Archive for the ‘Bloggers who aren’t me’ Category
Monday, October 26th, 2009
A while back, I talked about your credibility as a blogger, and one of the ways you could hurt it.
I wrote a story about someone who lied and blogged about an email he had received – a lie easily discovered. I kind of half-heartedly called him out on it, and let him believe that I bought his shoddy cover story. I was already weary of this dude’s lies. Tired out. Exhausted. No longer giving a crap. This guy lied and lied and lied and lied so much that one day? When he admitted to me that he was a pathological liar? He told me he was in therapy for a liar and was on Step 9 of his recovery, making amends.
Dude LIED about LYING.
Like I said, I was over it. Done with it. But still, affected by it. Why? Because I’d watch him post story after made up story on his blog for his 3 or 4 readers. I knew they were made up, his readers didn’t. His [admittedly very few] readers read his stories and commented and interacted with him based on these stories.
Why would that bother me, you might think? You might use one of these two lines:
1. It’s not like it hurts anyone, or
2. It’s JUST the INTERNET.
First of all, if you believe, TRULY BELIEVE either of those two lines, then this post isn’t for you. These things don’t hurt you, and to you, it IS just the Internet. So for you people, here is a link to a video of Phil singing the Bender song.
For the rest of you, I continue.
Now, if you have known me for any length of time, you know that I have a habit of coming up with elaborate and outlandish theories and principles and manifestos (er, you’ve read the blog, right?) to explain and translate my general world. There’s the silly – like toothbrush theories; the kind of silly but actually extremely sound Tom Hanks Theory of Life (which anyone who has ever spent 5 minutes around me in person has been thoroughly schooled) and then the serious, like today’s.
Though this is lifted almost word for word from an email I wrote a few days ago (if you don’t have a squawky baby, you can ignore that part), I hesitated to post it today because to many, it will be very clear that this was inspired in no small part by Nicole at My Bottle’s Up, and she did post a new explanation tonight.
Obviously, there will likely be a lot more posts and Tweets on this topic in the coming days, as the explanation people were waiting for, or, more accurately, the APOLOGY people were waiting for, didn’t come. Instead, a not so subtle chiding – how dare we believe evidence. While I hesitate to be a bandwagoner, there probably will not ever (I hope) be a more appropriate time to talk about the very real cost of lying to your readers.
*****
I hate lying in blogs. I HATE it.
I know it’s stupid, and I know we’re supposed to all be the bigger people, because “come on, you guys, just let it go. Who is it hurting?” but I HATE lying in blogs and I’m going to tell you WHY, because you have a baby and thus are my captive, because I do not speak in squawks and shrieks and demands, which is totally refreshing when you spend a lot of time around babies.
I hate lying in blogs – no matter how many people say to ignore it and that it’s not hurting anyone – because it is insulting and arrogant.
When you make up a story and post it in your blog, you are making one of two assumptions:
A) you are smarter than 100% of your readers and can pull off such a lie, and/or
B) you’re so popular and talented that your audience is completely moon-eyed and would either never call you out or is too nuts for you to realize you’re blowing smoke up their asses.
I do not LIKE to be insulted like that. I don’t like to see OTHERS insulted like that. Screw the whole “ugh, it’s just the internet” thing – these are real people making real connections and I don’t care if your lie is about how many people have seen your butt or if it’s as huge as calling out the TSA – when you are revealed as a liar on any scale, trust is broken.
Once you’re a liar, everything you’ve ever said is called into question or reviewed under the pall of your lies. The people who have trusted you ARE wounded and HAVE lost something, may have shared deep and personal things with someone they thought they could believe in, and, internet or not, that BLOWS.
The arrogance and insult to the intelligence of your readers – that’s not “nothing” either. It’s rude and it’s mean and it’s no boon to the community. The actions of one blogger DO reflect on other bloggers – tell me that mommy bloggers aren’t a liiiittle bit more of a joke after the mybottlesup thing.
Basically, what it comes down to is two points:
1. When you lie to your readers, whether it be small or epic, you’re not only telling your readers “I can lie right to your face and get away with it,” but also breaking very real trust.
2. If you are one of the types to drop either of the two lines above, about no one being hurt, or about the transgression not “counting” for as much because this is the Internet, you’re belittling the real feelings and friendships and relationships and partnerships and communities that have grown from so many blogs, as well as blinding yourself to the fact that when one blogger is revealed to be a liar, it reflects poorly on all bloggers. Including, likely, yourself.
*****
Maybe I’ve been blogging too long. A lot of my posts recently seem to be hanging on nostalgia, for the way blogging “used” to be. Maybe I’m too attached to how it “used” to be and not at all in touch with how it now “is.”
Regardless, however, of the state of blogging or the Internet as a whole, lying is and long has been one of the most bold, disrespectful, hurtful and destructive acts any person can engage in. I don’t tolerate it in my real life relationships, so why do I need to look the other way here?
Posted in Bloggers who aren't me, the blogging thing | 37 Comments »
Monday, May 25th, 2009
Finally, I get to tell my side of the story of our new life together. So, we have been living together since March 14th and while it has been wonderful, it does take some adjusting to.
Let’s start with the toilet paper. Now, as we all know, it should go over the top, which is in fact how I have it go. I say “I” because somehow, she has managed to never change it. Not to say that it’s empty, but by some magical force there is always just enough to justify not changing the roll. I made mention of this the other day and we jokingly argued about if she had ever actually changed the roll. She said she had and I disagreed, but she won the argument. You see, I came into the office from outside and saw her just laughing away. That means she was up to something. So having just talked about this whole thing I immediately checked the bathroom. I found an empty roll with “I did this on purpose” written on the empty cardboard.
The office: Well, it’s very cramped in here, but it is arranged the best way it can be right now. Unfortunately, with our backs to each other, there are occasions when we bump into each other. I try to give her as much room as possible; however, she requires more space to feel comfortable than I. For instance, when she is playing Guitar Hero, she faces the TV and that means that I have about 3 inches of space to use my computer. I just try to stay very still and pretend I’m not here, I find that to be the best way. When we move I am so buying her a Lazy Boy recliner and giving her the living room. I think that will be enough space.
Sleeping: I have never had a space heater before, but that’s exactly what my girlfriend is. Now, as you know, we live in Arizona and it gets rather hot here. I tend to be a bit of a cuddler and that presents a problem when my girlfriend could heat a small home in Alaska, in the winter. So with AC blowing and ceiling fan on, I lay right next to her. I have no idea how long I actually stay like that. But I know when I wake up I am on the other side of the bed with the sheets thrown off. I will say that the sleeping arrangements are probably more annoying to her. I tend to rock in my sleep, I have always just done it and I have no idea why. I also apparently snore very badly, that will hopefully be fixed next week when I get a laser shoved in my nose.
Living with someone is all about compromise, but honestly I have not compromised much. Though we are currently in a cramped space, that will change and in a way it’s more romantic. All I have to do is swing my chair around and I can get a hug or a kiss. I may have been teasing a little here, but I would not trade my current situation for anything. TJ is funnier than you can imagine. Her new thing is to take my hat in the morning and run outside when the garage door opens and run back and forth in front of the house, with arms a flailing. It’s about the cutest damn thing in the world. No matter how stressed I get at work, I know that when I come home I have her there to instantly put a smile on my face. She is funny, we are funny together, and we are happier than you can imagine.
Posted in Bloggers who aren't me, daily BS | 14 Comments »
Thursday, April 16th, 2009
Today, when I woke up, there was an email in my inbox from Boomer, who is probably tied with my friend Brien for longest-standing reader of my blog, considering they both read the previous incarnation back in… 2002 or 2003 or something? I’m not sure. It was a long time ago. Anywho, so I got this email from Boomer:
“…remember when I said i was gonna do a guest post? and you said you’d let me, maybe? here ya go.”
I think he said that about a hundred years and four days ago, and it finally appears today. So please, enjoy some Boomer (my own trivia: Boomer was the one who encouraged me to inquire whether Amalah still needed a babysitter for one Mr. Noah).
A list, by Boomer:
20 inane bits of Trivia (and some stuff I made up) useful (or not) for your everyday life:
- The ‘doink doink’ sound on Law & Order, L&O: SVU, L&O: Criminal Intent and L&O: Tylenol PM contains, among other sounds, a recording of monks stomping their feet. Unrelated: Law & Order is approaching the cult status of Star Trek. Thank goodness L&O fans leave the house more.
- Jim Lehrer admitted being boring on The Colbert Report for April 15th, 2009. America was already watching Adult Swim.
- She-Ra and He-Man: not just brother and sister…twin brother and sister.
- Bobby Brown played a doorman in Ghostbusters 2. I’ve met an inordinate number of people who claim that the Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack was their first cassette or CD.
- What’s with all the passive-aggressive language these days? I think it makes you sound weak or like a jackass. Just say what you want to say. Because when I respond, and it’s all aggressive and not passive, you’ll wish you had.
- Not only do I read TJ regularly, I also spend time at The Best Page In The Universe.
- One time, I bought a package of M&Ms made with extra-large peanuts. I think they were called M&Ms XXL or something. In condom terms, the Magnum of M&Ms. Now I can’t find them anywhere, and I wonder if they even existed.
- Alton Brown is the franchise player for the Food Network since Emeril left…but thanks to Bobby Flay and Guy Fieri, it’s hard to watch.
- Last Sunday was the first Easter that I can remember without chocolate. That’s a tough tradition to break.
- Tradition is what you do when you can’t think of a better way.
- Auto-direct-tweets from a marketer or a brand: the most flagrant advertising violation of 2009 so far.
- Episodes of The Simpsons that feature Lisa Simpson are the worst, because she’s inherently not funny.
- It wasn’t funny when South Park made fun of Carlos Mencia, because he’s not inherently funny either. He’s just a nice guy with a few jokes, who appears to have become a comedian at the urging of friends and family.
- Which is why I’m skeptical if my friends or family tell me I should try something professionally, “because you’d be good at it!”.
- Food Hacking. Apparently it’s a real thing.
- Does anyone else feel induced guilt after reading Post Secret? Even if the secrets have nothing to do with you?
- I don’t recommend the E! show “Hot Girls In Scary Places”
- Let’s all pretend that the “Teabag Protests” were deliberately named. And that the protesters got away with the most flagrant use of inappropriate slang since Lil Jon introduced us to “skeet skeet”. It’s more fun that way.
- This Space For Rent.
- You might be a good blogger. I might even read your blog. But chances are, if you’re a good blogger and you also podcast, your podcast probably sucks and I don’t (and won’t) listen. If you’re a good blogger, and I don’t read your blog, you should link it in the comments because I need more blogs to read. But not if you also podcast.
Posted in Bloggers who aren't me | 10 Comments »
Tuesday, September 16th, 2008
Hello Internet,
My name as far as you’re concerned is Noelyci but everyone calls me Noel, mostly because nobody can figure out how to accurately say that awful collection of consonant’s and vowels. I was lucky enough to meet TJ and the rest of the Antharia crew lately and TJ asked me to guest here to tell you all about it. So after hyperventilating for awhile at the idea that the audience for her blog was O, about 100 times mine, I sat down and typed this out. O…. if you want to help me feel good about myself, you can read my blog too, it’s over at www.ingmanndesign.com and it has nothing to do with anything TJ talks about.
So, I managed to get an invitation to meet the Antharia folks, including TJ, and we all went to lunch at a very nice brewpub type place in <un-named East Coast town>. I did my best to try and convince the HMIC (not my HMIC but TJ’s HMIC, at least for now) to let me drive as it was a gorgeous day and my rental car got a free upgrade to a convertible, but to no avail. So HMIC and her partner picked me up and we talked a bit on the way to the restaurant which was very nice. We were the first ones there and waited outside until we saw the purple hair. You see, TJ had refreshed her color and so it was still purple, and it looks better in the sun then in the videos, but HMIC had forgotten to give her the latex gloves so she had once again tinged her hands purple. This was a 5 minute conversation you see, about purple hands. Now, I’m not criticizing, I’m just trying to give you all a flavor of what it’s like to hang out. The conversation was wide ranging, fun, and non-stop. HMIC is younger then I thought she would be, but very smart, very outspoken. Her partner is quieter, but whip smart and insightful. TJ is about what you see here, only better. Developer 1 is just as dry witted and funny as the conversations that TJ has shared with you all. The other Coordinator and her daughter were also very nice. The lunch was all about what they do and how they relate to one another, it’s very fast, very smart and quite a bit of fun. The food was good, the beer was better. As far as what we all talked about, I can’t really talk about that…. yet.
So what’s it like to meet TJ after being a fan? She’s a bit drier humored in person then her writings suggest…. she’s just as awesome, no doubt about that, but the twinkle in the eye is easier for me to see in her writing then in person, then again with the amount of people at the table it was hard to pay attention to just one. Secondly, she and Naaldy are just as sweet as anything she types, and not in a nessecarily good way, I almost went into diabetic shock…. which I have a funny story about that but…. the Internet took away Naaldy’s dating privileges for a night, you’ll back me up on this like good supportive people, I know you will. So… not sure that’s enough information or glimpse, but there you go.
As far as everyone else TJ works with, I like it, it’s loud, funny, smart and constant. It’s like hanging with your friends, or watching your favorite sitcom. and I’m not exaggerating, I wish I’d filmed it, I could make millions selling it to ABC for air right after HIMYM. (Look it up.)
So anyway, there’s my guest post, again, I’m Noel, my blog is www.ingmanndesign.com, it has nothing to do with TJ’s blog, and I hope I can write here again sometime, now since I’ve had 12 hours of sleep in the last 7 days I’m going back to bed.
Clear Skies,
Noel
Posted in Bloggers who aren't me | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, August 27th, 2008
[Note:This is a guest post. TJ is in Arizona on business and has not had much time to check comments or read e-mail. She will be back on Saturday. With a story about having to check into three different hotels.]
Hello Internet, it is I, the Person to possibly be named at a later date.
You may be asking yourself who is this guy? Why is he here? Etc. Well, I am the person that has been occupying a great deal of your TJ
Posted in Bloggers who aren't me | 52 Comments »
Wednesday, July 16th, 2008
No, this is not me coming out of retirement. I’d have had to actually retired first. Where have I been? That’s classified…for now, at least. Only TJ knows, and it SHALL stay that way until I’m good and ready to reveal my exotic travels from then until whence it becomes I am no longer exotically travelling. Or something. Like that.
TJ is busy and she has asked me, Doomilias, to fill in for todays post. So today, Today’s Post, is about a comeback. My comeback? No, I am merely momentarily stepping part way
Posted in Bloggers who aren't me | 12 Comments »
Thursday, June 26th, 2008
This morning’s post is written by Dechion at Be Nameless. Before a co-worker enraged me to the point of furious keyboard slamming yesterday, he answered my pathetic plea on Plurk for someone to come and save me from the omgomgomg no time to write week I’m having.
*****
Hello,
TJ can’t come to the blog right now, but if you’ll leave you name and comments after the beep she’ll get back to you after she is done digging herself out from underneath that pile of paperwork over there.
Beeeeep….
Seriously, TJ is a bit swamped today and as it just so happens I am not so I figured I would drop by and talk about frogs.
Many moons ago my family would get together every year for a Memorial day weekend camping trip. I have no idea why we decided on that weekend. I must have missed the meeting when we discussed it, or I was running errands, or possibly cleaning my room, something. I would have pointed out that in Indiana where we lived at the time memorial day falls into one of two distinct seasons depending on the year. By those I mean the “winter does not feel like being over yet” season or the “winter is over, time for thunderstorms” season. Had I made the meeting I would have suggested either January or July, at least I would have known what to expect each year. Yes I know, what does this have to do with frogs? Patience grasshopper, I’ll get there.
Well the last year we went it decided that it wanted both seasons, so taking the best of both worlds it decided to be cold and wet at the same time. Now this made for a really fun camping experience, really it was great. Being a kid I really didn’t mind it much at all, I actually took my small tent down by the lake and fished right out the door. I was doing well enough fishing down there that I talked my folks into letting me keep my tent there so I would not have to move it to fish again the next day. Well that night it rained, and rained, a long pounding soaking rain that was just everywhere. It rained so hard the seals failed on my parents tent. In an effort to stay dry mom and dad split up. My uncle had enough room for one in his tent and dad went there, mom came over to my little two person tent to wait out the rain.
This is where it gets interesting, apparently mom forgot to zip up the bottom of the door. We both curled up and went back to sleep for the rest of the evening. Well apparently frogs, in this case big bullfrogs, don’t like being both cold and wet. Fortunately there was a relatively warm, dry place right by the lake.
So that is how I woke up with mom losing her mind, screaming so loud her dentures flew out, Warm and dry, in a tent full of frogs.
Posted in Bloggers who aren't me | 11 Comments »
