One of those posts where you put a whole bunch of unrelated items together and hope that by the end a cohesive theme appears.
May 28th, 2010 | by TJ |Hello! It’s Friday! What do you think about that?
We’ve been in our new place for coming up on three months now. It’s very different. even the simplest things are still exciting. Being able to run a load of laundry whenever we want. Being able to really use the main areas of the house without feeling confined to our bedroom or office. Cooking and doing the dishes after we eat, instead of having to do everything very quickly, all at once, and scampering upstairs to eat. The water doesn’t get shut off for non-payment every other month. No one does laundry right outside out bedroom at midnight. Pants optional. You know.
Removing the main source of stress and tension in our lives, however, has not removed ALL of the stress and tension. In fact, it probably revealed stress and tension we didn’t even know was there while we were dealing with our previous living situation. However, stress and tension is much easier to bypass now – previous clenched-teeth conversations behind closed doors can now be full on yell-fests stretching the length of the entire house. It’s much more efficient. Anyway, the whole “everything will be perfect once we move” thing has certainly not held true, but our lives are still 137% better than they previously were.
Sheldon is a lot to handle. He’s a sweet dog. He really is. But we had to put him on some medication for his bad kennel cough, including a steroid which makes him have to pee a lot. Yesterday, he was outside playing in the yard and I was on the phone with my mother when I noticed something Phil and I had both missed – he had lifted his leg in the night and peed out the side of the crate, all over Phil’s computer area. Oh, man. So while I was cleaning that, on my way to get more paper towels? I looked into the back yard and Sheldon was OUTSIDE THE FENCE. I had to run, y’all. Actually run. With my FEET. Now he’s tied down outside, carefully measured so that he can’t attempt the fence and choke himself. When I went out to get his bowl this morning, he play-bit me so many times I had to scamper out of his range. I’m covered in bruises from his “play” bites. Being here alone with him during the day is difficult, since he’s so large but still has the tiny puppy mentality. We’re looking into some seriously heavy duty training options, so that, frankly, he will be safer, sooner.
Anyway. While I was running? WITH MY FEET? I was reasonably certain that I was going to die from it, which is one of my top 3 reasons for not running. You have to admit, highly likely potential death is a pretty good reason to avoid exercise. However, much to my dismay, I did not ACTUALLY die. I just felt like I was going to. This made me REALLY angry with the dog, but not dead. Therefore, that only leaves two of my top three reasons not to run. Reason #2 – My only sneakers are 3 year old sneakers from the children’s section at DSW. And #1? If I run, people might SEE ME DOING IT. At this point, I would rather not exercise than be seen exercising. Now, buying shoes is a simple matter. The being seen thing, though? I either need to figure out a way to become invisible or find a way to convince myself that it’s not such a big deal. Any help on either invisibility or rationality welcome.
McDonald’s has Shrek glasses. I’ve collected three in two days. Why we didn’t just buy them all in one trip, I don’t know, but I will complete my collection this evening, on a trip for $1 sundaes. If you are ever stumped as to what to buy me for my birthday, an entire set of whatever glassware your local fast food restaurant is selling would be a good bet. If you hate me and want to indicate that you hate me in the most efficient way possible, send me an incomplete set of glassware from your local fast food restaurant, and send it to me right after they stop running the promotion. My life will basically be ruined. Now, today, after I finish my Shrek glass collection with the Fiona glass (I don’t even like Shrek, y’all. I mean, I don’t DISLIKE Shrek, but I have no particular Shrek affinity. I just like fast food restaurant glassware.), I have a decision to make. Should I collect a second set? Our local McDonald’s has all four glasses available now. What if I start to collect set two and they run out of one kind? Or I start the second set and we just don’t end up going for $1 sundaes enough to complete it before the promotion stops? You guys, it’s really stressful to be me.
On the wedding front, the ladies are ordering their bridesmaids dresses this week-ish. That’s nice. Yesterday, my cousin and sister were at the bridal salon to get measured and place an order, and the shop called me to confirm that it was okay with me that they buy those dresses. Like they were both about to get measured, order a dress and throw down a lump of cash with ill intent. The bridal salon lady was not especially amused when she asked me what color they were supposed to be and my response was, “Uh… ask them? I’m not actually sure. Whatever. I’m not involved.” I’m looking into invitations now, but haven’t actually done anything about them. I don’t even actually know what time of day my wedding is. That’s been pretty much the theme of wedding planning so far – I haven’t done anything. Sure, some of the major things are done – date, place, DJ, photographer, my dress, bridesmaid dresses. Other things, though – I look for ideas and have thoughts a lot, but I haven’t actually done anything. If you have a favorite etsy person or other reasonably priced graphic designer that I can check out for potential invitation creation, I would enjoy that.
You know what I haven’t done in a long time? Read a whole book. I don’t see how that can be. I am exactly the type of person who should be reading books. I work at home on my own schedule. I don’t have children. I don’t have many (er, any) social obligations. I joined the Book Lushes and I got stuck on The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It’s sitting on my nightstand, half-read. Same with a whole TON of other books jamming our closets in the boxes we’re pretending we don’t notice so we can proclaim that we’re completely unpacked. I don’t know what is going on. I took a butt ton of books out of the library and didn’t read any of them. Not even the cookbook. Do I need to enforce Silent Reading time, seventh grade style? Maybe I just need a better book. And by “better,” I don’t mean better in any kind of real sense. I mean better like, more likely to grab my low brow, fickle, flighty reading tastes. Maybe it’s time to admit that I have no desire to be enriched by my reading material and return to shameless entertainment of the bodice ripper variety.
So. Summer time. It’s basically here, right? I don’t have any summer plans. I don’t really do vacations. Sometimes people find that weird. I don’t like to travel. I actually kind of resent the notion that everyone must want to travel, or there’s something terribly wrong with them. I’m pretty sure a lot of people claim to love travel or have added “see the world” to their life list (do I have to clear my use of that term with anyone?), but are really more like me – content to stay at home. I can think of three types of travel I do/would like. Casinos, cruises and resorts. You don’t have to go anywhere. It’s all right there. I can go for that. I have no desire to go places. We’ll end up overseas at some point, and that will be fine, but it will be where I live.
Speaking of travel? I think a lot of the reason I’m not interested is because of how superior people get about it. You know. “Oh… you went to France and saw the Eiffel Tower? How… cute. I mean, when I was in France, I stayed in hostels and spent the whole day wandering the streets, ducking into little cafes where only the locals go.” You know. Those people who think they somehow had a more authentic experience because they wandered into the path of people trying to live their every day lives and annoyed the fuck out of the people who actually live there. It’s those same people who automatically place restaurants they refer to as “a hole in the wall” or “mom and pop” place above anything well known. Those people who believe that the more well known a location, restaurant or experience is, and the more people who have enjoyed it, the less real it becomes. If you’re one of those people? You’re really, seriously and truly annoying. And probably smug. Sometimes those places have shitty food and THAT’S WHY no one else goes there, ok?
I’ve decided I want to learn to take better pictures, and that decision has actually caused me to not pick up my camera much any more at all. I haven’t taken a single snap of Phil’s thumbs in a week. The thing is, though, I’m not interested in learning how to take those super extreme close ups of leafs and shit. And the world has enough people taking pictures of flowers. It’s not technical stuff I want to learn how to do, I can make my pictures look more technically pretty with editing. I just want to learn how to take a picture that is… what’s the words, where the picture doesn’t suck because it’s not all cluttered with random stuff and it’s a nice angle and all the right things are in the picture and nothing that shouldn’t be in the picture is in the picture and, ok, let’s admit it, my dogs fit nicely in the frame without too much or too little space around them, with an appropriate background? I don’t know what that’s called, but I’m pretty sure you have to be born knowing how to do it.
Anyway, that’s pretty much what I’ve got going on. I had more to say about stuff like the AZ immigration law, fat acceptance, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and, I don’t know, circumcision, but I’ll save those for another day.
OH ONE MORE THING? You may have noticed a commenter here who uses the name, Phil’s Best Friend and it is pretty much always hilarious. Anyway, that guy? He just got back from Iraq, after having to spend more time there than he was originally intended to AND being delayed by a volcano. So, you know. Hooray!
By Willow on May 28, 2010
It’s nice to hear that life has improved immensely. Congrats on the newest addition and good luck with the training.
If you like bodice-ripper/historic-but-still-buttloads-of-fun type books, check out the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. It’s an entertaining concept for a series of books. I’m on the fifth.
Phil’s Best Friend – LOVE your posts, and very glad you made it home safely! Woot!
Fair winds! ~Willow~
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TJ Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 2:21 pm
I actually have one of the Outlander books somewhere – inspired to dig it out now!
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By Sarah on May 28, 2010
Okay, So I don’t know if you have Publix over there, but it a grocery store here in the South.
I cannot, CANNOT, go into Publix and not get a Sprite from the soda fountain machine because I am convinced it is the best Sprite ever, and all other Sprite’s taste less appealing comparatively. I one time drove to a Publix across to town to another because the fountain machine was out of order, so now, every time I go in I have anxiety about it being out of order….
In other words, I understand the Shrek glasses.
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TJ Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
Haaaa! I feel you on SPECIFIC fountain soda. There ARE differences!
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By Melissa on May 28, 2010
Hooray for Phil’s Best Friend!
I LOVE restaurant glassware! My parents have a cabinet full of Smurf and Muppets and Fraggle glasses from when we were kids. I might have to sneak some away when I’m there this weekend.
I feel like I have more to ramble about, but I have to go and pack and do laundry and stuff.
Have a great weekend TJ and TJ’s commenters!
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TJ Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 2:19 pm
My parents have a collection, too!
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By Alex on May 28, 2010
YES on the whole travel thing. I hate how snooty people get when they talk about travelling and act like if you don’t travel you’re just so much less of an awesome person then they are. Are you kidding me? I’m sorry but I’d rather take that money and spend it on anything but plane tickets, hotels and crappy food. (That being said I am 100% excited about our honeymoon.)
Horray for Phil’s Best Friend! Welcome home! And how nice is Melissa (above) to wish us all a great weekend? You too, Melissa! <3
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TJ Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 2:17 pm
High five. I don’t like travel! I still count as a person.
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By Vronak on May 28, 2010
“I either need to figure out a way to become invisible or find a way to convince myself that it’s not such a big deal. Any help on either invisibility or rationality welcome.”
That thing you did when you took your picture every day? The stockholming thing? What if you took your picture every day while running? You’d get used to it pretty fast!
Oh. Maybe have Phil take the picture.
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TJ Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Like I’d ever let Phil see me run!
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By kath on May 28, 2010
Aw man. I found that Dragon Tattoo book hard to finish, too. I’m not even going to try with this month’s Red Tent because I read that one before and HATED IT with the heat of a thousand fiery suns.
But if you’re looking for a fun little romp, I recently read John Scalzi’s The Android’s Dream and enjoyed it quite a bit. And, okay, this is from the juvenile section of the library, but I have loved reading The Edge Chronicles. Just a cracking good series, and a fast read to boot.
I don’t have any words of wisdom regarding the exercise. Being seen is my thing, too. I can’t even bear to exercise if my husband and children are around.
When I was in seventh grade, I had a teacher insist that triangles (created by the arrangement of the picture) made for more pleasing/interesting photo composition.
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TJ Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 2:15 pm
I am a big fan of the YA stuff, definitely appreciate the recs.
I am GOING to finish that dragon book!
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Liz Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
Ok, look, I’m not proud of this, and, well, frankly, our blogger/commenter relationship is quite new and this could be the moment where we both realize it’s never going to be more than what it is and I suppose I’m ok with that, but man, it makes me nervous putting myself OUT THERE, you know?
(Um. Right. Whatever, I’m tired)
ANYWAY: Check out the Sookie Stackhouse/Charline Harris/True Blood books. I just so thoroughly enjoyed the non-enriching yet totally pleasurable experience that series is.
I tried to read the Red Tent, but it was such a chore. I went back to my sookie stackhouse books and gave myself permission to enjoy the lowbrowness.
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By Tawnya on May 28, 2010
Okay, about the dog thing, he may settle down after he is there for a bit because he has been in a shelter or kennel for a while now he is in a house where he can run and play! The peeing thing I think is marking his territory. The Shrek glasses, I have 3. Donkey, Shrek, and Fiona. I want the rest of them! The exercise thing, sorry don’t do it unless bodily harmed, i.e. someone is chasing me. As for the book thing, I could not even get into the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, not my thing. I love mysteries. Welcome home to Phil’s Best Friend and THANK YOU for your service!! Can not help with the camera thing… Sorry!
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TJ Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
You’re just one away on the Shrek glasses! All you need is Puss!
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By Katie on May 28, 2010
I think the photo thing is called composition, and my idea of composition is there’s one thing in the middle, and everything else is unimportant. I know what it’s called, but not how to do it.
Books: Jennifer Wiener writes some fun “chick lit” that’s not quite bodice ripping but also doesn’t make you think too much. And if you’re into youth books, Frank Beddor’s “The Looking Glass Wars” are really good, even if the third is a little slower than the first two.
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TJ Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 1:16 pm
I do like Jennifer Wiener – I’ve read some of her stuff in the past. Chick lit is an excellent idea. Maybe it’s the warm weather, I think I’m in the mood for that kind of thing.
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By Pyewacket on May 28, 2010
You need to deal with Dr. Cooper’s biting issue. He’s too old to still be play biting and far to large. And what happens if he escapes again and play bites with the kids in the neighborhood.
If he plays with you like that, you need to turn your back on him and ignore him. You can ‘yip’ like a dog in pain (when he bites) to see if it helps to sink it into him that he’s hurt you and you won’t play with him when he does that.
Figure out what motivates the dog as well – is it a toy or food? Try to get him interested in a toy that you can use to reward him with – food works to but a toy is better in the long run.
The other thing is – exercise him like crazy – tire him out and then try and do some training with him – simple stuff like sit and down. For Training, check out Sit means Sit – I’ve watched these guys do demo’s but I’ve not had a dog go through their classes. They look interesting but I’m not sure on their cost. I have done Phoenix Field and Obedience Club – they are reasonably priced – the classes I took were downtown – check their website – they might offer them on the west side of town. They give good basic obedience.
Good luck with that large pup – I’ve got 3 in the 70-80lb range and that’s large enough for me.
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TJ Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 2:08 pm
Believe me, Sheldon’s biting is priority number one. Thanks for the trainer recs – we are going to get him in somewhere soon.
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Pyewacket Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Oh and I take back the Sit means Sit rec – Looks like they advocate the use of shock collars :( While I want a well trained dog – I don’t believe he needs to be shocked to get there.
I’ve also done Partner’s – they are up North though (south side of Cave Creek) but it’s pretty much the same training as PFOC though.
I’ll ask around at my agility class and see what people say for dog trainers in the area as well.
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By Lara on May 28, 2010
Oh, I love to travel, but yes – travel snobs. Ugh.
I hope I don’t sound like a jerk when I talk about traveling but I also get peeved when people think I’m being smug when I do talk about it. I mean, I’m *allowed* to talk about something awesome in my own town, but if it’s something awesome in country X, I’m being smug? (Not saying this is what you are saying AT ALL, it’s something I’ve run across elsewhere – like reverse travel snobs).
People who know me know I’m not smug but I have seen people roll their eyes at me when I say I’ve been somewhere. It’s unfair that I’m not allowed to talk about a memory I have just because someone else hasn’t been there. Of course I would fully deserve an eye-roll (and a smack) if I said “Oh man. I guess you wouldn’t understand, since you’ve NEVER BEEN THERE” but I don’t even THINK that, let alone say it.
Anyway, my biggest smug traveler pet peeve is when someone goes somewhere on vacation and then says they have “lived” there. In fact, it’s petty of me, but it’s what led me to stop reading someone who may or may not be a big fan of The List, if you catch my drift.
If I read “Oh, that time when I was living in South America…” and then I read further and it turns out that you went there on vacation for a few weeks, I’m going to want to smack the smug right out of you, honestly.
“Have I told you about that time I lived in Japan? Well, actually I spent the night in an airport hotel in Tokyo, but I bought a Coke out of a vending machine with Yen! Oh the culture! Amazing! I am amazing, aren’t I?”
No, no, no. No, you are actually a giant, dare I say “mighty”, pain in the ass. The end.
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TJ Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 2:05 pm
I read this sitting in a Discount Tire waiting room and almost mighty peed my mighty pants.
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Julie Reply:
May 29th, 2010 at 6:54 pm
I was chatting to a couple who act as foster parents (?) to overseas exchange students and it was really interesting. Apparently in a lot of asian countries, Japan especially, one serious measure of status is how many countries you’ve visited and lived in. Some kids come for just a month or a term, just so they have the stamp in their passport, then move onto another country.
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By Aunt Dani on May 28, 2010
Well, there is a method for running invisibly but it’s mine and I’m pretty sure you won’t want it even though I’m willing to share. 4 AM. Anyone who happens to look your way at that moment is in no condition to know what they’re seeing or remember it later.
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By Awlbiste on May 28, 2010
Speaking as a person who lives in a tourist town: STAY IN THE TOURIST AREAS, TOURISTS. Fuck almighty you’re annoying taking up space in my residential area.
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TJ Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
I felt the same trying to get to a meeting in DC. I can’t see a monument from here! WHY ARE YOU HERE?
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By Anne on May 28, 2010
On exercising invisibly, my strategy is to use exercise DVDs. I like yoga, the 10 Minute Solution series, 30 Day Shred, and can be sold on pretty much anything divided into 10-20 minute increments for the lazy.
My photographer husband talks about composition, framing and color balance. I also like the rule of thirds. Also if you’re taking a full-length picture of someone don’t cut off their feet, and don’t cut off someone’s hands.
Finally, have you read Maureen Johnson (YA)? Do you like dystopian future stuff? The Hunger Games series is addicting and there’s so much more of that genre out there. Jennifer Cruisie is fun chick lit; Three Girls and Their Brother and The Privileges are fun rich-society-folks gawking.
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Anne Reply:
May 28th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Also! I like to think that walking doesn’t really look like exercising and thus isn’t nearly as humiliating as running in public.
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By Evie on May 28, 2010
Oooh the “play” biting was a big issue when my dog was a puppy, as well.
Something that worked for me was using “bitter apple” spray on my arms and feet. You can buy it at any petsmart or walmart. It leaves a horrible bitter taste that dogs hate and it discourages them from biting. It’s not too expensive and is worth a shot!
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Bitter-Apple-Spray-8-oz-Dogs/3635337
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By mjb on May 30, 2010
My brother did my wedding invitations, and I tend to think he’s pretty good: http://www.flickr.com/photos/matthew_art/sets/72157623060469847/
You can send him a flickr mail or I can give you his contact and stuff. He’s very reasonable and flexible.
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By JEC on Jun 2, 2010
I had the problem with wanting to be invisible while running. But I honestly enjoy being outside more than I like running indoors where no one can see me. So I just made myself get over it (for the most part…I still probably try to take less traveled paths). Some possible suggestions:
Someone mentioned walking. That’s where I started and it feels a lot less awkward to be seen walking than running. Once you get comfortable with that, run for small parts of the walk and gradually increase it. It’s like the Stockholming thing–you make something feel normal. Then push it a little further until that becomes normal. Eventually you’ll be running and it’ll just feel natural. Or natural enough to overcome the need to be invisible, anyway.
Secondly, instead of seeing someone pass by in a car and thinking “Gawd, that person must be laughing at how ridiculous I look”, I started thinking “They probably aren’t even paying attention to me. And if they are, they probably are thinking about how awesome I am for caring more about improving myself than how I look.” I still probably look goofy when I run, I’m just a goofy lookin’ person…but I have much less to be self-conscious about than I used to have.
Alternatively, if you don’t have enough faith in people to be able to adopt this idealistic outlook on what a stranger is thinking about you, use it as motivation. When you pass a stranger, know that for sure they are laughing at you behind your back. How dare they! What kind of jerk does that? Make them eat their stupid, demotivational, dumb thoughts!
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By rc on Jun 4, 2010
If you’re just collecting them you may not care, but you might not want to drink out of those Shrek glasses. I heard an NPR tid-bit about them this morning. Turns out there’s Cadmium in the painted designs. A quick google of “shrek glass recall” turns up a lot of nearly infoless blurbs in a variety of news outlets.
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