Negative One is plastic, correct?
October 23rd, 2009 | by TJ |So, Internet, do you want to know where I (and some of you!) will be one year from today?
I stole this picture from a girl I went to high school with. MAH BAD. (Cleek for beeg.)
So that makes today not only MOLE DAY, but also my Negative One Year Wedding Anniversary, which we think is the Plastic Anniversary.
Whether it is or not, Phil purchased this gift for me today:
It was just sitting there in the grocery store, like it didn’t even know it was awesome. And? On sale, which, as we all know, makes everything eaten off of it EXTRA DELICIOUS.
It kind of makes me wish that we had friends who wanted to hang out with us and stuff, and also that I knew how to cook, so that I could put a turkey on it.
The reason that Phil was able to purchase a gift for me today was because we were at the store gathering juice and such, as he is home sick. Initially, he told me that he was having a reaction to the flu mist he got the other day, as required by the military. Then he had the sniffles. Then he had maybe the beginnings of the flu. Then he told me he had the black lung (pathetic Zoolander cough).
AND? He kept sticking his hand INTO THE BOX OF CHEEZ-ITS, so now we have to have his and hers Cheez-Its. And I’m firmly of the school of thought that His and Hers anything is complete hokey BS, because usually whatever he has is exactly what I want, so everything ends up being Hers & Hers & Hers & Hers & His If He Can Manage to Use it When Her Isn’t Looking.
Then? When he was getting me a McGriddle? He asked me like, six times if I wanted a bacon or a sausage McGriddle. Which, as ANYONE WHO HAS EVER MET ME CAN TELL YOU, is absolutely ridiculous because I consider sausage to be an abomination and I won’t even eat anything that I suspect may have BRUSHED UP AGAINST A SAUSAGE. So he told me that he couldn’t help it, because his brain was riddled with syphilis.
Obviously, we are going downhill fast here.
Aside from taking care of Capt. Runny Nose of the Whineybutt Brigade, I am also working on hatching a new blog project that I hope to start on Monday. Hopefully, it won’t suck. So this is obviously a very crappy day to be having a Negative One Year Wedding Anniversary. But the deposit is already paid, so, you know, too bad.
By Delicia on Oct 23, 2009
Interestingly enough, today is also Weird Al’s birthday (yay!), and my Wow friend-turned-real-life friend’s birthday. The latter is also getting married actually as I type this in the court house (they’re doing the big fancy wedding next year for the parents’ benefit). Imagine if her new husband forgets that one — double jeopardy for forgetting her birthday AND their wedding anniversary. I can’t decide if she picked this day so that he’d have a better chance of remembering both, or so she can really guilt him into buying her cool stuff after he forgets.
-Del
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By Figworth on Oct 23, 2009
There’s another way to get Cheez-its out of a box? Explain, please. And by ‘explain’ I mean ‘if it requires more effort than sticking your hand in and grabbing it doesn’t count’.
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By Skraps on Oct 23, 2009
@ Delicia
I got married Feb 29. Makes it very easy to remember, oh and only have to buy gifts every 4 years.
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By Delicia on Oct 23, 2009
@ Figworth
In my house, the rule is you have to pour yourself a small bowl of cheez-its. Otherwise, the..uh.. kids! yeah the kids.. will sit and eat a whole box of them in one sitting.
-Del
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By Dara on Oct 23, 2009
That skellie plate is totally cool! Congrats on your negative 1st anniversary. :)
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By Lonster on Oct 23, 2009
See, now I have to point my wife at this blog. She thought I was insane when, 13 years ago, I took her out to dinner, and she asked why such a fancy dinner, and I said it was in celebration of our negative-one year anniversary.
Ever since that time, I’ve planned the odd-numbered anniversary celebrations, ’cause I planned the -1 year, and she always gets the even-numbered anniversaries, ’cause she did most of the “zero” year celebration planning.
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By Aunt Becky on Oct 23, 2009
Dave would totally sneeze into my box of Cheez-It’s so I would hand them over. Asswad.
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By Jeremy on Oct 23, 2009
Required flu immunizations are teh suck. At the DoD hospital where I am employed, the powers that be decided that all civilians had to have a flu vaccination this year or you are out of job.
I nearly feigned Buddhism so I could avoid it.
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By Kelly on Oct 24, 2009
Phil sounds suspiciously like my daughter. He may be a long-lost uncle or cousin or something. Last time she had the sniffles, she declared it was Black Plague. She has claimed to have every ailment known to man. Thank goodness Science Fiction isn’t her thing, or she’d be picking up alien diseases, as well.
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By Flame on Nov 3, 2009
Love the plate!! What store did you find it in?
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