Putting on the Srs Face
February 4th, 2008 | by TJ |I know I don’t really make a habit of getting into any subject that could be considered even remotely “serious” on this blog, but from time to time things come up that just need to be said. Whether or not I am the correct person to be saying these things is yet to be seen, but the point remains that recently, this topic has been causing me a lof of through and internal debate, and I just feel like I need to get it out there in the open.
What I want to discuss today is definitely a deeply personal matter, a choice taht everyone eventually comes to in their own time, for their own reasons, and bringing it up here in such a public forum may make some people uncomfortable. I totally respect that. if you want to take a day off from this here blog, no hard feelings whatsoever. Come back tomorrow, I promise to have moved on to less “heavy” topics. And for those who do decide to stay, I want to warn you – any comments that are unnecessarily inflamatory will be deleted. Let’s all just be grown ups about this, ok?
But for now, let’s just get down to it, put it all out there.
Today, I would like to talk about…
Pirates v. Ninjas
I don’t know if I’ve brought it up before, maybe in passing once or twice, but probably not much – not wanting to get into a huge issues about it – but I’ve always been firmly in the pirate camp, myself. Eye patches, plundering and pillaging, rum… yep, definitely the life for me.
And I’ve been extremely adamant about my selection. Pirates > Ninjas, hands down, no arguments, that’s it. Forever and ever, amen. The idea of even considering the other side was laughable. I mean, ninjas? Come ON. Pirates have a big freakin’ boat and shoot cannons off of it. Ninjas have bad fashion sense and rely on sneaky, weenie tactics. Not even an argument.
But recently, Doomilias has got me started watching Naruto.
A cartoon. About ninjas. NINJAS.
Let me tell you, if there had been any kind of similar type of program but about pirates instead, I never even would have considered such a thing.
But what’s done is done and I’ve been watching massive amounts of these little kid ninjas running around and kicking ass. Having made fun of Doom for watching such a cartoon for so long, I was prepared to watch an episode or two, laugh it off, and go back to making fun of Doom.
But after watching one episode… then two… then three… I began to regret teasing Doom about his weirdo ninja-love because, as much as I hated to admit it, they were actually turning out to be kind of badass. I mean, not enough to make me leave Team Pirate, but it started with kind of chuckling a little, then staying up a little late to watch just one more battle, to me sitting upright in my bed, exclaiming “Holy SHIT that was AWESOME!” And Doom has been quite aware of it all, as he has received continuous text message updates, such as “I <3 Kakashi,” and “You were right, Rock Lee IS the shit!”
So all of this new ninja information I’ve been inundated with, almost too quickly to process it all, has left me at a point in my life that I never thought I’d see, asking questions I never thought I’d ask.
Are pirates really more awesome than ninjas?
Point by point, here’s what I’ve come up with so far, to help me through this time of mental and personal crisis:
Pirates… ride around in great big boats, with ropes to climb and a big wheel to spin.
Ninjas… leap through trees and skulk through shadows. Sneakily.
Point: Pirates
Pirates… Peg legs, eye patches, bandannas and such
Ninjas… weapon pouches, inexplicable bandages, scowls
Point: Ninjas
Pirates… get to sing sea shanties.
Ninjas… can’t sing while travelling, they’ll get CAUGHT.
Point: Pirates
Pirates… pillage, burn, plunder, steal, etc.
Ninjas… sneak, spy, assassinate
Point: Ninjas
Pirates… not for those who get seasick
Ninjas… not even for the slightly squeamish
Point: Pirates
Pirates… get parrots
Ninjas… get dogs, bugs, dragons, snakes and GIANT FROGS.
Point: Ninjas
So, guys, as you can see, I’ve found myself in a tough spot. Have any of you come to this crisis of faith at a point in your lives? How did you deal with it? Any input, insights or angles I haven’t considered yet? I just don’t know what to think.
By Bellwether on Feb 4, 2008
http://www.frozenreality.co.uk/comic/bunny/index.php?id=18
Now, what says you can’t be both? Why must we all fight?
Ninja-pirates have the best of both worlds.
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By Big Bear Butt on Feb 4, 2008
I got to take pillage and plunder over assasination, personally.
So point, Pirates.
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By Doomilias on Feb 4, 2008
http://www.realultimatepower.net
ninjas > pirates just like pie > cake. thusly, the pirates are a lie!
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By Dick on Feb 4, 2008
Well im asian so i would lean twoards the ninja. The best thing about ninja’s is you get to be sneaky and is only seen when you want to. To me that would be right up your alley TJ, you could go to work, Not be seen until that chick tries to take your lighter and *poof* karate chop to the throat, *poof* gone again and your lighter is safe. Nothing says demonic then being unknown.
Oh and when someone’s not looking, you can steal their drink! muhahaha
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By Arrens on Feb 4, 2008
Sure, poison darts and being sneaky certainly has its strong points. And I wouldn’t begrudge anyone for choosing that side of things.
But what other lifestyle lends itself to living at sea, vacationing at some of the most choice beaches in the world and being able to say the word “Booty” without being snickered at relentlessly?
Yo ho ho and a bottle of run, it’s a pirate’s life for me!
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By DrHobo on Feb 4, 2008
Its very simple…
If a ninja gets drunk, he/she sucks at doing ninja things.
WHEN a pirate gets drunk, he/she does pirate things better!
End of argument.
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By Dick on Feb 4, 2008
Baa Pirates=bird shit, cabin feaver, splinters, and mutiny
Ninja FTW
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By Trackhoof on Feb 4, 2008
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIyfALdeav0
That said, I’m going with Pirates.
Because we’ve all heard of Space Pirates. But I have yet to hear of SPACE NINJAS.
PROVE ME WRONG.
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By Daxenos on Feb 4, 2008
Pirates get their booty, but Ninja’s get PHAT LEWTZ!!! HAHAHAHAHA
oh, ftl…lol
Dax
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By AE on Feb 4, 2008
Pirates always reminded me of homeless guys, bad teeth, shitty clothes(puffy shirts need i say more) and perpetually drunk, except instead of a cardboard box..they live on boat. Meh…Plus Ninjas get to where PJ’s all the time, the only other guy I know that can do that is Hugh Hefner…coincidence? I think not!
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By Dammerung on Feb 4, 2008
I’m firmly a ninja guy. But I did want to bring up an essay I once saw on the issue:
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0121.html
SC Ghost = Space Ninja
Remember just because you cannot see the ninja… doesn’t mean he’s not there.
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By Doomilias on Feb 4, 2008
@ drHobo – this is a false statement. havent you ever heard of drunken boxing? argument? hah.
@ trackhoof – no, ive never heard of space ninjas, but ive never heard of butt ninjas either…
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By Dammerung on Feb 4, 2008
Besides:
Gaara? Rock Lee? Kakashi? Temari?
YES PLEASE.
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By BM on Feb 4, 2008
TJ if you are looking for a pirate version of Naruto. Watch “One Piece”. The American dubbed version is crap. All anime IMHO is better subtitled than dubbed. America limits what can be shown in them too much.
for the argument vote i would have to say pirates win. Any man who can drink and perform their tasks at hand better drunk wins in my book.
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By Trackhoof on Feb 4, 2008
@ Dammerung
Touche.
@ Doom
see Dammerung’s comment about Space Ninjas, and rethink that last comment about butt ninjas.
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By Doomilias on Feb 4, 2008
@ track – notice i didnt say anything about surprise butt ninjas. besides, who doesnt like surprise buttsecks?!
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By Bellwether on Feb 4, 2008
http://www.frozenreality.co.uk/comic/bunny/index.php?id=117
This better illustrates my point. :)
That being said…Kankuro and puppets is win.
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By Ida on Feb 4, 2008
I do appreciate you taking up this heavy subject to debate, and that you take the time and effort to address both sides’ arguments. However I feel that you have left out a few key points, namely the fact that pirates get rum and booty. And they get to say “yarrrrr”. I feel that these points are crucial when discussing pirates vs ninjas.
Yarr!
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By Ratshag on Feb 4, 2008
But pirates help resist global warming. can ninjas make the same claim? I thinks not.
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By Doomilias on Feb 4, 2008
http://askaninja.com/globalwarming . reduce. reuse. recycle. any more ninja haters?
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By Softi on Feb 4, 2008
Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow… nuff said ;)
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By Doomilias on Feb 4, 2008
christian bale as batman (and yes, batman is a ninja)
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By Chaninn on Feb 4, 2008
Whoa! no one’s mentioned pirate wenches yet… corseted pirate wenches drinking rum!
Pirates FTW!
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By Mana Battery Bitch on Feb 4, 2008
Do female ninjas get cleavage? Cause female pirates sure do.
Also, Captain Jack Sparrow. That is a point in and of itself, mmhm.
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By Fiordhraoi on Feb 4, 2008
I say that if it is drunken revelry and debauchery that is your thing, go with pirates. But for those of us who enjoy utter martial superiority and world domination, ninjas win. Case in point:
http://www.drmcninja.com/page.php?issue=2
For specific pages, look at
http://www.drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=30&issue=2
http://www.drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=33&issue=2
And most especially
http://www.drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=42&issue=2
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By Arrens on Feb 4, 2008
@Fio – You mention drunken revelry and debauchery like they’re bad things. Frankly, I applaud most things debaucherous and drunkenly revelrous. (Is that a word? I don’t know, but I’m going with it anyways.)
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By Fiordhraoi on Feb 4, 2008
@Arrens
Oh, I enjoy the occasional drunken debauchery. But I tend to do it like a ninja – not in public, and only with close, trusted associates (some call them “friends,” if you must).
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By kakalaki on Feb 4, 2008
Yes! Another Naruto convert! How anyone can say Pirates are better than Ninja are beyond me. Ninja are far more superior. There are far more cool stuff to do as a ninja, like this example.
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By Aryzel on Feb 4, 2008
I’m definitely having to go with Pirates, drunken revelry and debauchery seal the deal. Pirates just have more fun, simple fact.
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By Mana Battery Bitch on Feb 4, 2008
Very good point there. You can be a pirate while drunk out of your mind, but you can’t do a good job stealthing or assasinating when have a hard time fitting the key into the lock of your own front door.
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By Fiordhraoi on Feb 4, 2008
*sigh* Classless, unsophisticated rank amateurs. You know what they say about simple pleasures.
And besides, ninjas have a TON of fun. After all, you can’t spell slaughter without laughter!
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By harl on Feb 4, 2008
while I can see ninjas enjoying certain job satisfaction and I have the utmost respect for their martial prowess, I firmly believe that pirates have more *fun*. drinking, wenches, pleasure cruises, booty (see wenches)… how can these things be wrong? pirates even have their own holiday. ninjas can’t compete with that.
point: pirates.
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By Doomilias on Feb 4, 2008
fio, when dealing with the pirate mentality…wait, nevermind. that would suggest some semblance of intelligence.
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By Fiordhraoi on Feb 4, 2008
I’m sorry, what was that about ninjas not having their own holiday?
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By Ratshag on Feb 4, 2008
/cheer [target=drunken revelry]
But I will concede Fio raises a good point with the slaughter/laughter issue.
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By Kolan on Feb 4, 2008
I suppose it comes down to what you enjoy the most. Quietly hiding in the shadows and sneaking around stabbing people or charging in loudly with all guns blazing. To use a WoW comparison..
Ninja = Night Elf Rogue
Pirate = Drunken Dwarf Warrior
Personally I’m a hunter so I fall somewhere in between. Drunkenly standing at range, loudly blazing away! lol.
I do think however that a pirates life is somewhat more exciting. Drinking, singing, swashbuckling! FTW. While a ninjas life is more one of discipline, solitude, brooding and revenge.
BTW Swashbuckling is a very cool word. Ninja’s can never Swashbuckler!!!
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By Trollypollie on Feb 4, 2008
Pirates ftw! Drunken singing, eye patches and hook hands all the way. I dream of someday sneaking into the harbor comandeering a houseboat and setting sail! Im a Pirate for life!
p.s.
I buckle a pretty good swash if I do say so myself.
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By ailtia on Feb 5, 2008
all I have to say is
“YAR!!!!!”
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/
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By Clapus on Feb 5, 2008
It’s Mardi Gras. What’s my point? I’ve been a pirate 3 times, never been a ninja. Besides pirates drink grog, the most perfect Mardi Gras drink. Ninja’s drink….rice wine? Well at least you can drink saki warm.
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By Hielo on Feb 5, 2008
Im in the exact same boat, i was an unequivocal fan of pirates until the point i discovered Naruto (and to some extent Bleach aswell… another wholey recommended show if you like Naruto) that my faith started to waiver… and now i cant decide. Each have their plusses and few minuses, the debate could go on for eons…
on a sidenote, im looking forward to the pirates vs ninja’s dodgeball computer game!
@DrHobo… watch the episode with Rock Lee against Kimimaro(sp?) and tell me ninja’s cant fight drunk… it is quite possibly the funniest fight ive seen in my life.
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By Trackhoof on Feb 5, 2008
@ Kolan
But don’t forget our superb melee abilities and traps, which are incredibly ninja-esque, yet reek of pirate awesomeness.
@ Doom
Naturally, everybody enjoys surprise butt secks, so I’ll concede you that point. But if you’re a ninja, it has to be a surprise, so you can’t pull it off and yell “YARR! IT BE TIME TO PLUNDER YOUR BOOTY!” the way a butt pirate would.
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By Beaker on Feb 5, 2008
Guys Guys Guys….you seem to have missed the point entirely.
Yes pirates and ninjas are awesome but….JEDI PWN THEM ALL!!!! lol
seriously which would u rather be…a pirate (who has social issues and is liable to be hung at some point) or a ninja (whos love of shadows probably stems from an unloved childhood where he or she was locked under the stairs during daylight hours) or a frickin JEDI…im serial!!! u get a lightsaber and can use mind tricks to get free beer….nuff said.:)
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By Corwin on Feb 5, 2008
pirates are all about fun, but ninjas get the job done :)
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By Lynda on Feb 5, 2008
Pirates have their own day too!
Honestly, TJ, the only thing I could think of when I read this is “I wonder if she is exalted with the Bloodsail Buccaneers for the pirate costume and bird.”
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By Fiordhraoi on Feb 5, 2008
Jedi are simply Ninjas in space, with cool weapons, but an unfortunate moral hang-up.
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By BRK on Feb 5, 2008
Lynda, if TJ had ever finished the Wintersaber Rep Challenge, the Bloodsail Challenge would’ve been next.
Where IS our dollar for that, anyway?
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By AndyC on Feb 5, 2008
All this bickering is getting us nowhere. There is only one way to solve this. I know it, and now you will know it. On the Dodgeball court:
http://www.piratesvsninjas.com/
I am in no way affiliated with the peeps making this game, but I’m all kinds of behind playing the snot out of it.
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By Sternumus on Feb 5, 2008
Pirates and ninjas can co-exist. I just know it. I will now present supporting evidence.
http://www.stanford.edu/~scodary/tkam.htm
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By Mike on Feb 5, 2008
I think you all may be forgetting about the part where pirates spend months at a time in cramped, stinky quarters out on the high seas, suffering from dysentery and scurvy. Not sexy.
Ninjas, by contrast, are land based, get to enjoy superior japanese cuisine, have regular opportunities to bathe themselves, and do not have to endure fighting with rusty weapons. There are also the hawt (and flexible!) female ninjas to consider…
The evidence has been weighed, and based on purely objective standards, ninja quality of life clearly surpasses that of pirates =)
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By Pies! on Feb 5, 2008
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Pugwash
wins the day in my opinion
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By Tigersoul on Feb 5, 2008
AAAHHHH!!! Too many good points for both sides!! BTW I must say, that if you were basing the whole WAR on the picture posted here… That pirate would totally lose to Kakashi. No chance of that pirate there winning that match… sorry.
I too am one who has been slightly taken out of the pirate camp thanks to Ninjers like Naruto and co.
@ Mana Battery – Do Ninja Chicks have cleavage?!?! Do a Google image search for Tsunade or Kurenai (also from Naruto) and see for yerself! o,O
So basically I can’t decide. :(
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By Dammerung on Feb 5, 2008
“Jedi are simply Ninjas in space, with cool weapons, but an unfortunate moral hang-up.”
Yep.
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By Ratshag on Feb 5, 2008
“Pirates ate my monkey” – 0 google hits
“ninjas ate my monkey” – 1 google hit
advantage: ninjas (unless yer allergic to monkey, then pirates)
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By Lynda on Feb 6, 2008
BRK, I think the only thing that has stopped me from the Bloodsail grind is that it would be so similar to the Wintersaber grind.
But you know, pirate costume, pirate bird….I figured it was a possiblity.
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By MercyRose on Feb 7, 2008
I’ve gotta admit, if I had to choose between Pirate and Ninja, I would go with Ninja… Black is slimming. Yep, that’s what it came down to for me, haha… But there’s no rule that says you have to choose one or the other… In fact… Imagine all the fun of beng a new and improved Pinja. You could sail the seven seas in search for booty and never get caught!!!!
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By Anezti on Feb 7, 2008
Ninjas ofc.
Pirates:
Got lice in their itchy beards, dismembered body-parts replaced by bad prostethics (hook, peg-leg and patch), WILL get the bird-flu from Polly, and have a serious lack of women (at least willing ones) combined with teeth that rot, stinky breaths, cheap booze and a generally bad disposition.
The question is, how can anyone LIKE them?
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By Teh Khol Abides on Feb 9, 2008
The answer to this age old question is in the form of another question: When was the last time you saw a ninja with wenches?
Pirates FTW, end of discussion.
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