Temerity Jane

I’ve been on vacation!

Not really. I mean, blog vacation, maybe. I think this is the longest break I have ever taken, but time just got away from me.

As my last posts said, I got sick last week. It was not cool. It seemed like it came out of nowhere. I was babysitting last Wednesday night and just felt uncomfortable. I went to work on Thursday and felt like I had a fever, but nothing else. No sore throat or headache, nothing. I assumed maybe the flu was coming. I went out Thursday night to acquire a new thermometer, some DayQuil and Zicam. By Thursday night, I had a fever over 101. By Friday, it was over 102.

Anyway, without going into all the miserable details, LAST WEEKEND SUCKED. I really appreciated the messages and emails, though, you are all very nice people.

I took my last dose of antibiotic Friday night and feel about a trillion percent better right now, but pretty worn out. It took me a couple of days to get back up to speed – I made it back to work on Tuesday, but was falling asleep at 8pm right after getting home. Just like the last time I took a day off work, I have sworn to never, ever again take another day off, all this week I feel like I did so much work but just got nothing done. I HATE playing catch up.

I was feeling just about 100% by Thursday, so I headed out to babysit Mr. Noah and his brand new baby brother and I swear, they have to be just about the two easiest kids on the planet. I mean, watching a 3 year old and a 5 week old is not something I’d really call easy in general, but I don’t think I’d be so willing to watch any OTHER 3 year old and 5 week old. I watched them again Friday night, and that wasn’t so easy. I fed the baby, I changed the baby, I bundled the baby up in his special blanket, I mean, as far as babies go, he was pretty much sitting on a little baby throne, not a need in the world, except to be held. Every time I thought he was asleep, or thought he was totally cool and went to set him down to play with Noah or feed Noah or bathe Noah, his eyes would pop back open and he’d be all “EXCUSE ME, MY BABY-SENSE IS TINGLING AND I BELIEVE YOU ARE NO LONGER IN PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH ME. I DO NOT ACCEPT.”

Now I totally understand what a huge market those “strap-your-babies-to-you” slings and backpacks and strappy jobbers are. It must be absolutely impossible for new parents to get anything done otherwise. At about 7pm, I was able to put the baby down for about 15 minutes before he realized what was going on, so I swept up Noah saying “BATH TIME BATH TIME GO GO GO GO GO! No, it’s not bedtime. I promise you don’t have to go to bed yet. You just need to get in the bath now! If we don’t go now, I’m gonna have to run you through the dishwasher!”

Babysitting for a few hours is no big deal, I can totally handle it. But I had a flash of what kind of parent I would be if I was in that situation 24/7. “The baby is sleeping! We’ve got like, 45 minutes. I’m going to need you to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner all right now, then we’re gonna watch 2 videos on fast forward, then we’re going to play trains for about 12 seconds, then I’ll read you the back cover of a couple of books, then it’s bedtime. Yes, I know it’s only 9:47 in the morning but we need to take these opportunities where they come!”

Luckily by the time bathtime was over, I’d semi-mastered the “hold a baby with this arm, play with the toddler with this arm” skill and when it was time to go home, I actually had everyone under 4 feet tall asleep in the appropriate beds. I’m like the king of this stuff.

I’m also rather certain that 4 to 10 hours a week of baby is just enough exposure for me for the forseeable future. I have a great time with Noah, I get to hold a brand new baby, and I get to hand them all back at the end of the evening. I really don’t understand why more people aren’t in on this racket.