Temerity Jane

What BLURPLE looks like.

“I can’t do BlogTV because my hair is blurple.”

“I can’t come to your Super Bowl party, I have blurple hair.”

“Oh, I’d totally love to help you move, but I’ve got a serious case of blurple.”

If you’re intrigued and looking to find matching paint chips so you can do up your house in a similar “Yeah, I stopped giving a crap” fashion, you may also be able to find the color listed under “WTF” or “Someone Please Get This Woman to a Salon.”

The Fel Bangs, not pictured, are an as yet unnamed color that resembles nothing actually found in nature, on this planet and possibly others. A white-blonde with the vaguest purple tinge. I’m thinking “Recently Exposed to Radiation in Excessive Amounts” or possibly “No Wonder Your Mother Sighs Every Time She Sees You.”

Posted in Wait, what? | 13 Comments »

Awesome things for you to read and do and see…

… to distract you from a largely contentless post.

(You’ll thank me tomorrow, around 3pm. Everyone knows that Wednesdays at 3pm is when time slows down to an impossible crawl and you’d give the left side of your ribcage for a nap even though it would mean that you’d be walking around with half your chest caved in for the rest of your life and having to be really careful in crowded situations so as not to squish your lung and have to dramatically stab a giant needle into yourself like they do on TV to reinflate it, thus totally grossing out everyone around you even more than they were already grossed out by your oddly sunken chest and possibly ending up with not only a sunken half-chest but also a whole left side full of giant needle holes as you have not the good sense to stay away from crowded situations since you gave up the left side of your ribcage for a nap that one Wednesday afternoon at 3pm. THAT’S how bad you will need this on Wednesday afternoon at 3pm.)

(You’re WELCOME.)

10 Bizarre Deaths in History
- Basically, Internet, if we can learn anything from history, it is that 1, stubbing your toe always has and always will suck and 2, wear a coat.

One Lucky Guy
- Someone, please, for the love of God, be that obnoxious person who announces that this is a total photoshop, so my heart can crawl back down from where it is clinging to my tonsils for comfort.

My possible future
- This is pretty much the outcome I am imagining that will come from me meeting Phil’s family in two weeks.

Handmade Valentine’s Cards
- One of the downsides of being in a relationship is that I do not think he would find receiving one of these cards nearly as funny as I would find giving it to someone.

Remind you of anyone’s mother?
- Hint: mine.

Perspective game
- I like this one because while I have absolutely no talent for it, I actually do get the hang of it the more I play. My record so far is a pathetic 19 images.

Caps Lock Trainer
- I’m too hardcore to get any use out of this. I use the shift key exclusively. Read back through a few months of the archives here and you’ll see how amazing I truly am.

States placement game
- I apparently have shamefully little knowledge of anything that isn’t the edges.

Free Information Society
- If the pearls of wisdom I’m doling out here daily are for some reason not ENOUGH for you, I SUPPOSE you could find something of interest here.

How TJs like to do things
- So efficient. So clear cut. Impossible to misinterpret. So easily fileable. That is my style, right there.

What’s Your Weather?
- Music channels sorted to suit what the weather is like. It’s actually remarkably fitting, the couple of occasions I’ve tried it.

Spin the Black Circle
- THIS GAME IS DUMB. DON’T PLAY IT. IT’S SO STUPID. (Translation: I suck at this, therefore must declare to hate it.)

Font Conference
- I don’t like the way this ended up. Comic Sans was taken WAY too seriously.

FAIL
- Okay, totally 2006 of me, but FAIL pictures just never get old. For me. And this is my website. FALL IN LINE, PEOPLE.

Same as above
- Never! Gets! Old!

Escalators
- They don’t just pose dangers to TJs.

Posted in NaBloPoMo, Wait, what? | 6 Comments »

Be honest now.

Click this link, try this “Idiot Test.”

And be honest with me, how many times did you have to start over from the beginning?

(I am not likely to believe you if you say none.)

Posted in Wait, what? | 39 Comments »

Settle This III

Doom: that would be dope
TJ: …. no you didn’t.
Doom: no i didnt what?
TJ: what you said
I know I was halucinating
and you did not actually say “dope”
Doom: yeah i did
you said rad
i said dope
same time period
TJ: There is no comparison
Doom: there is too
TJ: There is not.
Rad is a perfectly acceptable word.
Doom: is too, and i can prove it
TJ: Do so, then, Doomilias. DO SO.
Doom: dope is also perfectly acceptable
TJ: It is in no way acceptable.
Doom: rad and dope both became popular during the 80s
however
in different social groups
rad was more of a white people saying, and dope was more street, more hip-hop
i, doomilias, being entirely street and hip-hop beyond belief
can say dope
TJ: Wait
wait
I can’t
I can’t get my breath
The laughing, it hurts
Doom: shall i go back evenfurther and start using “ill”
yo homey that shit was ILL!
TJ: The thing is, Doom
While both terms may be couched in similar history and evolution of use
Today, in 2008, the use of the words “dope” and/or “ill” is not acceptable
While “rad” continues to be an appropriate expression of things that are rad.
See? You can’t even define the term without using the term.
That means that “rad” continues today to be an integral part of the American lexicon.
Doom: actually
rad is not really “acceptable”
rad is 80s
its not even 90s
rad is not cool anymore
TJ: Right, which is only more of an argument FOR rad
That it has endured the test of time.
Doom: in your brains
maybe
but the rest of the world has moved on to better sayings
TJ: Certainly not “dope” and “ill”
Doom: i dont use dope
or ill
except for this conversation
TJ: Because you know they’re totally inappropriate
However, I use rad multiple times a day.
Therefore, I win.
Doom: no, therefore you lose irl

Posted in Settle This, Wait, what? | 30 Comments »

A question for everyone.

1. For the science types.

I left some 20 oz bottles of diet soda in my car last night. And I didn’t have any in the house. So I went like, 8 whole hours with no diet soda intake. Very eager to get to my diet soda this morning. It was very very very cold outside and I was sure it had frozen into diet slush in the night, but when I got in my car and grabbed one, it was still liquid. Yay! So I opened one up, took a sip, set it in the cupholder, looked away for a second, looked back, and all of a sudden it was all slush. What, may I ask, the hell?

2. For the married types.

What do you think about this Dear Prudence question? This is what single people wonder about, you know.

Dearest Prudence,
My wife and I have been married for a little over a year, and it’s been absolutely idyllic, except for one problem: Since we’ve wed, my wife has taken to belching and farting all the time. We dated for several years before we tied the knot, and I heard her pass gas only once. She turned beet red, laughed hysterically, and then cried out of embarrassment. I can’t believe how much she’s changed. Now she’s at the point of rippin’ ‘em several times a day without much acknowledgment at all. I’ve had several gentle discussions asking her to dismiss herself into other rooms, try to “keep the magic,” etc., but these have all been met with hostility and resentment. Not only that, but the problem only gets worse after we talk about it. It’s gotten to the point of severely impacting my sex drive. I would think she would understand; the one time I let one go, she got mad at me for killing the romance! Any suggestions?

You can see her answer here.

3. For the WoW people.

Why do I not see an influx of new warlocks in AC in response to our recruitment efforts!!

4. For the people who only come here to laugh at me.

Would you be interested to know that I did this again this morning? Ever since the last time, I’ve been extremely aware of what my hands are doing when I get out of the car in the morning, but I must have been distracted for a second today and let my guard down. You know, my guard. The one I use to protect me from my damn self. Anyone looking for a career change want to take over the job?

Posted in daily BS, Wait, what?, Yeah, I play WoW | 34 Comments »

It’s more of a melange…

Fio is not the only whacked out one in our guild. And no one is whacked out in quite the same way as anyone else.

I give you Doom:

TJ: I guess you’re more evolved than I am.

Doom: That’s impossible.
I’m still an ape.
You are a graceful chicken nugget.

Well, yeah, I guess he has a poi– wait, WHAT?

Posted in Wait, what? | 9 Comments »

BULLETIN!

We interrupt this return to not posting on the weekends to bring you this important TJ Was Right Message:

Read this and then try, just TRY to tell me I’m wrong.

Posted in links, Wait, what? | 5 Comments »