two, would never use a Phil pun. Anyway, long story short, I’m divorced now.

    susie Reply:

    Kevin got mad at me a few months back for referring to Eliza – in her presence – as a buttmunch. BUT SHE IS A BUTTMUNCH. What else is there to say? So we got in this actual little tiff about it, him saying I’m going to give her a complex, me saying she should quit being a buttmunch then, and also she’s EIGHTEEN MONTHS OLD and barely knows english, etc etc etc.

    So, whatever, he calls her a buttmunch now too. BECAUSE SHE IS.

  13. By Charleen on May 7, 2013

    a) I love your disclaimer. I think I strained my eyes trying to read it (because I’m a moron and don’t think about the fact that you can zoom in on a browser unless I’m on my laptop where I’m doing it all the time on accident) but it was worth it.

    b) I picked up one of those Revlon stain/balm things you suggested. Tried it for the first time this morning… we’re 20 minutes in and it’s still there, so far so good.

  14. By Obsidian Dragon on May 7, 2013

    Penny reminds me of my horse. Bear with me–you see, if I was TAKING TOO LONG making him look pretty, and he got bored (and he was very smart and got bored very fast), he’d start fucking with me. He’d turn his head a little, so that he could see me better. Then he’d sloooowly lift his foot and sloooowly try to put his foot down on top of mine. He wasn’t stomping on me, he wasn’t trying to hurt me, he was just FUCKING WITH ME. And you can’t TELL me that he didn’t know he was driving me crazy. Or you can TELL me, but I WON’T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU. And so when you talk about Penny and her feet, I think of my horse and HIS foot games, and it makes me laugh.

    Of course I could slap my horse in the shoulder* and call him a mother fucker and, you know, it wasn’t abuse. And he wouldn’t randomly say mother fucker at the worst times, like a toddler. Oh, and I could lock him up in a box and LEAVE HIM THERE, which is definitely an improvement over a toddler.

    Somehow this does not stop me from wanting a toddler.

    Damn it. Biological urges, you will yet be the death of me. WE SHOULD STICK TO HORSES.

    *Don’t even start if you don’t know horses. Don’t even start.

    Seren Reply:

    I know what you mean. Except my mare will all out lift her leg like she is going to kick the shit out of you and slams it really hard on the ground instead. She still gets smacked when she does it but too bad horse! I want to make you pretty! You can wait to finish the rest of your damn hay.

    Marion Reply:

    Oh my gosh I laughed at this. I was the girl who read all those fantasy books growing up with the sarcastic horses, like in Road to El Dorado and Tangled, and now I TOTALLY understand where they’re coming from. Horses are assholes. Hilarious, hilarious assholes.

    Obsidian Dragon Reply:

    My horse would also untie himself, open gates, and break things for his own entertainment. Specifically, the water trough, because it would spray water in the air and he liked to stick his face in it.

    Never mind the time he systemically scattered his brushes EVERYWHERE because I took too long coming back with his food.

    …you know, our brain wiring for not murdering toddlers must be why we put up with this nonsense in the animals we love.

    (My cat is an asshole, too–she likes to stick her feet in my drinks.)

  15. By Christy on May 7, 2013

    I love your comment about being a “civilized people.” I often say things like that to my 3 year old. “You have to wear pants to school.” “WHYYYYY. I DON’T WANT TO WEAR PAAAAANTS” “BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY.”

  16. By Tric on May 7, 2013

    I did find this response helpful. Thanks! Is the toddler foot in question socked? I’m imagining a cold, clammy foot on me and losing my mind, but I might be able to tolerate it better if it were wearing socks of footie pajamas.

  17. By Melissa on May 7, 2013

    I bought a few of The Balm items on Haute Look on Friday that you linked to on Twitter(I hope you got the credit)I’m pretty excited to try them. I ordered the Schwing Black liquid eyeliner, the Nude’tude Eyeshadow Palette, and the Mary Lou Manizer Highlighter/Shadow. Last year before my wedding I went to Nordstrom and had my makeup done at the NARS counter and ended up buying $600 worth of their stuff. I still like and use a lot of it, but MAN that was a lot of money. They even talked me into blush which I never use since I have rosacea and am usually trying to remove the redness from my skin.

    jLo Reply:

    This is my problem too! I have dry skin on my cheeks and nose and they are always red or reddish, so I avoid blush because I feel like it will make things worse. I often use foundation and powder to even out my skin tone, but then the thought of adding cheek colour on top seems ridiculous, given what I’ve just covered up. I read the ‘three essentials’ bit with sadness – blush seems like fun but may be forever impossible for me. If anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated!

    TJ Reply:

    When it comes to redness/flush, it’s not necessarily just a matter of HIDING, it’s a matter of STRATEGIC RELOCATATION.

    jLo Reply:

    Hehe, I can see that logic. Maybe I should watch some videos about how to apply it properly – for optimal face colour relocation.

  18. By Katy on May 7, 2013

    “This is so exciting, Phil won’t even know what hit him!” Upon reading this I imagined Phil walking in to the house and immediately being hit in the face with a giant beach ball and being knocked flat on his back. “Wait, what just hit me?” “Surprise!”

  19. By Nicole on May 7, 2013

    See, you DID fool me. I DID read it again. Now with more video (stupid Feedly). OK, so you didn’t really FOOL me, so much as I chose to read it again. But! Previously undiscovered video was my reward.

    I am currently subscribing to the e.l.f. method and it seems to be working pretty well for me. I’m a big fan of their jumbo shadow sticks. Like my sister, using crayons seem to be the easiest way to get me to wear color.

  20. By Brooke on May 7, 2013

    Remember when Dan took a bite of my Subway sandwich and I discovered the biting at lunch and I posted a picture of it on Facebook and you responded that it was your favorite thing to happen to someone else that day (okay, you might not remember, but I do)? That’s how I feel about your potatoes. Sorry.

    TJ Reply:

    You’re not sorry!

  21. By Angela (@Aferg22) on May 7, 2013

    I have no advice for your Penny situation, but I have plenty of sympathy. I am just so sorry.

    I have been following your makeup information with interest because I am a mascara and eyeliner person, that is all. I was never taught to put on makeup because I wasn’t that into it, but now that I am 40, I think I might need to learn. I have some gift cards that need to be spent, so maybe I will venture into the land of blush and lip stuff.

  22. By Phancymama on May 7, 2013

    What are the two lipsticks on the bottom row, second and third from the left (not counting the skinny ones) that are pink/orange and look translucent? I am intrigued by them!
    And I’m not even going to start on the toddler definition of personal space. There are days I can’t stand my husband to hug me because I just want to be not touched.

    Marion Reply:

    Oh, man, see I’m on the totally other side of that. My toddler REFUSES to let me touch her. Hand holding in the parking lot is the best I get, sometimes she will allow me to kiss her before bedtime.

    My poor husband gets jealous when I’m not in affectionate mood (from him) but I’m still chasing her around screaming, “HUG MEEEEEEE.”

  23. By betttina on May 7, 2013

    I’ve never met anyone who didn’t look good in Clinique’s Black Honey lip stuff.

    I’m pale and pasty. I use foundation on a daily basis to even out my skin tone. I also use lipsticks/balm/stuff as eyeshadow. It sounds weird but the pinky-purples add a little warmth and shimmer and color to my face and it actually works for me. (I don’t, you know, use red lipstick, just the lighter ones.) I get tons of compliments when I do this. I’ve also used a bronzer sample as eyeshadow.

  24. By Ginger on May 7, 2013

    Ok, so this is where I say that toddlers? Are assholes. Yeah, I’m sorry if that offends people, but they are. THEY ARE. I love my kid deeply madly in ways I can never even explain, but you know what, some days he’s just an asshole.

    So yeah, I feel you on the Penny thing. (and ooooh, the foot thing? That would totally drive me bonkers. I give you all my sympathy.)

  25. By Elsha on May 7, 2013

    Sometimes I’ll be venting about our kids to Brian and he will be all, “Oh, they’re just kids. That’s what kids do. Their behavior isn’t a personal attack on you.” And I’m like, “OH YES IT IS.”

    (It totally is.)

    LizScott Reply:

    I just rage-glared at Brian on your behalf. GRRRRRRR!!!!!!

  26. By Laura on May 7, 2013

    I just became interested in make-up within the last year or so because I stumbled upon the youtube beauty guru world. I wanted to add that to your list of ways to build your collection. I watch many different types of women – some with budgets that I couldn’t even dream of, some that are much younger than me (and therefore have different “needs”), some with completely a different style than I do, some are make-up artists who know the ‘right’ way to do things and others that are just girls sitting at home who like make-up and want to talk about it. There are so many reviews of different products, ‘favorites’ videos where they talk about the best products, tutorials on how to use the products, etc. This really helps when you are contemplating a high priced item that promises you the world – take a look at some reviews to see if it is ‘all that’. Of course, one person will love a product and exclaim that it is worth every penny and is a ‘holy grail’ product (youtube speak for their number 1 favorite all time product in that category) and another will say that it isn’t worth the money and tell you other products that are either comparable or better. I’m still no expert, but I’m learning some things and can use that knowledge to make informed purchases rather than just go on my own judgement of what looks pretty or a make-up counter worker’s opinion on a product they are trying to sell you.

  27. By Sandra on May 7, 2013

    The potatoes and feet are cracking me up. Love her video to.
    It’s great you write this stuff down. These posts will help you remember stories to tell her when she gets older, because kids LOVE to hear stories about themselves when they were babies. “Mom, tell me about me as a baby”. They especially want to hear the funny ones, how they annoyed us, etc. Pen will receive pleasure (again) from this event even years from now. Heh.

    TJ Reply:

    I think it will be years before I can tell Pen about herself as a baby without just laying down with my face in the carpet in place of a response.

  28. By Lara on May 7, 2013

    The potato biting made me laugh so hard. Oh Penny. But I’m also sorry for you, for having to deal with bitten potatoes.

    I love following along with makeup stuff you and Laura post. I’ve pretty much always limited myself to lip stuff, foundation/powder, mascara and sometimes eyeliner (although it’s pretty much always black). I absolutely suck at eyeshadow and I’ve never liked the way I look with blush, but you guys have convinced me to try. And that I don’t need to be a pro at it to try, I just need to practice.

    Also. When you guys recommend something, or point out something that’s a good deal or whatever, I am way more likely to buy it than if I just read about it, or hear random people talking about it. So it’s helped me pull the trigger and just BUY some stuff instead of just thinking about ti.

    Also, the sample boxes have been a great way for me to play with new stuff – I would have a hard time buying a blush because I’m not sure how to use it and have no idea what colour would work on me, but if I get one in a sample box, I’ll play around with it. Ditto different coloured eyeliners, etc. Plus I like getting presents in the mail, even if they’re presents from myself.

    TJ Reply:

    I loved getting the samples when I was signed up, because I LOVE getting fun mail. But I just ended up with samples piling and piling and piling up. I STILL have some to go through and my Birchbox subscription ended halfway through LAST year. I like the IDEA of getting all the samples, but I don’t think I’m cut out for having someone else picking out all my samples. I really like reading, researching, and choosing on my own. That’s a HUGE part of it for me. I know a lot of people like to be pointed at things, like you’ve mentioned, and I get that, because there’s SOOOO much out there. I think the sifting and selecting is just as much a fun aspect as the getting and applying part, though. Having it just arrive was only fun til I opened the box and looked at it. Then I was over it and it all got shoved away and never used.

  29. By Laura Diniwilk on May 7, 2013

    Have I ever told you why I have a hard time commenting on your posts? It’s because they are so full of awesome that my mind doesn’t know where to go first and then I get commenting paralysis. For this one I will focus on the shared experience thing. YES. I honestly think that’s why I can’t quit my subscriptions. I LOVE talking about them with everyone…getting excited about spoilers, talking about which variation is best, what works and what doesn’t, what’s worth purchasing the full size. I am glad you love makeup collecting as much as I do, it has been fun chatting with you!

    TJ Reply:

    Phil couldn’t really understand why I went on my no buy if I wasn’t really having a spending problem, because his hobby is video game collecting, and a lot of it is having to HAVE. But with piling up the makeup and not using it, I was ending up missing out a lot of of the DISCUSSING and COMPARING and REVIEWING and a whole chunk of the social aspects of the hobby. He was TOTALLY MISSING THE POOOOIIIIIIINT.

  30. By Doing My Best on May 9, 2013

    This:

    “We are trying parenting and waiting for her to age.”

    Seriously, that’s all you can do.

    I read SO MANY parenting books when Ian was this age, but they were all about OLDER children. IT IS A LONG 6 OR 8 YEARS UNTIL THOSE THINGS MIGHT WORK! Really, I think the only book that could be written for parents about this age would be short and would say, “Stock up on ice cream/chocolate/alcohol and wait it out. Good luck.”

  31. By Jennielee on May 15, 2013

    Love it. I tell my kid he is disgusting at least once a day. Stop spitting your food out kid! Gross!

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