Temerity Jane

Care to be on the list? And a new comment policy.

Internet, I don’t know if you knew this, but it is REALLY easy to REALLY annoy me. Most times I just roll my eyes and take it out on Phil later, but sometimes I send an unnecessarily rude email to people who are just doing their job. Because that is my right, as an American citizen and as an asshole.

When Phil does something that gets under my skin, or that I wish he wouldn’t do, or that makes me mad, I tell him. Right then and there. Because I pretty much lack the social graces required to be able to approach these things with delicacy and at “appropriate” times.

Let me example it for you. Say Phil does something like, oh, I don’t know, leaves his water glass right next to the sink instead of in it. Upon spotting said glass sitting next to the sink instead of in it, I will say, “Hey!” Once I have Phil’s attention, I wave the glass at him and put it in the sink. You know, to show him that glasses go in the sink. Even though he knows that. But every time I see it, I tell him again. Because it’s tiny. It’s hardly a thing. Do you know what would make it a thing? If every time I saw his glass next to the sink instead of in it, I rolled my eyes, gritted my teeth and silently put his glass in the sink instead of saying anything to him. Then one day, when he finally left his glass next to the sink instead of in it one too many times, I would explode and tear my shirt apart, Hulk-style, and while he was distracted with the brief, hopeful glee of  a dude about to see boobs, a third arm that has grown, over time, directly out of my sternum, composed completely of rage and whatever chemicals make diet soda so delicious, would fling outwards and punch him in the face.

That is why, when something annoys me, hurts my feelings or makes me mad, I say it right away. Ok, so sometimes it is a little blunt, or maybe a little inappropriately timed, but if I keep these things inside, I might grow an ANGER ARM, and I already have enough trouble finding clothes that fit, you know?

Ok, in seriousness, I’m not really worried about growing a third arm. However, not saying something has never made more sense to me than saying something does. At least when it comes to Phil. Because have you met Phil?

He’s all sighs and eyerolls and gritted teeth and stuff. I mean, I appreciate what he’s doing – a tiny issue, like, say, a glass next to the sink instead of in the sink – just doesn’t seem worth a confrontation at that time, so it’s better to NOT say anything right then, because why ruin a perfectly nice day? Instead, it’s better to save up these little issues for one huge ANNOYANCE EXPLOSION.

I think there’s a statute of limitations on small annoyances. And big annoyances. And angries. Because, come on. Come ON. Being annoyed or angry with something is fine, but saving up a whole bunch of little things into one BIG THING and then unloading it on someone who has ONLY DONE some little things doesn’t make sense. It’s just not proportional. Plus, when someone is acting in a way that makes you think that maybe they’re upset at you, they’re walking around all upset and you’re walking around with it hanging over your head, waiting for the hammer to fall and NO ONE is happy.

So, say Phil is acting like maybe he might be a little mad at me or upset about something, I say to him, “Is something wrong?” and if he says, “No,” then in my mind, he has given up all rights to storing up whatever potential annoyance he might be harboring against me for use at a later date. At first, he did not like that, but over time, he’s really adapted to (or been forced into adapting to) that particular way of communicating.

I don’t know if it’s because of that or the fact that we’ve been together for less than two years, but Phil and I don’t actually really fight. I think you can count the major fights we have had on one finger. Which is a trite and cliche way of saying that we have only had one major fight. I think a lot of major fights come from letting little issues (leaving a glass next to the sink instead of in it) fester and grow into huge issues (you don’t care about the fact that I’m trying to keep this house clean, you don’t respect what I do around here, you don’t respect me, etc).

So why, then, if I’m so comfortable letting Phil know when he annoys me (and to be fair, I hope you realize that this is my blog, thus my perspective, and however it may sound coming from a single perspective, Phil doesn’t annoy me any more often than annoyance happens in a normal couple, and I also annoy him to an equal or greater degree), why can I not carry the same practices over to the Internet?

For example, as lightly as I am apparently required to tread when discussing the fact that not all comments are created equal, a certain comments do annoy me. If I’m sitting at the computer and reading a comment that rubs me the wrong way, I have rarely, rarely commented back to say, “did you mean that the way it sounded?” Instead, I roll my eyes and grit my teeth and do nothing. Or, if Phil is here, I turn to him and express my annoyance. In general, though, it’s left to fester. Instead of just handling it at the initial annoyance, I end up blowing up all over someone (not the only person) who had gotten under my skin, like I did last week. Of course, since it was due to built up annoyance, I still continue my blow up justified, but if I just addressed these things when they happen, then blow ups would have been avoided entirely.

Take this guy, for example, who had been sending me the same email every single day for a little while now. Instead of just addressing it right away and declining or asking to be removed from future emails, I just kept reading them. Day after day.

Click to embiggen. And let me know if you want to be added to the list!

I’ve talked to other bloggers and Internet people about the weird phenomenon of feeling required to be polite to everyone, like our blogs are restaurants and we are the servers, where no matter how someone treats you – whether outright rudely or just something that rubs you the wrong way – you kind of have to smile and say, “come back again sometime!” anyway, even if that is NOT WHAT YOU ARE THINKING AT ALL.

I know you can make the “stranger” argument – like say I was in a store and someone rudely ran into me and just walked on without saying anything. Sure, I could say something snarky back, but they’re walking away and it could just cause a thing and you’re probably never going to see them again and it’ just not worth doing more than rolling your eyes and moving on. But I would argue that there’s a middle ground between complete strangers in a store and Phil who lives in my house, and I think the Internet is that middle ground.

I mean, when you think about the Internet as a whole, the blogging community – especially my corner of it – is not especially large. So while everyone I encounter on the Internet doesn’t live in my house, they’re certainly somewhat less of strangers than a random rude person in the grocery store.

So, whereas with a rude stranger in the store, it’s just not worth saying something because meh, it’s over, with my blog, it kind of is worth saying something, I think. Say you leave a comment here and you really meant well, but it wasn’t worded so great or I interpret it in a way that gets under my skin. Isn’t it better that I address it right then and give you a chance to clarify what you said, or confirm that yeah, you did say you think my dog is ugly and you want to stand by that? Especially if the alternative is that I sigh and roll my eyes and put a little black mark next to your name in my head?

There’s been tons of times when I wish I had just SAID something. Instead, on my blog or on Twitter, my responses get progressively more and more cranky until I finally stop responding at all (see: commenters who no longer comment here) or completely block someone from commenting (see: my exboyfriend, who was blocked for a combination of ANNOYING THE FUCK OUT OF ME and, oh yeah, being a pathological liar).

The thing is, as has been demonstrated on this blog in the past, the restaurant server phenomenon is kind of expected. Indicating that not every single comment pleases you is akin to kicking a puppy. Don’t you know that there are starving bloggers in Africa who don’t get ANY comments? So I (and maybe some other bloggers, or maybe I’m insane and neurotic) feel kind of forced into this polite, smiling “Come back again sometime!” role.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I don’t really have any flat out assholes as commenters. In conversations with other bloggers, I’ve often said that it would be easier if the comments that got under my skin were flat out hateful instead of aggravating. I got a rude, mean anon on a Stockholming post – flat out cruel, really – and just rolled my eyes. Because I can’t even take that seriously. It’s those little things, the tiny annoyances that, at that moment, don’t change how I feel about the COMMENTER, but just make me roll my eyes at what was SAID, but build and build and build over time until I am standing on the couch, waving my arms in the air and ranting at Phil about the TERRIBLE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL.

So, after almost 2000 words, I come to the “New Comment Policy” portion of the post. I’m not going to detail the kinds of comments that annoy me, because come on, everyone is annoyed sometimes. It could be tone or inflection or the crossing of an invisible line or misinterpretation or poor word choice or any number of things. No. No details like that.

Instead, this is the entire comment policy: I reserve the right to say something back.

That’s it. I’m not saying I reserve the right to rip your face off or anything like that. In the interest of not letting minor annoyances turn into blow ups, however – I reserve the right to say something back.

There have been times in the past where I have said something back and times in the past where I should have said something back. To people who hurt my feelings, to people who don’t comment here anymore, to people who posted mean stuff about me on other sites and then acted like nothing happened when they talked to me.

Oh, and these people.

How the hell did you “identify” me as a mom blogger? Is it because of the full length pictures? Is that a crack about my weight? Dicks.

Anyway. That’s all. From now on, I reserve the right to say something back.

Posted in daily BS, the blogging thing | 30 Comments »

Did I ever tell you guys I ACTUALLY WON A MEDAL?

A while ago, like a while ago enough that not only do I not remember exactly when, but I don’t even remember exactly what I said BUT BELIEVE ME I SAID IT, I was complaining about the fact that none of you ever gave me a medal, and that you should totally feel free to do so AT ANY TIME.

Well? Right after that? I GOT A MEDAL.

And then I got ANOTHER ONE.

And then someone drew me a picture.

And then someone DREW ME ANOTHER ONE.

AND? You (both the collective you and the person who took the picture) probably thought I forgot about it, but I ALSO got a new “Hi TJ!” picture.

Let me rewind back to the start, I got all wound up when I started thinking about all of the awesome stuff I’ve gotten so far this year that I got ahead of me.

First, after I complained about not ever getting a medal (ok, ok, it was here, in the Delurking Day post), a commenter named Mary went OUT OF HER WAY to give me a medal, and on top of that, she awarded it to me on what is one of the most hilarious things I have ever written (in my mind, at least, and if I have learned anything over these last almost-three years, it’s that very often, what is funny in my mind is not only not funny to you, but also, not even remotely understandable). So, I’m basically considering this one a double award – partly for that hilarious post and partly for overall awesomeness. I’m going to put it in my sidebar with a header that says “Awarded by Mary for both specific hilarity and overall funniness.” Mary, if that’s not what you meant by it, speak up now, but I warn you, I’m probably going to pretend I have sudden onset sporadic deafness and do what I want anyway.

Right after that, I got ANOTHER medal, from Postrank.com. It’s kind of confusing, and even though the PostRank people were nice enough to try to explain it to me, I still don’t really totally understand it but HOORAY FOR ME ANYWAY! So here is a link to PostRank’s Top Blogs of 2009, and do you know who was one of them? ME. I WAS ONE OF THEM. Specifically, I can now say that for 2009, I was the most ENGAGING TWENTY-SOMETHING on the WHOLE INTERNET. You can read about engagement as it applies to blogs here, but the important thing is? MEDAL. FOR ME.

Moving on, I know I already showed you this one once, but it’s on my mind at the moment because I transferred it to the memory card of my camera so that I could print it out so I could HANG IT IN MY HOUSE, but the stupid Kodak thing refused to recognize it because it was in .png format so I couldn’t do it that day so I printed ANOTHER picture instead, which I promptly ruined by leaving it on top of the toaster oven while making a reasonably priced and way more delicious generic alternative pop tart. Anyway. Allie at Hyperbole and a Half made this for me:

Doesn’t it really capture his Wonder?

So then, one time, Awlbiste and I were singing on Twitter. It’s totally possible, believe me. If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I like to sing to and about my dog, and have dragged Awlbiste and several others into the practice. One of the more popular songs was based on Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer and included lines about brushing hair, scares, toilet paper squares and bears. The talented Tami Moore had a shining moment of genius inspiration from the carryings on of Awlbiste and I and vanished into her lair, only to reemerge sometime later with the perfect visualization of one of the lines of me & Awlbiste’s first solid gold Twitter hit (I invented that).

Not only does he look like a comfy chair, she captured the essential Brinkley-ness of his BUH-BUH-BUH BRINKLEY FACE BUH-BUH BRINKLEY FACE.

Lastly, I have not, in fact, totally forgotten about the “Hi TJ!” section of this website. Do you know who has forgotten, Internet? Do you KNOW who has forgotten? You have. All of you. All of you, that is, EXCEPT for Allison at The Irregular Goddess.

I don’t think I ever even told the Internet that I want to be Dorothy Zbornak when I grow up. This picture has layers.

Anyway, Internet, I have sat on all of these things for a long time – a shamefully long time in some cases – but here they are now. And you should know that it’s not just awesome people like Mary, Tami, Allie and Allison who are allowed to take some initiative and share their brilliance.

You should totally feel free to give me a medal as well.

Or contribute to the “Hi TJ!” page.

Or draw a picture of my dog.

Or a picture of Dorothy Zbornak.

Posted in Bloggers who aren't me, daily BS, the blogging thing | 4 Comments »

You can’t get mad at me, because this blog is base.

Edited to add: Things that are awesome – when a totally popular and awesome blogger up for a Lifetime Achievement award even though she is only 5 years older than me and I haven’t even “achieved” making pasta without the water boiling all over the place and then waving a wooden spoon frantically going “UH! UH!” until my fiance somehow handles it yet and who you should also totally vote for links to you five seconds after you write a really bitchy post and you can’t take it down because people already commented and also, you totally mean it even if it is kind of bitchy but it maybe isn’t the best introduction ever to your blog. Can I recommend this awkwardly photographed oatmeal instructional instead? Or? OR? How about a terrifying duck, if you’re into, you know, terror? Basically, go read any other post and then come back here when I’ve kinda grown on you a little and you’re prepared to forgive me for being such a total wench.

*****

There’s a wedding message board I read quite a lot, and, like any other message board, it tends to fall victim, at times, to a lot of group-think and toeing the party line and such. No big deal, everyone’s been guilty of it at some point, on message boards or blogs, where you either agree just for the sake of keeping the peace, or don’t say what’s really on your mind because that’s not the general “tone” of the rest of the comments and you don’t want to stick out.

Recently, however, someone there started a thread I really liked, called “Unpopular Opinions,” where the point was to come out and voice an opinion that you know doesn’t tend to go over well on the board. Since it’s a wedding message board, there was some talk about general wedding stuff, but it ended up branching off into a lot of other stuff as well, and it was pretty interesting. One, to find out what kinds of things people thought were actually unpopular opinions and two, to find out how many people thought the same things as you when you felt kind of alone in your thoughts on a certain matter.

For example – one this particular message board, “you only get one day!” is a pretty popular mantra. About once every week or two, a new poster comes along saying something along the lines of, “is it ok that I’m upset about the fact that my sister is planning her wedding for a month before mine even though I already set my date a long time ago?” Generally, the response is pretty standard: No, you can’t be upset about that, you only get one day, get over yourself, etc. There’s a general refusal to even acknowledge that it’s KIND OF MEAN.

My unpopular opinion, however, is that if my sister attempted to set a wedding date a month before my already established date (of October 23, 2010 IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW), not only would I be upset, hurt, peeved, etc – I would also call her on the phone and say “OH HELL NO YOU’RE NOT.” Yes. I would. But my sister wouldn’t do that, because IT’S MEAN.

Or like yesterday, when I casually mentioned that I think Sheriff Joe is kind of the man and someone (rhymes with… nothing. Wynthea!) totally disagreed. I’m not actually sure how unpopular like Sheriff Joe is, but I’m pretty sure you’re either Pro-Joe or Anti-Joe with very little in between. For me? The dude makes jail way more jail-like and if you drive around signs warning you that you shouldn’t drive around them and then need to be rescued, he makes you PAY FOR YOUR OWN IDIOCY. Come on. Among other things, of course, things that have gotten him much more media attention. Things, to be honest, I really have a pretty hard time finding fault with. Sheriff Joe is kind of a badass and I am pretty pro-Joe.

Or how about blogging? I don’t think that bloggers and writers are necessarily the same thing, and I think what keeps them from being considered the same thing (by me) is how some bloggers seem to have some kind of self-blogging-hatred, in that when they want to be considered a writer, they step away from their established “blogging voice” and into some voice that doesn’t quite fit. Like putting on mommy’s high heels because you think that’s what makes you a grown up.

The phenomenon where you can really clearly tell that a blogger has put on their “SRS WRITER TONES” to write a post? I can’t even read those. If you need to put on a special, serious tone (which is likely a mimicked amalgamation of how you think “real” writers write) to do your “real” writing or write your “serious” posts, you’re probably still falling pretty hard on the “blogger” side of the scale. NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.  If you can’t write on your blog, day after day, in your own style and tone, but instead need to put on your big kid writer pants to signal to everyone that you’re now “SERIOUS WRITERING” not “frivolous bloggering,” I do not take you seriously as a serious writer.

I had a conversation some weeks about about this very subject with one Aunt Becky, when we were discussing community websites with reader-submitted essays and such.

Warning: Gtalk tends to make me quite heated. You should also know that I totally don’t speak FOR Aunt Becky, just AT her.

TJ: I’m like, super super super super SUPER anal about that kind of thing
like, SUPER anal
Aunt Becky: how so?
TJ: well
for one thing
a lot of times
those sites turn into the thing where you can tell people who have blogs have put on their “serious writer pants” and written something in their “serious writer tone” and since it’s in a “serious writer tone” it’s automatically supposed to be good
and a lot of times, the editor or whoever runs the thing, just fills it with the writings of their inner circle who are just people with their “serious writer pants” on
and then like, the comments are all people saying stuff like “this is beautiful” and “you’re so strong”
except a lot of times?
it’s poo
Aunt Becky: no not like that shit.
TJ: except it’s written in “serious writer tone”
Aunt Becky: hahaha
RIGHT.
TJ: so people think it’s good
Aunt Becky: no, I know.
TJ: because “serious writer tone” fools morons
that’s how I’m anal
Aunt Becky: right, no
i know
ok
got it
TJ: I mean, like, people who think you have to have a whole different way of writing when you’re being a “writer”
like the writing I do every damn day on my blog isn’t real “writing”
because it’s not in a serious writing “tone”
that shit has tone, bitch
a calculated, well crafted, hilarious fucking tone
some days are more well crafted and hilarious than others
but it COUNTS
just because it’s not all “and as I gaze upon the moonlit curve of my miracle child’s cheek, watching his chest rise and fall with each inhalation of life-giving oxygen, I smile – content. He is fine. Mine. We are fine. Together.”
DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT A WRITER.
Trite crap.
Damn.
I wrote that, by the way.
Copyright me.
Just now.
through infinity.

You know how 46 different people will retweet the same post on Twitter as an example of excellent writing, and then you go to see it, and it’s not particularly excellent writing, it’s just a serious or difficult topic? Just because it’s serious or written seriously does not mean it is automatically an example of “good” writing or, worse, “real” writing. It’s like how comedies rarely win best picture. If you’re not SERIOUS, you’re not a candidate for BEST. Please, check out The Bloggess and tell me that she shouldn’t be a candidate for “best” because she doesn’t have her “big kid REAL Writery McWriter pants” on.

Come on, if you want to be a writer, be a writer. Everywhere. Your blog counts. If you’re a writer, the writing you do on your blog is writing. If you write on your blog every day and I’m into it and I enjoy it and I really get what you’re doing and then one day I show up and you’ve had a noticeable tone shift and you’re all Serious T. Seriousin I’m sad, because I realize that you’re not giving yourself enough writer credit, and that you think you need to change or be or act or write differently when you’re being a “writer” than you do when you’re communicating thoughts and ideas through text every other day.

Anyway. This post kind of took a turn that I wasn’t expecting it to, so today is CHOOSE YOUR OWN COMMENTING ADVENTURE FRIDAY.

If you choose to comment on an unpopular opinon that you hold, turn to page 163 and go right ahead. You are safe because this blog is totally base.
If you choose to comment on what an asshole I am for my blogger vs. writer opinions, turn to page 165 and know that while I will totally nod and smile along with your “everyone who WANTS to be a writer IS a writer” let’s-all-hold-hands kum bah yah opinions, I totally don’t agree.

Posted in daily BS, the blogging thing | 30 Comments »

Sudden New Tradition

Hey, Internet, I’m instituting a new series of posts called “Link to Someone Else Thursdays,” because I found a new blog I like, I’m working on a plot so I’m really busy right now, and it’s Thursday. This series may or may not continue to other Thursdays. It depends on how busy I am next Thursday.

Hopefully, by next Thursday, I can tell you of the secret plot I am working on, though.

So, Internet, I give you the inaugural edition of LINK TO SOMEONE ELSE THURSDAYS!

ANYWAY. You see how I have the BlogHer ads, and underneath the tall skinny ad, links to other blogs in the BlogHer network? Well, you should check those links out as often as they change, because you will find some awesome stuff.

For example, I recently found Slice of Lemon that way.

I would go on and on about how funny and intelligent and interesting and charming she is, but instead, I give you this small selection from her FAQ Page.

Who is “The Boss” and where did you meet him?

The Boss is my beautiful and charming husband. We met when we were 9 years old and our childhood friendship eventually evolved into a wedding proposal.
We married on July 12, 2008.

I noticed you’re wearing a scarf on your head in your picture in the About This Site section of your Web site. Does that mean you’re a Muslim?

Yup.

Does your husband make you call him “The Boss” because you’re an oppressed Muslim woman who has absolutely no rights?

Yup.

Why in the world would you make a joke like that about Muslim women? It wasn’t funny and I’m offended.

My husband made me do it.

I almost peed, y’all. I almost peed.

Anyway, I’ve got to go inform some people of some developments in my plot, and I almost promised a top secret, deeply coded email to another blogger (that you should also be reading, by the way).

If you are desperate for something that I’ve written (but seriously, I’ve brought two whole other entire bloggers to your attention today, so I really think you’re being kind of uppity and demanding), you can check out this post I wrote on SodaHead about Kim Kardashian and $25 lollipops because WHAT THE HELL?

I can’t wait to tell y’all about my plot!

Posted in Bloggers who aren't me, the blogging thing | 3 Comments »

Dealing with delurker demands.

Thank you to the 4 skrillion people who delurked yesterday! As of the time I went to bed, I had answered every single survey. Of course, I woke up to a couple skrillion more, so I’m a bit behind still.

There were a lot of great questions and comments, especially with regards to stuff I may have not told you or left out, so I’ve decided to totally phone it in today and just answer those.

You can go ahead and bitch about it all you want, but I made commenting easy on you yesterday, so you’re just going to have to deal. Fair is fair, Internet. Don’t be such a bunch of meanies.

So, here are your responses to the delurker survey question #4 (“4. Is there anything I haven’t covered or answered but I should have, but you couldn’t tell me that because you were busy lurking?”) and my responses to your responses.

You have yet to extoll the virtues of pink carpeting. Or at least explain why this horrible color is in so many homes and businesses. You know which pink I’m talking about.

Apparently? In Arizona? They don’t really care for carpeting. I’m talking about the kind on the floor. And only the kind on the floor.

How goes the dog training? Especially the “stop eating razors, you moron” aspect of it?

I am happy to report that Brinkley has not eaten another razor since his first razor incident. However, I can’t tell you if this is because he actually wised up, or because we’re much more razor-conscious. As far as training in general… you know, he’s so cute. He’s just so handsome. He doesn’t poop in the house, what more can I really ask for?

Did you ever find a job that got you out of the house? You mentioned that one time I think.

No, and it’s kind of annoying. I have enough work to keep me busy in the house, but I don’t really know anyone here and I don’t go out of the house too much, so a part time job of some sort would be nice. However, I think that for the type of jobs I feel like doing outside of the house, my resume is kind of screwing me over.

I was looking forward to hearing about your Buffalo Something experience.

Oh man. That place made me so sad for people. I totally intend on talking about it. As soon as I gather my thoughts. Because I HAVE A LOT TO SAY, and it also ties in to Bon Jovi and parenting and other things. So I need to compose myself.

Veggie Burgers, sold in your frozen foods department, has an original flavor AND a hamburger flavor. I mean WTF does the original flavor taste like?

I have no opinion. I don’t eat foods masquerading as other food. Even when Phil and I were only eating vegetarian, we didn’t do, nor will we ever do, any kind of imitation meat. Guh. Rose.

Legalization of marijuana in AZ for recreational use, for or against?

Against!

How are those eyeglasses you ordered online working out? Like them? Pics?

I like them! I hardly ever take pictures with my glasses on, so I don’t have any. They took FOREVER to get here, but the prescription is dead on. I wear the thick framed ones a lot more often than the wire frames, because it’s what I’m used to, but both pairs are fantastic. The paint chipped off one pair a bit, which is annoying, but they were $8, so what’re you gonna do, you know?

Do you ever worry about Phil being called to active duty somewhere overseas? I don’t know if that’s even possible for what he does..

Yes, it’s possible and yes, I do.

Yes, did you decide on a Wedding Dress? If said so I missed it.

I have not. I haven’t even been shopping yet. I think I’m going out to PA in a couple of weeks to get that under control. I’m not really looking forward to that whole thing.

The redhead. Where has she been since TJ fled the right coast?

Well, when I was on the east coast, she left and went to the west coast, and now I’ve come out west, and she went back east. So, you know, that’s what she’s been up to. I think if you go into a bathroom and turn off the lights and say her name three times, she shows up, but I’ve been too scared to try it.

What things do you like about moving across the country? You’ve posted a lot about what you don’t like or that bug you. What do you LIKE about your life changes?

Well, it’s in the 70s in January. Who can complain about that? I don’t hate my life over here. But talking about what I do like is not nearly as entertaining to readers as complaining about what I don’t. You take glee in my misery. You only have yourselves to blame.

I just moved to PA from a much warmer place, while you have done the opposite. How could you stand all this…cold…stuff?

I didn’t KNOW any better. Now I do. I am not looking forward to going to PA in February.

Um, I don’t think I ever heard the story behind the demonic ponytail you used to describe in your “about me” section or something. Mostly, just why was it demonic? I’m sure there’s a post in the past that may have already explained this.

When the first Night Elf Mohawk commercials came out, I asked my GM to make me such a rank. He said no, and came up with “Demonic Ponytail” instead, since I was not a Night Elf and did not have a mohawk. I was a warlock, with a ponytail. So. That.

Is Brinkley your first dog? Or was there any childhood puppy traumas?

Brinkley is my first dog, I’ve never had a puppy. To be totally fair, I suppose he is Phil’s dog and not really mine at all but when Brinkley gets up in the bed at night, he sleeps with his paws in MY ear. So I think that says something about who he loves best.

Please revisit the PB&J issue: is it proper to use the heel of the bread? Should it be used first? Or does the fact that it’s not sliced on both sides make it inedible?

I can’t tell you how to make your PB&J. I can only tell you that Phil does it wrong.

I would like to know more about your dishes, please.

I am hoping to acquire some new dishes this weekend. I mean, it’s coming up on spring. I can’t be eating off of penguins indefinitely. It’s inappropriate.

Maybe you’ve already answered this.. but you did at one point play World of Warcraft, do you still play?

I do! Sort of. I just got my 3rd 70. So, I’m on a hiatus, and then I will go back and probably roll something new, level it to 70, repeat.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the idea that if everyone owned a lava lamp, there might be world peace.

You know who has lava lamps? Hippies. You know what I don’t like? Hippies.

Ummm, I think I know too much as it is.

Hush, Phil.

Since I’m getting married in October too, I wish you would talk MORE about your wedding and the planning process. But from the snarky side of things.

Heh. Well. I would totally talk about the snarky side of wedding planning if I’d at all bothered to start planning our wedding. I will totally get on that. Soon. Probably.

More pictures of Brinkley

Ok!

Where you hide all the extra shirts you were busy designing and mentioned but, never made the light of day.

I have no idea what you mean by this, but I hide a lot of Phil’s shirts in my closet. I’ve instituted a new house rule just now that I haven’t told him about and it goes like this: If it stays in my closet for 48 hours and you haven’t noticed it missing, it’s mine and you have to ask if you can borrow it when you want to wear it.

Probably something that was answered, but has been lost in very old posts. The ones where they cut off half way through.

Argh! I know there are still cut off posts floating around out there. If you happen to see one, please email me. I have the backups and I can restore anything that’s missing. I just haven’t found the time to go through everything.

Umm… when are you going to do your next Blog TV??

When I break my habit of cutting my own bangs over the sink.

So, now you’ve all delurked, and I’ve caught up on all of your questions. I think we should all feel really good about what we’ve accomplished here today, Internet. High fives and juice boxes all around, and let’s all agree not to do this again until next year.

Posted in the blogging thing | 8 Comments »

I demand you exit the bushes.

Oh man, Internet, guess what day it is!

Never mind, you guys have always sucked at guessing. I mean, you’re all great and your comments keep me entertained all day and the discussions on this site can go back and forth between hilariously stupid and hilariously intelligent in the space of three comments, and you’ve all got great hair, but come on, not everyone is good at everything, and you guys suck pretty hard at guessing.

So I’ll just tell you!

That’s right, Delurker Day, the day where you are completely and totally obligated to come out of hiding and say words to me. I mean, let’s be fair, you guys, I try to say words of some sort to you at least five times a week. Have any of you given me a medal of any sort? No. Not even, like, one you made up in MS Paint. I’m not mad at you or anything, I’m just saying that maybe if I had a medal or some other decoration indicating my spectacular accomplishments (what you feel that those may be – I’m not going to tell you, that would really defeat the purpose of you spontaneously giving me a medal, wouldn’t it?), I’d be a little more likely to let you slide on Delurker Day.

Take a look around this site, Internet. I’m not hiding my medals from you. There just aren’t any.

Anyway, it’s Delurker Day. It’s the day where all you people who I can see in my webstats but not in the comments section get to announce your presence. Since a main complaint of non-commenters is that they can’t think of anything to say or everything they want to say has already been said, I’m going to help you out. If you are facing either of those two problems, you can just fill out the short survey I’ve provided. Could I make Delurking any easier for you guys? I don’t think so. That’s the kind of stuff you should think about when you’re handing out medals, by the way.

The TJ Delurker Survey, 2010:

1. What’s your name, and how long have you been reading this site?
2. Do you have a blog and/or a Twitter name and/or something else we should all read today?
3. What is your favorite song right now? I am going to go listen to it and tell you what I think. No pressure.
4. Is there anything I haven’t covered or answered but I should have, but you couldn’t tell me that because you were busy lurking?
5. Are you a lurker everywhere, or is it just my blog? I’m going to guess everywhere, because it’s not like you’re intimidated by all my medals or anything.
6. Tell me something really weird or unusual about you. That will take care of the whole “every time I want to say something, someone already said it” thing.
7. What Internet phenomenon cracks you up every damn time? Here is a helpful list if you can’t think of one on your own.

There you have it. If you’ve been lurking around this blog for a while, or even just a day, it’s time to come out. If you can’t think of anything to say, I have created a survey for you to fill out. If you’re not a lurker and want to fill out the survey, I encourage you to do so, but I warn you, if you suggest a song to me and it sucks, I probably won’t hesitate to tell you that it totally sucks, whereas if you’re a lurker, I will likely be kind of nicer to you about your terrible taste in music because I want you to feel all comfortable and totally okay with commenting all the time without fear that I’m going to tell you that you suck.

PS – Oh, and that thing about being really bad at guessing, that was for the people who comment all the time, because they are pretty bad at it. If you’re a lurker and just going to come out for the first or second time or whatever today, I rally don’t know about your guessing skills. You might be really good at it. Guess something about me for extra credit and we’ll see.

Posted in the blogging thing | 226 Comments »

I pretty much just stared at this all day.

1/11/10 – The day I had nothing to say

Posted in daily BS, the blogging thing | 5 Comments »