If you follow my Twitter stream at all, you might be familiar with my fake internet boyfriend, Rhys Wynne, from The Gospel According to Rhys. You’ll have to get your own fake internet boyfriend, but I am lending you mine for the day. See if you guys can be helpful, as he is preparing to come over here to the US for a little while and seems completely ignorant of what makes a good french fry and how to properly curse out a rude American.
I expect to come back to you myself shortly and things might even be a little bit different when I do, so thanks for your patience while I sort some things out.
*****
Hello TJ readers! My name is Rhys, and – despite being TJ’s scary fake internet boyfriend, I’m also a six year blogger at The Gospel According to Rhys, and the owner of Shagablogger.com, the world’s first blogger dating site.
With that said, I am from the UK, and – by the looks of this (and I am assuming) a lot of you lot are Americans. I am heading to the States at the end of the month. As a result I’m examining the differnce between proper English, and American English, so I don’t look like an utter pillock.
Chips
You see, for us, chips are the warm potato sticks you call french fries (ours are thicker, but that’s a three pint storey). We call what you call chips crisps. Which makes sense, as – unless you get rubbish ones – they make a crisping sound.
Beer
A contentious issue, what you call beer (Budweiser, Coors, Miller, the tasteless gnats urine basically) we can call beer, but technically most people call it a lager. And you should try the Belgian stuff, it’s ace. Beer, as in traditional beer in the UK, is a lot darker, a lot bitterer, and a lot heavier than lager, which was originally a girls drink, but now men drink it to get pissed.
Pissed
Yes, pissed. Pissed doesn’t involve being angry, pissed is our word for drunk. Either way, the sentance “I was so pissed I smashed a chest of drawers” has the same result, even though the method of getting there is the same.
Gas
I’m not sure what you call our Gas. We call your gas (the stuff you put in the car) petrol. And stop complaining about prices – we pay $10 a gallon. But what do you call our gas? Gas for us is the stuff you use to heat up an oven.
Wanker
The greatest word in the English language. Fact. Brits will try to get anybody with an American accent to say it. It is the equivalent of “fuck”, and is worse than the c-word in terms of swearing. A wanker is somebody who…ahem…pleasures themselves. Wankered is another word for pissed too.
There’s more, but those are all I can think of. If you’ve got any questions to ask a Brit, feel free, I’ll answer as many as I can in the comment.
*****
Go visit Rhys, add him to your feed reader, and what the hell, join Shagablogger, too. I did – I don’t expect to… er… shag anyone, but Americans are sorely underrepresented.
This morning’s post was written by Dammerung from over at Two and a Half Orcs. I’m a little caught up with some work and real life stuff lately, and he was kind enough to send me a pre-made post as I can’t really promise to come up with anything myself today. Thanks, Dammerung.
Ok, so, if you read World of Warcraft blogs at all, you know who Sonvar is. He’s an extremely dedicated commenter and really gets around. Yet, he has no blog of his own. So today I’ve offered him mine to speak directly to you, Internet. He wants your advice, and as he’s been such a great commenter all over the WoW-blog world, I expect plenty of people will return the favor to him.
*****
Hello Internets,
You may recall me from my constant comments around many blogs linked to this.
This is not TJ. Not even close. We’ve been delegate to let you all now that TJ is alive and not blogging, but still cares enough to let you, her rabid and delusional audience, that more TJ-Hilarity is just around the Tax Deadline Corner.
You guessed, she’s still working. She’s flustered, she’s sleep-deprived, and she’s been wasp-stung. It’s up to us to provide some TJ Awesome Entertainment, Or Something Similar. We are totally up to the challenge!
Who are we? Oh, we’re BigRedKitty and we have a little World of Warcraft blog that you may or may not read. Whatever, you’re here for some TJ Goodness, yes?
First, some traditional TJ-BRK banter:
TJ: ok whatever, I’m working, I’m flustered
BRK: go work
i shall entertain the TJ Troops
TJ: I have been back and forth between work and babysitting for days
AND?
WHEN I WAS HOME?
I got WASPED in the night
right on the elbow!
about a billion times!
BRK: left or right?
TJ: left
BRK: your Out The Window While Driving elbow??
TJ: I don’t put my elbow out the window while I drive
it doesn’t reach
BRK: OK, you can NOT say your elbow doesn’t reach the driver’s side window
And still declare yourself Normal-Sized
TJ: not enough to go out it
While we’re ransacking the TJ Abode, we’re going to do a quick reconnaissance of the place. No, we shant invade any lady-like things like the laundry or bathroom, for that would be unchivalrous.
But short-sheeting the bed, that’s totally fair game. Done.
OH! The entire purpose of this was that she was concerned that the Aura of TJ Awesomeness was wearing off all you people, due to her extreme absence and excessive exhaustion. And when we say tired, we ain’t kidding.
So it’s 48 hours until our favorite petite warlock and taxation whirlwind gets a break and she’s worried about you! We can’t have that, now can we; the girl needs some support!
…
Moral support, you *$&(*!, c’mon on.
Some cheerleaders, some words of encouragement, some warm diet soda, and your good wishes are the prescription to help her survive.
A Comment Conga Line, that’s what we’re demanding, foshizzle.
Today’s post is brought to you by Lamaa, who took pity on me and the stack of work on my desk.
*****
Lamaa’s Hunter Tips on Surviving in a Guild with BRK
1. Spec survival or marksman; you’ll get sick of big red kitties very quickly.
2. BRK’s misdirects always take precedence. If you see yours get overwritten, it’s similar to when the FBI comes in and tells the local police they are taking the case.
3. Go over misdirect targets twice for the old people.
4. Turn volume down in vent during battlegrounds to avoid massive quantities of sustained angry screaming.
Ok on a serious note, playing with BRK, TJ, and the rest of AC is truly unique and enjoyable experience. There is a real sense of friendship between players and the level of maturity, respect, and humor is much more than you could ever expect from an online game. Lamaa’s herd merged when AC was still working on Kara and the transition to 25 man raiding has been extremely fun.
I didn’t quite realize the web popularity of our guild when my friends and I first joined and it has been growing more and more. As one of the quiet guildies who doesn’t blog or say entirely too much, it can be pretty interesting and a bit overwhelming, but the camaraderie and leadership has always functioned in such a way that everyone feels the <3.
Anyway, TJ is busy doing my taxes for WoW gold today so I’ll be happy to answer your questions, as my day job not quite as busy as TJ’s.
You were all quite well-behaved, and thank you soooo much to Cay & Doom for taking over for me for a day to keep my pack of jackals occupied.
(That’s you guys. You’re the pack of jackals. But you’re my pack of jackals.)
(<3)
So anyway, I am totally wiped out. That deadline is definitely the most brutal of the year. You’d think it would be the April 15 deadline, but that’s not as bad – it’s more drawn out, we have more of a good rhythm going… I’ve been through 2 of those, heading for the 3rd, and I’ve never before had to work on a Sunday. Starting in about February, I’ll be working weekends again, but only 9 to 2 on Saturdays, and only for a couple of months, and really, it’s not all that bad.
Let’s hope I find a new job before then, anyway, though.
Hi. This is Squeekie, and TJ has given me and Doom power to write here. To offset some of the anger (justified, mind you) that came from the Doomster, here is a bit of fun.
I haven't found a convenient, easy to update method of displaying a list of links to all of the blogs I read, nor am I interested in getting all wrapped up in the politics of who is listed and who is not, so here is a link to a single blog that I do, in fact, read, to be updated randomly and completely at my own whim, for no particular reason or reasons I DON'T FEEL I NEED TO DISCUSS WITH YOU, INTERNET, but you can rest assured that I would not maliciously steer you wrong.
Hello! I'm TJ and this is my blog. The picture is a joke, get it? Because I'm INSIDE the INTERNET?
I'm 30 years old and I live in Arizona with my husband and our two big dogs. I've been married for just over a year, and we have a 7 month old daughter named Penelope. You can do the math. It's okay. We don't mind.
Read my stuff. You'll like it.
I know that at some point, this section of my site will be out of date. I promise you in advance, I'm aware of that.
