Can Dogs Burp?
May 7th, 2009 | by TJ |Internet, let me paint you a word picture of sorts. Ha. Word picture. That’s so 8th grade Language Arts.
Anyway, yesterday, it was nearing 4pm, and while I leave soda cans and bowls and such all over my desk all day long, I usually try to tidy up a bit before Phil gets home. I’ve come to terms with the idea that I work all day and he understands that I don’t, you know, clean the bathroom or do the laundry or wash dishes during the day (not that he ever thought badly of me for NOT doing that, I just assumed he WOULD even though he repeatedly assured me that he did NOT. What he says matters very little when it directly contradicts what I think he REALLY thinks). But anyway, even though I don’t get major chores done during the work day, I do try to keep aware of the time to have the office tidied up before he gets home.
Yesterday I was working at a pretty steady pace, but not the frantic pace of the previous few days, so I actually noticed when the hour was approaching. I grabbed the trash bag from the can and tossed a couple of empty cans in it while sitting at my desk, catching up on some forum reading, kind of taking my time, puttering around, finishing my giant water bottle so I could refill it downstairs.
I got all the trash together and grabbed my coffee cup and bowl from my desk, along with an empty cat food bowl (Randy! Don’t even get me started!) and navigated my way out of the room, trying not to step on Brinkley who was laying at the top of the stairs.
All of a sudden, I had to, you know… go. So I did some quick mental calculations – I could get downstairs, toss the dishes in the sink, run the trash out back and get back upstairs to the bathroom, no problem. So I stepped over the dog and went down a step or two and then changed my mind, as I wasn’t wearing shoes and the path to the trashcan has hot cement and rocks, and it would take longer than estimated, so I spun back around and put one leg over the dog and swung the trash bag over his head to turn towards the bathroom.
THEN I figured I might as well run the stuff downstairs and just put the trashbag by the door and the dishes in the sink, because there wasn’t really anywhere to put it upstairs, and I didn’t want to leave a bag of trash in the hall with four cats and a dog to poke at, so I spun around one more time to head for the stairs.
Unfortunately, all of this decision making wasted what valuable time I had left, so I immediately spun back around, whacked myself in the back with the trash bag, leapt over the dog, dropped the bag outside the bathroom door, dropped the dishes in the bathroom sink, and batted the door closed with my foot.
Double unfortunately, if you spin and jump around in proximity to the dog, his little pea brain automatically thinks “PLAY!!!”
Triple unfortunately, my door swatting had not shut the bathroom door all the way, so he immediately nudged it open with his head.
Mortified to be caught in such a position, even by a dog, or perhaps, ESPECIALLY BY A DOG, I shrieked and started waving my arms at him, telling him to get out.
Well, shrieking only means “EXTRA FUN PLAY!!”
He barrelled the rest of the way into the bathroom and jumped up in my lap.
IN MY LAP.
And then? I swear to pete? He burped in my face.
I don’t know if dogs can really burp, but he chased me into the bathroom, jumped in my lap on the toilet, and BURPED IN MY FACE.
Later, he topped the evening off by sticking his head under my dress and hiking my skirt up to my hips. This dog has no care or concern for my sense of dignity AT ALL.
By Luckedout on May 7, 2009
LOL! I really needed that today. Thanks for the great story/laugh!
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By Adlib on May 7, 2009
Yep, dogs burp, and usually in your face (at least always in mine). Probably don’t burp at any other time unless it’s in someone’s face.
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By syrikk on May 7, 2009
LOL! Great story (not to make light of the transpired events).
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By twww on May 7, 2009
Dogs burp and only cats care about dignity, (their own, of course).
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By Awlbiste on May 7, 2009
Cats don’t care about dignity either. This reminded me of this comic: http://idiotcomics.com/046.html My cat is constantly wandering in and asking to be petted (petted sounds wrong) while I’m in the bathroom.
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By Maerdred on May 7, 2009
Yet another reason that Cats are better than Dogs. Cats are always small enough to kick out of your way when caught in compromised positions, such as being ON THE TOILET!
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By Marylin/Softi on May 7, 2009
Hehehe I’m actually giggling here reading this!
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By Laura on May 7, 2009
Awww, he just wants to be your bathroom buddy!
At least your dog doesn’t stare at you when you bath/shower. My dog swears there is a bath monster in there, and will sit there and stare the WHOLE time you are bathing.
I swear, I’m gonna teach her how to hold a plate with toiletries on it.
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By KT on May 7, 2009
Hahahaha! My dog does that skirt thing too. I always thought my husband trained him to do that.
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By Alan on May 7, 2009
Sure, cats and smaller and stuff, but I find them a bit boring compared to dogs.
They can burp, sort of, but I think only the big breeds. Small dogs I’ve only seen sneeze.
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By Kailen on May 7, 2009
My dog just lies in my dirty laundry. I feel like I’m missing out.
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By z-man on May 8, 2009
Dogs can burp, mine like to eat something really fast then sit in front of you and belch.
And yes they like to bother me in the bathroom. Granted I can tell them out when I do want some privacy, but mostly they walk in gently wagging their tails looking for a little petting.
It’s funny, it’s almost like they know that even though you are in attention application range. They will sit there politely like “awww I know, I have the same issue too, but while you are there, why not pet me? It’ll make you feel better.”
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By JGP on May 8, 2009
He loves you, really he does!
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