Bad words.
November 24th, 2009 | by TJ |I just feel like this needs to be said today:
Words I Hate,
a list, by TJ
1. Goodies. As in, “We will be handing out plenty of goodies,” or “What kind of goodies did you get?” Hated even more when used in a singular form: “Please bring a goody to share.” God. Never have I felt more awkward than the two total occasions I have attempted to use the word “goodies” seriously. I also get REALLY embarrassed when I hear people talking about handing out “goodies.”
2. Blouse. What am I, 75? I wear shirts, tops, and/or shirts or tops with buttons. I have a very distinct image in mind when I hear the word “blouse.” Cream colored, long sleeves, button sown, with cuffs that are tight at the wrist and then bell out, and ruffles down the buttons. And a high collar. THAT is a blouse.
3. Moist. Pretty much because everyone says they hate the word moist, and I’m sick of the fact that it even exists so someone can say they hate the word moist every time the opportunity to say a word you hate comes along, which, seriously, is really quite often.
4. Orgasm. One time? When I was in the third or fourth grade? I was reviewing for a science test with my mom, on plants and animals and stuff? And I accidentally shouted the word orgasm at her. I wasn’t embarrassed about it until years later when I learned said word and the incident immediately popped back into my mind, clear as day. I was trying to say organism. As in “What is something both plants an animals have in common?” and I yelled, “THEY’RE BOTH ORGASMS.” I’m dying. Right now. I’m dead from this.
5. Panties. What a horrible word. Who even came up with that? It’s like the opposite of sexy. When I’ve tried to say it, it gets all hung up in the back of my throat. I’m bringing back “underpants.” We say “underpants” in this house.
6. Corporate buzz words. See number 3 above.
Now you.
By Taxera on Nov 24, 2009
The word I hate the most is Ain’t. makes me want to rip my ears off and most people say it are educated.
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TJ Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Good one, and I’m going to add to that one anything that people say to deliberately sound uneducated.
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By shriek house on Nov 24, 2009
Possibly in parallel to #2 above: slacks. Something grandparents wear, usually in a poly blend with a crease ironed down the front. No exceptions.
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TJ Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
SLACKS! If you’re wearing slacks, they definitely come up to your nipples.
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By Nook on Nov 24, 2009
Gurgle. Just saying it makes me want to puke.
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TJ Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Ok, that one didn’t bother me, until I read your comment a couple of times, then kept thinking the word over and over in my head. It really is disgusting.
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Capn John Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Especially when you repeatedly say it very, very quickly. Then you sound like a Murloc…or Galertruby
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By Figworth on Nov 24, 2009
Okay, so, any word for flatulance. It’s either awkward and crude sounding, i.e. ‘fart’, and only appropriate for immature humor moments, or childish sounding. Like ‘poof’ or ‘pass gass’.
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TJ Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
I also wish there was a less crude way to say that, because I have some hilarious stories, yet don’t want to have to use the word “fart” 72 times. Also, I am pretty much an 8 year odl boy when it comes to bodily functions.
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By Kelly on Nov 24, 2009
I wear underwear. I could be talking about the stuff word around the hip and groin area, or I could be talking about the stuff wrapped around the chest. Mostly, I don’t talk about it.
And I had a friend years ago who wrote a song about Moist Towelettes. It was a very bad song.
I hate the word “handbag.” Maybe it’s just the people in this region, but it seems to be used for ANY sort of container a woman carries. A wallet is a handbag, a purse is a handbag, a backpack could be a handbag! It’s a dumb, annoying word… and I think of the black patent leather things my grandmother used to schlep around with her.
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TJ Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
I use “undergarments” as an overall term for all the under clothing business.
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Nona Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Pocketbook. Old ladies carry pocketbooks. That word makes no sense at all. It is neither a pocket or a book.
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Kelly Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Yes! Pocketbook! That’s another evil, stupid word.
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By Pike on Nov 24, 2009
“Carbon” and “Footprint” in the same phrase. (Also: “going” and “green”.)
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TJ Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Whenever I hear that it makes me want to threaten to put my footprint right in somebody’s carbon.
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By Mikey on Nov 24, 2009
I don’t really hate any words but the 2 words that i have found that stir more emotions than anything is 1. “Cunt” (pure show stopper no matter how its used) 2. “Vomit” (easily the most vile word in the english language, just saying it gets my stomach churning.
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TJ Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Good point with “cunt,” I am pretty sure that one is used more for shock value than anything else. I used it once, I think, on this blog, and people acted like I shot the pope or something. The subject was deserving.
Vomit is pretty bad, but I’ve always found “yak” to be much more evocative of bad feelings due to the way it sounds. Like “I’m gonna yak.” It’s just awful. So, you know, I say it a lot.
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Mikey Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Moist cracks me up every time i hear it. It reminds me of that scene in Dead Like Me when George tells her mom “These potatoes are nice and MOIST!” and her mom gives her the evil eye.
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By TJ on Nov 24, 2009
I am commenting on my own post because I totally forgot the word “hubby.”
No. No. No.
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Nona Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Ouch. I am guilty of that one. I write/tweet/talk about my husband often, so I think I use hubby, hubs, etc. to break up the monotony.
My husband’s name is Phil, by the way.
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By Diane on Nov 24, 2009
PANTIES is my number one most hated word. It’s repulsive. It’s too childish to be sexy, but too dirty to apply to something little girls wear. When I hear a woman talking about how her two-year-old is now wearing PANTIES, I want to throw up.
Your description of a blouse was spot on, by the way. SPOT ON.
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TJ Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
You have PERFECTLY summed up my hatred of the word “panties” in a way I have never been able to articulate.
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By Skraps on Nov 24, 2009
hehe panties.
So embarrassing children story in 3, 2, 1,
my wife and I met, she had 3 year old daughter. fast forward 6 years, we have a son of our own. From the time he was potty trained she would refer to his undergarments as “panties”. So by the time he was 4 he was still talking about his panties. It was a tough row to hoe to get him trained to say underware or boxers etc. before he started school.
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TJ Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
When I refer to a man’s panties, I’m usually not about to say something especially friendly.
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By boomer on Nov 24, 2009
1. “Hella” is a word that I have a love-hate relationship with. It’s hella stupid to say, but I’m hella glad it exists because it generally marks people who say it as fellow Northern Californians.
2. “The” when referring to a highway. I.e. The 5, The 10, The 505. Generally people from Southern California do this…and it drives me nuts because I’m picky that way. If it’s an interstate, use “I”. If it’s a highway, say “highway” or just the route number.
3. “Experiment” because that word cost me sooo many spelling tests in elementary school.
4. “Cereal” is a word I hate, but not when it’s spelled “Serial”. Am picky.
5. “Cab Sahhhhv” when abbreviating Cabernet Sauvignon. In an inland northwest accent it sounds terrible, like something you’d rub on your feet (salve) instead of delicious wine. Can we just say “Cab” or “Cabernet” instead? And if it’s Cabernet Franc instead, go ahead and spend the extra syllable to specify.
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Awlbiste Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
I say hella because I have a friend I played vidja gaems with for years and years who lived in Salinas.
I’ve been infected with the hella.
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By Iain on Nov 24, 2009
“sup” and I really hate the phrase “Let me put it this way” because it makes me think they think I’m too dumb to get it if they flat out said it and so they have to couch in analogy.
Phrases aren’t really what you were going with, so I hate “sup” because it’s said with inflection like a statement. You know, like “hello”, but then people expect you to say how you’ve been, how you are, etc. Maybe it’s just how people around me say it, but I hate “sup”. I only use it ironically. “Sup dawg”.
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Jasmine Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
SUP! Oooooooh how I hate that “word”. The last person who said sup to me got the reply “Why are you throwing random verbs at me? Do you want me to eat something? Sup is the act of eating or drinking something in small mouthfuls, NOT a question!”
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TJ Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Actually, I think you’re thinking of “sip” there, but “to sup” does indeed mean to eat, pretty much.
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By Brian on Nov 24, 2009
PENETRATION. Wrong. On so many levels.
Also YEAST. I don’t care that it’s an ingredient for beer. I don’t want to hear about it.
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TJ Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Hm… I am sensing a THEME in your comments and I’m pretty sure that it’s vaginas.
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By Jen_Ann_W on Nov 24, 2009
PUBES. I’ll say “short & curlies” before I’ll say “pubes.” And now my hubby is sitting here laughing hysterically at me. But not as hard as I wanted to laugh when he told me to type “yeast” in HIS comment.
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TJ Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
I don’t think I have EVER used the word “pubes.”
Also… am I understanding correctly that there is a husband and wife commenting, but you’re typing for both of you? That’s hilarious. I’ve tweeted and such for Phil before.
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Jen_Ann_W Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Yeah, Brian was sitting next to me on the couch reading your post over my shoulder, and he was like “ooh ooh put THIS”. But when I try to get him to set up a Google Reader list or Twitter account of his own… “No, I’ll just use YOURS.” Jerk. :-)
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By Lara on Nov 24, 2009
Hate: moist, panties (oh god, I should not have put those together), flaccid and cluster.
I’m breaking all the rules and telling you some I love too: espionage, ecclesiastical and epitome. I love the way epitome sounds yet I hate the way it looks – is that weird?
Also, even though it’s technically a name (and one I wouldn’t name my own child), I love saying “Calliope”.
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TJ Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Flaccid sounds just like it… looks.
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Mikey Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
The order isn’t to bad it is better than flaccid,moist,panties,cluster :P
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By Ahmielyn on Nov 24, 2009
Ok, I know this is a weird one but I can not stand the word ‘cocoa,’ written or spoken. Especially when I speak it aloud IN MY MIND. It just makes me think of some pretentious old hag speaking down her nose at those unworthy of her status. It’s ‘hot chocolate,’ bitch, and don’t you forget it.
My favorite word is ‘leviathan.’ Such a lovely word for such a terrifying thing. The opposite of ‘cocoa,’ which is a terrifying word for a lovely thing.
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TJ Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
You know, now that I think about it, I’ve always found “cocoa” to sound pretty snobby.
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By Angelya on Nov 24, 2009
Discharge.
In no way can it be used to mean anything good.
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TJ Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Good call, I kind of winced a little as soon as I read it.
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By gina on Nov 24, 2009
mucous and phlegm for obvious reasons!
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By Tristan on Nov 24, 2009
Discharge?
You could have gotten an Honorable Discharge from the army?
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TJ Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
It doesn’t matter if it could mean something good, that’s just not what the word immediately brings to mind. Ewww.
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By sister on Nov 24, 2009
I don’t mind the word moist. CHUNK should be on this list.
PS if you come home for christmas I totally promise to act surprised.
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TJ Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
You and mom both need to accept the idea that it’s not going to happen.
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By Dzargul on Nov 24, 2009
Wassup, Sup, Hai, Greetins, Heya, Heydere.
If you can’t go to the trouble to greet me properly, I’m just going to pretend you didn’t mean to…and ignore you.
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By Pookii on Nov 25, 2009
And here I thought I was the only one who felt extremely awkward using the word “panties!”
I love using the word “chones” instead, even though it’s also a bit silly, so I use it only in certain occasions; for example while doing my laundry or speaking of men’s underwear.
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By Bernie on Nov 25, 2009
Some girls can say panties and make it work.
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TJ Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
It’s a terrible word, no matter who says it.
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By Carrie on Nov 25, 2009
My sister-in-law hates the word “lover”, and I have to agree with her on that one. There is no way to work that into a conversation without making things extremely awkward. You might as well just say, “This is so-and-so and WE HAVE SEX!”
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Capn John Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 10:48 am
‘Lover’ is a name to be used in private conversation with that special someone in your life. It should never EVER be used to identify your special someone when talking to someone else.
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TJ Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
EW. I had these hippie roommates who liked to walk around naked and call each other lover. He was 30 something and she was 18 and it was HORRIBLE.
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By Wulfa on Nov 25, 2009
It isn’t a word, it’s longer than a phrase … I can’t stand pregnancy/birthing stories. ALL the women I know are prone to telling me ALL of the details. I tried to not pay attention during my two pregnancies/labors. Really don’t need to know anyone else’s.
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By Kristin H on Nov 25, 2009
“Folk” instead of “folks.” God, I even hate typing it.
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By sister on Nov 25, 2009
Healthy!
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By Angie on Nov 25, 2009
Sorry, I just have to start with I LOVE the word “hubby” – I can’t help it – I just do! It’s just SO wrong, it’s right – perfect, in fact.
ok, that out the way…I HATE the pronunciation of “h” as “haich”! People it’s a a silent “h” – I know! I know! but it is…it’s “aich”…REALLY it is!!
Apart from that, I hate “versus” & love “crap” (go on, just say it..CRAP! could it be any more satisfactory! really!?!)
As for “panties” – over here (being Australia) it’s either “knickers” for the girls (which is seriously a pretty wonderful word to say!) or “jocks” for the boys OR if you want the generic it’s “undies” ;)
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Angie Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 10:09 am
I should clarify – for the male of the species, you’re either wearing “jocks” (only we tend to spell it “jox”), which are the budgie-smuggler type underwear or you’re wearing “boxers” (which are kind of self-explanatory). :)
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TJ Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Knickers is a good term, but I don’t think I can pull that one off as an American.
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Julie Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Knickers always makes me think of the children’s story “Bad Jelly the Witch” when she says “Witchy-poo! Witchy-poo! Knickers! Knickers! Knickers!”. I think, just because it’s fun to read out in a children’s story.
I use “knickers” and “undies” as a kiwi. Panties is… unnatural and awkward, and just feels icky to say.
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By ysabelkid on Nov 25, 2009
“Boyfriend”. But only referring to my own. I don’t know what to call him, but he’s not my boyfriend, I’m hardly likely to tell anyone (or put on a form) that he’s my “sweetie”, and “partner” doesn’t do it either.
Also, “little girl’s room”. I stopped being a little girl more than 20 years ago, and I have no desire to have you accompany me to the restroom for moral support.
“Romantic” makes me want to hurl. Especially a “romantic getaway”. Gah!
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Rhy Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 2:24 am
I totally agree, boyfriend just feels…awkward once you’re past around high school age. I have used it a few times to refer to my current guy, but it just doesn’t feel right. I tend to default to “my sweetie”, because I can’t think of anything better to use.
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By Heidi on Nov 25, 2009
I don’t like it when a women says she’s “preggers”. It irritates me.
And on that same level, when a friend has said “we’re pregnant”. I’ve replied “Oh, really? Your husband/boyfriend/whatever is pregnant, too? I didn’t think that was possible.”
NO! Just say that you’re both expecting a child and leave it at that.
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Heidi Reply:
November 26th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Oops. On my post, I meant “woman” not “women”. I was typing too fast.
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By Dulcea on Nov 25, 2009
I absolutely hate being called a lady. I dunno where I got the stigma from, but in my head, a lady is prim, proper, poised…basically everything that I’m not.
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By T-Sonn on Nov 25, 2009
On a theme… D and I had this problem when we became a couple: what do you call a 40 yr old boyfriend? There really IS no good word. “Boyfriend” sounds juvenile, “lover” is WAY TMI, “significant other” sounds like I’m gay, and “friend” makes me squeamish. Like, “Mommy’s special ‘friend.’ ”
I think that’s the only reason we got married so fast.
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By Jason Doege on Nov 25, 2009
I jumped out of my panties when I spilled some moist goodies on my new blouse because I almost had an orgasm when I heard our latest corporate buzz word; it was that good.
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By Adlib on Nov 25, 2009
I’ve heard several people in my life say they hate the word “moist”. I wonder why that is. I have a question though. If you were complimenting someone on their turkey-cooking skills, would you just say that the turkey isn’t dry or what? I’m just curious, but I guess you could just avoid it all together and say the turkey is good.
I hate blouse too! You nailed exactly what I think of when someone says the word “blouse”. Blech, “panties”. Never liked that word either. We always just say underwear.
Only because these are overused at work…”as per” and “do me a favor”. I know they’re more phrases than words, but first of all, “as per” is pretty much repetitive, right? Shouldn’t you just say “per our earlier conversation”? Also, my boss says “do me a favor” a lot. I just want to scream, “No, we are not friends! I am not doing you a favor! You are my boss; just ask me to do it. Don’t try to couch it in friendlier terms. God!”
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By Em on Nov 25, 2009
I’m right there with you on the blouse, panties and moist. But I have some to add as well:
1.) SNAP!, as in an appropriate thing to say when someone gets the upper hand in an argument. “Ooooh, SNAP!” What the hell does that mean? Actually, nevermind. Don’t tell me what it means because I don’t care – just never say it in front of me again.
2.) Nipple. Not that I get all embarassed when talking about body parts or anything, but this is just a silly sounding word and i can’t take it seriously. So, I don’t use it unless absolutely necessary.
Also, I remember when I was 9 years old. It was Halloween night, and my mom was watching the 6 o’clock news in the kitchen while we got our costumes on. They were showing a clip from a movie and I remember seeing a couple strolling the beach together, and one of them made mention of an orgasm. I had heard the word before but never knew what it meant. So, I asked my mom: “What’s an orgasm?” She instantly shut off the TV and said something about how I was too young to know, and they shouldn’t be using words like that on the news for Heaven’s sake! So, then I knew it was a bad word, obviously. So I said it a lot.
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By Crimsona on Nov 25, 2009
Plox. Annoys me to no end. Pretending to be polite doesn’t have the same effect as actually typing out please
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By Alex on Nov 25, 2009
“Yous” as in, the plural of you. EVEN WORSE is when it is followed by “guys”: “Are yous’ guys coming for dinner?” I can not even punctuate it properly because IT DOES NOT EXIST. “Yous” IS NOT A WORD! Take that, future Mother-in-law.
Another word? Finacee. I feel like such a douche when I say it. To overcome the douchey feeling, we usually follow it up with a really obnoxious fake-French “HON-HON!”
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By Julie on Nov 25, 2009
I have friends that hate “that’s so ghey” and “my bad”. So of course I use those phrases as often as I possibly can.
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By Ellie on Nov 26, 2009
preggers.
prego.
To be honest I mostly hate those words because teen girls use them… describe themselves. I don’t judge anymore, but I truly do hate seeing teenagers pregnant. And if so, they should respect themselves more.
I call my significant other a boyfriend, because we are both young, so technically, he’s a boy, in a way. But to hear older people, like my mum, call her other a boyfriend? That is SO weird. I don’t know what you should call it, but definitely not a boyfriend.
slacks
gargle
vomit
puke
flaccid
vag
wart
pussy
Mostly gross, rude words.
Piss is such a rude word, I couldn’t even describe my hate of it. Using “pissed me off” is alright for me though.
Lover just seems a weird word to use.
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By Kylie on Nov 26, 2009
I hate, hate, hate…
preggers
hubby
bubby/bubsy/bub
Honestly, they are way overused by the bogan population here in Australia, that they just scream trash to me.
Panties I think I’ve only ever used as an insult – ‘Don’t get your panties in a twist’. Knickers or jocks here.
However, I agree with Lara – Calliope is such a nice word! There is a town called Calliope in my state (way, way out west) – I’ve alwasy thought it would be nice to live there.
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By Delicia on Nov 26, 2009
Words I can’t stand:
1. Cunt. It’s abrupt, rude, and crude. It never seems to be used in a nice context, but I admit it’s really funny when my gay guy friends use it as an affectionate insult to each other
2. UR and U. How are these even WORDS?? How hard is it to type “your” (or “you’re” ugh don’t even get me started) or “you” ???
3. LOL. Annoying idiots (esp on WoW) feel that if they spout their purile ramblings everyone will think they are witty if they tag an “LOL” at the end of every statement. “HAHA! I just wiped the raid because I put on Path of Frost as we fell through the floor to fight Anubarak LOL”. Yeah go die in a fire.
4. Twat. ASee #1. This word just is ick.
My favorite word? Dork. I use this all the time as a gentle insult in my family.. it still has connotations of geekiness so it’s almost a compliment.
-Del
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By Laura on Nov 26, 2009
Meds! I hate that one. It bugs me every time I see it written somewhere.
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By Mel on Nov 26, 2009
I can’t believe no one has mentioned the P word, which I find so trashy and offensive and despise so much I can’t even type out. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.
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By Ale on Nov 30, 2009
Circumcise.
Because when I was in 11th grade, I eagerly answered successfully attempt to circumcise the globe instead of circumnavigate the globe in response to what did Magellan do?
The man had many talents and the earth is still recovering from the procedure.
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