As long as you’re not using the archives of this blog as evidence against me, my judgment is IMPECCABLE

August 27th, 2010 | by TJ |

Oh, you guys.

You guys.

Normally I would just share this in my feed reader, but you know what, it’s Friday, and I really don’t trust you guys to click on the links I put over there for your on the right.

Seriously, are any of you clicking on those at ALL? What is it? Is it that you’re lazy, or you just don’t trust my judgment about what you should read? Because I’m lazy, so I can get behind it if it’s that you’re just too lazy to click over and read the items I carefully select for you each day. I mean, I think it’s a crock of shit, but I can get behind it if that’s how you want to be. But not trusting my judgment? Come on, don’t be such ass candles.

I have something amazing to link for you today.

When I do link it for you, I want you to do me a favor and go ahead and click.

I’m linking this to you because I’m a giver. I COULD just have left it over there in the shared articles section, but I wouldn’t want you to have to STRAIN YOUR EYES by shifting them slightly to the right. And the way I phrase it! I let you FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF by doing something as simple as CLICKING, acting like you’re granting me some huge boon.

WELL, YOU’RE NOT.

I am the one who is doing YOU a favor.

ME. FAVOR. YOU.

Not the other way around.

Anyway.

Anyway.

Wind up your good clicking finger and do me a favor and click over and read this post by Steam Me Up, Kid.

If you haven’t clicked yet, if you’re still hesitant about my good judgment, if you think I would send you down some black hole of Internet suckitude (I only do that on Twitter), then here is a little taste to prove JUST HOW WRONG YOU ARE about me, Internet.

Me: Mom. The seam of your pants appears to have violently bisected your vagina. You are strangling your labia. Please, just adjust your junk. Tuck in, or shift the seam over and ride sidesaddle for a bit. I’ll even do it for you if you gimme a sec, I think I can find some sort of utensil, like tweezers or something, for discretion.

Seriously.

Steam Me Up, Kid. You want to go to there. Now.

4 Responses to “As long as you’re not using the archives of this blog as evidence against me, my judgment is IMPECCABLE”

  1. By avasmommy on Aug 27, 2010

    OMG, Thank you for that.

    [Reply]

  2. By DDStL on Aug 27, 2010

    Do you KNOW how hard it is to stifle belly laughs in a cube? That darn near made me pee.

    [Reply]

  3. By Delicia on Aug 27, 2010

    Heheheheh same here DDStL, *exactly*.

    I sent this to my husband, who now tells me he needs to wash his brain because trying to imagine his mom saying that apparently sullied it.

    [Reply]

  4. By Chaninn on Aug 27, 2010

    Awesome! Thanks TJ, laughs are always welcome and clicks are a great way to laughs. =)

    [Reply]

Post a Comment