House Rules
December 9th, 2009 | by TJ |So, you know how when you were little, you could go to a friend’s house, and their mom would give you a glass of soda with dinner like it totally wasn’t even a thing, and it wasn’t even a special glass of soda because you were there, like, celebration of an awesome guest soda, but just, you know, the thing in the house, that you could totally have soda with dinner in their house if you wanted to, even though in your house you could have juice. Or Kool Aid. Sometimes. And one time? Your mom made Kool Aid, one of the little paper packets, and totally forgot to add the sugar and you drank just about all of it anyway before an older cousin noticed it tasted like smashed cat assholes, because you were afraid if you didn’t appreciate the Kool Aid, you totally wouldn’t get any more Kool Aid?
Or how sometimes you go to someone’s house and everyone is taking their shoes off at the door, and you’re like “Oh shit, I haven’t worn matching socks in like, 4 months, because I never leave the house and no one ever sees my socks and I can’t even begin to make a guess at the state of my current Foot Freshness,” and there’s totally no way out of it, because everyone is taking their shoes off, because that is what you do in that house?
Every house has its own set of House Rules, from what is acceptable to drink with dinner, to shoes on or off, to whether or not the Income Tax and Luxury Tax money goes into the center of the board on Monopoly, to be collected by whoever lands on Free Parking.
In some houses, you are not allowed to eat anywhere except for at a table. In our house, you can feel free to eat wherever you plop your ass, because we’re totally not uptight like that. And actually, we don’t have a table. Favored spots include the couch, our computer desks and leaning up against the counter in the kitchen.
That is not so much a rule as an Anti-House Rule. An Anti-House Rule, I’ve just decided, is a lack of a rule where some houses have a rule. Like in the situation above, some houses dictate what you are to do with your shoes, as a House Rule, while I don’t give a crap and a half what you do with your shoes – our Anti-House Rule.
We do have House Rules, however, like the one I totally made up this morning. Last night, I was grabbing a diet soda, and we had three different kinds, but there were only two cans of Diet Mt Dew left. It’s my favorite, but also the only one of the three available that Phil will drink at all, so I informed him that I left him for him. The House Rule, however, is that cans of soda or portions of ice cream or such things “saved” for another person are only saved for as long as it takes for me to decide I obviously want it more than you do, or else you would have eaten/drank it by now. I believe this could be considered a version of “you snooze, you lose.” There is no set time frame for this rule. It is when I decide I want the soda that I told you I saved for you so you should have known to drink it.
Here’s another long-standing House Rules – no one sleeps unless I want them to sleep. This is how we end up taking middle of the night trips for Diet Mt Dews the size of my head.
Growing up, I assume most of us had House Rules. Like my mom’s dinner rule was that you had to try at least one bite of everything. Some houses had the “clean your plate” rules. There were household chore rules and don’t jump on this or that rules and what food is okay for snacks rules, etc.
Since Phil and I don’t have kids, we’ve not really had to make too many House Rules in our current living situation. Most of our House Rules are made up, spur of the moment by me, specifically to suit my needs (Phil – if you read this, we’re out of Diet Mt. Dew). I think he might have made a House Rule or two himself, but I can’t think of any right now, because if they’re rules that suit me, I claim to have made the up, and if they are rules that don’t suit me, I have long since overridden them with a new House Rule.
Going to other people’s houses as a kid was always interesting when you’d find out that they were allowed to ride their bikes way out of sight, or have cookies after school, or not do their homework until breakfast. I definitely remember which friends had more freedom and sugar than I did, and which friends were more severely restricted.
As an adult, I realize that some people let their significant other sleep on his own schedule. And some people have rules about certain special snacks or foods belonging to one person and not any others. I am interested, Internet, to hear your House Rules and your Anti-House Rules. Also, if you remember that far back, what were your parents’ House Rules, and were things different at friends’ houses?
By Awlbiste on Dec 9, 2009
Once my aunt made Kool-Aid with pickling salt instead of sugar by accident. Everyone else noticed it smelled funny but I was the only one to take a big gulp. Oh… my… god.
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By boomer on Dec 9, 2009
the most important house rule: never split 10′s.
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By Chibi Jeebs on Dec 9, 2009
My house rules:
1. Shoes off (I think this is a regional thing)
2. Clean up after yourself
3. If you take the last pop/use the last of the toilet paper, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE replace it
4. Toilet paper goes OVER, not under
I’m sure there are more, but I’m drawing a blank.
The only major things I can remember from home that are probably unique-ish were Mom’s ban on the words hate, d’oh, and the phrase shut up.
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Awlbiste Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
I have the “no shoes” rule and also the OVER toilet paper rule. If toilet paper is ever placed in the oh-no-you-did-not UNDER position I can sense it and it must immediately be switched. Thankfully I live alone currently and never have to deal with people doing things WRONG OMG SO WRONG.
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sepiasunrise Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
My Gran banned the word “bored”. Me and next brother just accepted that but our youngest brother saw it as a personal challenge to get round it, resulting in him from a youngish age using the phrase “Granny, I’m that word we’re not allowed to say”!
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Bored? That seems pretty random.
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sepiasunrise Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Yeah, I guess. My Gran was totally lovely, her point was just that you can always find SOMETHING to do, and in her house (they lived on a farm) I always found that to be true!
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Khronos Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
OH JEEZ YES. My sister growing up was an ‘under’ and we had EPIC TP switching battles. Clearly, Awlbiste is a wise human being.
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
I have a “please tell me where my shoes are the second it appears I can’t remember where I kicked off my shoes because if I don’t find them immediately I am going to throw a tantrum” rule.
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Chibi Jeebs Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
But are you powerless to stop yourself from “correcting” roll placement in other people’s bathrooms? Because yeah… *hangs head in neurotic shame*
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Awlbiste Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
I don’t really go over to other people’s houses but if I did I think I would have some kind of serious internal struggle between Polite Me and OCD Me.
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Pablo Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
I personally would not correct the greivous error, I would however mentally classify them as “pffft, ‘unders’ “
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Oh, I remember some friends’ parents banned “shut up” and “hate,” which I totally never understood because sometimes people I hate need to shut the hell up, you know?
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Chibi Jeebs Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
WIN. That is all.
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Liz Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
We have the same rules. :)
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By ggs_closet on Dec 9, 2009
Growing up I was not allowed sugar foods in my house. I grew up thinking carob was real chocolate and that everyone drank goats milk.
I didn’t get to watch anything but PBS, my tv time was monitored, and I went to bed a 8pm.
I remember going to spend the night at a friends house and eating chocolate cocoa puffs with REAL milk. Orgasmic!!!
AND her mom lets us watch Friday the 13th 1 & 2 till we feel asleep at 1 am in front of tv in our chocolate stained clothing.
Of course he next day we found out why my mom didn’t allow me to eat chocolate and drink real milk. I was allergic and broke out in massive hives. lol
Live & learn.
The rules are simple in our house.
-Pick up after yourself.
-Take off shoes outside, don’t fling them at the wall and watch the mud streak down the walls.
-Don’t tease the dog because when he tackles you and humps your head I won’t save you. -Don’t EVER drink my diet pepsi.
-I get first dibs on computer ALWAYS.
-Daddy gets to sleep past 9 am.
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Khronos Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
My wife’s mom wouldn’t let her eat Lucky Charms because, “As everyone knows, leprechauns are devils in disguise.” Yeah, they are THAT kind of people.
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Whoa, extreme!
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ggs_closet Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
OMG lol My mom’s just a health nut.To this day she shakes her head when I use diet sugar and tells me embalming fluid is used to make it. I tell her,”Great, I’m one step ahead when I die.” :)
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
I wonder if I’ll have shoe rules when I have my own house.
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ggs_closet Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
You will after you’ve cleaned the carpet for the 18th millionth time only to hear the excuse-Did I do that?
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By sepiasunrise on Dec 9, 2009
We had lots of house rules, like the eating your dinner at the table except on a video night rule. But the one that springs to mind is that we weren’t allowed to have toy guns (I have two brothers) or to watch things on tv that involved guns, which we all remember lead to not being allowed to watch the A-team but we were allowed to watch Knight Rider (presumably most of the violence was using his hands?). As they were on one after the other it was a fine art to make sure we turned over at exactly the right time to catch the start of Kinght Rider! All 3 of us vividly remember this but my Mum can’t remember it at all!
I don’t really have any house rules at the moment but as I’m about to get a new housemate I have begun to think them up. Mainly, to keep public places fairly tidy and not to put anything inside my non-stick frying pans and not to put them in the dishwasher! I’m not even that into cooking, but I do like keeping the non-stickness intact!
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Once we had a Nintendo, N74, etc, we weren’t allowed to have any violent games at all, like you weren’t allowed to have guns and stuff. We had stuff like Mario, Marble Madness, Tiny Toons Cartoon maker, etc. When my brother got his XBox and was well into his teens, it still took my mom awhile to adjust to buying him violent games. There’s still no GTA, etc, purchased by her.
And we weren’t allowed to watch the Simpsons – I didn’t see it until college!
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sepiasunrise Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Oh yeah, I forgot that one cos I wasn’t as into the computer back then as my brother but we weren’t allowed violent games either. To be honest there are plenty of things I’d do differently but if I have kids I’ll probably be the same about violence.
The Simpson’s didn’t come to the UK until I was in college I think (yes, I’m that old, lol).
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Adlib Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
OMG! You are my long lost sister, I’m sure. I never saw the Simpsons until I was in college either! I love it now, but if my parents thought that was bad, they’d hate Family Guy (which I also love).
We generally weren’t allowed to watch any television that had much cursing in it, but guess what? Violence? That’s okay, at least they’re not cursing!! LOL
I’ll just go one further and say that if people on TV were arguing, my dad would not hesitate to grab the remote and try to mute out the bad words or we’d just miss that conversation entirely. It was pretty humiliating when it happened when I brought my college roommate home with me one weekend. My parents baffle me.
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Liz Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
No Simpsons?? That is a crime!
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Julie Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
My 4yo daughter told her grandparents the other week that she “didn’t want to be murdered and have her skin eaten”. Source? Simpsons Halloween special. My husband and I enjoy Simpsons and Family Guy, but sometimes we have to remember that it isn’t actually suitable for our little audience.
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By Vronak on Dec 9, 2009
TJ, do you have House Rules related to the dog?
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Brinkley has his own set of rules, and they can basically be summed up as “If you are 100 lbs of dead weight and decide to get on the bed even though you’re not really supposed to be on the bed, you can stay there as long as you’re not blocking the TV.”
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Julie Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Not to mention “TJ’s underwear is considered a healthy snack and features prominently in the canine food pyramid” ;)
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By Roast on Dec 9, 2009
Growing up I was relatively poor. Yet all my friends always hung out at my house. Because my single mother didn’t really have any house rules. As a teenager, seriously, her rules were these:
If you drink, don’t drive.
Since I know you will drink, I’d prefer you do it here at the house.
If you are going to have sex, use protection.
Clean up the party mess after you and your friends are done, and don’t F**K with the fish tank.
Looking back as a parent now…WOW.
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I think that a lot of teenagers want to grow up to be a parent like that, and then kids come along and suddenly it doesn’t seem like as good of an idea.
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By Kristin H on Dec 9, 2009
When my daughter started potty training, we had to instigate a rule of “Everyone is in charge of their own vagina in this house.” This is probably more of an unspoken rule in other people’s houses.
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
I want to ask for more detail, but I’m also kind of scared to ask, because I don’t have any kids yet and I try to steer clear of things that might scare me away from having them.
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Kristin H Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
She was…um…eager to help other people out. Too eager, as it turns out. Hence the rule.
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By Kes on Dec 9, 2009
One of the biggest ‘House Rules’ in my house was about bed times. If your bed time was 8:00pm, you had BETTER be in bed when the clock ticked 8:00pm. If you were not in bed (even like THREE steps away) when the clock ticked 8:01pm, you had to go to bed an hour earlier the next night.
And if you were not in bed when the clock ticked 7:01pm that night, you had to go to bed TWO hours earlier the following night.
I think my brother ended up having to go to bed at like 4pm when he got home from school once. Which was hilarious for me, since I would just go to bed, then turn on my super-bright nite light and read books under my covers anyway :D
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Becky Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I love this bedtime rule. Note to self.
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By JdJdJd on Dec 9, 2009
The only major rule I remember is Pot was allowed in the backyard only. Not in the house to stink everything up and not in the front yard where the neighbors could see you.
And no..my parents did not smoke it.
My house was definitely not uptight. I didn’t have a curfew either. I just had to say when I was coming home and I was expected to abide by the time I set.
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Ha. I don’t think I’ll be an uptight parent, but definitely more uptight than yours.
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By Becky on Dec 9, 2009
Our house rules growing up included no rated R movies (even once I was in college and would come home on weekends), no Simpsons, and no saying shut up or swearing. My mom would let you say you were bored, but then you would find yourself doing chores, so we didn’t say that much. Oh, and if you woke dad up (he worked nights) you were in BIG trouble.
Our house rules now are mostly of my making. Put your dirty dishes back in the kitchen. Take off your shoes when you come in. I think that’s about it for now, but I’m sure we’ll be adding to the list once the baby is born.
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
I always felt like my parents were kind of strict, but reading about how many parents had similar rules, it actually sounds pretty reasonable now. Of course, I’m also 28 now. So, you know. I’M more reasonable.
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JdJdJd Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Holy cow..I am sooooo much older then that!
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Adlib Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
I understand the waking dad up thing. Of course, that made being inside during the winter extra fun. How are you supposed to play quietly?? We’d play outside in the cold as long as we could take it and then come in.
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By Franchi on Dec 9, 2009
House rule is that the pet Ball Python Snake aka Mirko is “HERS and HERS alone” I don’t touch, I don’t feed, I don’t clean up after “it”. I can and will fix the heating system should it go out but only after said snake has been removed.
MY rule, not hers and agreed upon prior to purchase of “it”.
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Uhh… good rule. Thankfully, not something I will ever have to deal with – I don’t do snakes, and Phil thinks snake people are weird.
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By Ylee on Dec 9, 2009
The main house rule I remember growing up was that every single night we ate together as a family at the table with a home cooked meal and actually talked.
And now, when my parents come and stay at my house, when I set dinner on the table, I look at my dad and say “Turn off the TV it is time for dinner.” and he does! It is funny how roles have been reversed!
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Skraps Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
We had that same rule when I was growing up. so much so that when i was in high school and got my first job (at Taco Bell) I could not start work before 6:00, because I had to be home for dinner at 5:30.
Now we sit at the kitchen table and play board games while we eat dinner. Currently we have been playing Settlers of Catan for the last 6 months. I’m in the middle of a 5 game win streak!
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Settlers is the BEST GAME EVER. We love it.
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
We had family dinner as well – and if you didn’t want to eat, too bad, because you were going to come downstairs and SIT THERE anyway.
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By TheWicked on Dec 9, 2009
I lived with my parents up until I turned 20. When I turned 18 my parents came up with the brilliant idea of charging me rent.
After the first rent payment I paid, I informed them that since this was now my house as well I was abolishing all house rules in my part of the house (the basement). Two weeks later I no longer had to pay rent and the house rules were reinstated.
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Excellent way to make a point. My parents actually let up on most house rules regarding curfew, etc, as soon as I turned 18, even though I still lived in the house. They were big on stuff like that – you can do what you want at 18, you can see PG-13 movies at 13, etc.
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Aboo Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
I tried that on my Dad. I got an eviction notice. And I was 17… lol
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By Karyn on Dec 9, 2009
One of the funnier rules we had was that if it didn’t leave a mark, it didn’t happen. There were 4 of us kids, and so long as mom couldn’t see that indian rug burn, you weren’t in trouble for it. *grin*
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Ha! Nice! My parents were, and still are, pretty big fans of turning up the TV to hide the yelling.
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Adlib Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Along these same lines, when you all were old enough to be left home alone, did you nearly kill each other with no one there to stop the fight? Because my sister & I had some epic ones when they were gone. I’m surprised we weren’t seriously hurt! I think we both were trying to figure out just how hard we could hit each other.
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Karyn Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
We had some knock down dragouts.. Like me dragging my sister up the stairs. By her hair. But there was always the threat of calling DAD AT WORK. That was the ultimate. Because if you interrupted him at work, when he got home, he’d be certain that EVERYONE would be punished.
By the time I was a teen, things had chilled quite a bit, because my brother, the baby of us, had started getting bigger, and I had stopped. So I got out of the fighting business while my cred was still good. You know that whole thing that if you pick up a horse when it’s a colt they’ll believe you always can? I stopped picking on him when I could still pick him up by the neck. Now he’s 6′ something, and i’m 5’4″, and he doesn’t mess with me! *big grin*
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Adlib Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Oh yes! The “dad at work” thing was exactly like that at my house too. Good to know we all led similar lives discipline-wise. :D
Somehow my sister and I eventually became friends…it almost seemed to happen overnight. It was funny!
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Melchoir Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
My older sister use to pick fights with me all the time. Remember in the cartoons when one character would charge another, only to be held back at arms length by the forehead? The charger would then start furiously swing its arms in giant circles through the air, vainly trying to hit the other. Yeah, we did that. My mom always warned her that one day I might end up bigger than her. She was right, and I was able to take revenge. My sister should be glad that I am placid by nature, otherwise I could have made things a lot worse for her. However, there was that one time I taught her what it was like to be in a horror movie, where you couldn’t get away. That was hilarious.
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By Coranada on Dec 9, 2009
Beyond the rules mentioned here the strictest rules in my house were 1.) Turn of the light when you leave the room! and 2.) DEAR GOD DO NOT PUT AN ICE TRAY BACK WITHOUT FILLING IT UP. Yes, that means even one spot.
That second one was on pain of death I think. It still makes me twitchy visiting friends when they don’t refill the trays. Thank god most people have ice makers now.
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Aboo Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
I have installed the Ice Tray Rule in my own home. That drives me freaking insane!
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Adlib Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Yep, we have an ice cube tray rule. One tray is to be used, the other you fill up so that when one runs out, you always have a full one ready to go. I get twitchy about that too. Good thing I’ve trained my husband to do this.
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By Jen_Ann_W on Dec 9, 2009
Growing up I recall some unspoken house rules – no swearing (which included “shut up”), no shoes on the coffee table, if you take it you eat it, no food in the bedroom (after a nasty forgotten glass of milk incident), if you’re going out let us know where you’ll be and call if you’ll be home after 10. Pretty simple, not too strict I think.
We don’t have kids but my husband is like an 8-year-old in a 30-year-old body, so there are a few rules that I wish I could enforce, but it’s just impossible for him to follow through sometimes. Like turning the lights off when you leave a room so they don’t stay on for EIGHT FRIGGING HOURS or putting your damn clothes in the laundry basket that’s two feet away instead of in the middle of the hallway floor… ARGGHHH
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By Jessica V. on Dec 9, 2009
Our rules were mostly related to television/movies and what we could/couldn’t watch. I was only allowed to watch one hour of MTV a week, one hour of regular TV a day, most teen movies were off limits,etc. The funniest rule that I remember, however, was that my brother and I were not allowed to watch The Flinstones b/c my mom didn’t like how Fred treated Wilma. So yeah, that was odd. Mom claims she doesn’t remember making that rule, but I vividly do!
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
I think I would have liked the hourly limits on TV, actually. Not because I feel like I watched too much, but because my mom would randomly say “Ok, enough TV,” and it seemed all arbitrary and just when she decided it was enough. At least if I knew how much time I had I wouldn’t waste it on watching something crappy!
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By Swistle on Dec 9, 2009
We had to ask “May I have a snack?” even though the answer was always, always yes, and we weren’t allowed to read books with magic/witches in them, and it was only educational TV. (All these rules ceased at a reasonable age.) But at my friend’s house, they had to wear bathrobes over their pajamas if they were out of their rooms! Another friend had to brush teeth after ANY food, even just snack! Another friend could have LITTLE DEBBIE CAKES in the lunchbox!!
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Khronos Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
Heh, another one my wife’s parents were good for (the no wizards/magic rule.) Apparently she got a My Little Pony video as a birthday present one year, and her mom made her return it because OMG WIZARD!
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
I love the robe over pajamas thing. It seems so civilized. I actually asked for a robe for Christmas this year from my mom (one that doesn’t show my butt when I bend over, what the hell is with that?) because I want to feel so civilized.
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Franchi Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Let me guess. Phil gave that current bathrobe to you? :-)
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By Jessica V. on Dec 9, 2009
Oh – and I just remembered one other…my mom got really tired of me begging to do “grown up” things like wear make up, get my ears pierced, get a certain kind of haircut, so she finally wrote them all down on a piece of paper, determined at what age I could do those things and posted it on the fridge. That way she could just point at the fridge when I would start begging for something. She was pretty particular too – the make up thing was divided into levels (e.g., jr. high I could wear lip gloss, 9th grade – face powder, no blush or mascara till jr. year, IF the school was ok with it). It still makes me laugh when I think of it.
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Haha I’d love to hear how she came up with each age and its associated permissions.
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By Aboo on Dec 9, 2009
1.) You don’t lie to mom. Ever. Or you get “spanked”*.
2.) No TV. Until I was 9 years old we did not have a television in our house. From the ages of 9-12 we were allowed to watch the news in the evening on a 13″ B&W TV.
3.) You always clean your plate, always. And this rule extended to other homes as well. God forbid someone told Mom I didn’t eat my brocoli…
4.) No cursing.
5. Bed time means QUIET. You can read all you want, but one word heard by the parents and… “spanked”*.
These are the ones I remember the most but not, by far, the only ones.
* – This refers to being struck across the rear-end with anything that was handy. My mother broke a blood vessel in her hand on my rear when I was 8 years old. After that it was open season. Or Dad. And GAWD hit me with anything, but don’t wait till Dad gets home.
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Aboo Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Btw. I’m 34. And I still never lie to my mother. :P
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Pablo Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Mom’s weapon of choice in the spanking department was a wooden yardstick (the thin ones). One year a contractor my dad worked with gave them presents of yardsticks that were made of of 1″x1″ ‘s, VERY sturdy.
We lived in fear of that yardstick.
It still hangs in the closet at the top of the basement stairs to this day.
In fact, it would be one of the few things that I would definitely want from my parents house when they pass away.
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By Pablo on Dec 9, 2009
1. no cursing
2. no alcohol (though there was a half-pint of whiskey in the fridge for AGES. I have no idea when, or why it was purchased – probably for teething babies – but it was always there and always had the same amount.)
3. no pop – Friday night was ‘popcorn and pop’ night when we could have our choice of a bottle of pop (the old returnable bottles), a bowl of popcorn and we would watch the ABC Friday Night Movie. The rest of the week was water or kool-aid.
4. No cable TV (until I was like 16)
5. You will be a member of the clean plate club
One of my friends parents were pretty cool, until they remodelled their house and put white carpet and white furniture in the living room. Then all of a sudden there were no shoes allowed on in the house, no food or drink in the living room, no TV in the living room. Consequently it became a room no one in the family used. This established early on that I would nopt only never get white carpet or furniture, but that I would never have a room in the house that was essentially ‘just for show’.
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
I learned that lesson when my dad’s favorite saying became “This is why we can’t have anything nice!”
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By Susan (Trout Towers) on Dec 9, 2009
I used to babysit for a family whose house rule was “if it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.”
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TJ Reply:
December 9th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Ewwww!
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By Shin Ae on Dec 9, 2009
I have a lot of rules in my house due to my phobias about germs and mold. I know some are unreasonable, but whatever, it’s my house. As soon as we walk in, “shoes off, wash hands, bags stay at the door, coats stay at the door.” Not for guests, just for us. After school (aka Germ City) or going to certain places (Wal-Mart!), clothes get changed. Baths immediately after school, work, birthday parties, etc. Twenty minutes computer time per day for children. Homework done first. Limited treats after meals, and soda only occasionally and then only one serving. Vegetables must be eaten. Refrigerator should never contain anything that is expired or old. Complicated rules regarding laundry.
Anti-rules: eat wherever, pretty much whenever, although meals are served. Unlimited TV time for kids if they are home during the day, unless I want to watch something or it’s driving me nuts or making them too cranky (they rarely just sit and watch it, though). Pretty much unlimited access to art supplies/instruction at most any time of day. Flexible bedtime.
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By Carla Hinkle on Dec 10, 2009
1. Shoes off in the house
2. Kids can eat at the table or in their playroom. Adults can eat on the couch, the computer, in bed–wherever we damn well please.
My kids are 5.5, 3, and about-to-be-born. I wonder how long I can keep the kids from eating anywhere we do?
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By sister on Dec 10, 2009
Yeah I was always totally thrilled/weirded out when my friends could just HAVE soda. Then I always felt like a big jerk when friends came over and we couldn’t offer them any damn soda.
Also, Chuck shares your house rule about ‘saved’ items. I will buy ice cream that I KNOW he doesn’t like, and yet if I don’t finish it by the time he is finished with HIS carton of ice cream, he eats mine. The one he doesn’t even LIKE. Probably so I can’t eat ice cream in front of him later on. Anyway. There is a pile of shoes by my front door and NO ONE ever takes their shoes off.
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By Wulfa on Dec 10, 2009
Mom’s rules:
#1. 1-2 hours of t.v. Of course the littlest brother got away with more.
#2. Go outside and play!
Grandma’s rules:
#1. No t.v. Seriously.
#2. What are you doing inside? Get outside and move!
There were more, but these were the major ones :) And since both my mom and her mom had the same ones, I’m going to bet I’ll do the same.
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By Lawrence on Dec 10, 2009
Growing up, my mother always had the most adaptable rule set. She had 3 house rules…
1) No running in the house.
2) No throwing of any objects in the house.
3) Whatever was currently needed to make her point.
Conversations would go as follows:
“Why are you hitting you baby sister? Don’t you know I only have 3 rules in my house? No running, no throwing, and no hitting your sister.”
or
“Why are you drinking a coke before bed? Don’t you know I only have 3 rules in my house? No running, no throwing, and no cokes before bed.”
It was very frustrating until I finally caught on to her ways.
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By Alias Mother on Dec 10, 2009
Oh my god, I hate HATE HAAAATTTE the shoes-off people. HATE. I think it’s the height of rudeness. My feet always get cold, I don’t own nice socks, and I’m no fashionista, but the shoes are part of the outfit, you know? Buy a vacuum and get over it, shoes-off people.
Our informal house rules involve stuff like dividing food evenly (we won’t eat the other person’s last ice cream sandwich, for example, no matter how long it sits there) and no pajamas until after dinner. Since having a kid, we’ve developed some more formal ones like: meals get eaten at the table, except for Friday night pizza and TV. Cups without lids may only be used at the table. When she gets old enough, we’ll institute the vegetable rule I grew up with: you get to pick one vegetable you don’t have to eat when it gets served. Otherwise, down the hatch.
My husband grew up with no house rules. Like, none. They wandered in and out of the bathroom freely, no matter who was using it. Unlimited TV. If the kids didn’t like what was served for dinner, they could ask for something else to be made for them. When I heard that, I think my head flew off my body because NOT IN MY HOUSE, OH NO.
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Pablo Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
The shoes off people seem to be in a majority anymore, to the point I always wear decent socks if I’m going to someone elses house. If I know they’re ‘shoes off’ people I frequently won’t tie my shoes. My folks were shoes on, we usually take them off, but no-one going to have a heart attack if you leave them on. We take them off cause it’s more comfy.
My mom would usually make me something different to eat for dinner if she knew I didn’t like what was on the menu (even though we’re a family of 7), because dammit Liver and onions are nasty and I’m not eating it. You can ‘clean plate club’ and ‘starving children in Africa’ all you want lady, not happening.
I don’t really know how I got away with that…I also was the only one to get out of piano lessons. /shrug.
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By Shelly on Dec 10, 2009
I still remember which friends had Pringles potato chips and Capri Suns! (My mother was too cheap to buy them!)
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By Melchoir on Dec 10, 2009
Growing up, I couldn’t collect and play Magic: The Gathering because my mom said, “It is of the devil.” Funny she should say that, because I played around with a lot of stuff that was just as bad if not worse. That is the only time she ever used that phrase. I was also raised to be of good moral fiber: No lying, stealing, drinking, smoking, cursing, etc. Technically the smoking and drinking rules were to prevent doing it underaged, but even now my sister, who is 28, isn’t suppose to be drinking. There were also rules about report cards and allowance; we had to earn our allowance. Cleaning our church resulted in a certain weekly wage that increased as we got older. The report card rules expressed the pay scale of $2 for every A, $1 for every B, nothing for C, -$1 for D and -$2 for F. While it wasn’t stated in the rules, anything below a C had heavy punishments as well. We had to feed and water the animals after school. All of them. Cats, dogs, rabbits, goats, chickens. The works.
There was also the curfew thing. My sister had to be home before 10PM or so until after high school. It wasn’t until she was in college that the curfew was moved to 1AM. With me, I got the 1AM straight out the gate. After high school, I just had to approximate when/if I was coming home. My sister threw a fit about it; unfair gender treatment and all that, but I had 2 things going for me. 1) Second-born. All the mistakes and harsh rules were tested on the first-born and revised for the later iteration. 2) I didn’t have much of a social life. When I’d hang out with my friends, it was always a total sausage fest.
I somehow managed to have my own rule adopted as a house rule. If it’s been in the fridge for 24 hours, it’s fair game. If my parents brought home left-overs and didn’t take it for lunch the next day, I’d eat it at my next available opportunity. Anything prior to the 24 hrs required expressed permission form the owner.
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By morgan on Dec 10, 2009
Hmmm, “house rules” that I remember:
1) We always sat down at the kitchen table at 6-6:30 (timing dependent on extra cirrucular activities), with no TV or music on
2) No soda (funny, this changed for my brother – 9 years younger than me)
3) No TV in your bedroom (another rule that changed for my brother)
4) No Simpsons
5) No cursing – except words like “shut up” and “fart” were included in there (this has relaxed quite a bit for my brother; now it’s just regular curse words)
6) No cereals that had over 12g of sugar per serving
7) No playing with gun toys or pretending to shoot people with your hands
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By Mel on Dec 10, 2009
We weren’t allowed to drink soda or iced tea until practically high school unless it was a holiday or party or something. I think my mom’s issue was more with the caffeine than sugar though. My parents still rarely have soda in the house.
Other than that I think my parents were pretty laid back. It wasn’t chaos or anything, but they weren’t to rigid about any particular thing that I can think of. Now though, my two youngest sisters and brother get away with everything.
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