Foning it in Friday

October 30th, 2009 | by TJ |

A Bunch of Lists
some lists, by TJ

Five Things That Make Me Really Happy

1. Brinkley playing with his Great Dane friend Agusta at the dog park, because neither of them actually know how to do that dog fighting thing, and the other dogs totally kick their asses, but when they play together, they kind of just crash into each other repeatedly and politely give each other the cheek instead of full on jaws.
2. Matching a really good coupon with a really good sale. I don’t know how you can not feel accomplished when you walk out of the grocery store having saved 40%+ on the total.
3. My daily 3 hour sitcom block of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Full House and What I Like About You, and I also like that fact that after all of those are over, I leave the TV on that channel and Phil eventually comes home, and if I”m really quiet, I can turn and catch him watching The Gilmore Girls very intently.
4. Frozen pizza dinner on Friday nights.
5. Good hair days. I don’t have many. That is why I own so much extra hair.

Five Things I Don’t Understand at All

1. People who don’t use coupons or, even worse, sales fliers at the grocery store. How can you not? I mean, it’s free money. That they just want to GIVE to you. I don’t understand how you can not feel like a total chump when there is so much free saving out there for the taking. Of course, I understand that coupons take a lot of time. Luckily, my time is worth next to nothing.
2. That new Stargate show. I mean, I tried to watch it. Damn. I don’t know if I’m just not smart enough, or I don’t know enough background, but I’m pretty sure it’s just REALLY BAD.
3. How the DVR works and what I can and can’t do while it’s recording. I get really upset and paranoid when Phil tries to assure me that my television shows are safe.
4. Why Phil would wake up, open a bunch of windows, pull the blinds over the windows, leave the house, then text me three hours later and ask if I like how cold it is. SERIOUSLY?
5. People who always manage to have good hair days.

Five Things I Need to Do Today

1. Finish up some study guides for some people who have an very important test coming up. That’s my special talent. Making study guides.
2. Clip and organize a whole bunch of coupons. See above. Because I plan on making some grocery stores my bitch this weekend.
3. Make a batch of sesame noodle sauce so I don’t have to be bothered over the weekend. Have you tried that Pioneer Woman recipe yet? Because we eat the hell out of those things. A lot. I have to develop some cooking skills, though, so I can figure out how to tweak it so that it’s a little less oily, when almost all the ingredients are oil.
4. Clean out the fridge and freezer, but let’s be honest, I probably won’t.
5. Deep condition my hair to ensure future good hair days. IT PROBABLY WON’T WORK.

Five Things I Would Like to Get Done This Weekend

1. Clean the bedroom. I mean, CLEAN it. You have no idea, Internet, but Phil hasn’t seen his bedroom floor since I moved in, and he’s secretly building up internal resentment. He says he’s totally not, but I KNOW these things.
2. Get the Jillian Michaels DVD out of the laptop, which refuses to give it up, I think because it feels very protective of me. Seriously. The second I put it in there to peek at Jillian, the MacBook stopped recognizing that it has a DVD drive. Which, actually, is not funny at all. And we’ll be going to an Apple store. Because damnit.
3. Move the furniture in the bedroom in such a manner that I stop dropping the clickers and my glasses down the side of the bed every night. That’s why I have so many pairs of glasses. Once all three are back there, I have Phil fish them all out.
4. Put up some shelves in the bedroom because, come on, we’ve had them sitting around for months.
5. Get a hair cut, but I’m supposed to be growing it out, so I probably won’t, but I will probably cut my bangs over the bathroom sink again and that’s always funny for a day or two.

Five Sites I Have Recently Enjoyed Mightily

1. Swistle
2. Mommy Wants Vodka
3. Five Star Friday
4. Jonniker
5. Hair Thursday

Now you can tell me five things. Only five, though. I get to tell a lot of things because it’s my blog. You only get to tell five. And you? Person who is going to tell 4 or 6 or some other number to be all defiant and funny? I’m calling you out in advance for being so predictable. FIVE!

**Also – I’m working on the final touches for my Becoming People Who Comment project that should be starting on Monday, barring any unforseen laziness. I hope you will want to participate. There won’t be prizes. Sorry.**

32 Responses to “Foning it in Friday”

  1. By Tchann on Oct 30, 2009

    Five Things I Miss Since Losing Weight:
    1. Torrid. I love their clothes, but I’m two sizes too small for their smallest size now.
    2. Eating a full rack of ribs, side of fries, and dessert. In one sitting.
    3. Overpowering my husband in a wrestling match by sheer weight alone.
    4. Baffling doctors with being morbidly obese, yet perfectly healthy.
    5. My wedding rings fitting. I think I need to get them resized…again. >.<

  2. By Deborah Timmers on Oct 30, 2009

    Five Things I miss since quitting Smoking

    1. After breakfast cig on the patio and watching my dogs chase the squirrels.
    2. after lunch cig on the patio and watching the dogs chase the squirrel again.
    3. after dinner cig and watching the dogs look for the squirrels since they have now gone to their nest.
    4. cigs in general honestly i liked smoking but i will admit i feel better.
    5. and the After SEX CIG!!!! ummm yummy !

    TJ Reply:

    Oh man, I quit 6 weeks ago and I miss smoking SO MUCH. The only way I’m able to deal with it is by saying I’m a “smoker on a break,” because the concept of being a non-smoker forever is too much for me.

  3. By john the diver on Oct 30, 2009

    1. Go to San Francisco right after work tonight to see “An Evening with Kevin Smith” at the Warfield.
    2. Try to got my wife out of her pre-Halloween funk.
    3. Finish cleaning house for major Halloween bash tomorrow night.
    4. Party like I’m 18 again.
    5. Regret Saturday nights partying, because lets face it partying like you are 18, when you are actually 37 doesn’t go over so well.

  4. By Swistle on Oct 30, 2009

    Five Things I’m Doing Right Now:

    1. Wondering if there is a later update on how the glasses turn out (I totally want to order from Zenni but have New Prescription Laziness and also Not Knowing What Would Look Good on Me-itis) and if I could look for it in the archives without looking up to find it 3 hours later.

    2. Wondering how much longer I can leave smallest child in his high chair before it counts as neglectful restraint.

    3. Getting photos off my camera.

    4. Thinking about the Keebler triple-chocolate cookies in the kitchen.

    5. Continually flexing my shoulder/wing/neck area to see if it still hurts.

    TJ Reply:

    I don’t think I ever updated except to say that they’re pretty rad. Shipping took FOREVER and I got a lot of runaround and excuses, but they did finally get here and they’re absolutely no different than anything you’d buy in the store.

    I especially love that you can make any frames you want into prescription sunglasses, because I’ve never worn contacts or had prescription sunglasses before, and being able to drive and such with sunglasses on is a REVELATION.

    2 pairs of glass + one pair on sunglasses + shipping, all for less than $60? I’ve got no real complaints.

    Also, the prescriptions seem to be dead on. Other than a couple of days adjusting to new frame styles, I’ve had no vision problems, headaches or anything.

  5. By Delicia on Oct 30, 2009

    Five things I have to do this weekend

    1. Decide who gets to stay home and hand out candy (ie: eat candy between trick-or-treaters) and who gets to race to keep up, and then towards the end drag, the kids around trick-or-treating tomorrow night.

    2. Clean my house before my mother-in-law comes over tomorrow to help with said trick-or-treating

    3. Go to the store, and realize that I don’t have any coupons (as usual) and spend way more money than I should have on foodstuffs, and candy to hand out tomorrow night.

    4. Sit and sort through every piece of candy my kids get after trick-or-treating to make sure nothing has been tampered with. This is also the time that Mom gets her “cut” for ToT escort and candy duty services (yeah.. that mini snickers is *mine*.. and that mini Hershey’s bar… etc).

    5. Take my son out and about so he can take pictures of things for some school project, using MY camera because he’s completely irresponsible and left his on the couch last year and it fell between the cushions, then when someone opened then shut the footrest on it, the internal mechanism *crunched* his camera and destroyed it. Grr.


    TJ Reply:

    One benefit of being childless so far – we still get to decide whether or not we’re participating in Halloween at all.

    Still deciding if we’re even going to hand out candy!

  6. By JdJdJd on Oct 30, 2009

    Five things I want to do this weekend.

    1. Go with hubby over to Donut Derelicts and show off the car.

    2. Sleep late on Sunday.

    3. Eat some Halloween candy.

    4. Spend some quiet time with hubby watching TV.
    5. Eat dinner at home for a change. (We’ve gone out every night all week.)

    TJ Reply:

    I think I should probably add “BUY some Halloween candy” to one of my lists.

    And then add “EAT some Halloween candy” to another one.

    Probably next week’s “List of things I really regret”

  7. By jen on Oct 30, 2009

    5(ish) Random Things I’m Trying to Figure Out at the Moment:
    1) Do I, or do I not want to drive 2 hours to visit the in-laws for the weekend?
    1a) If I do, what will I do there besides sit around?
    1b) If I don’t, where do I start on my mile-long list of chores at home?
    1c) Also if I don’t, will Hubby be mad at me for bailing out?
    2) Do I want to get a haircut, or grow it out?
    3) Will my duvet cover fit in our washing machine?
    4) Can we cook the turkey that’s been in my freezer for 2 years for Thanksgiving? Or is that a Kaopectate-moment waiting to happen?
    5) Have the cats figured out that I moved their food dish to the basement?

    TJ Reply:

    I can help with exactly one of those. Number 5. Since March, I’ve been living with 4 cats (not mine), and I can tell you – if they didn’t know where their food was THEY WOULD NOT HESITATE TO LET YOU KNOW AND/OR CHEW ON YOUR FACE.

    jen Reply:

    HA! I’ve taken them down to the basement and plunked them down in front of the dish MULTIPLE times now, and even hooked up a little lamp for them… yet they still sit in the corner of the kitchen and CRY like the spoiled little bitches they are. No face chewing yet – or at least, none out of the ordinary.

  8. By hydra on Oct 30, 2009

    “I”m really quiet, I can turn and catch him watching The Gilmore Girls very intently”

    lol. I do that with my husband but with TLCs What not to Wear.

  9. By kestrel on Oct 30, 2009

    5 Things That Are Bugging Me Today
    1. Halloween; specifically, “Trunk or Treat” at my granddaughter’s school. I don’t like having to socialize with people I don’t know and will never see again.
    2. My son’s family’s new dog. I’m sorry, I’m not a pet person, and most definitely not a dog person, ESPECIALLY a big dog (lab/Great Dane mix) person. I don’t appreciate dog slobber all over me.
    3. Alison (my granddaughter) tripping over the power cord to my MacBook 3 times in 10 minutes. Thank Jobs for the MagSafe connector!
    4. Halloween; specifically, listening to the dog go nuts tomorrow night each time the doorbell rings.
    5. Christmas songs in Target the day before Halloween. I think this needs no expansion.

    TJ Reply:

    That power cord detacher thingie has saved Phil’s MacBook more than once.

  10. By Kelly on Oct 30, 2009

    My 5 Favorite Beverages:
    1. Water
    2. Red Bull
    3. Iced Tea
    4. Margarita on the rocks, no salt
    5. Beringer’s White Zinfandel

    TJ Reply:

    I… I don’t understand. I don’t see any diet soda?

    Kelly Reply:

    I overdosed on diet sodas in my 20s. Even now, I shudder when I think of drinking more than a few ounces of soda, be it diet or regular.

    TJ Reply:


    Kelly Reply:

    On the planet I hail from, it is possible to overdoes on diet soda. Sad, but true. And that aspartame stuff they put in it doesn’t taste as good as good old saccharine… to people from my planet. :-)

  11. By Willow on Oct 30, 2009

    5 Things I Will Consume This Weekend:

    1. Vodka. This is consumed every weekend in one concoction or another, and sometimes during the week…one of the benefits of living in Vegas and having no kids.
    2. Wine. With friends while perfecting our makeup and hair schemes for the Fetish & Fantasy Ball on Saturday.
    3. Pasta. This is my absolute all-time favorite thing to eat. Atkins-be-damned! I like my carbs.
    4. Trail mix or trail mix bars. These are consumed mostly when I’m too busy to bother with an actual meal. Hey, they have protein and don’t taste like ass.
    5. Excedrine. As much as I like to play like I am, I am no longer 21…or 20-anything for that matter. And yes, I feel betrayed. :P

    Happy Halloweekend!

    TJ Reply:

    My weekend sounds incredibly tame in comparison. I am starting to feel like an old woman. I mean… shelves. SHELVES.

  12. By jonniker on Oct 30, 2009

    Five things I’m hoping to do tonight:
    1. Take bath
    2. Read
    3. Have a glass of (cheap) wine
    4. Sleep
    5. Sleep some more

    If there were numbers six through ten, they would also be SLEEEEEEP OMFG.

    I’m an embarrassing cliche. Someone get me a Mommyblog card, stat! (Commence vomiting at any time.)

    TJ Reply:

    Everything I have read about babies leads me to believe that I need to sleep as much as I possibly can right NOW. And that it wouldn’t be an unwelcome invention if I were to come up with a sleep bank of sorts.

  13. By Mel on Oct 30, 2009

    5 things that annoy the Hell out of me:

    1. The sound of someone chewing, especially anything crunchy. Specifically raw carrots. There’s a lady that sits near me in the Cube Farm and eats her lunch at her desk, which includes raw carrots EVERY DAY. All I can say is thank God for my mp3 player or the lady might not have any more teeth, and I might not have a job or a spotless criminal record.

    2. Ring back tones. If I want to listen to some too loud crappy quality version of a shitty song, I’ll do it on my own thanks.

    3. When I say I’m from NY and people automatically assume I mean NYC as if that’s all there is to the state.

    4. Tyra Banks and her hand waving in the air, head bobbing, too high on her ugly ass self attitude.

    5. When someone continues talking to me in the ladies room while I’m trying to pee. That’s just wrong.

    That is all.

    TJ Reply:

    One time? I was talking to a girl as we walked to the ladies’ room and I tried to, you know, taper down the conversation as we approached, but she kept talking, and we walked in and went into our stalls and she kept talking, and then? all of a sudden? there were huge fart noises.

    Now, I know these things happen in bathrooms and I don’t laugh at people who have an occasional bathroom noise slip out in the bathroom, but I was like, seriously? You’re going to keep talking to me through that?

    But then it turned out that there was a third person in a stall way down that we hadn’t seen in there, and we had each thought the other was making the noises, but it wasn’t us, it was the other woman, who was probably DOUBLE EMBARRASSED because she pooted over our conversation. Or at least, I know I would have been.

    And that is why you never talk from inside the stall.

  14. By boomer on Oct 31, 2009

    Five white wine faves you really should try:

    1. Willamette Pinot Gris ($12 at Costco…90pts!)
    2. Loredona Viongier
    (Under $10 and like drinking sunshine!)
    3. Apex Yakima Chardonnay
    4. La Crema Chardonnay
    5. Chateau Ste. Michelle Columbia Valley Chardonnay

  15. By Sarah on Oct 31, 2009

    5 things that irk me.

    1) Teenagers who go into the same eating establishment at the same time as me. Okay, I know teenagers have to eat and I’m fine with that. But what I’m talking about are the annoying ones that arrive right after school, the big game, are on a field trip, etc. so there’s a large group of them around, talking incessantly and taking forever to order, sometimes on purpose, and are just oblivious and rude to everyone around them.

    2) Wine. My girlfriend is B-I-G into wine, to the point where I’ve risked openly calling her a wine snob. She’s on a mission to “find one that I will love”. That is, love…not like. Problem is, I’m more of a beer and cocktail person than a wine one and while I have found two so far that I did genuinely like, I don’t think I’m ever going to find one I’ll love like she loves pino grigio.

    3) Traffic lights. While I don’t know for certain if this is true of the entire city of Grand Rapids, MI, I have noticed that from what I’ve seen thus far…the traffic lights here leave alot to be desired. It’s a little thing, but in Tulsa, OK at intersections, you will almost always find the traffic lights have arrows. The ones here don’t. Every intersection I’ve seen (and I’ve seen quite a few so far), you have to wait ridiculous amounts of time for oncoming traffic from the opposite end to move out of the way before you can make a left turn. Of course, my girlfriend and I seem to be cursed with having to turn left alot whenever we go out.

    4) Shoe shopping. I hate shoe shopping worse than anything. It’s taken me WEEKS to find shoes in the past and right now, I need a new pair. Having a size 10 foot doesn’t help me either. I swear, people with small feet get the best looking shoes while everyone from size 9 on up get stuck with what fell out of the ugly shoe tree and hit every branch coming down. What kills me this time is that my old shoes only took me 3 days to find AND were half off. I’m never going to find shoes that awesome ever again.

    5) Picking out dishes to take to Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, I know it’s a way off still but a) We’re having dinner with the girlfriend’s best friend and the best friend’s family and we’ve been asked to bring two dishes, a side and desert. B) Because of who we’re having dinner with and I’m still kinda anxious about fitting in with those close to my girlfriend here, I’m wanting to impress this Thanksgiving but am having a really hard time settling on what to fix for either dish. C) My girlfriend isn’t exactly being helpful because every time we talk about what to bring and mention ideas I’ve had and recipes I’ve seen around the internet, she merely nods and says it sounds/looks cool but doesn’t make a decision, and goes back to whatever it was she was doing before.

  16. By Carrie on Oct 31, 2009

    Gosh, everyone has good lists. Let me see here.

    5 songs that make me incredibly happy.

    1. Caramelldansen (the Speedycake Remix)
    2. Walkin’ on Sunshine
    3. The Time Warp
    4. That’s What You Get
    5. Still Alive (the song from the end of Portal)

  17. By Bernie on Oct 31, 2009

    5 Things I don’t get.

    1. How addicted my chickydude crew is to their phones.(One of then will even check his phone before he gets a cigarette)
    2. Reality TV
    3. Band Names. Have all the good names really been used up?
    4. The news. You would think that if something happened and the news reported it, it would be the same story on ALL news networks.
    4a. News re-enactments
    5. Managed napping for airline pilots on duty.

  18. By Aunt Becky on Oct 31, 2009

    Five Things I Hate About Topamax:

    1) I cannot decide if I am coming or I am going

    2) Wait, huh?

    3) I am nauseous just like I am gestating a crotch parasite, yet I am without child.

    4) It makes my fingers tingle which is as pleasant as it sounds.

    A) I don’t know my middle name any more.

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