None of the list items stated below constitutes a plan or binding contract of any nature.

November 29th, 2013 | by TJ |

I’m almost done! I’m almost done! I might make it, I’m almost done!

Tomorrow is technically the last day of NaBloPoMo for 2013, so I could still fail, but being realistic about things, tomorrow’s post is most likely just going to be something along the lines of, “I DID IT” and nothing more. The total number of posts for November will be more than three times the number of posts I made for the entirety of the rest of the year. It would be nice if this momentum was some kind of kick start that carried me through the rest of the holidays and in to the new year, but being a bit realistic, this site will probably look something like this post, “I DID IT!,” “PJs at TJ’s 2014 Recap.”

HOWEVER, in the spirit of not planning to fail, but also not planning to succeed, but rather not actually making any plans at all, here are some things I could still talk about, if I wanted to, with no pressure or anything, if I felt like it, and the time and the mood were right, and I wasn’t very tired or in a mood or having a bad attitude.

1. That thing that I was going to post that time, but then I had to wait for the heat to die down, and then it did die down, but then I talked myself out of posting it for various reasons involving not wanting to hurt feelings that really, if people thought it through, shouldn’t actually be hurt, but I can’t control how people feel about things, something that is probably just going to plague me to the end of my days. I think I might make that a password protected post, for no other reason than the fact that I can make the password “I AGREE,” and by the time you’re in and reading the post, it’s too late, you’ve already agreed to my terms in advance, and my terms ALWAYS include “no butthurt.” Again with the imperative sentence “you understood” thing, except it’s an imperative blog post. “No butthurt” understood.”

Unless “butthurt” is declared in advance. Like, “butthurt ahead” or “caution, falling butthurt,” or “ahoy, butthurt!”

2. I have been super successful lately in purchasing things that are available in limited amounts that then sell out within a matter of moments, which has been awesome for me. If you follow me on Twitter, you know that one of my favorite phenomenons to observe is what happens on a company’s social media page – usually Facebook – after a limited item (one that was KNOWN to be limited) has sold out. I’d enjoy watching these things anyway even if I wasn’t successful myself in obtaining the item, but going through the process of waiting for the correct time, entering my information correctly and quickly, and completing the checkout process without issue makes it slightly better. Because then I know there’s not really any flaw in the actual system, just the made up flaws in these people’s heads.

Anyway, over the last few weeks, up to today, I was able to grab a few fun things. One, the fall Allure Beauty Box. This was a last second decision, I wasn’t initially going to get it, but there’s SO MUCH LOTION in there, and suddenly both my husband and child have turned into Silurians.


Picture via Urban Decay

Two, the Naked3 palette. I thought I was going to wait until it was in stores to get the points at Ulta or Sephora, but I’m kind of glad I grabbed it now – I know I’m not going to the mall except to see Santa until after the new year, and that thing is going to be sold out until spring after the Christmas shipment comes into the stores in December, I bet. Honestly, event spotting Naked2 on shelves in store was hit or miss for a lot of this year, and I’m not usually a huge online makeup buyer. This sold out really fast, too. I ordered it as soon as I got the email, before I even got out of bed that morning. I’ve been excited about it since it was announced. I think it will work well with my eye color, and it has a lot of the shades I tend to gravitate toward and less of the ones I know I’ll ignore.


Picture via Urban Decay

Three, this morning I was able to get Urban Decay’s Black Friday doorbuster on six of their new lipsticks. This set sold out in less than ten minutes and people were soooo mad. I don’t think the whole set will look great on me, and honestly when I was looking through the shades of the whole line a few months ago, only a few of the ones I was initially interested in are in this set. Fortunately, though, my sister and I have similar coloring, but one of us has cool undertones and one of us has warm undertones, so I can pretty easily just drop the ones that don’t work on me into the box I mail out to Pennsylvania for Christmas. Since the lipsticks are normally $22 each and the set was $50, even if I end up only keeping 3, it’s still a great deal. Of course, she rarely wears lipstick and I paid for it, so I feel no obligation to split the set evenly, but still. Someone who looks the same as you with the opposite undertone is basically the perfect “this looks terrible, you have it” makeup dump. I mean, recipient.

So that’s like, FOUR things. A box, two makeups, and the poor behavior of other people. That shouldn’t be number two. That should be numbers two through five.

6. Today, we put up our Christmas tree, and after telling Penelope not to touch the tree for the eight hundredth time, I found myself saying to her, “I am going to call the North Pole and tell them that we need them to send down an elf to keep watch until Christmas.” I already planned on doing Elf on the Shelf, but I did not expect to hear myself tell my kid that I CALLED SANTA and ENFORCEMENTS WERE ON THE WAY. And I’m using past tense there because after her nap, the message was REITERATED. Call was made, ELF EN ROUTE. So. That’s going to be… something. That I did. Because I CALLED SANTA.


8. I have a Cosmo, so I guess that also could be a thing, considering that the PJs 2013 ladies got me a subscription to Cosmo and I followed that up with exactly zero Cosmo Cliff’s Notes.

Did I miss anything? Please don’t hold out hope of hearing about it during NaBloPoMo. That ship has sailed. It’s highly possible the 2013 ship has sailed entirely.

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10 Responses to “None of the list items stated below constitutes a plan or binding contract of any nature.”

  1. By Jilliene on Nov 30, 2013

    I’m gonna miss your blogs :(

  2. By shin ae on Nov 30, 2013

    I love the formula of those Urban Decay lipsticks. Well, like everyone else in the universe does, I guess.

    It’d be great to see some Cosmo Cliff’s Notes.

    My mom always used to tell us the elves were hiding in the house watching us. It really creeped me out/delighted me. I didn’t think I would, but when the time came I told my kids the same thing. I didn’t even think about it, it bubbled up from some visceral place. A visceral place that wanted them to just behave for five minutes, for the love of everything.

  3. By Swistle on Nov 30, 2013

    “but I can’t control how people feel about things, something that is probably just going to plague me to the end of my days” DEAR GOD YES

  4. By april on Nov 30, 2013

    HA on the reinforcements! I’m not doing Elf and I hope to hold out and never do the elf, but I think Penelope might need the extra reminder to be on good behavior for you. She’s not BAD but certainly mischievous and headstrong. Mine do things that irritate the crap out of me, but there’s generally no writing on themselves or the floor/wall the moment I go to pee.

    This was not suppose to be a “my kids are better behaved than yours” comment. Shit. I did have to tell Henry not to touch the tree about 1,871 times, including “no part of you is to touch the tree” when he was bouncing his belly off the branches, saying he wasn’t “touching” it.

    ANYHOW! I want the Naked 3 palette and I asked for it for Christmas and I’m sure C will wait until 12/24 to try to get it for me so I’m not holding my breath. I’ll buy it for myself in the spring.

    Brooke Reply:

    If he’s willing to spend $178 (holy SHIT) at Amazon, he can get Naked 3 now and you can have the best Christmas ever.

    april Reply:

    hahahahahahahahahaha. ha.

  5. By Brooke on Nov 30, 2013

    I LOVE watching the drama on websites when limited sales hit their limit and people think they should get preferential treatment because they bought something in the past. Mostly, I love that there are grown adult people out there who think 12PM is midnight. That’s my absolute favorite. I didn’t realize Naked3 had gone on sale, but that shouldn’t be a surprise considering our Red Card conversation from yesterday. You’re just light years ahead of me :)

    april Reply:

    I don’t complain when things sell out, but this was my first year of attempting Lightning Deals on Amazon and that shit just made me mad. How is it possible that the second something goes on sale, it’s 100% sold out? I bought one thing, my husband’s big present (we never get each other big presents and he’s going to be crazy surprised by this one) but all the kids toys and Duplos were gone the second the went on sale. Bullshit.

    Also, I didn’t contribute to that conversation yesterday because TJ doesn’t follow me and it would have been moot, but get yourself the Red Card debit. I live a mile from Target and didn’t get it until 2 months ago and I think waiting was the stupidest decision I’ve made in a really long time. Which is saying something.

    Brooke Reply:

    I got the Red Card debit. I have seen the light, and joined the 21st century :)

  6. By Jenny Grace on Dec 5, 2013

    It’s like you can’t even stop yourself from calling Santa though, y’know?


    I didn’t send for an elf, because I get really creeped out by dolls with Murder Eyes, and that doll had Murder Eyes.

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