How not to succeed in business

September 30th, 2009 | by TJ |

So this isn’t a huge deal, I just wanted someone to share in my righteous indignation and outrage. I also have some outrage about how I had to basically hold my breath and stomp my feet to get Phil to take me to Coldstone even though HE SAID the night before that we could go to Coldstone AND I provided a text message as evidence where he said “I did say we could go to Coldstone,” and I just feel it’s not fair to make me be all “BUT YOU SAID!!” when you fully admit that YOU DID SAY!

So anyway, last night, Phil and I went to dinner and then to Coldstone. While we were eating our ice cream, I pointed to the walls, which were completely covered in those cards you get to write your name on when you donate to a charity and asked him, “Hey, want to go make fun of what other people name their kids?*” (The fact that he was all for it was yet another indicator that I should be secure in my decision to marry him).

So anyway, we’re looking at the wall and he’s telling me how we can’t name a kid Mercedes or Porsche or any other car name, because they’d likely** end up a stripper (dependent on how expensive the car is – a Mercedes might be a classy Vegas strip stripper while, say, a Corolla or an Accord would strip in one of those bars out by the airport with a motel attached), when I spotted something totally lame.

One of the donation cards said “Slumber Parties by Kat” and also listed her full name and phone number.

Slumber Parties are those sales parties like Tupperware and Pampered Chef, only with lingerie or sex toys or something.

Someone actually used a $1 donation to a children’s cancer charity as cheap advertising. How lame do you have to be to do something like that?

I kind of wanted to call the number and tell her that I would never, ever, EVER buy a dildo from her. EVER.

* IF you live in the same area where we live and IF you donated to that Coldstone location and IF you named your kid something stupid, then we apologize for making fun of you.

**And before anyone with a car name gets all BUTTHURT – we said LIKELY to become a stripper. Not GUARANTEED.

7 Responses to “How not to succeed in business”

  1. By john the diver on Sep 30, 2009

    Some of my fondest memories are of the time I spent with Mercedes and Shelby in the champagne room in Vegas…wait. I mean at the car show looking at all those nice cars. (in case Mrs. Skraps is reading)

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  2. By Bernie on Sep 30, 2009

    Have a sister named Mercedes and she is ok except for the fact that she met all three of her husbands in the bowling alley.

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  3. By Liz on Sep 30, 2009

    Besides just imagine the dirty jokes one can say about car names, especially on a girl. Actually I knew a girl named Mercedes, she turned out be a doctor.

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  4. By Jason R. Peters on Oct 1, 2009

    epixphail

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  5. By Three on Oct 1, 2009

    Ha! Loved that post. I’m with you on the car names.

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  6. By Jason Doege on Oct 1, 2009

    It did not escape my razor sharp attention that Phil says, “we can’t name a kid Mercedes,” in such a way as to imply that you might someday have a kid to name…

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  7. By Aboo on Oct 5, 2009

    I find it funny that Kat got free advertising on your blog too… But no phone number, damnit.

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