Lifelong Irrational Grudges, or LIGs, is a concept I came up with some time ago and employ heavily in my life to this day. The idea is a bit fluid, so I will provide you with some examples.
Firstly, however, I’d like to direct you to the second word: irrational. That means that one, it does not have to and probably will not make sense to you, and two, GOD HELP YOU IF YOU TRY TO REASON WITH ME.
My current LIGs are in their infancy at the moment, I wanted to give you all a peek into the development of an LIG from the ground up. Have no doubt, however, that I intend to nurse them into fullblown festering neuroses over the coming years.
Since LIGs most often involve a person or persons, specific and non-specific both, I will start you out easily.
With my boyfriend.
LIG #1: The way that sometimes, after Phil takes a shower, he doesn’t take care to check to see if the showerhead is replaced correctly, so that when I lean in to turn on the shower and quickly hop backwards to avoid the spray of cold water left over in the hose, I get a freezing blast to the midsection, not to mention the bathroom floor and wall. I almost peed, Phil. I ALMOST PEED. And I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to say, “Well, why didn’t you check it yourself first?” And my answer is this: you just better not say that.
LIG #2: While it may appear that I’ve come to terms with the fact that Phil is non-communicative in the mornings, as I sit there quietly near him and don’t pester him with questions and words and other such BOTHERSOME INDICATIONS OF MY VERY PRESENCE, I have not come to terms with it. I have not at all. What’s with this “not a morning person” crap! I do not buy into that myth. Takes a long time to wake up? It’s a one step procedure! Sleeping, sleeping, sleeping… eyes open. AWAKE. Entire process, start to finish. I am AWAKE and I am ready to SPEAK ALL THE WORDS THAT HAVE BEEN BUILDING UP ALL NIGHT.
LIG #3: Leaving behind a paycheck kind of job and working at home, for myself, has been a bit nervewracking to me. Every time I bring up doubts, Phil is all “You’re a great writer,” and “You’ll do fine.” And when I show him how money is actually coming in, he says “That’s awesome!” And when I explain to him how I work, and the various things I do and projects I’m involved in, he listens. Closely. I haven’t quite figured out where the grudge in this one is but I’m suspicious so I’m holding a placeholder grudge. JUST IN CASE.