I am perfectly willing to beg or bribe you, Internet
August 27th, 2008 | by Phil |[Note:This is a guest post. TJ is in Arizona on business and has not had much time to check comments or read e-mail. She will be back on Saturday. With a story about having to check into three different hotels.]
Hello Internet, it is I, the Person to possibly be named at a later date.
You may be asking yourself who is this guy? Why is he here? Etc. Well, I am the person that has been occupying a great deal of your TJ
By Lucas on Aug 27, 2008
I think… the answer is yes. On one condition… that the Queen of Awesome herself approves :)
But that leads to the question… who on earth could this possibly be? Arizona? Hmm. I must do some researchings.
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By Amanda on Aug 27, 2008
If I didn’t know how communication-savvy TJ is, I’d be all over a “no.” As big a romantic as I am, I have a hard time believing in relationships over such distances But this is TJ, who has managed to create emotional ties to a lot of her readers, to a number of Warcraft players…
You sound like a peach, dear. If TJ wants to make it work despite that distance, I give my blessing. Go forth, and make the lady as happy as she deserves to be.
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By cres on Aug 27, 2008
I knew that’s what this was about! I’m so smurt.
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By Chizn on Aug 27, 2008
TJ in Arizona on business, huh? And you live in Arizona.. Go get her dude! Make her happy!
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By Necrobutcher on Aug 27, 2008
Dear Person to possibly be named at a later date,
As long as you have her home by 11! For serious though, I am all about epic relationships. I also happen to be in one! You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and your heart on your sleeve. Honesty and communication are key and you just communicated your honest intentions to the Internet. That takes lots of guts. Go for it! I wish you two all the best.
Sincerely,
Tom
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By Trackhoof on Aug 27, 2008
Dear PTPBNAALD (I’ll just call you Naldy),
Hey, I’m down with bribes. Whatcha got?
Cheers,
Track
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By Anjin on Aug 27, 2008
Wherever TJ leads, we can but follow. Unless you guys need some alone time. The Internet doesn’t want to be creepy or anything.
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By Pablo on Aug 27, 2008
TJ’s full of win…if you’ve gotten past her shrieky paranoia, then you must be okay.
I was thinking about busting your balls with Dad questions, but then I remembered I have boys, so party on Wayne.
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By Bellwether on Aug 27, 2008
*sniffle*
Nooooes mah Teej!
I suppose. As long as you make her happy. Because TJ > all.
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By ArmsandFury on Aug 27, 2008
Do your best bro! It’s all we can really ask. I am happy for the both of you :)
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By Josh on Aug 27, 2008
Errr… PTBNAALD, when TJ’s blog comes up on my feedreader, it lists an author for each post. Your name is plastered on the top of the post. It starts with a “P.” I dunno if you intended that, but well, there that is.
And, um, what about the whole “awesome new job in the DC area” thing? You moving to the east coast? How attached are you to ‘Zona?
Not that I’m anyone to stand in the way, I’m just sayin’.
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By Doomilias on Aug 27, 2008
my name is doomilias, and i approve. although, ive known about this for a while…and i still approve. in fact, i approved a while ago. but still…i submit, to you, my approval.
also, to amanda…my wife and i carried on a long distance relationship for 8 years before we got married. not that i take offense or anything, im just saying. ldr’s work if both people are commited to each other.
anyway, /doublestemp (which is final because everyone KNOOOWS you cant triple stamp a double stamp)…(but, well…you can touch blue make it true…)
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By Arrens on Aug 27, 2008
@Josh – I noticed that as well just reading it from the site.
@Doom – But can I triple stamp a “doublestemp”? Because if so, I do. Not because I disapprove, but rather purely on principle.
And finally…
@PTBNL whose name is listed at the top of the post – Go get ‘er, man! Just…save some for us, please? We needs us some TJ. Daily.
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By twww on Aug 27, 2008
TJ happiness is important therefore I approve. HOWEVER, TJ herself has said that she has been uninspired for blogging so you’d best be doing some inspiring (in a bloggable way because as Anjin said, the Internet doesn’t want to be creepy)!
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By Josh on Aug 27, 2008
@Arrens
Huh, so it’s on the site too. It’s a little more inconspicuous there, though, since it’s not *right underneath* the post title. It’s off to the side and only on the post’s perm-page, can easily be missed.
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By Kelly on Aug 27, 2008
As long as she’s good with it, so am I. :)
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By vronak on Aug 27, 2008
“Now I realize that the distance could be an issue…” Could be?
I’m sorry, I’m going to have to disagree with most here. Certainly TJ can make her own decision, but this seems to me to be a bit naive, though very romatic.
“I will be the guy that runs up ahead to open the door for her.” No, you won’t. You’ll be 2500 miles away, other than once or twice a year.
“…and hold her as tight as I can when necessary…” No, you can’t. You’ll be 2500 miles away.
“I want a long term serious relationship with her” Oh? Then why limit it to a virtual relationship? TJ deserves the very best, a real man in her real life, to really hold her, and really open doors for her, to really walk with her holding her hand, to really go to concerts with, to really make chicken nugget runs for her. As they say, put up or shut up. She deserves more.
A virtual commitment is no commitment at all.
“I have genuine and intense feelings for her.” Prove it. She just got her dream job, so the onus is on you. Start packing. DC/Maryland are lovely this time of year.
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By Ee on Aug 27, 2008
Wow – harsh.
But if you know TJ wants him to drop everything and pack up and move, you’re right.
I say if TJ is happy, I approve. Commitment is commitment, be it virtual or otherwise. You give a relationship a chance and then work out the logistics as life goes along.
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By GHOSTKID on Aug 27, 2008
TJ happiness = GHOSTKID approval.
Live up to your commitment to treat her like a queen, understand she’s right (even when she’s not), and make her smile every oppurtunity you get. Congratulations to the two of you!
By the way…you are not permitted to turn into an asshat. If you do TJ has legions of us. This is not a threat…just a warning :)
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By kakalaki on Aug 27, 2008
Why you asking us?! We are not her father/mother, ask them. This lame substitution of chivalry is unneeded. It’s like I’m in high school all over again.
.
However, I wish you the best. Love is the most wonderful thing ever. If you two can find that, then I’m sure everyone here couldn’t be more happy.
.
Don’t break her heart though…. or we will find you :)
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By druidchick on Aug 27, 2008
She likes pirates, you like ninjas. Sorry but I don’t think this relationship will work…
Juuuuuuust kidding! xD You sound sweet & u guys obviously click, good luck & don’t listen to the negative pplz!
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By Peloquin on Aug 27, 2008
I am the internet and I endorse this relationship!
(pretend authority is fun!)
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By Grave on Aug 27, 2008
Do Kakashi and Gaara dolls approve?
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By Phil on Aug 27, 2008
I truly appreciate everyone
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By vronak on Aug 27, 2008
@Phil – thanks for the response. I apologize that my post was so harsh, I was a little surprised when I reread it how tough it was… and how protective of TJ I was feeling. Weird. TJ had a post a while back about a less than perfect relationship and I remember thinking back then that she deserved so much more and I believe I overreacted when reading your post. Again, my apologies.
BTW, so far as I can remember, Korea is actually further away from DC than you are now, not closer :p
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By Phil on Aug 27, 2008
@ vronak- no apologies needed. This is why I asked you guys, I know that everyone would only want the best for her because she does deserve to be with someone that will treat her well everyday of her life and do their best to make her happy. I think I am that guy.
Haha, I should have clarified the Korea thing. If I go to Korea there is a very good chance I could get the state side base of my choosing. So I would of course choose to be near her. The problem with that one is that I would only see her once in a year. So then we would have to figure out whether we wanted to see each other every month and a half or so for a few years or only once in a year, then as much as we want.
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By Pablo on Aug 27, 2008
Yes vronak, but I believe it’s considered hardship duty, and they then basically get to name their next assignment, which for Air Force is any number of places in the DC Metro area.
You voiced some of my own concerns actually – don’t happen to have daughters do you vronak?
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By vronak on Aug 27, 2008
@Phil – I knew there was something I was missing about the Korea thing!
@Pablo – lol, no, two sons, one of which is TJ’s age. Strangely protective, weird.
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By Lance on Aug 27, 2008
NAALDY FOR THE WIN
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By Evil Sheep on Aug 27, 2008
From the cynical truck driver to the incurable romantics: Go for it. It may or may not work out, with the long distance thing and all, but you’ll never know until you try.
Just remember, nameless one, TJ has teh intarweb full of friends. Tread carefully ;)
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By Peloquin on Aug 27, 2008
Actually I wish to amend my comment. I fully endorse this relationship, but only if you agree to be known as ‘Naaldy’ on the internet for the rest of your life!
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By hydra on Aug 27, 2008
“Don
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By Stale on Aug 27, 2008
Please send 1k gold to Stale on the Jubei’Thos Oceanic server kthnxbai
But otherwise, Gratz guys… hope it goes well…
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By Khronos on Aug 27, 2008
Stale- we don’t even know if he plays WoW yet. He hasn’t mentioned it! *gasp*
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By Jezrael on Aug 28, 2008
I wish all the best to you both. I think posting your intentions here was very gutsy, as we all know that the internet can be very harsh.
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By Lamaa on Aug 28, 2008
Best wishes to y’all :); and yeah it’s probably a good idea to meet up a few times before making drastic life altering decisions.
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By BlueTiger on Aug 28, 2008
I think the internet has made it’s decision – it’s a Go :) Good luck Naadly-formerly-known-as-phil – Treat her good!
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By Doomilias on Aug 28, 2008
@ vronak – ldr’s are not an instant recipe for failure. like i said, i was long distance with my wife for 8 years before we married. in the last two years i saw her no more than 5 times, total. just because their main form of communication will be the internet does not mean the relationship would be “virtual”. its kinda like when people rationalize away WoW drama with “oh its just a game”. no, its not just a game. there are real people interacting with real people. real people have real feelings. regardless of the medium, that cant be denied. have you ever heard the story of how brk met his wife?
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By Kelektra on Aug 28, 2008
Yay for TJ and Naaldy!
As for the naysayers – if both of them want this to work, and they work to make it work, it’s going to. I met my (now) husband online, we’ve been together for just over 4 years and it’s bliss.
Congrats again on the happiness you’ve both been/will be bringing each other!
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By Endra on Aug 28, 2008
Long distance and internet relationships are becoming more and more popular … and more successful. When I started dating my now husband of 4 years, we had already known each other for 3 years through the internet, but we had only been friends playing a game. We started “dating” but only met in person about 8 months later (he lived in Texas and I was in Northern Ontario). By then I was hooked and we got married 3 months after that.
It was really, really hard at times but I can say one thing: you learn how to communicate. No, you can’t physically hold a person when they are sad, but you can learn how to say words that feel just as good as a hug. I can honestly say that the person I most enjoy talking with is my husband. We can tell from the slighest inflection of voice exactly how the other is feeling because we have spent so much time talking over the phone and webcams. The ability to communicate well helps so much in our marriage and I have never been happier.
So, I wish you both the best. It will be hard and there will be times when it REALLY SUCKS not having the other around, but if it is a strong love, it will survive and you will both be the better for it.
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By Asara on Aug 28, 2008
I believe someone already mentioned this but I’ll say it again.
If TJ is happy, the Internet is happy. :)
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By Kestrel on Aug 28, 2008
If Doom approves, that’s all I need to know.
(And no, Doom…don’t recall seeing that story–BRK & the Mrs.)
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By Hip on Aug 28, 2008
Long time lurker here…I definitely think this is great. Long-distance relationships are much more common now and as it has been mentioned before, it’s easier with the technology available like IM and skype.
I recently entered into a long-distance relationship with someone I have been friends with online for 5 years…he also happens to live in Arizona. It’s definitely hard at times, but we just keep communicating.
Good luck to you both!
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By Doomilias on Aug 28, 2008
“We can tell from the slighest inflection of voice exactly how the other is feeling because we have spent so much time talking over the phone and webcams”
.
absofrigginlutely. my wife and i are the same way.
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By Khronos on Aug 28, 2008
Looking back, I think we all missed a HUGE opportunity here: We commented on the content of the post, but most of us (myself included) COMPLETELY forgot about the title…
What sort of bribes are we talking here?
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By Dylan on Aug 28, 2008
Bribes such as… TJ making a post every hour for 24 hours. :)
/hope
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By Bumwaller on Aug 29, 2008
and if you DO happen to screw up…she has a blog, with huge loyal readership, that she writes lots of stuff on and you DON’T want the whole Internet to know about it.
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By sonvar on Aug 29, 2008
I suppose I could approve but then again I think you’d pursue even if we didn’t. I’ve tried a ldr before and had it fail on me but it was more due to the fact that I don’t think it was meant to be. She was rather clingy in that she wanted to be on the phone all the time and I personally did not like that at all. There were other issues and I could probably write a long story about it but thats the short story of it. My only hope is that if you continue with this that you guys do actually have intentions of going to see each other and not having it be one sided. I wish ya the best and will say that remember anything that happens between you two is potentially going to be blogged.
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By Tufva on Aug 29, 2008
I do not know TJ at all apart from the mentions on BRK’s blog (which is how I ended up here today), but I do know something about long distance relationships.
Sure, it might fail, ’cause it will be hard – but you have to give these things a fair chance. Would you want to sit in your rocking-chair at age 80 and wonder “what if”?
I randomly stumbled across this really nice guy in a chat room on 6degrees.com back in -99 (facebook of the day), we got married last summer after being together for 8 years. When we met I lived in one country, he lived in another. Luckily I spoke English and had always fancied trying out living abroad, so we only had to suffer through around 9 months of a long distance relationship before I took the plunge and emigrated.
Like has been mentioned here in the comments by others, being in a long distance relationship puts down a foundation that I think is difficult to achieve in a ‘normal’ relationship. You end up communicating so much to make up for not seeing each other every day that you get to know each other on a very deep level. My husband is my best friend, the person in the world that knows me better than anyone – he knows all my foibles, quirks and silly secrets. I am biased I know that, but I get the impression that in ‘normal’ relationships you don’t get that depth or at least nowhere near as quickly.
As a sliver of the cloud that is ‘tinternet (even if I am not a regular TJ-er) – I say go for it guys, you won’t know until you try! :-)
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By Amanda on Aug 29, 2008
@Doom: 8 years! Wow. I definitely can’t say it never works; I’m just a bit skeptical in most cases. At any rate, congratulations! And I hope this does work for TJ and the mystery man.
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By Dylan on Aug 29, 2008
Amen
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By Lypi on Aug 30, 2008
Best of luck. I had an international long distance relationship – me in New Zealand, him in the US. We’ve now been happily married for 5 years, and everything is still rocking. :) (Particularly since we actually livein the same country now)
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