Temerity Jane

I can dress myself!

I went through this phase in college, I think my junior or senior year. Not like my “I only eat chicken nuggets” phase, or the one where I didn’t wear shoes for three months (true story), but much different.

It was over the summer, I know, because I was working just about full time in a dorm, and I developed a new and interesting habit.

Absolutely every single time I went to the ladies’ room, I forgot to rezip my fly. Seriously, every time. I’d get back to my office and realize it was down, and quickly pull it back up while trying to recall if I had passed anyone in the hallway. Eventually enough paranoia developed that not only did I start to remember to put it back up (after a couple of months of pants-ventilation), but also developed a compulsive fly-checking habit that I still have to this day.

Couple of weeks ago, you may recall me mentioning, and doing a little dance about, having lost ten pounds, so I’ve been wearing belts a bit more often than usual, to avoid my supervisor’s threats to staple my pants to my hips, and I’ve noticed a whole new problem.

One, my belt isn’t wholely work appropriate, but my shirts are usually long enough to cover it and allow it to serve its purpose while hidden (looks much like this one), so I’m also tending to forget that it’s even there (because I can barely feel it, due to a vast over-estimation of my own weight that caused me to buy it one size too big, meaning that on the smallest hole it’s just clinging with a tenuous grasp to my hipbones).

So lately, in my paranoid constant fly-checking on my way back from the bathroom, I have continually found my belt to be undone. And it clatters when it’s undone. Add that to the fact that 3 or 4 co-workers saw me pattering through the parking lot shoeless yesterday, and I think I’m going to start to get some kind of [additional] reputation around here.