Not on MY BUTT
December 5th, 2009 | by TJ |I refused to buy this, even though it was the most cost effective (without being horribly functionally ineffective), because it doesn’t even make sense:
“Ultra Softly” what?
You are certainly not “Ultra Softly” toilet paper, because that doesn’t make grammatical sense. You cannot BE “Ultra Softly.”
You can DO something “Ultra Softly” and unfortunately it goes against my sensibilities to buy toilet paper that describes how it does what it does.
Come on, toilet paper. We all KNOW what you’re for. Do you need to be so graphic?
Or are you just being “Ultra Softly?” Because that doesn’t make any goddamned sense.
Ultra Softly, if that IS your ridiculous name, I have never had a paper product offend me so deeply, on so many levels, in my entire life.
By Miss Medicina on Dec 6, 2009
Do you find yourself sitting at the Wendy’s drive-thru, glaring at the sign that says “Eat Great, Even Late” trying to figure out whether or not it is grammatically correct?
I do. Therefore, I am choking with laughter regarding “Ultra Softly”.
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TJ Reply:
December 6th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
I never pondered the “Eat Great, Even Late” until just now.
And now I can’t STOP!
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By Alicia @bethsix on Dec 6, 2009
My husband’s name is Bradley. I want to scream when people leave out the E and make him an adverb.
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TJ Reply:
December 6th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
I’m trying to think of a way to work a “bradly” adverb into conversation.
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Alicia @bethsix Reply:
December 6th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
“Wow! I found a really bradly folder at Target!”
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By Adrienzgirl on Dec 6, 2009
Where the hell do they find these marketing folks anyway? Are they homeless people? Drunks? What?
Ultra Softly my ass!
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TJ Reply:
December 6th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
SERIOUSLY. If marketing basically amounts to throwing some nonsensical words together and collecting a paycheck, sign me up because I do that EVERY DAY.
FOR FREE.
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By Franchi on Dec 8, 2009
This reminds me of one of my wife’s favorite rants regarding the injustice of the dreaded “10 Items or Fewer” lines. I sent her the link and expect a rapid response…hehe
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TJ Reply:
December 8th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
I want to hear the response!
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By Stephanie on Dec 8, 2009
I’m STILL at a complete loss to learn how store managers around the country cannot distinguish between “less” and “fewer”! I really would love to boycott every store that had a “10 items or less” sign. But alas, I would then be naked and starving.
I once congratulated a store clerk for a sign which properly read “10 Items or Fewer”. The resulting confusion on her face was priceless!
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By Franchi on Dec 8, 2009
Somehow, I can see you doing that and bouncing away happily in your congratulations over proper English grammer…
See what I have to live with TJ?!
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