I am also convinced there is a pea under the mattress
September 1st, 2010 | by TJ |For the last couple of days, I have found everything – literally everything – to be absolutely and totally irritating. My eyes have rolled so much over the past 72 hours that I’m surprised they’re still tethered into my head.
Now, I admit that there are times when my irritation might be a bit irrational, like when I am bellowing at Phil, “STOP SAYING WORDS!,” but I am pretty convinced that while the level of annoyance I have felt over the past few days may be a bit amplified for reasons that have yet to reveal themselves, everything that I was irritated (and continue to be irritated) by has been absolutely, 100% irritation-worthy.
1. I randomly decided I wanted to play WoW again and won’t play on the laptop, so I’ve been playing on Phil’s computer, and that alone could spawn a forty item list of irritations, but I’ll leave it as this one, overarching irritation.
2. Sheldon keeps licking my shirt and leaving LICK SPOTS.
3. Flies keep landing on me. Instant scream rage.
4. People on Twitter who decided that for one day, they’re just going to tweet inspirational quotes or some shit. I don’t get this or the motivation behind it. It feels preachy to me. Don’t preach on Twitter. That’s irritating.
5. This message board I used to read, they like to use the word “wise” for anyone and everyone. Like “so and so is wise.” And not just about one post, but in general. Like “so and so is a wise person.” I don’t think they know what that word actually means.
6. Same message board launched a “post secret” style site, in which people could create “postcards” online and send in their secrets. Which lead to a “post secret” style site dedicated to call outs – where you could send in a “secret” that was actually anonymous insults to another poster. Apparently, someone sent something in that said that one poster’s husband, who has been battling cancer, was better off dead than with her. Note that I said “message board I used to read,” because hot christ.
7. Phil keeps trying to hug me when I am VERY CLEARLY giving off “do not approach” vibes.
8. VERY CLEARLY.
9. We have one diet soda left, which means I have to choose whether to just drink it now or ration it, which is irritating because I shouldn’t have to make such decisions and our poor soda planning skills need work.
10. Air conditioning.
11. I keep putting on weight like I don’t have a very specific dress waiting for me to fit into it in a month and a half.
12. Brinkley keeps licking my pants and leaving LICK MARKS.
13. I hate this stupid computer.
14. We have new eggs and old eggs in the fridge and I can never tell which is which.
15. No one has thrown out the old eggs.
16. I have an itch under the callous on my foot. UNDER it.
17. The shower head REFUSES to line up so that it hits me in the direct center of my back without me having to come in contact with the wall or the shower curtain. This is unacceptable.
18. Weddings are stupid.
19. When I rolled over in the night last night, Phil was laying in such a manner that we were face to face, as if he didn’t bother to anticipate the fact that I might roll over and then we’d be breathing on each other.
20. Sometimes it seems like some people only comment to give me a hard time.
21. This 800 number calls my cell phone EVERY SINGLE DAY and when I pick it up, there’s silence, and if I don’t pick it up, they leave a 2 second silent voice mail. EVERY DAY.
22. You know what else happened on Twitter a bunch of times recently? Someone will decided to make some kind of proclamation or lecture and it ends up being stretched across several Tweets. One, don’t preach on Twitter, because come on, you’re on Twitter. No one is taking you seriously. Two, if you need to say (cont.) or something like that – especially on a regular basis – you obviously do not fully grasp the concept of Twitter, and that is irritating.
23. People in their late teens or early 20s know absolutely everything there is to know and refuse to believe that they most certainly do not. Holy shit, is that irritating.
24. Sheldon fur.
25. I stopped biting my nails. So now what?
26. I was watching several episodes of a show on Hulu and accidentally closed the window with 5 minutes left to go in the season finale. I cannot be bothered to cue it back up.
27. A lot of people say “que” when they mean “cue,” and I think they mean to say “queue,” which means not only are they spelling it wrong, they’re using the completely wrong word. And you can’t say anything because then you’re that guy.
28. Also? “Weary” and “wary.” Two separate words.
29. Also? Using British spellings when you’re an American and claiming that they’re perfectly valid spellings? Not as cute as you think it is. I’m looking at you, Live Journal.
30. I hate this stupid keyboard.
31. My hair is too long.
32. My butt is too flat.
33. People keep leaving the “song” portion blank on the RSVPs.
34. Weddings are still stupid.
35. I hate having my picture taken, and I even MORE hate the people who think it’s fun or funny to sneak a picture or say, “Oh, just one,” and act like I’m a huge asshole when I again politely refuse. That’s not funny. Not at ALL. Especially the sneaking thing. So rude.
36. Also? ALSO? Super irritating? My name is Kelly. I prefer to be called Kelly, and I don’t care for Kel. Sometimes, when someone calls me Kel, I will VERY POLITELY say that I prefer Kelly. Said person either gets INCREDIBLY butt hurt and insulted, because OH MY GOD, why do I think it’s SUCH a big deal, or, from then on, they make a huge show of going, “Oh, hey, Kel —- LY!”
37. And people who know that a person doesn’t like to be crowded, but take great offense at someone stepping back for more room.
38. And grocery stores.
39. And parents who let their children flip around and harass the people in the next booth.
40. Phil lets his fingernails grow til they look like coke nails but won’t even let me paint one.
41. He also has long eyelashes, longer than any girl I know, and won’t let me put mascara on them, just to SEE.
42. I’m already pre-irritated at how many questions people are going to ask me leading up to the wedding.
43. I’m also pre-irritated at all of the people who will read this and feel an urge to comment about how negative I am, like they’ve never just been IRRITATED a goddamn day in their life, and trying to paint me as someone who complains constantly.
44. I want to repeat 43 right here because I’m still pre-irritated.
45. Do anyone’s glasses stay right on their nose? I am shoving them back up all day long. Could I be any more stereotypically nerd-like?
46. If you claim you’re never reading Dooce again, you really lose a lot of credence when you make the same proclamation again a couple of days later.
47. People who start helping to kill mobs that you have perfectly in hand drive me insane because I feel guilty or obligated to group.
48. I cannot get the little edge where the sink meets the counter clean. It looks grimy and awful and it’s making me insane.
49. Hair. Of all sorts and locations.
50. Phil likes to tuck the sheets when he makes the bed and then gets all upset when I untuck. NO ONE CAN SLEEP TUCKED.
So, what completely petty and fleeting things have crawled right under your skin lately?
I declare the comments section a complaint free for all, with no justifications needed and no judgment passed.
By Erica on Sep 1, 2010
#48!! This is the bane of my cleaning existence. Also, ceramic tile grout. Oy, do NOT get me started on the grout.
Anyhow, back to the sink edge thing… I used a toothbrush to scrub mine and bristles got stuck underneath the sink. So now I’ve got gunk AND bristles.
I have found that a cleaner called CLR will get the gunk off with a little elbow grease. But for the love of gawd, don’t use a toothbrush to scrub it.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:13 am
Oh my GOD, thank you, because a toothbrush was going to be my next attempt. You have saved me WHO KNOWS how much irritation.
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Mary Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 2:19 pm
You might try a toothpick, or better yet, a skewer, if you’ve got any (the bamboo kind). No guarantees the tip won’t break off and also get stuck though. *scuffle* *duck/flee* Pretty sure that’s what my Mom uses though. (a bamboo skewer) Good luck!
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Greg Reply:
September 6th, 2010 at 10:40 pm
Yup,
A bamboo skewer :) That’s what I use.
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By Jamie Harrington on Sep 1, 2010
HAHA sometimes I just leave my pet on aggressive in low level areas and let him just pwn the shit out of everything in site… I know it pisses everyone off, but it makes me feel better. :)
Also, are you pregnant–these sound like the rants of a pregnant woman. :)
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:13 am
Gah. No. Not pregnant.
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Delicia Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:43 am
Can I add “people that ask if you’re pregnant if you complain that you’re sick, tired, irritable, or hungry” ?
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ajbw Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 3:21 am
oh my, AMEN.
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By Erica on Sep 1, 2010
I have decreed that any future home that I occupy will have an under-mounted sink and no ceramic tile.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:14 am
What is this “under-mounted sink” miracle you speak of?
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Chris Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:19 am
The sink is mounted under the counter top leaving noe lip on top of the counter.
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Chibi Jeebs Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:54 am
Ooh, like this!
http://www.trendir.com/archives/julien-j7-collection-undermount-sink-3905.jpg
WANT.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:04 am
That is a goddamn marvel of modern mechanics.
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Chaninn Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:56 am
Google images have some awesome pics of undermount sinks. I WANT one (or two)!!!
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:04 am
I don’t think I am ever going to be happy with a normal sink ever again now.
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sKRAPS Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:00 am
They are super awesome. No lip, and you can wipe things right into the sink. My dream kitchen will have one of those single piece counters with the sink formed into it.
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By Diane on Sep 1, 2010
1. We’re sick. We’re ALL sick, except for the child who brought the illness home from school, which means she still needs to be taken to school, which means the sick people have to put on pants.
2. My nose is sore around the edges because someone bought Kleenex Ultra Soft thinking that was just as good as Puffs Plus with Lotion. It’s like he doesn’t watch daytime commercials of cherubic children with little pink noses to know the difference.
3. I’m pre-irritated that the new TV season is starting in a few weeks, and that means the spoiler police are going to be all up on Twitter again.
4. Seriously, why do these people need to eat? MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY, even. Don’t they realize I am SICK?
5. I can’t even finish all my whining because they want to eat more foods and I’m about to throw a box of Cheerios on the floor and call it DONE.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:17 am
Sometimes I get so mad at Phil when he expects to eat dinner. Sometimes I would rather just be hungry than deal with the whole food process, why can’t he just pick up on that and feel the same?
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Imalinata Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:39 am
Omg…I buy frozen food for a reason. If I don’t feel like cooking, there’s still something to eat. Don’t look at me pitifully like you’re starving because I didn’t feel like (or didn’t have time to) make dinner. You’re an adult, if you’re hungry, fix it yourself.
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Adlib Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:39 am
Yes, exactly. Yes x1000 on that. It’s like my husband won’t learn to cook anything but spaghetti and acts like nuking something in the microwave will kill him. I’m sorry, but we BOTH have full time jobs, mine involves a longer commute, and I’m just as tired as you are. Sometimes making dinner is not my desired activity when I get home.
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Natalie Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 12:28 pm
Yes, also x1000. My husband gets home at least a 1/2 hour, sometimes a full hour before I do, and the first question when I walk in is “what’s for dinner?” But he always has a snack anyway and hates my cooking. WTF??
He has 3 specialties: spaghetti, pancakes, and grilled cheese. We could eat those every night, who cares? Except he is averse to breakfast for dinner. Again, WTF???
Diane Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:50 am
I forgot the most important one! People shortening my name to “Di”. THAT IS AN UNPLEASANT WORD, thank you. I’m sorry my name doesn’t come with a fancypants nickname to save you the trouble of calling me by all five letters and two syllables, but do NOT call me DI.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:05 am
I don’t mind the INITIAL calling me “Kel,” but acting like I killed your puppy when I very kindly, in a no big deal kind of way, request my full name. Like “HOW DARE YOU POLITELY POINT OUT THAT I MIGHT HAVE DONE SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE KIND OF BUGGED YOU.”
And then I’M made to feel like an asshole for daring to have a preference.
About my own name.
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Gaby Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 1:34 pm
Gah! The daring to have a preference about my own name thing! I have, on more than one occasion, introduced myself as “Gaby.” Person then proceeded to ask if that stood for Gabrielle or Gabriella. I answered, “Gabrielle,” to which person replied, “Oh, I like Gabrielle SO much more than Gaby!” Um, ok, good for you, but I wasn’t taking a poll on what I should go by, thank you very much! Ugh. I am now angry at those people all over again.
Also, I LOVE your “pre-irritated” phrase. That is perfect, and I will be using it from now on. Thank you.
Adlib Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:39 am
Ha, this nutty lady at work calls herself “Di”. This just proves how crazy she really is.
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Laurie Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 6:47 pm
This is why I married a man who has low dinner expectations…we even have “fend nights” at our house…you are welcome to anything you can find (I had ice cream for dinner one night last week – num)!!!!
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By Melissa on Sep 1, 2010
19. I hate that! I hardly every lay on that side. Why does HE have to be laying (lying? lay/lie my grammar nemesis) that way right that minute?
35. I refuse to have my picture taken. Even when I think I look kinda cute, a picture of me looks like ass. I hate having that fight because everyone thinks I’m being a jerk, but I don’t want that crap ending up tagged on Facebook at some point.
48. We have tile countertops. When we looked at the house, it was all ‘ooh, look at the nice tile countertops.’ Now I know the truth. Tile countertops are Satan’s countertops. You can’t just wipe crumbs off the counter because they run into the edging, the grout gets nasty… Never ever again.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:18 am
Seeing a picture of myself makes me very unhappy, especially seeing a picture of myself on a day when I felt good about how I looked. The picture insisters are seriously some of the worst people in the world.
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Melissa Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:21 am
That’s exactly it. You think you look good and then you see a picture and think “Wait… that’s not how I looked. Is it?” Nobody gets that.
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kath Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:01 am
Oh, I get it. I recently found a horrifying — HORRIFYING — picture of myself and thought, “that’s not what I look like…is it? IS IT??” and then I stood in front of the mirror looking at myself from all angles thinking, “I don’t look like that… do I? DO I??”. I haven’t really recovered from the trauma. *This* is why I fly into a nearly homicidal rage when someone points a camera at me.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:06 am
Exactly. And you don’t want to go into the whole thing with people about how “Well, pictures of myself make me very unhappy,” because THEN they start the whole, “Oh, that’s silly, you look great” blah blah thing, which I appreciate, but come on.
Just respect the polite request!
Becky Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:01 am
I think I might tear up at how often I feel this way (a good sign that I am irritated about life in general). I don’t fight with the picture takers because I always hope that someone will take a good picture of me. It’s happened all of 6 times in my life I think, so I know it’s possible.
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Natalie Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:59 am
I’m going to be someone’s irritation and try to help you with lay/lie. You lay an object down (I’m going to lay my keys right here) but you, yourself lie down. So, I LIE (it rhymes, see?).
Sorry.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:07 am
That’s actually really helpful, because I have never been able to sort that rule out.
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M.Amanda Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:28 am
I have the present tense down, but I get 10 kinds of confused with other tenses. I think it’s because “lay” shows up again, but is in the other camp. I have to think about it so long that I really come off as dim if I try to get it right while I’m talking.
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Natalie Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Yeah, I see what you’re saying. Laid is the past tense of what you do to an object (heh, heh) and you can remember that because it ends in a -d sound, like other object related verbs (like: parked the car, baked the chicken). Lay is the past tense of what you, yourself do – it ends in y and You begins with Y? Does that help?
Sorry, that might be too many rules.
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By Chris on Sep 1, 2010
#22 must mean your unfollowed @thatkevinsmith .
I agree about the motivational blah blah on twitter. Just stop. Now. Please.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:19 am
I actually give Kevin Smith a pass, but I have columns in TweetDeck and he’s in one I don’t read too often.
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Chris Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:23 am
I replied to him once and said dude my twitter is broke cause all I see is your tweets.
I too give him a pass. But on the phone its annoying sometimes.
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By Imalinata on Sep 1, 2010
Oh god #19 is so true! I feel like I’m suffocating if I’m trying to go to sleep and my husband is facing the middle of the bed too. DON’T BREATHE MY AIR. It’s mine and your carbon dioxide is diluting my oxygen. People don’t really sleep facing each other; they just passed out because there wasn’t enough oxygen in that spot to keep both of them conscious.
As for my irritations, [you] doing the dishes by hand is not equal to me doing all the cooking, cleaning out the litterbox, cleaning the bathroom, and doing 90% of the laundry. I don’t care how long it takes to do the dishes; one chore is not so massive that it takes four other chores to balance out the work.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:07 am
Oh my god, that dishes thing, who THINKS that?
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Imalinata Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:23 am
My husband currently. >< It's a difference of opinion that will be resolved once I have stopped being so "OMG ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?!?!" about the issue.
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Chaninn Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Or, even more irritating in my opinion, is when husband wants to do the dishes AFTER I’ve started cooking. We have a tiny galley kitchen and once he starts, he won’t stop till they are done regardless of whether I’m trying to cook something yummy for him. AARGH!
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By Bennet on Sep 1, 2010
Oooh I want to beat people who shorten my name with sticks. It’s not like it’s sixteen syllables. A couple of friends got frustrated and started calling me “Bob.” I actually liked that better.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:09 am
I get that the name shortening thing is kind of a familiarity thing, but if someone SAYS they prefer one over the other, why do people have to get so offended?
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By lenniejane on Sep 1, 2010
My dogs decided not to pay for their own vaccines today, meaning I had to shell out $230 bucks so they could not have worms or some shit like that.
Also, they seem to have no problem jumping out of the car when I’m trying to get the other one in, but when I actually WANT them to get out of the car, they act like the floor is made of flesh eating acid and curl up into a ball on the other side of the car.
Robert for some reason can’t call me to tell me he won’t be home for lunch meaning I’m putting off a very exciting trip to Ross, which I probably shouldn’t be doing anyway due to the $230 annoyance from above.
The vet didn’t get my Bieber fever joke and that is comedy gold right there.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:09 am
I wrote the other day about dudes and plans or lack thereof. And dogs, well, that could be a whole other 17 entries.
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By Vorn on Sep 1, 2010
I think all your irritations are perfectly cromulent.
The one that sticks out at me is the WOW reference to killing Mob’s , that annoys me no end, but what really pisses me off is when an opposing faction high level comes into a lower level area and destroys the mobs there and doesn’t even loot them and then the lower level has to wait for the dam things to respawn to finish their quest!
And the bastard most likely didn’t loot em anyway so you cant even skin em !
./rant off
Anyways ./pats
Cheers
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:10 am
I always get annoyed when a high level comes in and plows everything down while I’m trying to quest, and I have to remind myself that they’re JUST AS ENTITLED to the mobs as I am, but a part of me thinks that I’m only going to have to kill a certain number, couldn’t they wait just a MINUTE?
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By Delicia on Sep 1, 2010
1. My guild on WoW decided to suddenly recruit a couple of apps (without giving them a test run)that are “a couple”.. in her app she used the words “Baby Daddy” to refer to boyfriend(?)who is the other app. ICK. Then, in gchat, she uses the term LIKE IT’S HIS NAME. “Yeah, Baby Daddy was telling me about that.” SERIOUSLY? IRRITATING.
2. My kids haven’t started school yet, so they are home all day while we are at work. They have assigned chores and even though I tell them repeatedly they need to have them done BEFORE I get home, *every* day I get home and they’ve ~just~ started them. GRRR
3. It hasn’t rained in weeks, so I finally drag out the sprinklers, and douse myself in the process of trying to get them to ONLY water our lawn and not the neighbors.. and the next morning it’s pouring rain.
4. I have a coworker that sits next to me that not only I think is a Lung-er (she coughs ALL the time, so loudly I can’t hear my callers and I think she’s dying), but on her breaks she watches stuff online *with sound* as I’m trying to process calls. SO irritating.
5. Still no word from the bank on our house purchase. 4 months and counting. Banks suck.
6. If I have to read one more Give Away msg on Twitter I think I’ll scream. Ok, free stuff is cool but I don’t want to jump through your hoops people, stop clogging my twitter stream!
7. How dare my kids have to eat?? I don’t want to stop what I’m doing and fix dinner if I’m not hungry yet or I’m taking a nap. Geez.
8. My cat is apparently bulimic because sometimes after I feed her she waits a few minutes then barfs it all out. But always on the carpet, or my husband’s computer chair, or her cat tree. NEVER on the hardwood or linoleum where it would be easy to clean up.
9. Apparently my cat’s barf is also invisible to everyone but me since I’m the ONLY one that ever finds it and has to clean it up.
10. People that randomly buff me in WoW when I’m AFK, and then I come back and see it and feel guilty because I didn’t buff them in return, like I broke the Buffing Golden Rule or something and they probably think I’m an asshole.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:11 am
OH THE BUFF THING.
I ALWAYS feel like a d-bag when I notice I’ve been buffed and the buffer is nowhere in sight.
Or when I’m playing my warlock and all I have to offer is underwater breathing.
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Katie Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 10:55 am
underwater breathing is good luck!!!
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Kero Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:13 am
I totally agree with #10. I HATE that. Oh, and when locks buff with me with UB while I’m in say… AV.
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Imalinata Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:37 am
#8…At least yours doesn’t barf in the path you travel in the morning when you’re bleary eyed and trying to start your morning. Being startled awake by the feeling of partially digested cat food oozing between your toes is one of the worst experiences ever. If you haven’t yet, try to loosen the cat’s collar; ours used to barf all the time (seriously she now gets fed 5 times a day by an automated cat food dish; if I could feed her a tablespoon at a time I’d do that instead but they don’t make automatic cat feeders with like 10-15 compartments) and since the vet loosened her collar after they stole her blood for geriatric kitty blood tests she’s puked a lot less than she used to.
9…I used to be the only one who could see it and was always cleaning it up. Then for about the next four times I didn’t see it either. He caved and cleaned it up. Now he has the magical powers to see cat puke too.
Cat related irritations – Why is she always OUR cat when she’s being cute and loveable, but she’s only MY cat when she’s meowing in his face in the morning, scratching the couch (accidentally! she’s really uncoordinated), or puking on the floor?
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Adlib Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:46 am
#8…Why do cats ALWAYS do it on the carpet?? One of ours barfs or hacks up hairballs all the time. The other one hasn’t done it once. I don’t get it.
Also, regarding #1, I used to work with a lady who called her daughter “Baby Girl”. I think I had a reaction similar to yours when I first met her, then I got used to it. It was weird.
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Imalinata Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:53 am
Baby Daddy? *shudder* I don’t know which I think is worse, that or “wifey”. I want to scream at people who use wifey and mean it. C’mon people, you’re supposedly adults referring to other adults. Stop with the baby talk! You don’t have to end every noun with a -y.
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By Lara on Sep 1, 2010
We have a king sized bed and yet my boyfriend insists on sleeping all up in my space. It’s not that I don’t like to cuddle (well, ok, it kind of is), but when he gets too close I have to deal with his nose breeze down my naked neck. NOSE BREEZE. GROSS.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:14 am
NOSE BREEZE!
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By Flaime on Sep 1, 2010
Who is Dooce? Am I supposed to be reading this person?
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:14 am
I don’t think there’s a list of “supposed” to be reading.
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Flaime Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:20 am
You might just be about the only one:D. I can’t tell you the number of times someone has told me “You absolutely must be reading X”.
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By angi on Sep 1, 2010
Except the tucked/untucked thing…I think we’d get along very well. And I’ve learned to live untucked, I just have to make the bed each morning or the covers are all wonky the next night.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:15 am
On the covers front, you sound like you would get along with Phil.
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By Mel on Sep 1, 2010
1. My son’s preferred method of communication at the moment. Screaming does not qualify as acceptable and OH. MY. GOD. I will never say ‘I miss this’. And, AND if I say use your inside voice one more time I may die.
2. Seeing people eats sunflower seeds. They sell them with out the shell for a reason!
3. The way my coworker tells me I will be old and bitter some day too. No, just because you are pissed off every single day because you hate your life does not mean I will.
4. My mother-in-law.
5. That I have to say ‘the dishes are dirty’ or ‘the lawn needs to be mowed’ or any other number of chores that are clearly obvious – but no one else sees.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:15 am
WHY do they even sell them in a shell, WHY?
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lak Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 11:56 am
Wait, what? Why would people eat sunflower seeds if they didn’t have the shell?! That’s like 90% of the fun!
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Julie Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:05 pm
Eat. Spit. Be Happy. It says so right on the pack!
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By sKRAPS on Sep 1, 2010
19 – My wife wakes me up at least once a week and tells me to roll over because she moved, and now I’m breathing on her. There are no words for the anger this causes me. *disclaimer* I have had chronic insomnia since I was a pre-teen, If I sleep for an hour and am woken up, It will be hours before I get back to sleep.
29 – Colour, Theatre – Makes me all stabby!
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:16 am
I don’t wake Phil up when he’s facing the wrong way. I just prefer to silently seethe. Unless he’s snoring.
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By Katy on Sep 1, 2010
- When I flush a toilet and it decides not to fully flush. Not that it was too full or clogged; it just fills with water and gets bored and doesn’t drain. Then I have to wait for the tank to refill so I can get the toilet to do the job it was supposed to do the first time around. Lazy toilets.
- People trimming their nails in the office. Eew. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t like the fear of being hit by your flying nail shard.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:17 am
I’ve never understood the public nail trimming phenomenon. I mean, I’ve always been a nail biter (until now), but still. It’s not like they sneak up on you in the middle of the day.
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Kailen Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 8:24 pm
I *sometimes* trim a nail if it’s gotten raggedy… But I always make sure it hits the trash can, and it’s only like two clippings anyway. Not so bad. :(
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By Julie on Sep 1, 2010
Let’s see…
1. I am irritated that I live underneath a herd of buffalo, because they stomp around all the time. Like even 2am. Put your kids to bed lady!!!
2. My visit from mother nature came a week EARLY. EARLY!! Late, I am cool with, skipping a visit, no problem, but early?! the nerve.
3. I get called off from work every. single. week. But if I didn’t want to work and take a day off every week, they would tell me no, so why should they get to cancel me once a week? Not a symbiotic relationship, Mr Employer, I mean, parasite!
4. My husband is the nicest guy in the world. Sounds great, right? Not when you are feeling irritable, it is damned annoying that he is so nice when you are feeling like a bitch.
5. If I tell said husband about the above, he will apologize, and say he understands, which will make me feel BAD and then, well, it is just a vicious cycle.
6. My neighbor parks in a spot right next to me under this covered pavilion thing which we pay to park under, since, well, hello Texas sun. Anyway, he has a truck as big as, well, Texas, and then has the nerve to knock on my door at noon when I worked the night before to ask me in very broken English, if I can move my vehicle (which is perfectly in my lines) over some to accommodate his big ass oversized truck.
I could do this all day, really, but I think I will stop there. It was fun to vent though!
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:17 am
I hope you tell that truck guy where he can go.
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By Chibi Jeebs on Sep 1, 2010
6. O_O Just O_O.
7. Haaaaate.
8. Not funny, either, boys.
14. I read a tip that suggested alternating between brown & white eggs, so you “always” (in theory) know which ones are the old ones. We tried it once. Brown eggs weird me out. Chebbar grabs them to specifically weird me out (and TELLS me that this is why he does it).
29. I can get away with British spelling because I’m Canadian and that’s how I was taught, right?
32. If I could share some of my ass, it would be my wedding gift to you.
35. Those people? Deserve forks in the eyeball.
41. I can NOT believe I never thought to mascara the hell out of Chebbar! NEW GOAL!
(And to chime in on Mel’s sunflower seed irritant, my head pops off my neck when the asshole in front of me on the highway throws his god damned seeds out his window. THANKS FOR PELTING MY CAR WITH YOUR SLOBBER-COVERED GARBAGE, DOUCHE CANOE!)
45. No. And if you’re a weirdo like me, you can’t wear plastic frames because your damned head throws off so much heat, it somehow magically makes the frames EXPAND and slip a lot more. Or so I’ve been told.
50. Chebbar laughs when I tell him my legs feel claustrophobic. Maybe it’s a male/female thing?
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:18 am
Re: doing things specifically to weird out/bug someone else – not cool. Phil sometimes says and does things specifically because he knows it will irritate me, and I DON’T GET that motivation. Grow up!
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By kath on Sep 1, 2010
I actually put up a couple of classic passive-aggressive signs here at home recently because I’ve been losing my mind with irritation:
1. Put the trash in the trash and not in the sink!
2. Do not leave food in the sink! Throw it away or use the disposal!
Because, maaaaaaan. I get to both cook and clean up afterwards (another mind-bending irritation) and NOTHING is more irritating than facing a sink full of dishes PLUS trash PLUS soggy food. And still. STILL. My husband puts food in the sink.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:19 am
Oh that is SO GROSS. Phil mostly does the dishes because I don’t deal with wet and soggy food. If I’m about to do them myself, sometimes I need to ask him to handle wet/soggy food removal duties for me first. I’m glad he doesn’t leave food in the sink, I’d go insane.
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Rayne of Terror Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 8:01 pm
I hear you. I so so hear you.
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By Jessi on Sep 1, 2010
Bob and I had a 2 hour fight last night about rinsing the damn dishes before you put them in the dishwasher. Yes, I get it, pain, sucks, shouldn’t have to, whatever! But we kinda need them to be clean when they come out or we have to wash them again. So, you can think it’s a pain now, or in two hours. Just shut up and do it! AGG.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:20 am
People not doing things because they “shouldn’t have to” makes me insane. I’m sorry the world works a certain way instead of the way you THINK it should work but GET WITH THE PROGRAM and get over it!
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By Becky on Sep 1, 2010
3, 7, 15, 19, 27-29, 48 & 49: UGH.
17. Our shower head is one of those movable ones on a tube, and it is hooked to the wall on the side because the “front” of the shower is actually a window because our apartment is stupid. The position of the shower head means that a) unless I stand all the way at the back of the tub the water goes over my head, b) when I do stand at the back of the tub it hits me in the face, and c) if *someone* doesn’t pull the shower liner tight against the wall and seal it with a quick spray of water, it will leak water all over the towel and floor outside the shower. We have been living here for 2 years! Figure it out!! I hate our shower.
My baby pukes on me all the time. He is cute, and I love him, but seriously, can we stop with the spitting up constantly? It stinks, and it means I can’t rewear clothes like I would like to, which means waiting for them to be washed.
Ryan seems to only take his clothes when he is doing laundry. He will have piles of clean clothes, and I will have nothing! He says this is not on purpose, but I don’t see how it’s possible to not notice that you aren’t washing any of your wife’s clothing. Especially after she has mentioned it to you before. And don’t tell me to wash my own clothes. We have a deal; he washes the clothes, I fold them. That is the deal!
Do not wait until it is 11 or 12 at night to try to “start snuggling.” I know what you want, and you are not getting it that late at night. I want to go to sleep.
Ahh…that does feel better. Thank you!
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:22 am
Phil and I are locked in what I am sure will turn out to be life long shower-related battles, so I feel your pain there.
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Carmen Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Our only solution to that was to finally get a place with two showers. Now he never steps foot in mine nor do I ever go near his. Harmony has been restored, at least in relation to showering.
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By thepsychobabble on Sep 1, 2010
I’d offer a hug, but won’t because, well, yeah. lol
I’m sorry, and I totally understand that “Every single one of you things/people/events is OBNOXIOUS,” feeling
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:23 am
Normally I am able to just shrug everything off like NORMAL people but lately OH MY GOD everything sends me flying off the handle, at least in my head.
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DDStL Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 11:04 am
It’s not like you have some life changing, huge event coming up in the next 60 days or anything, right? I think you have every right to your irritations…that’s a lot of stress you’re dealing with.
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By angelofrawr on Sep 1, 2010
45. If your glasses are sliding, take them in to a good glasses store, and ask them to change the nosepads. There’s a surprising amount of tweaking they can do to make a pair fit better.
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TJ Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:24 am
I wear $8 plastic frames from ZenniOptical with no nosepads, so I supposed you get what you pay for, but this has been my WHOLE LIFE. I must have a slanty face or something, seriously.
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By Megan on Sep 1, 2010
#14—put the eggs in water. If they sink, they’re fresh. If they float, not so fresh…and it might be time to let them go.
#50–I can’t sleep UN-tucked. My fiance untucks HIS SIDE ONLY. To untuck my side is to incur the WRATH. Reason being, is that he will stick his toes down in the corner of MY side of the bed, then do a little “tuck and roll” kind of thing, and I end up with NO blankets. So, I tuck. It’s self-defense, really.
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By -R- on Sep 1, 2010
I have read #47 multiple times, but I still don’t understand it. So that is annoying me today.
Also, I hate when my husband sleeps while facing me and his breath gets on me. That is the WORST.
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Delicia Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 10:52 am
#47 is talking about when playing World of Warcraft. I’m irritated to have to say that. Ok not really but that made me laugh so it’s all good.
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By Kero on Sep 1, 2010
People who think they are incapable of being wrong. It couldn’t POSSIBLY be that they are mistaken, it MUST be you. EVERY TIME. Primal scream therapy looks more and more attractive everyday.
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By Carrie on Sep 1, 2010
If I wasn’t salaried, I’d be at home right now. The person who they hired to do my old job left like an hour ago. Damn promotion.
I’m sick of pretending to work just because I know I have to be here but I have nothing that actually needs to be done.
One of my coworkers was bitching about how a ten-minute conversation with our boss put him behind. He works fewer hours than anyone else in the department. Oh, I’m sorry, you have to go home at 3:30 instead of 3 today? That must SUCK SO HARD FOR YOU.
Don’t give a job opportunity to a recruiter and then refuse to look at the candidates that the recruiter finds for you. I don’t care if it will cost you money, it also cost you a potential new employee that quite possibly would have been a wonderful fit.
Family.
Accidentally getting one hand off the home keys and typing Fa,o;u, then having to go back and fix it.
That asshole in my guild who always has to be right, and make sure everyone else knows it.
And last but not least, my fecking knee that just started hurting for no apparent reason. I swear, if I go to the doctor and she tells me I’ve got a form of tendonitis in my knee, I will scream. I am so SICK of getting fecking tendonitis!
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By Kelly on Sep 1, 2010
29. Oh, how I hate when Mr. Aerten’s breath touches me while I’m sleeping.
33. I would dance if you played The Twist. Promise. And The Chicken Dance.
36. YES! I might allow super-special-very-loved-by-me people to call me “Kel” (MAYBE), but everyone else should call me “Kelly.” Arrrggghhh!!!
45. That would be EXACTLY why I had lasik surgery. Glasses, and the stupid way they don’t stay where they should.
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By Imalinata on Sep 1, 2010
Ooh I have another one! Fluffing the covers when he comes to bed and I’m already asleep. Just because I’m asleep doesn’t mean that the wash of freezing cold air (I’ll be honest, that could mean actually freezing or it could mean it’s 65 degrees) over me won’t wake me up. I came to bed earlier, leave my cocoon of warm air alone thanks.
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Megan Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 12:48 pm
Oooh, good one. I have to second that sentiment.
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By DDStL on Sep 1, 2010
#19 – this used to drive me insane, especially since he was a wicked snorer. I’ll admit to fleeting thoughts of choking him out so i could sleep. That ended up getting him diagnosed with sleep apnea and his CPAP with mask that covers his nose and mouth entered our lives (I actually think I heard angels rejoicing the day he got it). I <3 the CPAP. No breathing his exhaust + low level white noise = pure win! But we still deal with space issues. He wants to have something touching me (knee, elbow, toenail) and I want at least 3" of buffer at all times.
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By Johanne on Sep 1, 2010
I love this. It makes me feel less like a bitchy, unreasonable human being for having those days myself. But seriously, sometimes life (well really, life with other people) is just so annoying!
Today, it annoys that shit out of me that I have to pay the dentist to cause me pain and discomfort. And pay him A LOT too.
The other thing really bugging me today is people who post those “My son is so great, if you have a great son, post this on your wall” updates on facebook. STOP IT!!
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Ashley Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 12:33 pm
OMG, the Facebook thing! “It’s super husband week! If you have a super duper husband who rocks your world, repost!” I haaaate those.
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Megan Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 12:50 pm
I know, right? If your husband sucked, you wouldn’t have married him then, would you? I also hate those “I love my husband” bumper stickers-so glad you didn’t marry him just for his money! geesh.
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By M.Amanda on Sep 1, 2010
There are perfectly fun articles on the internet where readers are encouraged to share stuff like “what grosses you out?” Inevitably, some j-hole feels the need to talk about how there is something wrong with people for being grossed out because – OMG! – people are starving! Don’t you have any compassion? Are you so selfish that you can complain about hating mushrooms when there are people who are dying? Or the ones who comment only to point out a typo and make it sound like the entire article must be written by some mentally retarded child; therefore, everyone who is enjoying the discussion is a complete loser. Really? STFU already. I’m sure there are plenty of miserable people out there to keep you company, so go find them instead of trying to bring everyone else down.
My husband does not pick up on when I need to be cheered up versus when I just need for people either to leave me alone or fix what is bugging me. Joking with me when I’m feeling smothered is only acceptable if you are joking as you walk out the door, leaving me completely alone in peace and quiet.
When something bugs you for a long time, but you let it go until – holy f-ing cheese – you must say something and it’s blown off because you are normally so easy-going that you must be pms-ing. Then it turns out you really are pms-ing, so it seems to validate their reaction, except that thing still bugs you and now they think it doesn’t bug you even if you mention it again because the one time you brought it up, you were hormonal, so of course that must be why you’re upset now.
Run-on sentences feel so right sometimes, but English class has brainwashed you into feeling guilty for writing them.
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Johanne Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 11:04 am
The run-on sentence is sometimes the only appropriate way to rant.
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By Adlib on Sep 1, 2010
I love when you do these posts.
Okay, on the name thing, I have several coworkers who don’t want their name abbreviated so I don’t do it. It’s a habit for me, but if I know they don’t like it, I don’t do it. No big deal. HOWEVER, could someone tell me how to get idiots to not abbreviate my name while allowing my friends to still do it? My old boss calls me “Lib” (first name is Libby), but I don’t mind if my friends do it. It’s kind of hypocritical of me probably, but ugh. I want to scream “we are not friends!” at this guy.
I get up early and leave the house before my husband even wakes up. When I get up and walk around the bed to the bathroom, he immediately rolls over toward my side of the bed and even though I’m not there, I hate it. It’s like he’s taunting me with the fact that he gets to lie in the wonderful bed while I get up and go to work like a schmuck. He recently told me he’s only doing it because he wakes up when my alarm goes off, and he’s just changing positions. It really doesn’t matter to me; just stop doing it.
Also, husband gets home before I do usually. I know he gets stressed and works hard at work, but it’s hard to feel bad when he leaves after I do and gets home before I do.
#29…Exactly. (with an exclusion for Canadians)
Oh, the idiot woman I now have to share my job with. We’re actually not busy enough to have 2 of “me”, but the bosses are so afraid of firing people (not kidding) that you either stay and get some BS job to do or move to Sales. This lady was hired as a receptionist. I’m not trying to offend receptionists or anything, but that’s the job she can do. She is not handling learning my job well. I enjoyed watching her get all frustrated yesterday (I’m a bad person). By the way, this is the same person who backed into my friend’s truck in the parking lot and went home without telling him. He didn’t find out until the next day when the entire office was talking about it. (I’m still not sure she planned on telling him if it hadn’t been all over the office.)
Switching the radio channel to hear the end of a song I really love.
Idiot drivers.
Being almost sung to in the morning by a my new boss who is WAY TOO HAPPY that early. Leave me alone for a few when I first arrive, okay?
I’m sure there’s more, but I’m sure someone else will post some for me. :)
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By Mandapanda78 on Sep 1, 2010
I can relate to your #36. I don’t like being called Mandy. I’ll be polite the first time, but after that I’ll start calling you by the wrong name, too. Also, people get incredibly butt-hurt and pouty when I say I don’t like being touched. I said “Please don’t touch me” not “OMG you molested meeee!”
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By Melme on Sep 1, 2010
On names: My name is Stephanie. With friends and family, I have no problem with them shortening my name. Like you mentioned in a comment, it’s a familiarity thing… But, that being said: I HATE IT when people I don’t know call me Steph or WORSE Stephie. ANGST!
There have been a few times that I’ve been dealing with paperwork or paying for something or something like that and some JERK, always male, thinking they’re being flirty or cute or SOMETHING, calls me Steph or Stephie and it PISSES me the hell off! I don’t know you, don’t PRESUME to get all familiar with me… Wow, that makes me sound like and elitist snob doesn’t it? Oh well.
Also, coworkers that do stupid, inconsiderate things that you know they shouldn’t technically be doing and that make your job harder but not being able to do anything about it because they’re buddies with the boss.
And let’s see… Having to ask my husband to help with the cleaning. I’m not his mom. I shouldn’t have to assign him chores. CLEARLY the dishes need to be washed and CLEARLY the trash is full and needs the be taken out and CLEARLY the bathroom could use a good cleaning… And yes, I’m happy when he helps out, but I hate feeling like a nag for asking, and reminding multiple times, for him to do something that so obviously needs to be done.
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Chaninn Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 12:22 pm
Totally agree with the last one. My hubs & I have an arraingement; I wash the clothes if he brings them downstairs for me to be washed. Soooo irritating that I have to remind him every week to bring down the clothes. EVERY WEEK!
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Melme Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 1:19 pm
I seriously think that my husband’s mom trained him not to do something until she’d told him 20 million times! I blame my mother-in-law! ;)
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By Natalie on Sep 1, 2010
1. the fact that my teeth don’t fit together properly in 2 spots, and food gets stuck in there and I have to floss after almost every meal. Except I only have to floss those two spots, which results in a waste of floss.
2. when my husband hangs up his towel with the very-wet edge hanging on top of mine. I take it that he thinks his towel is more IMPORTANT than mine, but since he has more body and more body hair, his towel gets a lot wetter and results in my towel remaining damp. and come on, damp. Gross.
3. totally on board with the name shortening. Not down with “Nat” at all. Nobody calls me that.
4. when this dude I thought was my friend, totally didn’t realize when we had the exact same conversation two weeks apart and I had to realize that he didn’t care about me at all, he was just a genial guy.
5. when same guy/co-worker decided to quit and go work for the competitor to whom we just lost our client.
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By Ashley on Sep 1, 2010
1. When I’m in the car with my husband and he changes the radio station mid-song with no warning. I mean, I might like that song. I always throw out a quick, “Do you like this song?” as I reach for the button (and pull my hand back if he says yes). It’s not that hard!
2. Feeling like a nag when I ask him repeatedly to do some chore, even though he’s the ass for not just doing it already.
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By Carmen on Sep 1, 2010
See, I’m the opposite regarding #50. I WANT the sheets tucked and cannot understand how Leonard can sleep with his feet poking out from under the blankets. I’m irritating by his untucking.
I’m also irritated when someone doesn’t clean up a spill and I end up stepping in a puddle on the floor with socks on. Wet socks suck.
I am supremely irritated every single time my in-laws visit as they they leave dishwater in the sink for hours on end. There is nothing worse than having to plunge your hand into COLD, SLIMY, GREASY dishwater to pull the plug. Irritated.
I get irritated by the fact that Leo cannot, ever, close a kitchen cupboard door. How hard it it? Open door with left hand and do not let go of door, grab desired item with right hand, close door. It’s not rocket science. Nothing looks more untidy than a kitchen with all the doors open.
I also go insane over the fact that he is incapable of noticing if he drops or dribbles something onto the kitchen floor. Completely oblivious.
Whew. It does help to get it all out. But I’m still feeling irritable.
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By Mary on Sep 1, 2010
Re: “33. People keep leaving the “song” portion blank on the RSVPs.” — Can we pick songs, then, pleeeeeease? :D I vote for Viva La Vida by Coldplay.
There’s prolly tons of stuff that irritates me, but I can’t think of anything in particular at the moment, except: When some idiot drivers pull around me at a stop sign. It has only happened a couple of times, but c’mon! They had to stop too! For the same reason I hadn’t gone yet, because, there was, hello, traffic! (Not a bit bitter, am I? Heh *ahem*) (they were not all-way stops, obviously)
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By Bellwether on Sep 1, 2010
Pfft. Don’t you see? Us 20-somethings do know everything.
…
Actually I really wish that was true because pretending I’m a responsible adult when I have no clue what I’m doing is making me lose sleep.
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By Swistle on Sep 1, 2010
Schools send home FORMS that I’ve ALREADY FILLED OUT, even RECENTLY, and if I COMPLAIN, they STAND FIRM AND MAKE ME FILL THEM OUT.
I don’t like posts that are obviously meant to be Beautifully Written.
It is TOO HOT until it is TOO COLD.
I’m sick of wiping the STUPID COUNTERS.
Why does this CAT smell like CAT FOOD?? GROSS!
When we finally die, they are going to have to BULLDOZE us out of all this CLUTTER.
Alcohol tastes so gross. Like cleaning supplies.
I hate clip-art on school forms. HATE.
Speaking of school forms, I hate being begged to attend poorly-attended PTA meetings. You know why they’re poorly-attended? They’re BORING and they’re mostly BUSY WORK.
Why can’t I find a pen that writes right? WHY??
These children need to occasionally STOP TALKING.
Nail polish never stays on as long as it ought to.
My pillow is not plump enough.
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Mary Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 8:20 am
Speaking of cat food.. what is it with that? Why does it smell so nasty anyway??? (not *entirely* sure I want to know why, but still..)
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By Jasmine on Sep 1, 2010
14 – Saw someone mentioned about the float test. But make sure the container you are testing in is bigger than the egg, or it’s really hard to tell I’ve found >.>
45 – Happens to me too. When I get a new set of frames at my optometrist and they try to figure out where the lens should fit, I always have to argue with them when they want me to put my glasses higher on my face. They are just going to slide down and remain where they always do! I tried to go back to frames with the little nose pads but then I didn’t like how high they sat on my nose.
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By Torqued on Sep 1, 2010
Oh, I can agree/sympathize with many of those. Just not the ones directly pertaining to sleeping with Phil. :D
My own little mini-list:
#1: Learn the proper use of They’re/Their/There, It’s/Its, and the every-messed-up Your/You’re. Misusing such simple words makes you look like an idiot, and makes others around dumber by association.
#2: It’s 98° outside, my ACs keep blowing the circuit breakers, and all 3 of my cats want to sit on me.
#3: Playing WoW during the summer. GO BACK TO SCHOOL YOU LITTLE SHITS!
#4: When you’re trying to do something (even if it’s for shits-’n-giggles) and someone has to come along and “help”. Yeah, thanks for “helping” me kill that big ass mob that I was *clearly* kiting across the zone. Thanks for caring. Ass.
#5: My sister-in-law. She is literally why my wife is now on anti-depression meds, and yet she still hasn’t been hit by the karma bus.
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Flame Reply:
September 3rd, 2010 at 2:51 pm
#3 – we have been waiting oh so impatiently for Labor Day to come & go for this very reason. If I have to hear one more annoying brat in Vent I will scream (I should track how many of them I’ve muted so far).
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By Confused on Sep 1, 2010
In response to number 50 i do declare that I can in fact sleep tucked in. In fact I must tuck myself in to the point where when I pull the sheets back to get into bed I’ll tuck the bit I pulled back in again. Why? I hear you ask because its more secure. Stopes ones self from flailing around in the night and waking up upside down with ones legs trapped in their tucked in sheets. Is like boxers and briefs can’t have them flopping around all over the place its just wrong.
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By Rhonda on Sep 1, 2010
Ok the things I really hate right now are:
1 When I’m singing along with the radio and the person with me starts singing too.
2 My husband seems to be incapable of seeing that the dog needs to go out even though he’s (husband)sitting right next to the door.
3 My in-laws absolutely have to have the same conversation with me about how I don’t like onion and they love it everytime we eat with them. Sure it’s still f-ing hilarious the millionth time.
4 We don’t like watching commercials so we flick through channels, but husband does it wrong. He flicks and finds something mildly interesting to me and then decides to flick some more and stays on a channel with commercials. Um what?
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Flame Reply:
September 3rd, 2010 at 2:50 pm
2. That drives me nuts too!
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By Kailen on Sep 1, 2010
This is kind of specific to people who work in pharmacy, however, it should be pretty understandable for those who don’t:
When someone calls in a refill WEEKS early, come in,are shocked that their insurance didn’t pay for it, and go, “Well, the doctor told me to ___” (usually upping the dosage)
Okay…Great, but we have no way of knowing that. YOU need to call YOUR doctor and have them send over a new prescription.
People, be nice to your pharmacists and techs… They want to help you. They will do all they can, sometimes more than they should. Please, just be polite and patient. (Okay enough of the PSA…)
I love my pet rats. I know they are weird pets.. But the people who tell me that my little girls who give me kisses are disgusting? Please. They’re my pets, and I love them, your dog is probably grosser than them. (they’re litter box trained!)
Also the feeling that even though you say “complainers come complain” I feel like I shouldn’t be. Like I need to apologize. Well, it’s been a long-ass day and I’m cranky.
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By Nina Lavine on Sep 1, 2010
Kelly, So sorry you stopped at #50…Really enjoyed all 50 and agree with all 50!!
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By Shin Ae on Sep 1, 2010
Number 19 has been driving me nuts these ten-plus years. Completely ridiculous. The man is SLEEPING, after all. Poor guy.
Number 45: This is the second pair of slide-y glasses I’ve had in a row. I’ve worn glasses for a very long time & just started to have this problem.
Number 36: A telemarketer called my house and called me Shin. I told him my name is Shin Ae. He said, “Can I call you Shin?” I said, “No.” He called me Shin anyway. I told him again that was not my name. He laughed and laughed and laughed.
Number 21: Spanish-speaking telemarketers call my house all the time. I told them to stop calling me and they claimed they couldn’t understand me. When I became more adamant, they laughed and laughed and laughed. I get tired of telemarketers calling me and laughing at me. I’m not telling a joke.
Also, I hate when people say, “You’re so funny,” when they are obviously not all that amused, just feeling maybe a little overwhelmed or something, but want to defuse what they think is a “situation” developing, when there is no “situation.” Also, no funny. I’m just talking. Or, I was. Now I’m over it.
Have I mentioned the long toenails yet? I think I have, but some people have not taken heed. Everyone should cut their toenails to a reasonable length so I don’t want to throw up when I look at their feet. Also, I shouldn’t even have to say it. They should KNOW.
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By ZombiePirate on Sep 2, 2010
45. I battle with this all day, every-day. No matter how many times I get them adjusted as soon as I walk outside (it seems) gravity must increase or something because it seems that they are just yanked down my face.
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By Lindsay on Sep 2, 2010
When I have more time, I will add more irritations, but the biggest one right now between my husband and I?????
“Husband- I don’t clean because you like things cleaner than me, I don’t think it is dirty enough to clean yet.”
Sometimes is is about being FUCKING SANITARY dude!!! When the dishes are piled high and there are ants, do you not think that is dirty enough??? The tub, when you can see a ring of grime, is THAT not dirty enough?? When you run out of underwear, do you think that it is time for laundry, or is it not “dirty” enough??? WHAT.THE.FUCK.
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By Ale on Sep 2, 2010
I really hate when folks who have F350 trucks or bigger that really require 2 parking spaces decide to park in the closest parking spaces to where one must enter a building. Just have the curtesy to park your butt down the row where you are not taking an extra space away from a little old couple or people with babies or me. Also learn to park straight. If you are going to buy a huge truck,learn how to handle it.
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By Kaik on Sep 2, 2010
Another really annoying thing about WoW is when people learn that I play, they either a. Get this retarded look on their faces because its oh-so-impossible for a female who goes out a lot to play WoW, or b. Start to give advice/anecdotes about being addicted to WoW and making sure I’m careful about playing because I’ll totally be addicted no questions asked.
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Flame Reply:
September 3rd, 2010 at 2:49 pm
I know… so annoying!
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By Maria on Sep 2, 2010
I was just telling Diane that quitting my last real job was the best day of my life. She told me to come over and read your post.
It’s true though, nothing else was that liberating and exciting and full of YEAH, SUCK IT YOU A-HOLES. And just, joy.
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By Mark on Sep 2, 2010
1. People who squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle of the tube…..dont do that.
2. Put the toilet tissue paper on correctly so that it rolls off the front of the roll and not behind. NOT BEHIND!!!
3. Dont call a plastic cup a glass.
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TJ Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 12:56 pm
I call them “plastics.”
As in, “Can I please have some diet soda in a plastic?”
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Mark Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Not to lead the thread away from its path, but doesnt plastic + soda = less flavor then glass + soda? Much like chocolate milk tatse much better in a plastic than it does in glass.
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TJ Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 1:20 pm
I just hate drinking from a glass.
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By CWanderlust on Sep 2, 2010
I know that day you’re having very well.
There is a children’s book you should read (if you never have) called Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No good, Very Bad Day.
I promise, it will bring a smile to your face : )
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By Theresa on Sep 2, 2010
#14 New eggs vs. old eggs
Pretty simple. Eggs are porous. They lose moisture as they age. Old eggs suck in air as they lose moisture. Ergo, old eggs, with their larger air pockets, will float better than newer eggs. Drop an egg from each carton into a glassful of water. The newer egg will either sink or float lower in the water than the older egg. If they both float in the water at about the same level, then I’d look on the egg cartons for some kind of date that is probably there.
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By Mark on Sep 3, 2010
Okay, 2 day late entry….pre-paying inside to use the gas pump outside. Like if you want to fill up you will know how much it is going to be. And what if I want a drink or a snack. Now I have to go and pay again. If I am using a debit card, because who carries cash anymore, I have to use it for a freakin transaction of a buck sixty two. (Big Red soda and a small bag of Dorito’s)
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By Flame on Sep 3, 2010
1. Welcome back to WoW! (What server are you again? We’re on Staghelm)
2. That drives me nuts as well. Raven leaves big slobbers marks on me constantly!
7 & 8. are we the same person involved with the same guy?
20. Am I doing it right?
43. Meh. I understand ya. Red head = short fuse
47. ARGH! Yes, hate that. Then they don’t get it when you say you’re fine/just leveling a weapon skill, etc. GO AWAY PPL!
My current pet peeve right now – guild drama. OMFSM… really? One guy being a big baby about who’s running ICC (no alts, except we need to take his and someone else’s kid shouldn’t be running/getting gear – oh, but your 7 yr old should run and get everything) – gquitting when he didn’t get his way (good riddance) and people getting all up in arms about it. It’s a fucking GAME! ::headdesk::
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By Steph on Sep 10, 2010
So, a week late to the party, but THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH for number 28. Can you, like, make that part of google’s homepage or something?
Seriously, commenting (I think for the first time!) a week late. That’s how much that means to me.
Aaaahhhh. One other person in the world knows the difference. Thank you.
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By Linnea on Sep 1, 2011
A year later, and this post totally made my day, because… well just because.
I may have complained that the AIR was touching me once or twice because my darling husband always wants fans blowing on him all the time even in the middle of winter and I don’t want the air to touch me!!
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