I love when people talk about other people being outrageous.
February 22nd, 2011 | by TJ |I mentioned a while ago that one of the things that really keeps me entertained when I’m screwing around on the Internet (16 hours a day at this point) is reading stories about the absolutely audacious behavior of other people.
Good sites for this kind of stuff include Etiquette Hell, Mother in Law Stories, and various other topical message boards scattered throughout large forum communities. Some are better than others, of course. You have to find the right balance of legitimate jaw dropping stories and people who feel like everything anyone ever does is a personal affront to them. Like on some parenting forums, the extreme ones, anyone who isn’t the parents or even who isn’t the mother is regarded as some kind of idiot outsider who doesn’t know anything about anything and is trying to ruin their baby’s life.
Anyway, that doesn’t matter. Everyone has their own forum preferences, I am sure. What matters is, this shit is entertaining. Not like in a popcorn eating way, but in a kind of “holy shit, my mind is being opened to entirely new and previously unimaginable possibilities right now” kind of way.
I think what makes this kind of stuff especially suited for passing the time for me is that there is just no one in my family, either on my side or on the in law side, who I could even remotely BEGIN to imagine behaving in the ways I read about on these forums. If you have a boundary stomping mother or really pushy in laws, I guess this stuff wouldn’t be so surprising or even a little entertaining to you, but seriously, for me? It’s a whole new world. The Internet is more entertaining to me because I had the good fortune to be both born into and marry into families of sane, normal people (well, you know, relatively).
So I thought today, I’d give you some examples of the stuff I read on these forums because one, I have nothing else to write about today and two, OH MY GOD. I mean, maybe some of your lives are like this, and you’ll think, “psh, that’s nothing,” or maybe some of your lives are more like mine, and you’ll think “THAT HAS TO BE MADE UP,” except it’s not.
Well, it might all be made up, but I didn’t make any of it up. These are all stories I found in my various jaw-dropped, wide-eyed Internet gawking travels.
And I am telling you these stories and I am not even trying to be funny. I am just retelling them as I remember reading them. Because this shit stands on its own.
1. So there was this couple and they had a new daughter, few months old. They mentioned at a family dinner with the MIL (oh, I should have said this before, but for clarity, in all the stories, I will refer to the husband’s mother as the MIL and the mother’s mother as the grandmother, not because I am biased against husbands’ mothers, but because I don’t have to explain my reasoning to you and it’s easier). So anyway, they mention at dinner with the MIL that they’re going to pierce the baby’s ears. The MIL basically says, “You better not do that to my granddaughter, I don’t want you to do that.” But whatever. Some people pierce their baby’s ears, and it’s certainly not the decision of anyone else.
So one day the mom is at the MIL’s house with the baby, just a couple of days after having the ears pierced, and the MIL says “Oh, I want to bake a cake, can you run to the store for me?” and the mom says sure and goes, leaving her daughter there with the MIL. She comes back, and her daughter is SCA-RHEEEMING and the MIL is looking smug.
SHE HAD TAKEN THE EARRINGS OUT. She sent the mom to the store to get a few moments alone with the baby and she TOOK THE FRESHLY PIERCED EARRINGS out of the infant’s ears. Then refused to give back the earrings, as she had hidden them. Her response when confronted?
“I told you not to do it.”
This story only went on with increasing psychotic behavior from the MIL, as the mom and dad of the infant promptly completely cut her off from seeing the baby at all, ever. As they should.
BECAUSE OH MY GOD.
2. This woman and her MIL don’t get along, but she’s expecting her first baby and the baby shower is coming up, and the MIL starts going on and on about how she’s going to buy a crib and a glider and all this equipment and stuff. Baby shower comes along and the MIL drags in box after box of gifts – the big gifts, the nursery stuff, you know? Makes a big show of giving it all to the mom. So appreciated! Such a great grandmother, etc.
So the shower ends and the MIL starts loading all the boxes back into the back of her truck as the mom and her mom load all the other gifts into their cars, and the mother to be says, “Are you just going to follow me to my house?” and the MIL says, “Why would I? This stuff is all for the nursery at my house.” And drives off with all the stuff.
3. Speaking of nurseries at the MIL or grandmother’s house, that brings me to a bunch of general MIL/Grandmother/Grandparent behaviors that continually pop up in post after post after post. No specific story with these, because they KEEP HAPPENING to all KINDS of people, which just blows me away.
- Grandparents constructing full nurseries at their house under the assumption (assumption) that the new baby will be spending enough time there to necessitate an entire infant room.
- Grandparents/family members starting to ask just a few weeks after birth when the baby can “come sleep over.”
- Grandparents/family members outright discouraging breastfeeding, either because it isn’t fair that they don’t get to also feed the baby, or because it isn’t fair that they can’t take the baby for long periods of time.
- Grandparents/family members continually hounding to see the baby “alone.” Visiting with the parents isn’t enough – there is some school of relative thought out there that time spent with the new baby doesn’t count unless it is alone, without the parents watching
4. So this couple has twins, pretty new ones, and the MIL is visiting. Time comes for everyone to eat dinner, and the MIL is holding one of the babies and the dad is holding the other. The mother of the twins tells the MIL to give her the baby so she (the MIL) can eat, and the MIL insists on holding her. The mom politely but firmly asks for her child back, and the MIL refuses. The mom stands up to get the baby, and the MIL stands up and tries to RUN FROM THE ROOM, actually bobbing and weaving to avoid the mother of the baby, so she doesn’t have to give her up.
5. Okay, that brings me to another general behavior that shows up on these forums all the time: baby taking and refusing to give babies back. Like, as soon as a baby enters the room, a relative will snatch the baby away, and then basically refuse to return it to the mother. This is often accompanied by the baby snatcher leaving the room with the baby when it starts to fuss. Or? OR? When a mother is holding her own baby and the baby starts to fuss, a baby snatcher will reach out to take the baby, saying, “Let me do it.” Because obviously the mother is fucking it up.
Also often accompanied by a relative saying to a crying baby, “Oh, he just wants his grandma/auntie/whoever the fuck.”
6. Another story! So this woman doesn’t get along too well with her MIL, I don’t really remember why, but nothing major, I don’t think. She has a new baby and she started to go back to school and take classes at night, leaving the baby with her husband those evenings and being a SAHM the rest of the time.
Well, one night her class was cancelled and she comes home to find her MIL’s car in the driveway. Turns out, every night that she had been going to class, her husband had been CALLING HIS MOTHER to come over and take care of the baby. She would wait in a nearby parking lot until the woman went to class, then come over, watch and feed the baby, do laundry, clean around the house, and leave before the mom got home. While the husband watched television and stuff!
That is definitely more of an idiot husband story than anything else. I also do not have an idiot husband.
7. Ok, so this couple has three kids, and the grandmother is really attached to the middle kid, a boy, I think. I guess kind of in a playing favorites kind of way, but that’s not really the problem, as I think she was nice to all of the grandkids, she just had a particular bond with this one. So she was always at all his school events and all of that, just a really involved grandmother.
Well, the mom and the dad are vegan, and raising their kids vegan, and from what I can remember of the story, doing it well. I’m not personally vegan, of course, and I don’t know what all is involved, but the story teller made it pretty clear that the kids had great nutrition and were meeting all milestones and whatever.
The grandmother didn’t really like the idea that the kids were being raised vegan and continually made her thoughts on the subject known. At one school event, she was walking around a bake sale with the little boy, and the mom overheard her say, “Your mom is SO CRAZY,” as she gave him some cake or a cookie or whatever.
Not just breaking the rules of the parents, but telling a child that his mother is crazy. Lovely.
8. OH another one of those general things. It’s this infuriating line relatives say (and I keep saying grandparents here because it’s just easier, but relatives are relatives). The mom or dad indicates some rule – a lot of times involving food – that they follow in their house. Something simple like “no sweets” or even something bigger like, “We don’t give our four month old solid food yet.” Food is always a big one with grandparents. Everyone starves their babies, according to grandparents. PUT SOME CEREAL IN THAT BOTTLE.
Anyway, the line pops out when a grandparent is denied in their attempt to feed the baby a finger full of french onion dip or something and is informed that the baby isn’t eating food yet, and the grandparent replies with, “Well, what happens at grandpa’s will just stay at grandpa’s!”
Translation: Cute rule. As soon as you’re out of sight, I will do whatever the fuck I want with your child.
9. Okay, one more story. So this woman finds out she’s pregnant and tells her mother when she’s over visiting one day. Her mother is… underwhelmed, to say the least, but whatever. While the woman is there, her mother encourages her to call her relatives and let them know, and seems to be slowly warming to the news. So the woman calls each relative to give the news and of course hears, “Congratulations! Good for you!” and all of that, and then, inevitably, the relative would ask to speak to the grandmother-to-be, ostensibly to pass along further congratulations.
Upon being handed the phone, the woman’s mother goes “Guess what! I’m pregnant, too!” That is followed up with, “What, SHE gets congratulations, and I get nothing?” and genuine UPSET FEELINGS. And while most family members figured she was joking, some slightly more distant did not.
This wasn’t just done on one phone call. Every single call, the mother made THE SAME JOKE. “Joke.”
So. I don’t really know what it is about other people behaving so poorly that catches my attention. I know all of those stories seem similar, because the forum that enthralls me at the moment is about in laws and family of origin and the problems that may arise from those relationships, but I am usually open to crazy behavior from all angles.
I think, though, that for me to really be appalled, it has to be completely and totally unrelated to my own life. Like when I was getting married, wedding message boards were really a good source of this kind of shocking story, but not every one of them was totally shocking to me. Like, if there was a story that was relatively mild, about a mother or someone gently trying to get a wedding decision to go their way, that didn’t bowl me over, because, uh, that was my life. But these stories, stories I know I will have the good fortune to never experience, it’s like they beamed down from a different universe.
EXCEPT THEY DIDN’T! These people really exist!
It kills me! When I read one of these stories that is particularly bad – and again, it doesn’t have to be about family members, it could be about weddings or doctors or general politeness – I find myself actually getting ANXIOUS and stressed out. The fact that it is HAPPENING to someone actually makes me get a little sweaty.
If you have crazy family members, none of these stories probably gave you the jaw drop like they do to me. That’s okay, though. If you do have crazy stories like these, you can put them in the comments, and then everyone who does get the jaw drop can jaw drop at YOUR stories, too.
Do you find stuff like this as hard to comprehend as I do? I mean, again, not just in law or family stuff, but stories of audacious behavior in general? I think the further removed it is from our own experiences, the more entertainment (and again, I use “entertainment” in the parallel universe sense) they provide.
Like, maybe you have crazy family, and these don’t even make you blink. But maybe if I was to tell you stories about the shit my insane BOSS used to pull, you’d die from it. Insane boss stories don’t even make me blink. Been there. Done that. Quit the job and celebrate the date yearly. You cannot get me with your boss story, because I’ve DONE it. But you CAN get me with your “lady in Target started taking things out of my cart because SHE wanted them” story because what the HELL?
I think, Internet, what I am saying is this: tell me your stories of audacious behavior from any walk of life, and tell me also what kinds of stories don’t even make you flinch, because, psh, come on. Baby stuff.
By Bell on Feb 22, 2011
Sometimes I have to step back and go “Nah, people are making this up. There’s no way.” And then I remember that I got a degree in psychology and that people really are this messed up, and I sigh. I sigh DEEPLY.
Also, I laughed at “put some cereal in that bottle!” I laughed hard.
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By Sarah Lena on Feb 22, 2011
My husband’s family is from a .. rural .. part of Alabama, and they are very sweet and very loving but MY GOD, the way that they believe I should be raising my child.
At his first birthday party .. I wish I was even kidding about this .. I came in to find them handing Tony a SIPPY-CUP FILLED WITH COKE. He was not even one at that point, as we had the party early so that the extended family could attend. When I lost my shit, they called me overbearing.
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TJ Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 10:35 am
HOLY CRAP. Even as someone who drinks diet soda as if it were straight from the fountain of everlasting life, holy CRAP.
Okay, okay, I get that people in different areas do things differently. And I also get that even our PARENTS did things differently than you and I will end up doing them.
But to then tell YOU that YOU’RE overbearing when you object? To make you into the bad guy! For having rules – and that’s hardly even a rule and more of a “uh, duh.”
I think it would have ended up being a LONG ASS TIME before any of them were out from under my eyeballs with my kid.
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Wendy Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 10:42 am
Oh my stars… I would LOSE MY MIND about that.
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Sarah Lena Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 10:46 am
Admittedly, I’m a bit “granola” in how we raise our kids .. we don’t do HFCS and try to do organic stuff. Which, WHATEVER, it’s food I buy and don’t force YOU to eat, so bite me.
But Coke? AT ONE YEAR OLD?!
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-R- Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 11:29 am
I had totally forgotten that my father-in-law gave my son soda at his first birthday party when I was busy doing something else. I didn’t make a big deal of it though because I think one of the reasons my father-in-law did it was to try to create a scene. Aargh.
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Megan Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 12:26 pm
I worship at the altar of Pepsi myself, but NO WAY should soda and sippy cup go together in the same sentence. Talk about a recipe for rotting teeth…ick.
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Wulfa Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Ha ha my mom gave our daughter soda when she was maybe 8 months old? What is so funny about that is that she tends to buy only organic, eats amazingly healthy, and didn’t give us ice cream until we were three years old. She’s better now, but that first year she couldn’t say no to her granddaughter. It never really bothered me. She doesn’t live locally, and if she did she wouldn’t have started the whole sugar thing. Had my MIL done that, though, there would’ve been shit to pay.
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By christine on Feb 22, 2011
I too love the crazy stories! I read on a parenting forum about the MIL looking after the infant for a couple hours. The baby breast and bottle fed and the mom (obvs) left a bottle for the baby. The mom comes home and sees the MIL with the baby AT HER NAKED BREAST! her NON milk producing breast no less. (not that that would make it better!) Apparently the baby was sad and this was what the MIL though would sooth it??? I just don’t even know what I would do.
My in laws were insistant that Babies Needed to Cry sometimes….whatever the cost apparently. We had them over to help out as we were prepping our house to sell. My son was about 3-4 months old and was hungry so I gave them the bottle to feed him. I watched them hold him crying, hungry, and laughing at the “cute faces” he was making, while gloating that “see all babies cry!”. I could not believe it…I grabbed my baby and left the room crying myself.
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Amy Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 11:19 am
Those are both just insane.
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By Wendy on Feb 22, 2011
Let me tell you one of the MANY stores involving my sister.
She was getting married and made a decree that she was going to get her hair done in an updo for the wedding so nobody else could. Not our mom, not the groom’s mom, not the bridesmaids, no one. She still wanted us to have hair that was “fancy” but not up or pulled back (half pulled back was grudingly allowed). Well one of the junior bridesmaids has 11 years old or so and was dying to have princess hair and, for her, princess hair=updo. She’d never had her hair done in a salon before and was just *bursting* with pride to have her very long hair pulled up and curled.
She showed up at the wedding, my sister freaked and made her take it down, going so far as to pull out bobby pins herself as the poor kid cried.
I guess you could argue that the jr bridesmaid’s mom was out of line for letting her get the updo despite the printed(!) warnings against it but also c’mon sis, an 11 year old is not going to be stealing your thunder.
There were many other incidents of bad bride behavior, to the point where two of the other bridesmaids weren’t speaking to my sister by the end of the night and left the reception in anger.
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Sarah Lena Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 10:44 am
… OHMYGAH, SERIOUSLY?!
I’ll be over here, picking my jaw off the floor.
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Mrs. CPA Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 12:31 pm
That is COMPLETELY INSANE.
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Pinkie Bling Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 12:45 pm
EVIL.
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Nancy P Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 1:50 pm
nu uh! Oh.My.God. How does someone get to that point? Has your sister mellowed at all since then?
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By Nic on Feb 22, 2011
Crazy mother stories don’t make me flinch. I can out crazy-mother almost anyone. I think I’m immune to wedding craziness too from my former life as a wedding planner. I mean, I had one wedding where the the bride was Catholic and the groom was Jewish and their families were NOT thrilled. The groom’s family didn’t attend the ceremony and but at the last minute, agreed to attend the reception. The bride’s wedding theme was Christmas. Oh, and she never told the groom about it. And she wanted their portraits taken in front of a giant Christmas tree. And they had a screaming match during their cocktail party.
Yep. Immune to wedding stuff.
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Nic Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 10:54 am
That should read that I win when it comes to telling tales of crazy moms, not that I’m a crazier mom than other people. I’m not a mom, so that helps.
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By BKC on Feb 22, 2011
Two words for you: Tiger Mom. See, when that blew up a few weeks ago, I rolled my eyes at all the fuss, because that’s exactly how I was raised. The name-calling, the hardcore music practice, the grade expectations? Yeah, seeing people’s outrage was comical because after you live it, reading about it is actually sort of therapeutic.
The ones that eeep me out are the etiquette ones, especially as they pertain to weddings. I can read those threads for days, because as “tiger” as my parents and grandparents were, it was a PRIVATE kind of crazy. The craziness over gifts (heh, I’m Chinese. We give money.), and who to invite to what and people copying other people (what?!) is so entertaining.
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By cindy w on Feb 22, 2011
A lot of the horrible MIL stories above? Are totally things that my husband’s stepmother would do. Which is why we’ve visited her all of once since my kid was born over 4 years ago (and she won’t get on a plane to come see us, so WIN!).
Example story: when we went to visit them, we got caught in a snowstorm so it took an insanely long time to get there. We were driving for well over 8 hours. When we finally got there, it was dinnertime, so we sat down to eat. Except, of course, for my then-2 year-old, who’d been strapped into a car seat all day and was running around like a maniac trying to burn off all of her pent-up energy. I didn’t make a big deal out of it because I was exhausted, and hey, *I* wouldn’t like to be strapped into a car seat for 8 hours either, so I was sympathetic. Let the kid play. She isn’t hurting anything and she can eat later. No big deal, right?
Then the stepmother-in-law unloads this gem: “Well, if her MOTHER wasn’t around, I could teach her to sit properly at the table for mealtimes in a heartbeat.” Translation: if I wasn’t there, she’d beat my kid into submission.
Moral of the story: that is one set of grandparents that will never be allowed to baby-sit. Ever.
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Jess Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 4:23 pm
See I am so combative I would have said ‘well good thing my daughter’s not here so that I don’t demonstrate what a come to jesus meeting is’
What fucking nerve
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By Flame on Feb 22, 2011
I have heard a bunch of these stories online and from co-worker’s, etc as well. I truly believe that when a baby is involved, some women just snap/lose their minds and do weird shit they wouldn’t normally do.
My MIL is obsessed with babies and thankfully accepted us being childfree rather easily. I don’t think I could stand having a kid and having my in-laws watch it. I would have nightmares (esp. after all the reasons I know my husband has told me about what kind of childhood he had). My MIL is the type of person that can see a complete stranger, walk up to them and end up holding their baby after a few minutes. I kid you not, she has walked up to us in the store with a random baby and we’ve had to tell her to take it back. Seriously? Who walks up to complete strangers and asks to hold their baby and then that kids’ parents lets said stranger walk off with them? I just don’t understand…
Another issue I thought of that you might run into that my mom had with me. I was the type of baby that did NOT want anyone touching me (I still don’t like people touching me). I wanted to be left alone. My mom said I would get so upset with other people holding me (even some close relatives) that I would be up screaming for hours because it upset me so much. SO my mom got nasty looks, snide comments from a lot of people when she wouldn’t let people hold me since she didn’t want to deal with me flipping out because of it (if I was in a good mood, she would let others hold me, but not when I was in a don’t touch me phase).
Off to see what hell the cats are creating… I hear noises downstairs (who needs kids when I have bratty cats!). lol
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By Adlib on Feb 22, 2011
A lot of my stories would be boss/work stories, and like you said, that really won’t work here.
However, I went to a friend’s wedding who used to be my boss a few years ago. Some guy we worked with was there with his now ex-wife. She got really drunk and wrote something horrible in MARKER on a quilt wall-hanging that a relative of the bride’s had MADE for her for well-wishes, not the rantings of some drunk fool. It was horrible, but I think they were later able to repair it. What is wrong with people??
Also, just noticed while commenting that by your copyright stuff at the bottom it says “stealing makes you a wang”. Ha! Love!
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By drhoctor2 on Feb 22, 2011
I’ve had family pull some jawdroppers on me but they’ve all been verbal. The baby snatching thing ? I would lose my mind. After every birth of mine I would get so physically uncomfortable, like irritated, if anybody else held my infant for “too” long. i thought it was interesting in an oooh, i’mmma animal mammal” thing, but , YET.. give me back the baby. hah, hah..no REALLY. Give.
I’ve had to back Grandma up on ..cutesy little..Tell Mommy you wanna come live with Grandma ..and I always said right back in my best Romper Room voice..oh, no, babies live with their moms!!!!!!!!!
You do not have to let anyone visit, hold the baby, etc. for as long as YOU want. I hate sleepovers all together myself.
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Adlib Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Relative to this, this bugs my sister too, and she’s not a mom! There were always ladies at church snatching new babies from their mothers, and my sister got really angry about it! I agree with my sister, but I can’t imagine what the actual moms feel about this!
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drhoctor2 Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Oh, it was the itchiest skin crawly feeling ever.. after my first son I stocked up for my next deliveries and really wouldn’t leave the house for the first month..because I did not want to..I get mad about the two week appt. because I have to leave the house and take the baby out..in the world..and people will want to look at them…no.
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By Megan on Feb 22, 2011
Didn’t actually happen to me, but my best friend Judy was out grocery shopping a couple of weeks ago. She leaves her cart a few feet away to approach the deli counter- Her cart is 3/4 FULL. Judy turns back around to find….her cart is gone. Well, it can’t just disappear into thin air, can it? Turns out, another lady JUST TOOK THE CART FOR HERSELF! Keep in mind now, that the cart was mostly full. Of stuff SHE did not pick out, Judy did. So Judy confronted her, and the woman just acted like it was no big deal (she did hand the cart back over). But, I mean, WHO DOES THAT? Oh sure, people heist EMPTY carts all the time. Who in the hell would actually steal someone else’s carefully chosen groceries?!?!?!
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Erica Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 8:48 pm
Okay, I did this once. I got confused and thought somebody else’s cart was mine, and I walked away with it. He came after me. I smiled and apologized. I did, however, get all the way home and wonder where some of my groceries had gone. That poor guy probably got all the way home and wonder where those groceries came from.
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By Flame on Feb 22, 2011
The hell the cats were creating – they chewed through the wire on the antenna for the booster for the tv and one was rolling around on the floor playing with it. UGH Little assholes!
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By Amy on Feb 22, 2011
Mine would be insane MIL stories — granted, there are some that are still outrageous … like the OMG ones Christine told — but my MIL is insane. But not really with grandchildren. She drives me nuts about her own children. I pretty much refuse to talk to her unless it’s a holiday or a birthday. We went down to Florida for a week visit and I was about 5 weeks preggo. She introduced me to EVERYONE as her daughter in law who was pregnant with TWINS! This happened multiple times a day or she brought it up 10-15 times a day. Seriously. One — My mother is a twin and I was SO nervous about having twins so it made my eye twitch every time she said it and TWO — I was 5 weeks pregnant! I hadn’t even had my first doctor appointment! I had the first blood test that said pregnant and three days later — I’m in Florida.
I could go on and on — but the insanity would never stop.
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By Caitlin on Feb 22, 2011
Oh not much, just sitting here clicking refresh and enjoying all these stories.
One of the reasons I think my husband and I will remain childless (a small reason, but plays a role) is that our families are Keeeerazy. Each in their own special ways, but oh yes. Crazy.
Thanks for making me feel less alone, people of the internet!
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By cagey on Feb 22, 2011
My grandma constantly fusses at me for giving my kids ethnic food – curries and such. She seems to forget that my husband is from fucking INDIA. What the hell does she think HIS mother fed him when he was a kid??
Don’t even get me started on what happens when I let wind get in their ears. All hell breaks loose. Holy Hercules, one of these days she is going to push aside her walker and proceed to kick my ass. I swear this to be true.
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Therese Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 11:56 am
Oh, I can so relate to the wind thing. My house has high vaulted ceilings. To better facilitate airflow and keep the utility bills down, we run the ceiling fans pretty much all the time. My MIL swears that the ceiling fan (on Low on a vaulted ceiling) is making everyone sick. My son got an ear infection and she was adamant that the celing fan in the living room was the reason. She constantly walks through the house turning off all the ceiling fans. In the grand scheme of things, this is not that bad but still, you don’t just walk through other people’s houses messing with stuff!
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By AnonyPants on Feb 22, 2011
Going Anon for this one because well…yes.
My husband’s parents have been divorced for almost 30 years. His parents and stepmom are all nuts, but his Mom is especially possessive and weird about his dad (even though she apparently hates him. Like I said, nuts.).
After our wedding we found out that she tried to get the DJ to announce a special dance for ‘the mother and father of the groom’ because ‘it’s tradition for the mother and the father of the groom to dance together no matter if they’re married or not’. You know, like following the mother-son and father-daughter dances. Like an official, special dance just for them, with a special song and an empty dance floor and everything. She even went up and told his Dad about this and was trying to convince him to do it. Fortunately, both his Dad and the DJ declined. (And fortunately for her, we did not find out about it until after the fact, or I might well have punched her out then and there. She was smart enough to try and be sneaky.)
We were both enraged when we heard and when my husband asked her about it, she put up a fuss about how preposterous that he would ask her that, etc! The nerve!
She never outright denied it though, and then at the end of the conversation and after all her blustering she said… “But what would have been the problem if I DID do that??”.
Uh huh.
(Also, whenever challenged about an issue in a rational way – usually an issue about boundaries & respecting others – she resorts to responding “But I’m your MOM!”. I shudder to think what kind of shit she would try and pull with Grandkids and justify by saying she’s their grandmother. No thanks.)
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By Katy on Feb 22, 2011
Wow, just reading those stories made my pulse quicken and blood pressure rise. The stupid/crazy/selfish/inconsiderate things people do amaze me.
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By Kirsty on Feb 22, 2011
I, too, have plenty of crazy (now ex) MIL stories… My ‘favourite’ was I was just a few months out of losing my first baby at 23 weeks. I was fragile, depressed and probably not very hostess-y. MIL and I had a huge argument about her supposed “superiority” (I’m not going to bore you with the details, but she was (and still is) convinced that she’s some kind of “special” person, as in vaguely aristocratic, even though she grew up in social housing in an estate south of Paris) and stuff. Somehow, it got round to her mother and the dodgy parenting she believed in. I dared criticise and BAM – out she comes with, “Of course, if you were capable of being a mother yourself, you’d understand…”. I left the room in tears and sobbed myself to sleep.
I think not having to have much contact with her is the only good thing to have come out of my separation…
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Pinkie Bling Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 12:50 pm
Again – EVIL.
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Lara Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Oh generally I LOVE these stories too and am very much enjoying this post and the comments, but KIRSTY. Are you serious? I GASPED when I read this. Horrible, horrible.
And it sounds like we had similar ex-MIL’s. Mine too, thought she was somehow better than everyone else. She is half Indian/half English and grew up in Delhi, but won’t tell anyone where she grew up and refers to herself as a “Fine, British lady” as in “A fine, British lady does not discuss where one was born”. UGH.
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By -R- on Feb 22, 2011
Stories that don’t phase me are of the horrible boss type, especially horrible boss having an affair stories.
The story that shocked me above was the grandmother giving all the big nursery gifts and then taking them back!
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By Cherie Beyond on Feb 22, 2011
On the other end of the spectrum from the vegan folks: I am generally pretty health conscious and don’t feed my kids processed foods. However, I’m not an extremist and I also am very against “making a scene” or otherwise limiting my kids outside food choices. My theory is: I control 90% of their intake, and I know that 90% is healthy food, so 10% isn’t going to hurt them and may actually help them develop a good relationship with food.
HOWEVER, my in-laws seem to be afraid (?) that I will yell at them for giving my kids anything other than whole grains and fruit. I have watched them give the other grandkids treats while telling my daughter that her mother doesn’t want her to have something. Why would you do that to a three year old? WHY?
(And yes, I do tell them that they are welcome to feed my kid whatever. I don’t care. I make it clear that I don’t care. They still do it.)
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Cherie Beyond Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 11:45 am
I should also point out that I know this is not all that shocking, and that that they are doing it because they aer trying to respect my wishes (not undermine them) so points for that, BUT…it’s bothersome.
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Becky Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 12:14 pm
That would bother me too. Grandparents should treat kids fairly. ESPECIALLY when they are that small. Even if they have your interests at heart, why not say “Let’s ask your mom if you can have some,” instead of saying that you said no without even asking you. Gah.
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Kirsten Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 4:28 pm
The bothersome part to me is that they make *you* the evil mean person, making you the excuse they give for their awful behavior.
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By Karen on Feb 22, 2011
Oh holy hell those stories are something.
My mother-in-law was quite vocal (and very unapologetic) about her disdain for breastfeeding.
When we came to visit 6 weeks after the baby was born, she hid me in her bedroom to nurse him. Instead of giving me time alone with him, she paraded the neighbourhood through her bedroom. I was a brand new mother, and quite shy about nursing, so I didn’t appreciate it at all. Sadly, I was a bit of a mouse back then and didn’t say a word. Drove me nuts though!
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By Tara on Feb 22, 2011
Those stories are HILARIOUS! Sucks for the people involved, but OMG. I loved them.
The first time I was pregnant my brother-in-law, who had recently separated from his wife/mother of his thought-to-be child (turns out kid wasn’t his), gave me all sorts of pregnancy advice. Telling me to stay away from certain cheeses and not drink and not have too much caffeine, etc. He also gave my husband lots of parenting advice both times I was pregnant, like he, who saw his thought-to-be-son about 2 days a month, was in a position to tell my husband how to be a good father. He still gives advice, btw, now that we have a 2 month old. Because we don’t at all know what to expect? We don’t have friends/family members/doctors that can tell us things when we ask? I don’t really need breastfeeding advice from my BIL!
Another story: So after our first child was born (she was stillborn), we held off for awhile and had pretty much decided we were going to try to adopt (then we got pregnant again only 4 months later and have a wonderful, beautiful baby girl who’s 2 months old). My mother TEXTED me one night to tell me that she wanted to carry my child for me. Um. She’s in her 50s, has bad lungs, lives with a smoker, has 4 adult children, I didn’t ask her to do this, I had never considered surrogacy, and she knew we were not even thinking about TTC in any manner. Some people may find this a lovely gesture (http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/116351/grandmother_gives_birth_to_her). I was thoroughly frustrated and offended by this sudden, random offer.
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By Mama Bub on Feb 22, 2011
Oh, I have MIL stories for days. DAYS.
1. Every single time she talks to my three year old son on the phone she asks him if he wants to come to her house and go to a local Fun Place. He’s THREE. He does not understand that he can’t do these things RIGHT NOW. Also, he’s THREE, so he doesn’t get to make the decisions about when he can go over to her house.
2. She is totally the take the baby as soon as we walk into the house type. Regardless of whether the baby is in the car seat or stroller or my arms, she will TAKE the baby.
3. My aunt-in-law will RUB MY BABY’S FACE as I’m trying to rock her to sleep in someone else’s house. I can actually feel the rage boil up inside but I can’t say anything. I just keep slowly moving away, and she keeps following.
4. My MIL tells me that her babies had rice cereal in their bottles from two weeks old and that they were gumming steaks at four months. She then offers my three year old coffee and rolls her eyes when we take it away.
5. Both of my kids have middle names from my side of the family. After my daughter was born, my MIL looks at me and tells me that we’ll have to have another so we can represent her side of the family.
6. After the birth of my son – my first, we were visiting MIL. She was laying the sleeping baby down and we reminded her that he needed to go on his back. She and her visiting friend then went on to detail all of the people they knew who had babies who died while I sit there and try not to sob my crazy, hormonal, postpartum ass off.
7. One of my kids looks like me, one looks like their side of the family. She is CONSTANTLY saying that they finally got “their” baby because she’s darker skinned and darker haired than I am.
I have to stop now.
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Alex Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 12:48 pm
Coffee?! Holy cow.
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Home Sweet Sarah Reply:
February 25th, 2011 at 5:50 pm
OMG. If your kids have your husband’s last name (which I am sure they do), then guess what MIL? THEY REPRESENT YOUR SIDE OF THE FAMILY.
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Mama Bub Reply:
February 28th, 2011 at 7:42 am
And that is exactly what my best friend said to her in the moment. Amen.
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By Anne on Feb 22, 2011
My MIL, with whom I largely have a good relationship, has always had this view that my daughter was essentially too special to be saddled with me for a mother, and she demonstrates that in myriad ways, all of which drive me crazy, but aren’t truly insane like some of the stories you posted. Just occasional snide little comments which I try to ignore because she loves my daughter and because I know it’s coming from a place of insecurity and competitiveness.
By far the thing that she has does which has pissed me off the most, though, is when I told her that I was pregnant with my second, and she CRIED. Not happy tears, either. She didn’t want another grandchild because, according to her, her apartment was the perfect size for the ones she already had. And then she ignored the fact that I was pregnant for the next nine months. It took me my entire pregnancy to stop holding a grudge, and even that was only after she visited her newborn grandson a couple of weeks after he was born and had what appeared to be an appropriate grandmotherly affection.
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By Becky on Feb 22, 2011
My family is also mostly (kind of) normal, so these stories often shock me too.
I feel like this is related to the way you hate people talk to pregnant women, as if they can’t possibly know how they will parent, and they are so silly for thinking they might know. People continue with that attitude even once you are parenting.
My MIL is a wonderful woman, and I love her, but if she comments one more time about how it’s soon time for James to give up nursing I might punch her in the face. Or at least have to leave the room. Also, my husband’s sister drives me crazy (even though I love her too) because she will go pick James up from his crib when he’s been napping the second he makes a sound. Or she’ll take him from whoever has him (baby grabber!) and go try to put him down for a nap. Even if he was perfectly fine where he was. I try not to say anything because we don’t see them that often that it’s a problem, and I know she is just trying to help and likes to hold him. But seriously.
Also, I always feel judged when he’s fussy and the SIL or MIL say something like “Oh, I think he needs his diaper changed/is hungry/is tired,” and then I do those things, even though I had already thought in my head that I should do them and was going to do them anyway and I AM HIS MOTHER AND I KNOW HOW TO DO MY JOB LEAVE ME ALONE. I know they don’t mean anything by it, and it’s just my insecurities, but still. Drives me crazy.
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By Becky on Feb 22, 2011
I think your website ate my comment, and I have to get back to work. I’ll be back, though, to read the rest of these and submit my own!
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By J on Feb 22, 2011
Oh wow. I feel a bit more normal now. LOL!
I do have a story though. A family member recently had a baby boy. The grandmother of the baby decided to pay a visit one afternoon, bringing along another older grandkid. She knocked on the door, no answer. So she used her key and let herself in. Baby boy is napping and so is mom. Does grandma leave? No. Baby is in the nursery, so she goes in, wakes him, and proceeds to play with him while the mom is sleeping. Then she just happened to have a bonnet (intended for girls, which is not the gender of this baby!) so she put it on the baby. Oh look, she has a camera, too. So she asked the older grandchild to take a photo of her and the dressed up baby because it was funny. The mother hears the commotion and goes into the nursery to see her little boy dressed as a girl. She was absolutely furious. The grandmother was then banned from the house for a long time and her key was taken away. Can’t blame the baby’s family one bit for it.
That’s just one nut on the family tree. We have many more. Sympathies are appreciated.
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Capn John Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Damn! It’s a good thing Grandma got caught, and the mother didn’t find out from seeing the photograph. This actually freaks me out a bit and makes me wonder if Grandma hadn’t done that before, visiting while Mom was sleeping, only this time she got caught.
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By Bre on Feb 22, 2011
Oh the crazy in-law stories…
So I have a step-son who lives with my husband and I full time. I have been “mom” since he was 4 and real mom is basically absentee. I refer to him as our son because in my eyes he is. No step needed in his name.
When our son was 6, my husband took him over to my FIL for Christmas. My husband doesn’t get along with his dad (my FIL and I’ve never actually met him because they don’t interact) but took our son over to visit with him. My FIL had presents for him and let him open them all. Then when our son wanted to play with said presents my FIL took them all away and said “He cannot have these until you let me stay with me for the weekend.” True story. My husband scooped up our son and left at that point (with our son crying because he didn’t understand why he couldn’t have the toys). My FIL still, to this day 6+ years later, doesn’t understand “what he did wrong” and why we don’t interact with him (there was actually a lot more brewing but that was the straw that broke my husband’s back).
During a visit with my MIL, our son was talking about wanting a motor scooter. One of those mini motorcycle bike things. He was going on and on about how much fun it would be and how he really wanted one. My MIL turned to our son (with my husband and I sitting right there) and said “I don’t care what your daddy says. If you get one of those mini motorcycle bikes I’m coming over to your house and taking it away. Grandma says you can’t have one.” At which point my husband stepped in and said something to the effect that we were the parents, not her, and that wasn’t a decision she got to make.
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By Mama Bub on Feb 22, 2011
Oh, and she sends every email in all caps with no punctuation. This may be the egregious of all errors.
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Adlib Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 12:48 pm
Ha, my MIL does that too! Drives me crazy, but then I remember that she’s a tad bit crazy so then I get over it. I’m just glad she lives in FL far away from me!
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Mrs. CPA Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 12:53 pm
The subject line of EVERY one of my MIL’s emails to me is her name. Which is basically what they are all about anyway. Her.
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TJ Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 12:56 pm
Something about this just struck me as so perfectly hilarious that I am snort-laughing. Seriously, I actually hurt something back up in my sinuses. There are tears, I am laughing so hard.
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tessymo Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Ack!
My MIL writes her emails to us properly, but never fails to sign them “MOM”. Nothing else it caps locked, just MOM. It drives me totally crazy (which is dumb/irrational, I realize).
I think it bugs me so much because I read it as “don’t forget, I’m your MOM” and “I’m so important I deserve caps lock, because I’m your MOM”.
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moojoose Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 7:14 pm
What is it with the all caps? My MIL will randomly choose words to put in all caps (“Can we SKYPE with the grandkids soon? Or is it called WEBCAM?”) And, never fails, signs all her emails MOM-[HERNAME]. Lady, I don’t care how many hints you drop, I have a mom, and you aren’t her! It’s not. going. to. happen.
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By Alex on Feb 22, 2011
My jaw just dropped so many times I think it’s become permanently unhinged. Worth it – this stuff is gold.
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By Carrie on Feb 22, 2011
Unfortunately, my mom is the bad one when it comes to the kids. His mom barely sees them because she lives on the other side of the state and has agoraphobia off and on so she doesn’t travel much.
1. My son was still a baby, his sister wasn’t even a twinkle in my eye yet. My husband went to pick him up from my mom’s because he wanted him at home, and my parents wanted him to stay longer or something (I forget, it was 7 years ago, and I wasn’t there to see it). So he went over to get him, and when he got there, our son was laying on the floor, not even close to ready to leave. This is my mom’s stalling tactic for getting us to stick around and chat. Husband was having none of it, so he picked the baby up and got his stuff together. My mom is upset about this and falls over in a fake faint on the floor. He calmly stepped over her and went on his way.
2. My parents are big into the “have stuff at our house for the kids” thing. When they have sleepovers, my son sleeps in my brother’s old room and my daughter sleeps in mine. My old closet is FULL TO OVERFLOWING with clothes for both kids to wear while they’re over there. They have shoes, sweaters, dresses, hair stuff, EVERYTHING. When they were babies we used to pack a bag for them but we stopped bothering because most of the time they came back in the exact same state they went out in. And toys, OMG. They probably have just as many toys at my mom’s house as they do at our house, which is to say a lot. And they have videos for them to watch and on and on.
3. My mom does not seem to understand that our children are growing up. My son is now 7 and my daughter just turned 5, and when my parents have us over for dinner they still give the kids SIPPY CUPS. Not in the “oh, they’re carrying them around the house while they play and I really don’t want stains on the carpet if they spill” way, but AT THE TABLE. Until relatively recently they still had to wear enormous bibs too.
4. They bought our son a bike when he was 4. Not for his birthday or anything, but because they saw it on sale and they wanted him to have one to ride at their house because their neighbors have kids his age and THEY have bikes, so they didn’t want him to feel left out. Never mind that my husband and I might have wanted to teach him to ride one or anything. They didn’t even ask, just went out and did it.
I’m sure stuff like this will keep happening as they get older too. It makes me want to move halfway across the country so they can’t keep pulling these sorts of stunts, because between trying to keep from getting disowned and avoiding getting a divorce because my husband always has to put up with this stuff… I’m going out of my mind.
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Bre Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Oh you reminded me of so much.
To your point 2. My MIL had an entire room of stuff for our son. When he would visit and she would buy him a toy she would insist that it stay at her house for “next time.”
3. My MIL does not understand that her grandson is in junior high and doesn’t want to play with his matchbox cars for hours anymore. When we visited last time, she got mad when he would rather play on his ipod than with his toys from when he was 3.
4. My MIL bought my son a bike and got mad when my husband told her she couldn’t teach him how to ride without training wheels. Mad, mad. Like why wouldn’t it be ok for grandma to teach you how to ride a bike, why does he need to wait for dad.
And a point you didn’t make but your post reminded me of – when we bought our house my MIL was mad that we were moving 30 minutes further away from her. Could not be happy for the fact that we were buying a house at all because we were moving further away and not closer!
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By Swistle on Feb 22, 2011
This is excellent: the posts and the comments. It’s like the Reader’s Digest edition of The Internet: just the good parts, and written well too.
I am particularly fond of Bad MIL stories, but after awhile I get too worked up and have to have a little drink and a lie-down.
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By Mrs. CPA on Feb 22, 2011
My most outrageous new baby experience was from the people who attended my childbirth class before my son was born. I could not believe that these people were about to bring children into the world and raise them.
My OB delivered babies at the University of Alabama @ Birmingham medical school hospital, so the hospital served an more urban mix of mothers to be than other hosiptals in town.
We were the second oldest couple there at 23 and 25.
One girl and her friend got so hung up on being paralyzed and suing the hospital over a botched epidural, that we had to have a special presentation from an anesthesiologist. You could see the dollar signs in their eyes. Another girl asked about how to heat up breastmilk as you fed your baby. Like it coming out of your body at body temperature was not acceptable or something. I don’t know how she was going to achieve that. Maybe with a special heating pad or something? A breast warmer similar to a bottle warmer that you stick your boobs in?
One person asked if they could have a water birth. Um, no. UAB does not have any water birth rooms, and if you wanted that you might have wanted to check with your doctor and made a different choice before 35 weeks!
One person asked if they could still walk up and down the hall after they got their epidural.
There were questions about choking and being smothered by pacifiers, about how to give the baby a bath (do you use water?), all kinds of craziness.
Every night for six weeks Tim and I looked at each other with an, “oh dear Jesus, some people should be sterilized,” look on our faces.
And when I went for an appointment at my doctor’s office there was this poor girl and her mother with the girl’s tiny new baby in the bucket seat carrier – WITH THE BASE STILL ATTACHED. They took the entire thing out of the car and were carrying it around!
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Life of a Doctor's Wife Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 2:48 pm
In defense of the couple who didn’t know if you use water to bathe babies, you apparently bathe chinchillas in dust. I’ve never had a baby, but I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that it’s similar to a chinchilla when new.
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Mrs. CPA Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 3:01 pm
That would also be assuming, doctor’s wife, that these poor souls knew what a chinchilla even was. I can only image that they would have asked what aisle those are on at babies r us and where can you register for one.
Maybe they thought you were supposed to lick them clean like a dog or cat does? Carry them by the scruff of the neck to the water dish and dunk them? I don’t know.
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Ariel Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 3:02 pm
they probably thought you used baby wipes.
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Life of a Doctor's Wife Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 6:28 pm
All perfectly reasonable options!
Cherie Beyond Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 10:19 am
Well, now, I watched “Babies” just this weekend and you know what? The mother in Namibia DID lick her baby clean because (I’m assuming) there wasn’t enough water for baths. So there you go. LEGIT.
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Mrs. CPA Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 11:16 am
Well, I stand corrected! Licking is an acceptable form of human baby washing! I’m going to put that in my (nonexistant) birth plan for this kid.
“Do not take baby, will be wanting to lick baby clean during skin to skin contact immediately after birth.”
What do you think the nurses will have to say about that?
I’d probably be in the middle of one of those court cases trying to have me declared mentally incompetent before the baby is born.
We probably shouldn’t be saying this too loudly either. The next thing you know TJ will see on all her message boards about how people are having natural births and licking the baby clean like they do in Nambia. It’s “more earthy that way, you know.”
Cherie Beyond Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Heh. It wasn’t after birth, actually. It was a few months in. She just licked the dust of the baby’s face. So…less gross than you are imagining.
Lauren Reply:
July 24th, 2011 at 11:08 am
I would like to know if the average adult human can produce enough saliva to adequately lick an entire baby clean. I mean, I know babies are small but they’re not THAT small. Your part of the comment thread here had me DYING laughing. I’m so glad I’ll never have to deal with all of this! Sounds to me like in addition to everything else on my List of Reasons Not to Procreate, I can add the obvious mental health benefits!
Melissac Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 3:11 pm
I just snorted water out my nose.
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Rhy Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Oh man..cannot breathe…laughing hurts…chinchilla baby!
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By Ashley on Feb 22, 2011
I get along pretty well with my in-laws, although they (FIL especially) tend to be a little controlling. The biggest thing when my daughter was a baby was that they thought they had a RIGHT to see her at least a couple of times a week and that it was OUR responsibility to make sure that happened. They thought we should make the 45-minute drive (that’s 45 minutes ONE WAY) to their house with our teeny, colicky, carseat-hating baby every couple of days. Um, no.
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Mary K Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Yes! My parents are two hours away and were offended we didn’t make the trip until we were confident she could handle it. We got a lot of “but she won’t remember!” and “nothing’s wrong, it’s harder for you than it is for her” from both sides. I’m sorry but just because she won’t remember screaming for two hours abandoned to a bucket seat doesn’t mean it has no effect on her.
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By Life of a Doctor's Wife on Feb 22, 2011
I can’t think of a specific type of Bad Behavior that doesn’t shock and appall me. I just cannot get over people acting like crazy self-obsessed brainless banshees or whatever.
The grandparents/babies stories terrify me. I don’t have kids, but what if having kids transforms my in-laws and parents into these weirdos?
(The crazy must start long before the baby arrives, right? I mean, you don’t go straight from Perfectly Normal If Once in a While Neurotic Parent to Crazy Gift Take-Backing, Coffee-Feeding Grandparent, right?)
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Christina Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 3:06 pm
This is what I’m hoping too. My parents and in-laws are great, so I’m hoping that when we start having kids in a few years, they don’t turn into crazy folk.
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By Wulfa on Feb 22, 2011
I don’t have any crazy-relative stories, but my relatives have crazy relative stories. My MIL & FIL lived with his parents for a few years while my husband and his brothers were still kids. My husband has fond memories, but my MIL told me stories of having the t.v. blasting at all hours of the night despite requests to turn it down, being told she was parenting the wrong way and not being allowed to do her own kid’s laundry, and of being demeaned and yelled at by her FIL. One of the primary reasons I decided to retain my own last name and not incorporate my husband’s is because of those stories. I couldn’t have the same last name as those people.
As kind of a P.S., though, my MIL’s MIL is still alive and loves my children. She sends them boxes of toys for Christmas and gifts for every other holiday too. Fortunately we live far away, or I’m thinking I would initiate a family crisis by telling her to tone down the gifts:)
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By Rhy on Feb 22, 2011
I have some “almost-MIL” stories. Several years ago, I was engaged (didn’t marry him, but that’s another story). My fiance’s mom, B, was utterly ridiculous. Self-centered, manipulative, emotionally unstable…
1. Once, during a party for something-or-other (B loved to throw parties), she pointed out the daughter of a family friend. She told me that they’d always expected my fiance to marry HER, and everyone was surprised when he proposed to me.
2. My fiance and I had decided we were not going to have biological children, due to some significant health problems on my end. Adoption was still on the table, but childbirth was out of the question. B made a HUGE fuss over this, as my fiance was the only male available to produce spawn to “carry on the family name” (apparently it doesn’t count if they’re adopted). Who cares about my health? She wanted grandbabies! With the proper last name! My fiance’s sister wasn’t all that pleased with this one either.
3. While my fiance’s family was rather well-off, B’s sister and brother-in-law made significantly more (they owned a very successful business). Shortly after B’s custom-built, fantastically-furnished house was completed, she complained to me about how her sister did not help her out financially at all. Apparently it didn’t matter that B’s husband made enough to keep them VERY comfortable — her sister had MORE, so she should share!
4. My fiance didn’t make a big fuss when he proposed to me. He just got down on one knee and asked — which was perfectly fine by me, I was thrilled. B, however, made a HUGE fuss over it. He should have done something ROMANTIC…and SHE should have been there to see it! Our engagement was all about HER, you know.
I could go on, but my blood pressure is rising just talking about this woman, so I shall leave you with these. Thank goodness she didn’t actually become my MIL. >.<
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By Nancy P on Feb 22, 2011
uh oh. Just shoot me now because I don’t see what is all that wrong about a grandparent having a crib or clothes etc at their place. I would have been thrilled not to lug that shit back and forth when my kids were little. My evil MIL lived about 3 hrs away even though we weren’t up there that often is would have been great not to pack so much stuff.
Now I am worried that I will end up being THAT grandma! WTF?
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Capn John Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Nancy, the problem was not with the MIL having a crib, clothes, nursery, etc. at her house, it was announcing she was buying all those things, presenting them at the baby shower, then taking everything to her own home.
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By avasmommy on Feb 22, 2011
My MIL is the queen of passive aggressiveness. I could go on for days. But I won’t. I will however ask that someone see if they can top this:
My MIL has been known to call herself “Mommy” to my daughter. The fact that she’s still alive (MIL, that is) is beyond anyone’s comprehension, including mine.
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Pinkie Bling Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 11:02 am
Duuuuuuuuuuuude.
You are showing excellent restraint in refraining from doing her bodily harm.
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Beth Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 2:07 pm
I don’t even know what to say to this, other than that I agree, completely, with Pinkie Bling. I’d have cut a bitch.
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By Laura on Feb 22, 2011
Oh, dear. I have reading material for a week now.
All of my stories are about my MIL with my SIL in a supporting role.
1) My daughter, now five, was 7 months old. Just recently started solid foods, still doing the one new fruit/veggie every few days thing. We were visiting my MIL, about a 1.5 hr drive away. After dinner, my husband and I went out for a quick cup of coffee because MIL wanted to give us a break. We went to starbucks, had a snack and a latte, and came home an hour later. To find my infant daughter vomiting. Because my MIL had fed her an entire bowl of strawberry ice cream.
2. We’ve flown cross country with my in-laws for a family reunion and are spending the day in San Fransisco. My SIL wants to be the one to push the stroller, with my 10 month old son in it, while we take care of my 3 year old daughter. She is repeatedly going through intersections not at crosswalks or through crosswalks when they are marked “don’t walk”. I ask her several times to slow down and be careful. Instead, she glares at me and runs directly through an intersection, WITH MY INFANT SON IN A STROLLER, to the sound of brakes slamming and horns beeping all over the place. Listen, I lose it. I do. I don’t swear or call her names, but I do yell, a lot, about how angry I am and how irresponsible and dangerous that was. She spends the next three (3) hours sitting on a bench near Navy Pier, tweeting about what a bitch I am. My MIL wags her finger in my face and says that her daughter is very sensitive and I should watch my tone.
3. SIL has always had a horrible driving record. She totaled her second car in a year, and should have gotten a DWI but was friends with the cop on the scene. After this- and we should have done this before- we tell our MIL that no matter how inconvenient it is, SIL is never, ever, ever to drive our children anywhere. Ever. (she lives with my inlaws) MIL calls my husband every night for a week trying to guilt him into changing his mind because we’ve “broken her heart” and are “cruel for not giving her a second chance.”
And oh, how I could go on…
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By Natalie on Feb 22, 2011
So I don’t have a MIL story, but I did go to a wedding this weekend and have been dying to share this story with someone. We know the groom, and his now-wife has a daughter about 6 years old. He has no kids. She was very insistent about being a new family, etc, him accepting the kid. OK, good. He was up for it.
So at the wedding, the daughter is wearing a white dress. OK. Then during the ceremony, after the couple got married, he essentially married the daughter too-she came in between them and they said some vows (do you promise to guide and love her as your own, and the like). THEN, they went out to take pictures while we all sat there, and when they came back in, they introducted the daughter as the JUNIOR BRIDE. I don’t know if the DJ just made that up or what, but I was horrified.
Also, this wedding was at a banquet hall where the guests were seated at their dinner tables for the entire thing. We sat for the ceremony and then waited while they did pictures, and remained seated for the reception.
Not really appalling, necessarily, but bizarro.
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Steph Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 7:09 pm
I dunno…I’m kind of appalled by that. Man oh man.
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Adlib Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 8:45 pm
Ew, that seems very creepy to me.
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Adlib Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 8:47 pm
Well maybe not creepy per se, but definitely weird.
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JCF Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 10:33 pm
Weird. I went to a wedding where the bride had two daughters, and they really wanted to include the daughters in the wedding ceremony. They were flower girls, and the new stepfather gave each girl a little charm bracelet with her name on it. They also made the wedding kid-friendly and allowed the girls to invite a few friends. They served the kids separate plates with kid food selected by their girls, and there was a candy table at the reception. It was very sweet and not creepy at all. Junior bride? Creepy.
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By Michelle on Feb 22, 2011
wow. just… wow.
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By Liz on Feb 22, 2011
My mother in law asked me – at family dinner, in front of lots of people, early in our relationship [read: we didn't know each other very well, relatively] – if she could be in the room when I give birth and if she could catch the baby.
… just…no.
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By Anon on Feb 22, 2011
So. My sister in laws family.
1. The day of my sister-in-law’s wedding, her mom and sister tell her to “hurry up, we’re running late, and it’s not like you’re going to look any better than you usually do. let’s GO”
2. My sister in law’s sister (…got that?) has one child, and told us – in front of my sister in law – that she would never have a second child because giving a child a sibling is the worst thing you could do to their life. While gesturing to her sister as if to “Obviously”
3. that same woman’s actual child, age 8ish (who will apparently always remain siblingless, ha) and I were talking at a family dinner and she asked me “Am I bothering you? Because I bother people a lot on account of my ADD.” When I said “no” (she seemed normal to me, at least hadn’t been disruptive or weirder than any other 8 yo ever is) she replied “Oh good, maybe I won’t have to take a pill today.” At which point her mom came over, apologized to me for her kid “bothering” me and that she would give her a pill to make her be quiet… and then told her kid it was time for her ADD meds. The girl spent the rest of the evening staring, silently, at her plate, totally drugged.
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Leigh Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 6:46 am
#3 makes me want to cry.
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Adlib Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 6:59 am
Yeah, #3 is really sad. Wow.
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Capn John Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 2:51 pm
I don’t understand how #3 cannot be considered child abuse.
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By Anon for this one :) on Feb 22, 2011
My family and my husband’s family are super. Very few crazies in the bunch. I have 4 fabulous sisters in law too who love my kid but have comfortable boundaries.
My sons are exceptionally good looking. Far cuter than my husband and I. What can I say, our genes mixed up created some attractive boys. My father-in-law in an effort to be funny I think, and he is a very kind man, very kind, has asked my husband several time if he’s sure he’s the father because the kids are too good looking to be his. I find that mortifying not funny.
We announced both boys intended names well in advance of the births and everyone said what delightful names they were and yay for honoring grandfathers and great uncles and what-not. We talked about how I found out the grandpa’s Italian name from the Ellis Island records and how we were going to use that instead of the name he switched to after immigrating. What I’m saying is, CONVERSATIONS WERE HAD in which if anyone had anything to offer about the name, that was the time to say it. And no one said anything… until the baby was three months old. Then it was put forward that the name we named our baby was not the grandfather’s name but an error at Ellis Island. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! That ship has sailed, the baby is named. Keep it to yourself.
ahem.
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By Marie Green on Feb 22, 2011
Well, before I start this I have to say that FIL had a TBI (traumatic brain injury) so much of his “craziness” is simply his inability to filter things properly. But it still doesn’t make him any less difficult to deal with. Also, he’s usually a lovely, kind person, with just a few “hot button” things that get him going.
1. The day we brought our twins home from the hospital was an exhausting one. I was recovering from surgery AND learning to take care of TWO babies. It took us ALL DAY to check out of the hospital, and by the time we drove 1/2 home, it was getting dark. We were hungry and exhausted. My in-laws brought over a really awesome, all-home-cooked meal, and as we sat down to eat, I mentioned that it had been 3-4 hours since the babies had eaten and that they’d be waking at any moment. My FIL jumped RIGHT IN to say sternly that they needed to “learn to cry it out” and that we could just let them cry while we finished our meal. UH? I’m sorry? But my 5 day old, barely 5lb babies were supposed to wail their lungs out in the other room while we “enjoyed” the rest of our dinner? Because THEY NEEDED TO LEARN?
Unforch, he’s the type that thinks that if you DISAGREE with him it’s not because you hold a different opinion, but b/c you simply don’t UNDERSTAND his point. So for the first 3 months of the girls lives, he followed me around– literally, if we were at a family gathering or something– “explaining” to me that they needed to “cry it out for exercise.” I love him, but I did have to hold him at an arm’s length for awhile there!
2. He also, every time we’ve told him that I was pregnant, has launched into this LONG tirade about “not getting attached to this pregnancies” and “things can go wrong.” This time, I was stalling in telling my in-laws, and when my husband asked why, I told him that I knew exactly what his dad would say. He (OF COURSE) didn’t remember that his dad said this. So, cue to us telling them a few weeks ago, and his dad, right as predicted, launched into his spiel. David, being prepared this time, snapped to his dad “THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE to say to us!” and his dad felt bad. I think he honestly thought that pregnant women never KNEW they could lose the baby, and the HE had to educate them!
Oh, family!
(My mom’s side of the family is even crazier, with no TBI as an excuse!)
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Molly Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Ugh, my mother is a “babies need to cry it out to exercise their lungs” proponent. She drove me nuts with that crap when my baby was only TWO WEEKS old and now refers back to how “extremely nervous” my husband and I were with our son because we didn’t let him cry it out properly. RAGE.
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By Steph on Feb 22, 2011
So about 3 weeks before my wedding, my future SIL called me frantically to ask me NOT to read an email she had just accidently sent out to a group instead of to an individual friend as she had intended. Since I had ALREADY checked my email, I knew her concern, and so didn’t answer her call. Because I was bawling.
She totally bitched up and down about Every. Little. Thing. That she had to be at the church at 11 a.m. for a 3:00 wedding and that was right in the middle of her 18 month old’s naptime and DIDN’T WE EVEN CONSIDER ANYONE ELSE?! Here is where I would like to say that we decided to do ALL of our pictures BEFORE the wedding, so everyone had to be dressed and ready by noon AND I had HIRED PEOPLE OUT OF MY OWN POCKET to do all of my bridesmaids’ hair. Which is why I asked her to be there at 11. To get her free hairdo. Also, since it’s a WEDDING and all, there are practically meellions of family members available to babysit the first grandchild/great grandchild/precious precious napping schedule snowflake. Then she bashed the dresses and how ugly they were. I actually shopped with five of my bridesmaids (I had 9, I know, long story, but no regrets) who were all actually VERY honest with me and we all decided on this style dress.
She complained about how her daughter wasn’t IN the ceremony; again: 18 months old. Loved her, still do, but I had a freaking NURSERY at my wedding. I was having none of the small children who are adorable but cranky and loud and don’t care and won’t remember and will ruin it for me when I can’t hear my husband’s vows. Absolutely no regrets on that one.
Then, inevitably she starts in on ME and how I’m not good enough for her brother, ETC ETC.
Anyway. Eventually my fiance (now husband) came back, I showed him the email, there was “handling” which included her apologizing but I still have the email. And the brutally honest assessment of myself entering into a family I loved.
And I did everything I could to not say “YOU KNOW YOU ARE A BRIDESMAID BY *DEFAULT* RIGHT? BY BEING THE GROOM’S SISTER? NOT BECAUSE I *WANT* YOU TO BE?”
We get along fine now, but I am pretty sure she doesn’t realize how little she actually knows about me. Not that she cares b/c, as my husband puts it, “here is SIL” (holding up one finger) and “here is the world” (other hand’s finger circling the first finger). And since I suck at descriptors, that would be “the world revolves around SIL”.
Also, b/c I AM a bitch? 5 years later and she’s divorced and I’m not. (Not saying it can’t happen! Just saying. Because I’m petty and mean and remembering this episode makes me angry again.)
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Adlib Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 8:58 pm
Oh. My. God. It would have been SO hard not to boot her from the bridal party, but I totally know why you didn’t. I’m dead from this.
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Natalie Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 11:16 am
That’s awful. I would have booted her too.
But this reminded me that in addition to the “junior bride” from my post above, there was a loud child who was the ringbearer, and instead of taking him out after he kept making noise, his mother kept him in the back of the room (directly behind me) the entire time. I feel certain both the wedding video and many people’s experience was ruined because we couldn’t hear the vows. Except the junior bride vows, of course.
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By Mel on Feb 22, 2011
GAH! You are bringing back SO MANY memories of my adventures with my MIL.
I still laugh looking at all of the photos from the night my first son was born, because she was so pissed that we wouldn’t let her in the room for the actual birth, she scowled through every photo taken. I also love how she YELLED at the nurse (and me) when it came time to try breastfeeding for the first time. Ah, good times.
The best part, which showcases her asshole-ery, is what she said to my husband (her son) upon entering the room.
MIL: Oh, the floor is clean now?
Hubby: (no comment, too busy taping the newborn baby)
MIL: The nurse said we couldn’t come in until the floor was cleaned up. I assumed that it was you (pointing at my husband) they had to clean up. I knew you couldn’t handle it!
The best part is it is captured on film for all of eternity.
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Kristin H Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 2:59 pm
I have read every entry so far and this? This one made me laugh out loud.
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By JCF on Feb 22, 2011
My grandma is the crazy one in our family, but luckily she is old and infirm enough that she isn’t capable of babysitting our kids, because I’d hate to have to handle that one.
She constantly undermines my authority with the kids (they are 3, 2, and 7 months). I’ll tell her the baby can’t have popcorn, and then she’s putting popcorn in front of him at the table when I’m not looking. I tell her the kids can’t have candy before breakfast, and I walk into the room to see her hiding in the corner with my 2 year old, stuffing her pockets with Skittles.
The best ever was when she and my aunt (let’s call her Sara) were at my house one afternoon. I put my then 2 year old son down for a nap in his crib, and as we sat in the living room talking, we could hear that he wasn’t sleeping. He was just in bed talking to himself and playing, not crying. My grandma turned to my aunt and said, “Sara, he is not going to take a nap. Go get him out of there and bring him over to me.” She said this RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, without even looking at me. I immediately said, “No! He is fine in there, even if he doesn’t fall asleep. I’ll decide when he can get up.” Luckily, my aunt is normal, and wouldn’t have done it anyway, but I was FUMING.
I could go on, but I’ll probably get myself worked up if I keep typing. I have a long huge list of Nana stories that would make you gasp in horror.
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By ZombiePirate on Feb 23, 2011
WOW, all of these are amazing in a WTF kind of way. I feel happy about my normal famililes and in-laws, although with our first child due in just under two weeks and it will be the in-laws first grandkid I hope they don’t do a jekyll and Hyde thing although I can’t see it happening.
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By Jess on Feb 23, 2011
So…my father and I hadn’t spoken for three years because I wasn’t ‘grateful’ enough and even when I became pregnant and called him, hung up on me. When I had my eldest son, 4 weeks after, I flew out to the east coast to see my mother, my grandmother and other family sans him.
Unbeknown to me my grandmother had invited my father over. It was -incredibly- awkward.
However, my then six week old baby was placed on the floor while we all sat around and marveled over the perfection of babies..and he promptly? rolled over. On his own. At six weeks.
My grandmother and I were so excited! My father looks down and says..and I quote.
“Roll over Rover..Roll over.”
Yeah.
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By Shelly on Feb 23, 2011
The story that skeeves me out the most happened to my fiance’s sister-in-law. SIL’s parents have long been out of the picture. She grew up with her grandparents, who at the time were both ill (they’ve since passed away), and she’s worked hard at developing a relationship with her husband’s family as a result of that, I think.
Anyhow, she went into labor and was in the delivery room with her husband. Also in the delivery room were my fiance’s parents (the MIL and FIL). I assumed at the time that FIL would step out when things really got moving along, but, uh, no. He comes out into the waiting room talking about how he stood and watched the whole delivery from the foot of the bed, and how it was all so natural and so beautiful that he forgot he was looking at his exposed daughter-in-law with her feet in the air.
I made my fiance swear then and there that he would be the only person in the delivery room with me, should that ever come to pass. I don’t want my parents in there, and I sure as hell don’t want his parents in there. I can relate to women who are okay with mom and MIL being there, if that’s their choice – but the FIL??!!
Ooogah-oogah.
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By Just Me on Feb 23, 2011
My in-law story ventures into the creepier realm and revolves around the FIL and his unnatural eagerness to take our children, specifically my 10-year old son, to the restroom.
We’ll meet them at a restaurant and one of the first things the FIL does is ask our son if he needs to use the restroom, hoping the boy will say yes so he can take him. Despite a restaurant restroom not being a place one would want to spend copious amounts of time, our son let it slip that they play basketball in there using wadded up paper towel and the trash bins.
Now we make our son go before we leave home, or go before the in-laws get to the restaurant. Of course the FIL will still ask if the boy needs to go, and despite us saying he’s already been, the FIL will repeat his question this time posed directly to our son. When the boy says he doesn’t need to go the FIL will get up to go anyway, then ask the boy to come with him. That’s not the creepy bit. Okay, it is creepy, but it’s not the creepiest.
Since then we’ve coached our son to lock the restroom door when he goes, especially at the in-laws, and a good thing, too. On more than one occasion when visiting the in-laws the FIL has come downstairs and asked where our son is, and on being told he’s in the restroom he’ll go knock on the restroom door and ask our son to let him in.
I’ve even said, as the FIL is knocking on the door, “The boy is in there,” only to be told, “I know.”
Knock! Knock! Knock!
“Let me in.”
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Pinkie Bling Reply:
February 27th, 2011 at 3:07 am
Whiskey. Tango. FOXTROT!!!
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Lauren Reply:
July 24th, 2011 at 1:50 pm
“Whiskey. Tango. FOXTROT!!!” INDEED!!! I am floored … Absolutely floored! That is CREEPY and WEIRD and wrong on SO many levels!
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By Lisa on Feb 23, 2011
When I told my mother that her first grandchild was going to be a boy, she said “Bummer.” I spent a few minutes trying to convince her grandsons were as good as granddaughters but she wouldn’t have it. Two years later I got ready to tell her her second grandchild would also be a boy, and I for days I prepared a little “you really hurt my feelings, please be happy for me” speech…and she said “Congratulations! That’s fantastic.”
Rage, I tell you.
Of course, I remember when I was about 10 and my sisters and I were playing outside and my grandmother was hovering over us, and my mom told her mother to stop hovering, and my grandmother said “You just don’t know these children like I do.” So…at least I know where she got it from.
Nature or nurture, I’m still doomed.
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By Someone on Feb 23, 2011
This has nothing to do with in-laws, parents or grandparents, but I think it’s equally outrageous (and really gross – that’s your warning).
I work retail and recently I had a customer (an older gentleman. Our business is small so our bathroom is unisex) come and tell me there was a “situation” in the bathroom.
Well, I go into the bathroom and there’s a freaking USED maxi-pad on the bathroom counter! It wasn’t even wrapped up. The waste basket is right next to toilet! It’s not like you can miss it. I mean seriously…who does that? It was beyond nasty.
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By moojoose on Feb 23, 2011
I could go on for DAYS. So glad my MIL isn’t the only one with teh crazy. Here are my favorites:
1. My BIL and SIL had just moved to the area. She was 7 months pregnant, he was about to ship out with the Navy for 8 months. The baby stops growing, so 1 week after moving, they induce her. MIL & FIL drive 3.5 hours to come camp out in the hospital for 4 DAYS until the baby was born. MIL takes over the hospital room, forcing SIL to watch the dog show on repeat. Everytime the dr or nurse would come in, MIL would interrupt the [very distressing] updates with tales of how she “almost died” when giving birth to my husband. Or how, when SIL’s husband was born, she was so disappointed that he wasn’t a girl that she didn’t look at him for 2 days. And then she would try to interpret the monitors for the nurses and talk all about how HER daughter wasn’t in labor for that long. MY GOD. My husband and I are in agreement: his parents don’t get called until there is a fully-birthed baby.
2. Husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage. We have them every other weekend. In-laws live 4.5 hours away, we live 3 hours from the kids’ mom. It’s a lot of driving, and we just don’t drive to visit the in-laws unless we have the kids for an extended amount of time (like vacation or holiday). MIL cannot STAND this. Whenever they come to spend time with us (we drive halfway to spend the day together), she tells the kids “you need to come to MY house to see me. You never come see ME” or she’ll tell them on the phone “you need to tell Daddy you want to come to my house.” God bless my step-son, once, when she asked on the phone if we were going to make any plans to come see her anytime soon he told her “no, but you’re allowed to come visit us.”
3. We had a formal wedding, black and white, with very little touches of red. MIL is known for her very, uh, loud outfits. She’s 46, but wears lots of polyester. When husband’s cousin got married, she showed up in head-to-toe, lady of the night red. Complete with matching hair bow. (Oh, she has one for every outfit). We were very careful to tell her that our main colors were black and white and she was very particular in asking what color she could wear. I told her black would very formal and nice. My mom–who single-handedly pulled our wedding together in a month without so much as a phone call from MIL–found herself a very nice black outfit even though she doesn’t dress up all that often. On the day of the wedding, MIL goes up to my mom explaining how she had a red outfit that would have been perfect but she was told that she wasn’t allowed to wear red and, by the way, she would never wear black to HER daughter’s wedding.
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moojoose Reply:
February 23rd, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Oh wait! I forgot one!
4. We were married on New Year’s Day. MIL wanted to know if she could open Christmas presents with the kids that morning right before the wedding, or after, during the reception. Husband told her that during the wedding was just a bad time. Maybe they could send them like my parents were doing so the kids could enjoy them for the week they were with us. She made a big stink about it, was in tears on the phone, just couldn’t understand why we couldn’t make time to do presents at the wedding (we had to bring the kids back to their mom the next day). Then, when the presents arrived, she gave my step-son a shoe box full of used legos that belonged to her sons, and my step-daughter A TUBE OF CHAPSTICK. The other grandkids got multiple giant gifts, including a trip to Disney World for one.
There are no words.
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By Rachael on Feb 23, 2011
Oh my GOD. I am SO lucky. So lucky. I am so glad that I have a sane family.
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By Ruune on Feb 24, 2011
Okay mine.
There are 5 adult children in my family and my husband and I are the only ones who don’t have kids (by choice, not that it makes any difference). We have a constant beef that because we don’t have kids everyone thinks it is okay to schedule family things when we aren’t available for half of the time (obviously, it would be ideal if everyone were there, but if someone has to miss out on two hours of this event, at least it should be the family without grandchildren).
One Christmas my parents announced a departure from the normal family photo regime, saying that they wanted photos with the grandparents and each of the families with the grandchildren. Which was every family except ours. We didn’t appear in any of the official “family” photos that year.
My FIL used to drive me mad early in our marriage bugging us to have kids. Like he would whisper in my (then 3 y o) nephew’s ear “Ask Aunty when you will have some cousins”. I got so annoyed with the behaviour that when he next asked me direct I said “Look, I don’t really like to talk about it, but I can’t have children.” I let him off the hook about 3 weeks later but I sincerely hope that I have taught him a lesson never to pull that bullshit stunt with other people.
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By A on Jul 23, 2011
I have many delightful in-law stories, but here’s the best one!
My husband’s BIL is a builder – well, his dad is, so he fell into it. Anyway, my husband decided he wanted to build a house for us to live in (or maybe as an investment, but mostly for us to live in). So he and BIL went around looking at lots all over. We find a nice lot and purchase it. We put our house up for sale, get it under contract, and tell BIL to start building. He has us sign some paperwork, which I tell my husband is a deed, but my husband is too excited and doesn’t listen to me. And, his sister says “well, if he (her husband, BIL) needs it, just sign it. You know you can trust him.” Husband goes off to Army Reserve training, and not much gets done. We close on our old house, move into a duplex while our house is getting built, and not much more gets done. My husband starts calling BIL daily, and BIL is avoiding his calls. We fire BIL and tell him we’re not paying him for any of the work until we get an itemized bill and the name of the builder, so we can hire him independently. That deed we signed? BIL files it with the county, so he now owns our lot. Then he tells my husband’s parents that my husband refused to pay him, and by the way, he never thought we were serious about building a house. Really? Because selling our old house and moving from a 2000 square foot house to a 1000 square foot duplex is no indication of commitment to the project? So my husband’s parents believe this line of BS, and we don’t talk to them for approximately 4 months and things are tense ever since (6 years now). Also, lawyers get involved so we can get our property back. It all got settled, and we’re still in the house. Now this sister of my husband’s is the relative who lives closest to us and she’s always trying to get together so our daughter can play with her kids.
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By A on Jul 23, 2011
Also, because I believe in paying bad behavior back with even more bad behavior, I delivered the letter from the lawyer to the BIL at my husband’s other sister’s wedding. :)
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