Olds, sockies, all of the books, and puke-related genius.
January 12th, 2012 | by TJ |So you know what gets more smiles from strangers than a dad carrying his baby daughter through the grocery store? A dad in uniform carrying his baby daughter through a grocery store. Honest to pete, my face is sore from all of the polite smiles I had to return trying to walk through Safeway the other day. All these people were glancing at Phil, looking back over their shoulders at him, nudging whoever they were with and jerking their head in our direction.
“Look! A man with a baby! A man in UNIFORM with a BABY!”
I GET IT, IT’S ADORABLE. HE FARTS IN BED, THOUGH. THEY BOTH DO. JUST SO YOU KNOW.
I’m not mad. I’m just bitter, probably. Whenever I take Penny through the grocery store, I get some smiles, but mostly a train a passive aggressive olds telling Penny to tell her mommy that her feet are so cold without sockies! So cold! Tell her you need some sockies! Sockies for those feet! Tell her, “Mommy, my feet are so cold here in the store! I need sockies for my feetsies!”
Phil, though? Phil in uniform? All smiles, no mention of sockies.
*****
I think I use Goodreads more than I use any other socially networky thing right now, but there is something that will eternally bother me about Goodreads. I think I’ve talked about it here before, but I’m talking about it again. What are you, the blog police?
Anyway, I had several false starts with using Goodreads (I’ve been member since 2009) and didn’t really get into it heavily until recently, because I got TOO OVERWHELMED. It’s a simple site, but I, like most people, have been reading books for about a berjillion years. That’s roughly 30 berjillion books.
So, I would start listing books that I’d read, and pretty soon, I’d become hopelessly overwhelmed with the task of adding EVERY BOOK EVER. I don’t think I ever even got to one berjillion. So I’d give up. If I couldn’t add them all, I JUST WOULDN’T ADD ANY.
Coincidentally, that’s very similar to the stance I have on eating potato chips, but usually goes the opposite way.
So the only way I was able to make Goodreads work for me THIS time is to tell myself that I would only list books from that point FORWARD. I have a couple of favorites listed, but aside from that, I WILL NOT fall down the rabbit hole of books that I’ve read since the dawn of time.
This makes me constantly self-conscious, though, that people will think I started reading at 29. I COULD READ BEFORE THEN. I just can’t allow myself to tempt insanity by remembering every book I’ve ever read, because I can’t just list SOME of the ones I read before I started using Goodreads. It’s none of them or all of them. That’s how it has to be. IT HAS TO BE.
Sometimes, someone I follow rates a book. A book I READ, pre-Goodreads attempt 47. And it’s right there. No searching necessary. It’s right there on the home screen. And all I would have to do is just pick a star rating. One click, and there it is. Added to my books. That’s not so bad, right?
EXCEPT IT IS. The only way I can use Goodreads at all is by telling myself that I have an UNDERSTANDING with the larger Goodreads population. We ALL AGREE that I read books before I started using Goodreads, but I haven’t listed any of them. We just AGREE that it HAPPENED.
If I go ahead and list one, the agreement is BROKEN. Now there’s one listed. And that can lead people to assume that sure, I read books before I started using Goodreads. Or, more accurately, I read BOOK.
No. No. I can’t add any of them. So they pop up in front of me, and instead of clicking, I sit here in front of the computer and worry that people are going to think I HAVEN’T READ THAT BOOK. Then I remind myself of the agreement. But I READ THAT BOOK.
You guys, I’m just saying, it’s hard being me.
*****
So I’ve been preparing for PJs@Tj’s, which is now in less than a month, and in my every waking hour, I find myself thinking about tiny details, which stack upon the other tiny details, which add berjillions of things to my mental to do list, which I haven’t actually started, other than cleaning out the pantry, and I don’t see why anyone would really be in my pantry anyway, so, right. I have not gotten very far yet in the whole “preparing the house for a pile of guests” thing yet.
But I’ve been thinking about it, which we all know is half the battle. And here’s something I’ve been thinking: a while ago, we got this hand soap we really liked. It was some kind of Soft Soap, and the smell was blackberry vanilla. Or black currant and pears. Or something and something. Anyway, it smelled great. Next time we were at the store, though, and needed soap, we just got one of those big old refill jugs, and we’ve been refilling the same bottles – one in the bathroom and one on the kitchen sink.
So, while the bottle says you’ll be washing your hands with a delightful mix of berries and puffy clouds, it’s actually just generic soap smell.
And I wonder, does that make the soap a lie? And, as a hostess, am I being rude with this bait and switch? This soap and swap? This scrub and… drub?
Seriously, I have 18 women descending on my house in less than a month, and this is what is keeping me up at night.
*****
We’ve made a plan. Well, not so much a plan as a plan to make a plan. We’ve decided that when Penny is about five, we’re going to take her on a Disney cruise and a stay in Disney World. We figure we’ve got to plan that far out so that we can save up the money, because I’ve always said that when we do take her to Disney, we want to go ALL OUT.
I mean, we want to stay in one of the hotels right there, so that we can go back to rest as needed. And we want enough days to do everything we want. And I want to take her to that place where they do her up like a princess. We want to be able to throw money around like we have it. Sure, you can have a $75 Mickey balloon! Oh, you let it go? That’s okay, here’s a $115 ice cream sandwich. Wipe your face with this napkin, it was only $5.
We’ve also emailed both of our families to extend an invitation to join us, because, why not? We’re planning far enough in advance that everyone can make it, if they wanted to.
But just today, I started thinking that there needs to be more to this plan than just saving the money and picking a cruise.
ONE – We’ve got to start watching Disney movies, post haste. This shit is not going to be even a LITTLE BIT MAGICAL if Penny doesn’t know who the hell Ariel is, you know what I mean?
TWO – I’m thinking that by the time she’s two, two and a half, I’m going to want to start working with her on developing a real allegiance to one of the princesses.
I know you’re about to get your Internet dander all up, what with the princess culture! And teaching appropriate values! And rabble rabble! And girl power! And all of that. And to that I say this: Look. Shut up. Because, come on. Did you grow up thinking that you were an actual princess? I mean, did you grow into the total warped asshole of a she-witch that the anti-princess culture people seem to believe will result from exposure to made up, cartoon fancy ladies? By the time you were of reasonable age, did you understand that your suburban town house bore little resemblance to a castle and no one cared when you lost your stupid shoe?
You did, right? You turned out to be a functioning adult? With only a moderate number of tiaras? AND managed to also enjoy Disney movies as a child?
Yeah, so, now that we’ve established that THAT’S possible… I’m thinking Belle. Or maybe Ariel. I mean, Ariel’s a pretty predictable choice, but come on. Obviously the superior princess.
THREE – We’ve got to concentrate on NOT raising an asshole at all, even more so now. Because we’re not going to tell her we’re going until we’re about to leave. You know, like all those YouTube videos? So, we’re going to want a really sweet, really genuine reaction of joy from her when she finds out we’re about to blow all of our money ever on a cruise and a trip. And then we’ll put it on YouTube.
FOUR – I probably have to get a passport.
FIVE - I should also probably learn to swim.
Anyway, I’m already excited. Four or five years is just enough time to build this up in my mind enough that I completely ruin Penny’s enjoyment of the whole thing by trying to force some FREAKIN’ DISNEY MAGIC on her at every turn.
*****
LASTLY, we are considering joining the YMCA. Which seems silly, you say, because there are 800 gyms on base, but look. I can’t go to those. I just can’t. I know people say, “Everyone is there to work out! No one is looking at anyone!” But come on. People look at people. It’s human nature. And while we’d all like to think that no one cares, just a few days on Twitter will net you at LEAST three people saying, “At the gym today… ” and commenting on someone they saw. It’s not always mean or even… anything… but it belies the “no one is paying attention!” crap. So while I’d like to be one of those, “Whatever, I’m above all that” people, I’m not. I cannot go to a gym on base, full of people whose job it is to be in great physical condition.
And I really don’t want any more of that “no but really, no one is paying attention to anyone else” stuff. I know you’re lying. You know you’re lying. There’s no point in trying to get someone to go exercise where they won’t be comfortable, because they will try it once or twice and not be able to stand it, and then, worse than the guilt of not trying, you have the guilt of QUITTING.
So is it silly to pay for a gym membership when you can go to a gym for free? I don’t know. I don’t think so. My mother has had a membership to the Y for a berjillion years, and there’s a gym in her office building. She wouldn’t go to that one. She wouldn’t be comfortable. So it’s the choice of paying for a place you’re comfortable, or not working out at all. So far, the choice for me has been “not at all,” so I’m beginning to be quite convinced that paying for something that is also available for free, in this case, is not totally ridiculous.
It’s not, right?
*****
I can’t think of where else I’m ever going to work these in, and I need more people than Phil to appreciate me, because he doesn’t laugh, he just says, “Yeah, that’s funny.” Even when I can see him TRYING NOT TO LAUGH. Won’t even give me the courtesy of a laugh. Anyway, two things I have come up with recently, regarding Penny:
1. Count Yak-ula.
2. She had a yak-cident.
Tags: babies, books, disney, freakin magic, get over your damn self it's not a big deal, join me in my paranoia, military life, olds, olds who need to worry about their own damn sockies, paying for free things, princess shmincess, puke-based genius, raising non-assholes, someone's going to take personal offense to this, the Penny sensation sweeping the nation, times my genius wasn't appreciated
By Amy {babybabylemon} on Jan 12, 2012
I was never in to super disney princess bonanza, but most likely because I grew up right before the big resurgence. I had Ariel and I knew I wasn’t a mermaid.
You know what influenced me more? The book A Little Princess. I grew up convinced that my parents weren’t really my parents and I was secretly a princess.
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By Kira on Jan 12, 2012
The passive aggressive olds are just impressed that Phil is carrying the baby right side up, not dragging her on the floor whilst clutching her heel. Isn’t that CUTE? The helpless adorable daddy is playing PARENT! I do not understand their preoccupation with socks. Do they not remember the sock battle? Baby’s feet have magical sock-repelling powers, and this is even before they discover the joy of yanking them off. But it is very upsetting to them.
And yes, people totally watch you at the gym. And judge. At least, I do. But not for any of the things you probably feel self concious about. And the plus side is that you are already AT THE GYM. So you are pre-fortified with smug. I don’t know, it works for me.
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By Diane on Jan 12, 2012
The girls are CONSTANTLY changing which princess is their FAVORITE. And heaven forbid you bought them socks for their Christmas stockings two weeks before Christmas with Belle and Cinderella on them in their appropriate sizes and then when it gets to be Christmas week they have SWITCHED who likes which princess best so then you have to go EXCHANGE the $1 socks because it’s just not worth it to RUIN CHRISTMAS over WRONG PRINCESS SOCKS. (Which, okay, they aren’t BRATS, but this is CHRISTMAS MORNING. I wouldn’t expect them to throw fits, but there will be no DISAPPOINTMENT on Christmas morning! Not SOCK-RELATED, anyway.)
I vote for Belle. Except, I don’t know. I don’t think Belle would support your Goodreads rule. She’d feel the need to add that damn book for each of the times she read it. YOU KNOW SHE WOULD.
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By MLE on Jan 12, 2012
I’m all for joining a gym you’ll actually be comfortable using. Like you said, you aren’t using the free ones because you aren’t comfortable there. So it’s like you don’t have a free gym option at all, really.
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Becky Reply:
January 12th, 2012 at 12:16 pm
This.
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By Kate on Jan 12, 2012
I’m not into the princesses – more because of the consumerism aspect – but I have seen all of the movies, I believe, and I think Rapunzel, from Tangled, is the best princess. Easily. It’s good that I think that, since my daughter is sort of obsessed with the soundtrack.
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By Sarah Lena on Jan 12, 2012
Okay, so *I* think Ariel is the obviously superior princess (she is why I have red hair, hand to Jeebus), but. BUT NO ONE LOVES ARIEL. I was honestly disappointed at Christmas because my mom wrapped my and my sister’s present in Disney Princess wrapping paper and NO ARIEL. Oh, sure, Belle and Cinderella and that stupid Sleeping Beauty hoe were all up on there, but no Ariel. LAME.
So, I’m just saying: eternal love for Ariel comes with disappointment.
Also, we love our YMCA. Aside from it being family-friendly (both the boys do sportsy stuff there), I also feel better that our monthly fee goes back into our community or helps underprivileged local kids get involved in sportsy stuff. So, there’s that.
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By kakaty on Jan 12, 2012
I’m usually one who doesn’t give a dad any more credit than a mom for parenting, but even I would break at a dad in uniform with a baby. They are smile-worthy alone (a person in uniform; a baby) but together, COME ON!
The Y thing. I totally love the Y. And no, it’s not ridiculous – I have free access to 2 qyms through work but I pay a lot to go to another one with child care and classes and kid programs.
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By Chelsey on Jan 12, 2012
As a kid who grew up in north Florida and consequently has more family pictures from Disney than from her hometown, I fully support the Disney plan. It’s basically what I plan to do with my kids if we don’t live in Florida (and oh how we won’t)
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Ashley Reply:
January 12th, 2012 at 10:56 am
Hey, I grew up (and still live) in north Florida! And would you believe I can count the number of times I’ve been to Disney World on one hand? It’s shameful.
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Chelsey Reply:
January 12th, 2012 at 12:49 pm
That is sad.
My parents always had meetings in Orlando, so we’d pack up the car and off we’d go!
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By bessie.viola on Jan 12, 2012
Oh, the princesses! I can’t help it, I love them too. My daughter will be 4 in February and oh holy hell, the princess love she has is FIERCE. It is difficult to get her to claim allegiance to ONE princess, however. She claims to “love them all.” However, Belle, Ariel, and Rapunzel are big front runners in our house. OH and Tiana, she LOVES that movie. So yeah… I guess she has a Top 4?
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By Julie on Jan 12, 2012
Pay for the gym. Seriously. There’s no reason on god’s green earth to torture yourself by going to a gym populated by people who get disciplined if they aren’t in shape.
I once spent a VERY uncomfortable two years going to a gym populated by 19-year-olds who were also … my students! Talk about making the changing room feel unsafe in about sixteen different directions.
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M Reply:
January 12th, 2012 at 1:13 pm
… wow. That sounds horrid.
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By Ashley on Jan 12, 2012
We just started looking at Disney cruises (for this year!) to take our three- and four-year-old on and now you’ve made me realize their Disney movie education is woefully lacking. The only princess of whom they have any knowledge is Rapunzel. Add another step to the pre-vacation to-do list!
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By Amanda on Jan 12, 2012
I will try to contain myself, because I freaking love Disney vacations. We took our oldest on a Disney Cruise when she turned 5. Best. vacation. ever. I’m totally not kidding. We went on a cruise/WDW this spring also with our 2 kids. They loved every minute of it. My oldest is 9 and she still remembers things from the time she was there at age 5. Definitely a good age to make memories. The key to the cruise – and I can not stress this enough – is to book when rates are released. It’s expensive, but you will get a better rate. If you are even thinking of it, book a dummy date, make a deposit and move the date around as needed. OK, I’ll shut up now. LOL!
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By Zoot on Jan 12, 2012
1) It’s not just the gym. Last summer I kept seeing tweets where people would complain about someone’s nasty feet and how they shouldn’t wear flip-flops. Made me a total freak about wearing flip-flops all summer. When I blogged about it? “No one cares!” LIES.
2) I just paid $130 to basically join a running group. I’m paying money to people to organize other stupid people together so we don’t run alone. Your gym membership? Is completely sane in comparison.
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By Brooke on Jan 12, 2012
I vote for Ariel. I can’t make an argument for my decision without getting into the shit you said to shut up about. So, yeah, Ariel.
Also, yak-cidents suck
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By Linnea on Jan 12, 2012
I think Aurora gets named as my favorite princess because I like so many other things about the movie–Maleficent, Prince Phillip, the horse, the 3 fairy godmothers who do more than just show up to bibbity-boppity-boo on one day. But really, other than some singing, the only thing Aurora herself has got going for her is my favorite Disney dress ever (except maybe Tiana’s from the Princess & the Frog… because of the lily pad thing). Ariel is far superior in terms of creativity & stuff.
One of my main reasons for wanting a treadmill to live in my house is that I am much more comfortable walking in front of just my cats & husband than any of the general public.
The regulating of a baby’s temperature through the use of blankets, hats, socks & whatnot MYSTIFIES me. Do they cover that in some class somewhere? Do you just learn to like… listen to your baby to see when they’re too warm/cold? Do minky diapers make them warmer?
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Francesca Reply:
January 13th, 2012 at 4:00 am
YES SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER THE TEMPERATURE QUESTION.
-Six months pregnant and bound to either boil or freeze her baby whoops.
P.S. My boyfriend is Aurora. He had a curse put on him by an evil witch as a baby. The curse is to permanently have icky, wound-prone feet. Luckily, the bibbity-bobbity-boo fairies gave him quick-healing feet, so he’s usually only got one wound going at a time.
(I am not weird for making all this up.)
(My sister is weird for believing it.)
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Amy R Reply:
January 13th, 2012 at 1:54 pm
To accurately see if a baby is cold or hot feel the back of their neck. And I hate all free parenting advice you get in public. Except for the lady that gave me potty training advice, but she is in the middle of this particular hell too, so she wasn’t judging just sharing
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By Cherie Beyond on Jan 12, 2012
If I’m being honest about the princess thing, I’ll admit that a lot of my anti-princessness comes from just not wanting to deal with princess demands. Because she has never seen the movies, the girl, who is four just FYI, doesn’t really KNOW who they are. Obviously, she’s in daycare so she sees princess stuff and knows their names. But she has no other reference for them, so when we bypass the Princess Aisle in a store she’s like, “Huh” and then moves on.
But I know this kid and if we were to watch the movies, suddenly it would be all, “Mommy! Look! Ariel! I need Ariel! I need her! Mommy mommy mommy I need her! Mommy mommy mommy please please please Ariel Ariel Ariel” and so on until my head explodes.
So I’m just avoiding that fight altogether. This is my plan. So far, so good.
I’m thinking next year I’ll start her. That way she won’t be a total clueless dork in kindergarten. Well, not for that reason anyway.
And I’ve always been partial to Belle.
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By Rebecca (Bearca) on Jan 12, 2012
We are taking our almost 4-year old to Disneyland for her birthday and doing some sort of princess dining thing. Yesterday, when I told her about it, she said to me all suspicious-like: “Mommy, are they REAL princesses, or are they just…regular grownups?” Like she would be disappointed that they were FAUX princesses who DO NOT possess actual royal pedigrees.
Whatever, kid. You’ll like it, trust me, even if they are Just Regular Grownups masquerading as princesses.
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By Delicia on Jan 12, 2012
I’m 100% with you on GoodReads.. I’m an AVID reader, and I started trying to add books I’d read (BIG mistake) and got overwhelmed and completely stopped using it. I may try again using your approach.
re: YMCA. That’s absolutely cool. First, anyone you know on base will probably be using the base gym, so you won’t have to run into them at the Y and make awkward small talk when really you’re just NOTICING things about them (because yes, we all do).
Second, in my mind the YMCA is for.. normal.. people. I mean, I’ve had a membership to Bally’s Total Fitness, and the (other) people that went there were all what I’d call “the beautiful people”. The people that you look at and go, why the hell are you even working out your body is ABSOLUTELY FIT (ps. I hate you) that then makes you SO self conscience because you don’t look like that and you never want to go there again. The YMCA seems to be where the non-models go to work out, and it’s easier to feel less awkward about my less-than-stellar body as I’m moving and sweating. Plus, they’re just about the only gym around here that has a pool, which is a BIG plus for swim lessons (all 3 of my kids learned to swim through the YMCA).
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By Charleen on Jan 12, 2012
I totally understand the Goodreads thing because I was that way myself, all or nothing. Fortunately for me, “all” is a somewhat viable option, once I set up ground rules as to what “all” means:
1) Nothing I read for school, because I didn’t actually read most of it, and even the stuff I did, I barely remember, so it’s like I didn’t read it at all.
2) Nothing from childhood, because I know I read a TON, but aside from BSC and Nancy Drew, I really don’t remember.
So instead of “from this day forward” I went with “since I started reading again for pleasure as an adult,” but I’m confident I actually remembered all of them, since I didn’t read all that much before I started with Goodreads.
Long roundabout way of saying, I don’t think you’re crazy.
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By Life of a Doctor's Wife on Jan 12, 2012
GoodReads – yes, that is the CRITICAL FLAW with GoodReads. (It’s also a critical flaw with my house, because my house does not contain all the books I’ve ever read. Which is a real failing. I want people to come over and say, “wow, you’ve read a lot of Nabokov books!” and also “wow, you’ve read a lot of R.L. Stine books!”) But just for some market research, I NEVER see someone on GoodReads and think about what she HASN’T read. That doesn’t even enter my brain. In case that helps soothe your anxiety.
Disney – Who is The Best Princess is a very serious discussion. I for one prefer Snow White on a moral basis – she seems the most selfless and appears to have the best work ethic. But I ALSO love Ariel, mainly because she is a hoarder and I can relate to that.
Paying for a Gym – I paid for a gym membership once when I had a free gym about 30 feet outside my apartment door. And I didn’t even have a good REASON for not using the free gym. No one else used it anyway. But I just needed to pay to DO THE GYM. So I don’t think it’s dumb or weird or a bad idea.
Count Yak-ula – HA!!!
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By Melospiza on Jan 12, 2012
1. I have the same problem with Goodreads, except since I keep forgetting and failing to add the books as I read them I get a complex about that, too. Plus rating? It turns out I can’t actually rate books. If a book bores me to tears I will reluctantly give it four stars or *maybe* 3 (and doesn’t that mean “neutral”?) I would be the easiest grader ever.
2. Dude. She will totally pick a princess and will brush off any attempt you might make to influence her. That’s what my daughter did, anyway, and as we know, all babies are all alike ever (no, but for true. By three she had the princess thing Figured Out, and which ones were the best, and second best, and whoo boy, don’t even TRY to think about ethnic diversity. Or brown hair.) (At the ripe old age of 7, though, she’s mellowed and has a more expansive view.) (Kinda).
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By Issa on Jan 12, 2012
I wanted to do Disney this year but I think we’re doing a cruise at Christmas instead. Maybe in a few more years. I hear five it the perfect age. I think if you’re going to do it, going all out is the way to go. I like that way of thinking.
Okay so I read this whole post and signed up for Goodreads and right away I could only come up with two books I’ve read. WTF? I read THREE books in the past week and I can’t remember them.
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By jonniker on Jan 12, 2012
As a very non-princessy mom, I’ll tell you that it’s pretty inevitable and hard to avoid ANYWAY and you know what? IT IS FUN. Sam isn’t into any of the Disney princesses yet, per se, as she just hasn’t yet developed an affinity for any of the princessy type movies (she’s hung up on Shrek, and I had nothing to do with it).
HOWEVER. She is SO INTO dressing up like a princess and you know what? IT IS SO FUN. She has crowns and dresses and high heels and bracelets and necklaces and earrings (clip-on) and I seriously think it’s the best thing ever. She’s also into pirates and monkeys and dogs and Bob the Builder, but while I sort of wanted to avoid the princess stuff when I first had her, now I am all, BRING THEM ON, because they are FUN.
And yes, I’m sorry, no one actually grows up to be a princess or has those expectations. FTLOG, I’ll bet even Margaret Thatcher watched Snow White and fantasized about it.
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By Melissa on Jan 12, 2012
Oh thank GOD for you and your GoodReads stance. I joined it recently, actually because of you and another person that recommended books and I couldn’t figure out how to keep track of what I wanted to read. So I joined. And then I panicked because I couldn’t possibly find and mark all the books I’ve read EVER. So I’m also, just NOT doing that part. I mark the ones I’ve really liked and am now also just going forward.
The gym. It’s your call. If you’re really that uncomfortable pay for a gym you like. For me – i’m just too cheap and I’d either suck it up and find a way to go for free, or i’d buy a treadmill (which I did).
Disney is awesome. We took our girls at 2 and 7..and we’ll go again in a few more years so the now 4yo can remember more. We aren’t doing the cruise, but I have friends that do it every year and love it. And you’re smart to plan ahead.
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By Sasha on Jan 12, 2012
I am a YMCA fan. It’s actually doubly good (I’ve found) for avoiding being judged, and maybe even doing some good judging yourself, because it seems to attract older people and people who aren’t very enthusiastic about working out. I’m almost always the best in the cardio room! Plus: pool!
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By cakeburnette on Jan 12, 2012
LOL…I’m from Taiwan, so obviously Mulan is my favorite princess. After watching the movie, I (and hubby) are convinced that my ancestors came to Taiwan from the Mainland and that I MUST be a descendant of the original Mulan. ;)
I use the base gyms if I decide to leave the house to work out. You would be surprised how few people in there look fit. But I say do what makes sense to you! I have quite a few friends who say actually paying for a gym membership makes them guilty enough to work out.
Love the two things you came up with. Phil is a dork.
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By Tessie on Jan 12, 2012
I totally pay attention to other people at the gym. I mean, I hope in a positive, encouraging way, but there’s nothing else to DO at the gym but pay attention to other people. It’s that or pay attention to your BODY, and FUCK THAT.
I have a free gym membership at my workplace, and I have ALWAYS been a member of (at least one) other gym as well. I like options, and there are just some things you don’t feel like doing in front of your coworkers.
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By Leigh on Jan 12, 2012
Paying for the gym is a great motivator! Plus, the Y has all kinds of classes and cool things that you and Penny can do, so you get more out of it than just a place to work out.
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By Kara on Jan 12, 2012
Jasmine is hands down the best. She has a tiger. (That’s basically my only argument.)
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By LizScott on Jan 12, 2012
The base gym is not free, in that you don’t use it, you will never use it, therefore you cannot accurately compare a cost per use of the base gym and the YMCA. The base gym, for all intents and purposes, does not exist for you.
(The basegym is a dot to you!)
Sorry. Anyway. If you will use the Y? Great money spent. Go for it and feel not guilty, because as far as I understand it, the base gym is not a part of your world and thus not a factor.
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By LizScott on Jan 12, 2012
Oh, also? My stepdaughter as youngun was a princess, all the time. Pink walls. Frily dresses. Pricesses everywhere.
Now at 14 she’s a Nine Inch Nails/Muse/Nirvana listening teenager with black and white paint on her walls who is HEAVILY BORED WITH THE WORK OF EXISTING. So, you know: I think any amount of princessing is reversable.
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By Kara on Jan 12, 2012
1. A man with a baby is always cute. A man in uniform with a baby is awesome.
2. I’m obsessive about Goodreads (please see my rated 975 books). Now that I can scan the ISBN code with my phone, even more so. Oh, I add all friends, so http://www.goodreads.com/keen23
3. I’m joining Curves, because LA Fitness intimidates the crap out of me, and I can deal with a regimented 30 minute workout. My first workout is tonight!
4. Best Princess- Rapunzel- chick can throw down with her frying pan. Second best- Jasmine. But most of them are really too stupid to live. Fiona from Shrek would be an exception, but she’s not Disney I don’t think. Mulan is also kind of awesome, because she wants to be a warrior.
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By Natalie on Jan 12, 2012
Wow, I just got the tweet about a new post and I show up to find 30+ comments. Yay!
Just wanted to say, some friends took their 5-year-old to Disney (not a cruise though) and went all out like you’re saying, princess treatment and all, and they all loved it so much that they now have a line item in their budget for it so they can go every single year. Seriously. So, just be warned. You can get addicted!
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By M on Jan 12, 2012
If you’re not going to use the base one, regardless of the price, then pay for one you will use.
My gym membership allows me to go to any of the [gym name] in the area, and the closest one is about 2 minutes from my house. But I always go to the one that’s 15 minutes away, because I’m more comfortable there. And there’s nothing like feeling uncomfortable to ruin your motivation to work out.
Actually, I was thinking about this the other day. The reason I feel uncomfortable is because I feel like people are looking at me and judging me. But doesn’t that mean that I’m judging them, assuming that they will be judging me? Then I start to feel bad for being exactly the type of person that I don’t like being around at the gym.
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By rsngphoenix8 on Jan 12, 2012
Ok not to nit pick—but yeah I’m gonna anyway–Mulan isn’t a princess and Aurora isn’t even really part of her own story. “Second only to Dumbo (who didn’t speak at all), this Disney title character has very few lines of actual dialogue throughout the entire film, which is actually about the three fairies who protect her, not about the Sleeping Beauty herself. Rose/Aurora is only featured in the film in very few scenes and hardly says anything. Her first line is spoken 19 minutes into the film, and her last is delivered after she learns of her betrothal 39 minutes into the film. However, she does sing two songs during this time frame.” (IMDb) Which is sad. I’m all for Belle. She’s about family values, character over looks, and knows the treasure found in books. Also, she doesn’t fall in love at first sight–that always annoyed me about some of other princesses. Anywho, stepping off my Disney soap box now.
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Amy K Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 6:48 pm
Now that I’m older, Belle seems like a snob. She’s all, “I want so much more than what these simple townspeople do in their boring, meaningless lives. I want adventure…like sitting around reading books in a castle. It’s waaaaaay more meaningful and daring than living a normal life in this provencal town.”
She’s still my favorite Disney princess, though.
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rsngphoenix8 Reply:
January 17th, 2012 at 7:36 am
Maybe you could think of her as the French provincial Amelia Earhart. Disney doesn’t really let us know how old she is, but we say nothing of teens who want out of their small towns to make something of themselves. I mean you can’t really blame her for wanting more than popping out Gaston’s “6 or 7 strapping, young lads like [him].”
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By Meredith on Jan 12, 2012
The Y lets you pay something pretty cheap, like maybe $7, to get in without a membership. I joined the Y and then didn’t last a full year and quit two times, so I have resolved that if I ever get the urge to join again, I will start out by paying per trip for a few weeks to help me decide if it’s really worth it. So that’s my recommendation: don’t join right away, just start going for a while first. AND it’s January, so there’s probably plenty of free passes floating around as they try to get the New Year’s Resolutions people in the door!
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By Elsha on Jan 12, 2012
I had a VERY hard time when I joined Goodreads because I wanted to add ALL the books. But I’ve read a lot of books in my lifetime and I can barely remember what I read last year unless I write it down so I had to give up that idea. I do occasionally add old books, but I definitely don’t seek them out to add them.
We’re already planning our first Disney trip for 2015 (Kalena will be 6 or 7 depending on when we go.) So far her favorite princess is Tiana, although she did put on two princess outfits the other day (one on top of the other) and tell me that it was so she could be Cinderella AND Sleeping Beauty. Personally I was always partial to Ariel, because I have red hair.
I don’t think it’s ridiculous to pay for a gym if you’d be more comfortable there. Especially since, what good is a free gym if you don’t go?
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By Swistle on Jan 12, 2012
I HATE that the dads get only admiration and love-eyes, and the moms get the criticisms and the sighs. SO UNFAIR, society.
My mother-in-law was a champion with the “Tell your mommy” stuff, OMG. It’s so extremely tempting to do it RIGHT BACK: “Tell Grandma to butt the hell out! That’s right, sweetie! Say, ‘My feet aren’t cold, you interfering old bat! And quit trying to boss my mommy through me, because I don’t appreciate being made your unwitting ally!’”
I’m with you on the princesses. I liked playing princesses, and yet grew up without any disillusionment about not in fact being a princess. I think I was in on that part of it the whole time.
I don’t think of it as paying for something you could get for free, because what you’re paying for is the anonymity, which you can’t get for free. PLUS, if you pay for the Y, you’re supporting a non-profit!
THE SOAP IS A LIE. You’d better get some true soap before they arrive.
Yakcident. Entering circulation…NOW.
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By Lise on Jan 12, 2012
I love yak-cident. I sing the Raffi song “Baby Beluga” to my spitty granddaughter as “Baby Bulimic.”
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By Jess on Jan 12, 2012
I have started replying to the sock comments by saying, “Oh, he had socks, but he just kept taking them off, so I gave up.” People usually take them to mean that he was wearing socks, like, a few minutes ago, and now they’re in the diaper bag. And that is usually enough to get them to leave me alone. They don’t understand that what I mean is WEEKS AGO he realized he could take off his socks and I haven’t bothered putting them on him again since.
(I mean, yes, when we take him outside and it’s freezing, I put him in these little fleece booties with velcro that he hasn’t yet figured out how to remove, but they are a huge pain to get on and off and they’re too thick for him to wear while he practices standing and walking, so I only use them when it is REALLY COLD and he’s going OUTSIDE. And that is it. And yes, he takes off his Zutano booties too.)
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By Sally on Jan 12, 2012
I used to go to a gym that was mostly military and it was horrible. It’s not about THEM watching YOU, it’s about YOU having to look at THEM doing things that are a bajillion times harder than you could ever do for their warm-up. It’s so discouraging. My main criteria for a gym is that there be a possibility that I might not be the most out of shape person there. That is absolutely worth paying for.
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By velocibadgergirl on Jan 12, 2012
What is the DEAL with old ladies and babies’ socks? I got bunches of comments about my poor baby and how he’d “lost his socks!” during his first summer. SUMMER. It was ONE HUNDRED FIVE DEGREES and he couldn’t walk. What the hell did he need socks for, I ASK YOU?
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By Josefina on Jan 12, 2012
(1) Those people in the supermarket drove me nuts when my kids were smaller. I finally did have to tell one that no, he actually is MY child and I can decide how he sits in the cart. NO, REALLY. I WILL BE DECIDING. (All caps because she protested. Seriously.)
(2) I remember and respect your Goodreads stance. It has made me question my own Goodreads policy at times. I see the wisdom, is what I’m saying.
(3) I am a soap refiller. It is elegant economy (stole that phrase from Cranford), at least that’s what I tell myself. Unless YOU want an excuse to buy your nice soap again, which will also be elegant economy. Because it’s Softsoap. The ladies of Cranford would approve.
(4) I’m nervous to tell you which princess I identified with, because your choices are way hotter. Okay, it’s Cinderella. I still love all the blue. Also I think it’s the only princess movie I saw when I was growing up.
(5) There were gyms at my university I couldn’t bring myself to use for the very same reasons you discussed. I’m sure the price of the Y would be worth it.
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By Peggy on Jan 12, 2012
Re: joining a gym when you have access to free ones: I totally get it.
We are on the broke side (not poverty level broke, just broke in that I’m a full time student and my husband has a shit-load of student loans such that his multiple-of-3 figure salary whilst living in New Jersey doesn’t go nearly as far as it could because more than our rent a month goes towards loans), but I want to join a gym. I have access to gyms at school (granted a 40 min drive one way, which makes going on days that I’m not on campus a bit of stretch) as well as access to the gym at my husband’s work-site (only 15 minutes away, much more feasible) for free, but I am not happy with either of those situations. I want to go to a gym that offers classes, lots and lots of them, because I’ve found that to be my best mode of working out.
So, when I heard that the hubs decided he wanted to try archery and bought a $400 BOW, I decided that we could swing me having a gym membership. Guess which one of us is going to stick with our chosen activities longer? (Hint…it’s not going to be him.)
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By LemonFresh on Jan 13, 2012
I was a member of Curves for a long time, and then when I moved to go to university last year I let my membership lapse. I was determined to go to the gym at school – it’s one of the best facilities in town, and I already pay for it with student fees! I deluded myself for the whole school year that I was going to go to this gym.
And then during the summer I said, “To heck with that,” and joined Cuves again. Now I work out regularly! It’s all about finding something that you are comfortable with.
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By A'Dell on Jan 13, 2012
We went to Disney World when Claire was about 18 months old and it was terribly obvious that we hadn’t done a good job of brainwashing her prior to the visit. Disneyland at just before 3 years old was better, but still no OMG NEMOOOOOO! moments.
Brainwashing takes time, dude. Five should be good.
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By A'Dell on Jan 13, 2012
Also, Claire puts her shoes on the wrong feet all the time and it makes old ladies INSANE. “Your shoes are on the wrong feet? Does Mommy know???” Oh, shut up.
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By cindy w on Jan 13, 2012
I think you can hold off on Disney princess exposure until Penny is, like, 18 months old or something. Trust me, it doesn’t really matter if you deliberately expose her to it or not anyway. SHE WILL KNOW WHO THE PRINCESSES ARE. It’s genetically programmed in the toddler/preschool girl set.
Personally, I love both Belle and Ariel. But the two most recent princesses (Tiana from Princess & the Frog, and Rapunzel from Tangled) are probably my favorites as far as being the most well-developed characters. Worth noting: the prince/love interest is also really well-written in both movies, whereas in past movies, the males usually just show up to marry the princess at the end. (Case in point: the prince in Snow White, who literally sings to her at the beginning of the movie, then he shows up to wake her/marry her at the end. His song is, “One song, I have but one song…” I sing it as, “One scene, I have but one scene…”)
I actually have way too many opinions on the Disney princess folklore. I need to shut up now.
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By Mandapanda78 on Jan 13, 2012
I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty much an expert at Disney World. If at some point in your five year planning you have a question, just ask. I friggin love that place.
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By Patty on Jan 13, 2012
I love seeing little girls in all of their princess finery. They don’t realize someone is watching, and they will be twirling their skirts, and living in their own little princess world. So cute. So sweet.
Your daughter is precious. I love seeing pictures of her, She looks a lot like Phil, so I have to admit I would give them a big smile in the store also.
I think the uniform is like living in a total different world. Although my husband tries to avoid it, sometimes he has to stop somewhere while in uniform commuting home from the Guard. People try to buy him his coffee, one guy even went in and prepaid his gas fill-up. I imagine they would pay his mortgage or car payment if they saw him with a little baby girl that looks so happy just like him.
Love your blog.
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By Amy R. on Jan 13, 2012
On the Disney trip, the military has an R&R hotel on site. My inlaws (FIL is retired Air Force) took the nieces there a few years ago and said that it was great. The staff even gave them tips on what to do, where to stand for the parade/fireworks for a good view and an easy exit, etc. Don’t know how any of that works but I would definitely look into it. And save all your money for the special meals “breakfast with mickey” or “lunch with princesses” etc. those are supposed to be a blast! Also if your kid dresses as a character the Disney staff go out of their way to make a big deal about them everywhere.
And the soap is not a lie, but I so know where you’re coming from!
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By hp on Jan 14, 2012
Goodreads…yep that is where I’m at too. Except I’m even weirder. One year, I challenged myself to read 365 books that year. So I did. As soon as I hit 365, I was all “I’m so tired of this mess” and haven’t entered a book again. I read–I still read–but my goodreads account looks like I read for 1 year of my life. Talk about a complex. I went all OCD and did my life’s reading in 1 year. This year, it is knitting. My Ravelry board is going to be awesome…except it will look like I did all my life’s knitting in 1 year (and it won’t be 365 projects because I am slow).
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By Sister on Jan 15, 2012
So I was just talking to mom and dad today about how I could probably never save up enough money for the Disney trip, and that I don’t even KNOW where I’ll BE in five years, and then you go and say you’re going to take Penny to that place where they do her up like a princess. What choice do I have now? What choice?
Also, the GoodReads thing, UGH. It is too late for me. I am continuously wracking my brain trying to think of the books I’ve read. And when I remember one I need to add it IMMEDIATELY. It doesn’t help that we still don’t have bookshelves, so all of my books are in BOXES in the BASEMENT and I can’t refer to them. Our company must think we’re illiterate. Or just assholes who don’t read.
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By Lippy on Jan 15, 2012
I have the same problem with goodreads. Also not sure how the friend thing works, stressful. We took our older two to Disneyland when they were 4 and 7. It was so awesome, best time ever. There is a princess area(?) anyway, you wait in line, and get your picture with 3 different princesses. They have one of their photographers take pictures, and we have some pictures of Maddie, and you can see the sparkles in her eyes. We did that at least once everyday of our trip. They also have a Jedi training, and I have a picture of Owen fighting Darth Vader. We went a few months later with my whole family for my Mom’s 60th birthday. Our youngest was 18 months and she was not as into the whole thing.
The princess stuff just comes naturally. I am totally an actual princess, I am sure my real mother and father will be coming along to claim me any day now. Rapunzel FTW.
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By LucilleDee on Jan 15, 2012
Belle was always my favourite princess with Ariel in close second, I managed to get though life without wondering when my mermaid tail was going to grow or when a cursed beast was going to snatch me into his castle despite dressing up in sparkly dresses and tiaras, it’s just part of being a little girl. No one takes issue if a little boy decides he’s a Prince Charming. Although I do kind of wish Mulan had come out when I was little, because she is awesome.
I have the same problem with gyms, there is a perfectly good cheap gym right near me but I know a lot of the people you go to it, I don’t want them to see me exercise and I also don’t really want to see them, I’m much more comfortable in the slightly further away slightly more expensive place.
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By Erin on Jan 17, 2012
I have the same issue with Goodreads, and that is why I’m not too active on it. Also, because I don’t have time to read anymore.
I will not judge you for your soap because we also use the pretty bottles + the refill jug.
And I would totally join the Y because you are right — everyone is looking at everyone. Or even if they aren’t, it is impossible to feel like they aren’t staring at you, which is why I do not belong to a gym. Jillian Michaels and her 30 Day Shred may make me want to die, but she can’t actually judge me for having muffintop.
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By -R- on Jan 17, 2012
I grew up wanting to be a nun because of The Sound of Music. I used to pretend to be a nun all the time. But I am not a nun. I don’t even own a habit!
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By Laura Diniwilk on Jan 21, 2012
YES on the Goodreads thing. I’ve been on (sporadically) since 2008, and I have the exact same deal with myself – it’s for ME, to keep track of shit I want to read but can’t be trusted to actually remember when it’s time to pick our next book club selection. It is NOT an accurate representation of my taste as a whole.
I also get weird about the rating system. Like, I’m not a chick lit person, so when I AM in the right mood for some chick lit, my rating is just for that genre only. So Something Borrowed might be okay FOR WHAT IT IS, but I’m not saying I liked it as well any book in pretty much any other genre with the same rating. But then I get all bent out of shape about it, LIKE ANYONE IS EVEN LOOKING AT MY DAMN RATINGS, MUCH LESS COMPARING THEM AND MAKING JUDGEMENTS ABOUT ME.
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By Lauren Adkins on Jan 25, 2012
I LOVE your blog!! I’ve been having so much fun reading this :)
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