Ignoring all the signs.
June 4th, 2008 | by TJ |I mean that seriously. I don’t think the universe wants me to be driving. Seriously ignoring all the signs, as I missed my exit on the way in to work this morning. An exit I have taken every day, which is marked with a huge… sign.
On top of that, a couple of nights ago, I got lost in the dark, near my house but not very near, and kept making wrong turns, and then was on random unlit one lane roads with horse crossing signs AND I was seriously about a minute and a half from being out of gas and I got so upset and worked up I was getting dizzy and I thought I was going to FAINT and crash my car into a NIGHT HORSE.
That didn’t happen. And I got home okay.
But on top of THAT, last night I was coming home with my chicken nuggets and talking to BRK on the phone. I went to get out of the car and heard the beep beep indicating my keys were still in the ignition. I took them out, started juggling purse, phone, keys, chicken nuggets and soda and by the time I had walked halfway to my house I was thinking, “I totally just locked my keys in the car.”
I might have put them in my purse, but I was pretty sure they were in the car. I just kept walking into the house, though, because if they were locked in? It’s not like staring at them through the glass was going to help anything. So I ate my chicken nuggets, watched some Monk on TV and emptied out my purse – no keys. Sigh. So I walked out to my car and sure enough, there they were, sitting on the passenger seat. Super. So not only are they in the car, they’re displayed as a nice “please smash my windows and drive me away” advertisement for the Toyota Yaris.
Sigh.
So, options. I has them.
1. Yank futilely on all the doors, repeatedly.
2. Call a locksmith type person.
3. Get the spare.
Of course, first order of business was #1. The one damn time I remember to lock the liftback door, huh? Of course. Number 2 actually was a last ditch option, as I am so broke right now that spending money, at all, is something I have to consider, reconsider and consult with my tarot cards about, and to have to drop $50 or whatever for this stupid mistake was going to sting pretty bad. Number 3 is obviously the sensible option except…
Back in January, I went out with Michelle (the first time we had seen or spoken to each other in 10 years, in fact) and I had maybe a liiiittle too much to drink. So she drove me home, I asked my roommate to take me for my car in the morning on his way to work, and I sprawled myself out in a pile of laundry on the bathroom floor and quietly prayed for death. In the process, I tossed my keys somewhere behind the toilet, so in the morning I scooped up the spare where it was precariously balanced, about to fall behind my dresser. When I got home, I thought, if it fell behind the dresser, I’d go NUTS looking for it when I needed it. I better put it somewhere safe. Where it won’t fall. Or get buried under anything.
A place I’ll remember.
Haaaa!
So anyway, I went back inside and started looking around my room. No key, no key, no key. I’d not been feeling well all day, my room was ridiculously hot, and I was getting more and more frustrated as the night went on.
I found 1100 ponytail holders, a box of bobbypins of a type that is seemingly impossible to find in any store, my camera tripod, my favorite lipgloss and an unopened pack of cigarettes, but no keys.
I absolutely demolished my bedroom. Seriously, it is going to take me days to put it back together and I’m twitching just thinking about it right now.
I haven’t had much sleep in the last couple of days, and as it was getting later and later, I was ready to just give up and go to sleep. I decided I’d wait for morning, call my boss and tell her I’d be late, then start looking again. If I didn’t find the key by 9am or so, I’d call the lock people and have them come out, since the ones around here charge more for coming outside of normal people daylight hours anyway. Sigh.
So, resigned to my fate, I got in my pajamas, set my alarm and sat down to watch the newest Julia Nunes video (one of her very best, I think) (and no, I don’t plan to stop talking about her any time soon). It was midnightish by this point, I was hot, tired, and felt ill, way too unsettled by the TJ-grenade I’d just set off in my room, and wound up about the unresolved key issue – way too uncomfortable to fall asleep. I was watching videos in my ANBU mask (don’t judge me!!) and all of a sudden… I remembered.
Back in January, I HAD put the key someplace special. Where it wouldn’t fall behind anything, or get buried under anything. And you’ll have to trust me when I tell you, thinking back on it, it really sounded like a good idea at the time.
It was under my desk.
Not on the ground.
Not taped to the bottom.
UNDER my desk. Between the leg and the carpet.
I just… ok, seriously, it really did seem brilliant at the time!
By AE on Jun 4, 2008
Actually it was quite brilliant b/c you a) remembered and b) didn’t have to pay the locksmith.
Although in the future I think you should avoid “epic key” quests. =P
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By Softi on Jun 4, 2008
LOL That is a good idea for somewhere safe… I’m glad you didn’t have to call out the locksmith! /pats aura.
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By Moomajick on Jun 4, 2008
At least you didn’t have it in a magnetized boxs in your wheel well or under the car. That’s always a brilliant option in my opinion.
P.S. My uncle had his spare in a small locked box under his car and the key… was on his key chain. I share genes with these people…
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By BaldBilly on Jun 4, 2008
Vacation time, not the little weekend jaunts, serious leave me alone for two weeks and unplug
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By Kirk on Jun 4, 2008
I used to lock my key in the car. A lot.
.
I now carry a spare. It’s attached to a credit card with packing tape. A lesson there if you do this – just put tape on the front of the card, not around it two or three times. It makes it a lot easier to get to it when you need it, and when you’re done you can put it back on the card with the same tape (till you get home and can use fresh tape). Second lesson – you can fit two or three keys on that card. Which means if your keys dropped out while struggling with packages in your FRIEND’S car who drove off as soon as you got out [mutter], you can still get into your house/apartment.
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By Gauntlet on Jun 4, 2008
At my old house I had a walk-in closet, and I would just thumbtack things to the wall facing out, behind my clothes.
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By sonvar on Jun 4, 2008
I keep doing the same thing to myself when I put stuff into a “safe” spot. When I actually need it I don’t remember which of my potential “safe” spots it could be.
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By Prof. teh Khol Abides on Jun 4, 2008
…
Words fail me…I…I must laugh…
However, to add to the tales of key woe…I did, for the first time IN MY LIFE (3+ decades, thanks) locked my keys in my house. No problem, call the landlord for the spare, call the boss to tell him I’ll be late back from lunch (living close enough to work to be able to go home for lunch is pure win) and settle in for a wait.
Except…landlord can’t come out with spare and I can’t go to landlord as my car keys are with my house keys.
So, landlord calls maintenance guy. MG comes out an hour and a half later only to find he does not, in fact, have a key to my apartment. MG’s solution? Cut the knob off.
No, I’m not kidding.
Knob is cut off, MG has to go elsewhere, but will come back to replace the knob later.
Later is the next day…at 7 in the evening. MG has another brilliant plan: just replace the lock in the old knob with a new knob. Now, where did he leave the old knob… /facepalm
One rekey of a new knob later (which takes about an hour, incidentally), I had a doorknob again, which was nice, because it helps to be able to open one’s door.
Yeah…one time…Never. Again.
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By Dechion on Jun 4, 2008
I ended up putting everything I absolutely must never lose in the backpack case for my laptop. Now my problem is it is so full of important things that I need a place for my laptop >.<
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By Bellwether on Jun 4, 2008
My “spare key” travels in the hands of my father.
Who is frequently away on business trips.
Yay AAA!
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By Lance on Jun 4, 2008
TJ you need a fake rock spare key holder and just leave it in your room seriously you will never forget where your key is at. PLus they are cool looking.
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By gt on Jun 4, 2008
lol. I never found my spare key to my car till I moved out of my apartment and thusly had to empty out the place… at least you remembered where yours was! Good job!
The landlord story above (very funny) reminds me of the door to the bathroom my siblings and I shared when we were little. My sister locked herself in there in a fit of middle child angst and it got so stuck my dad had to disassemble the lock and just left a hole there for 2 years while he kept saying “yeah I will get a new knob.” Meanwhile using the bathroom became the ultimate stealth game for us kids not wanted to get spotted on the potty. Good times. >.>
You could tape the key to the inside of the forehead of your Anbu mask ! Or something. >.>
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By Evil Sheep on Jun 4, 2008
First of all, being 4 feet tall, you should have seen the spare key… j/k
The only car I ever lost the key to didn’t need a key to open or start (long story, but I lived in what we’ll call a “rural” area – as in, where rednecks come from – and you didn’t really need to lock anything). However, I did recently walk around my house for 30 minutes looking for my sunglasses before my wife stopped laughing long enough to tell me I was wearing them. No, not on top of my head, actually wearing them on my face…
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By Calistax on Jun 5, 2008
Halleluja, a sign it is….
but not that you must stop driving…..
but that you must avoid contact with BRK!! Remember, you were on the phone with him, when it happened…. The root of all Evil has been found, hail the Lord!! :-)
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By Boffors on Jun 5, 2008
Wow….just wow!
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By luke on Jun 5, 2008
so i was locking my keys in my appartment a bunch, so i decided to carry a spare with me in my wallet. then i forgot my wallet in my appartment too.
called my brother and he came by with the keys… sigh.
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By Just saying on Jun 5, 2008
Get A bicycle. Driving is for suckers.
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