Corporate Rah-Rah day.
November 12th, 2007 | by TJ |So, I’m in a bad mood, though I suppose someone is going to make a joke about, you know, how is that different than any other day?
But anyway, I spent the day at our annual company meeting, and aside from the fact that I HATE having my routine changed (different hours than I work, different place, people I don’t normally interact with), I have a few grievances I would like to air!
1. Does ANYONE like corporate trainers/motivational speakers? I mean seriously. Anyone? They’re all so unbearably cheesey, and I constantly find myself wondering, “Just WHO is this crap effective on??” Only to have my question answered later when, in breakout sessions, more than one billion percent of people present raved about the guy.
2. Our managing partner informed us that one of our industry groups is now getting in to blogging, and “we are very excited to be on the cutting edge of this technology.”
>.<
Oh, and also? Our company webpage now gets more than 3,000 visits per month!
Rah-rah.
3. What is it about moving into upper management that makes people forget how much THEY hate icebreakers? No one likes icebreakers. Everyone lives in dread and FEAR of icebreakers. Everyone. No exceptions. Yet, these people, who couldn’t possibly have been management all their lives, suddenly get to that position and decide they’re a brillant idea.
Our ice breaker today, in our breakout session, was breaking up into groups of 6, and coming up with something we ALL had in common.
Leader: Ok, we’ve all been out of the country, right?
TJ: Nope.
Leader: Ok… well, we’ve all been to Disneyland!
TJ: No.
Other Group Member: Well, we all WANT to go to Disneyland.
TJ: *stares*
Leader: Ooookay. Ok, well, we can all agree that at some point we’ve been really aggravated by Partner X!
TJ: He’s my favorite.
Leader: Do you have. A dog.
TJ: … I don’t fit in at this company…
By iLLa on Nov 13, 2007
haha. okay, milton.
[Reply]
By Lance on Nov 13, 2007
Yeah where is your swingline. J/K In a situation like that I would have disagreed with everything they said just to be difficult. I hate Icebreaker Group activities.
[Reply]
By kakalaki on Nov 13, 2007
Man, I come back from being outta town and sick on Monday to lots of TJ goodness. And to tell you what, this post is the best of last several days. I love that Icebreaker convo. I would have started crying if the leader said “Looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays”. Great job TJ.
PS – I’ve given up on the 9:30 club story. I think it will never get finished, so all memory of it has now left me.
[Reply]
By faelanx on Nov 13, 2007
Heh that icebreaker convo reminded me of a conversation with my Uncle-in-law.
“So what sorts do ye like?”
None really, well unless they are tossing each other about and trying to snap limbs.
“*blinks* Huh, well ya a NASCAR fan? You a Stewart or Gordan fan?”
Ah… not really.
“Hunting, now you have to like hunting, right?”
Not unless the deer have rifles as well. Not much sport when you have no risk, well except from another hunter mistaking you for a buck. Now, if you went after them with a spear, that might be more interesting.
*Stares at me*
He’s a good man, we just live in differing worlds apparently.
[Reply]
By Psycho & Chaos on Nov 13, 2007
*Gouges eyes out with rusty spork*
Now that the self mutilation is out of the way. I truly feel your pain about Corp. Motivational speakers(or just about any thing of the nature). 99% of the time its a complete waste of time. Managment does not think to ask its employees what they think will help them be better employees or help the company work more efficently. They always think they have the awnser. Oh and lets not forget the all important. NIH complex of many “Managers”. For those wondering what NIH is (Not Invented Here). Basically if they didn’t come up with it, then its a bad idea and completly pointless. But wait about 3~6 months and you will see your idea come back at you as if it was their idea.
Psychotropic hands TJ a stiff drink of her choice.
Sorry you had to endure that hun.
[Reply]
By Lynda on Nov 13, 2007
LOL! I like the blogging as cutting edge technology.
Who would tell a group that Partner X wasn’t their favorite? I mean, you share these things with the other groups afterwards, right?
[Reply]
By Ratshag on Nov 13, 2007
Personally, I thinks Partner X is a total wanker. And I wanted to go to Disneyland, but it turns out they got a no-battleaxe policy so I couldn’t get in.
[Reply]
By Kinzlayer on Nov 13, 2007
oh that’s rich… btw Partner X is an a-hole. I was so aggravated by one of my many bosses and reading this just made all better. TJ, you’re better then an Advil.
[Reply]
By Xeln on Nov 14, 2007
LOL, that sounds like LOADS of fun. Sarcasm ftw. At our last company outting I seriously hid in a tree and drank all the beer I hauled up with me and smoked a lot. Most people didn’t even know I was there. When I finally came down the didn’t know who I was anyways. Sometimes I love working nights, that way I don’t have to actually socialize with the people I work with.
PS: @ Kakalakia: Don’t give up on the 930 story yet; if you keep badgering her, she will eventually get the story out. Go see how long it took me to get her to finish her “TJ’s Week of Misbehavior” story. Never did get the details on the puppy kicking though.
[Reply]