You can’t get mad at me, because this blog is base.
January 22nd, 2010 | by TJ |Edited to add: Things that are awesome – when a totally popular and awesome blogger up for a Lifetime Achievement award even though she is only 5 years older than me and I haven’t even “achieved” making pasta without the water boiling all over the place and then waving a wooden spoon frantically going “UH! UH!” until my fiance somehow handles it yet and who you should also totally vote for links to you five seconds after you write a really bitchy post and you can’t take it down because people already commented and also, you totally mean it even if it is kind of bitchy but it maybe isn’t the best introduction ever to your blog. Can I recommend this awkwardly photographed oatmeal instructional instead? Or? OR? How about a terrifying duck, if you’re into, you know, terror? Basically, go read any other post and then come back here when I’ve kinda grown on you a little and you’re prepared to forgive me for being such a total wench.
*****
There’s a wedding message board I read quite a lot, and, like any other message board, it tends to fall victim, at times, to a lot of group-think and toeing the party line and such. No big deal, everyone’s been guilty of it at some point, on message boards or blogs, where you either agree just for the sake of keeping the peace, or don’t say what’s really on your mind because that’s not the general “tone” of the rest of the comments and you don’t want to stick out.
Recently, however, someone there started a thread I really liked, called “Unpopular Opinions,” where the point was to come out and voice an opinion that you know doesn’t tend to go over well on the board. Since it’s a wedding message board, there was some talk about general wedding stuff, but it ended up branching off into a lot of other stuff as well, and it was pretty interesting. One, to find out what kinds of things people thought were actually unpopular opinions and two, to find out how many people thought the same things as you when you felt kind of alone in your thoughts on a certain matter.
For example – one this particular message board, “you only get one day!” is a pretty popular mantra. About once every week or two, a new poster comes along saying something along the lines of, “is it ok that I’m upset about the fact that my sister is planning her wedding for a month before mine even though I already set my date a long time ago?” Generally, the response is pretty standard: No, you can’t be upset about that, you only get one day, get over yourself, etc. There’s a general refusal to even acknowledge that it’s KIND OF MEAN.
My unpopular opinion, however, is that if my sister attempted to set a wedding date a month before my already established date (of October 23, 2010 IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW), not only would I be upset, hurt, peeved, etc – I would also call her on the phone and say “OH HELL NO YOU’RE NOT.” Yes. I would. But my sister wouldn’t do that, because IT’S MEAN.
Or like yesterday, when I casually mentioned that I think Sheriff Joe is kind of the man and someone (rhymes with… nothing. Wynthea!) totally disagreed. I’m not actually sure how unpopular like Sheriff Joe is, but I’m pretty sure you’re either Pro-Joe or Anti-Joe with very little in between. For me? The dude makes jail way more jail-like and if you drive around signs warning you that you shouldn’t drive around them and then need to be rescued, he makes you PAY FOR YOUR OWN IDIOCY. Come on. Among other things, of course, things that have gotten him much more media attention. Things, to be honest, I really have a pretty hard time finding fault with. Sheriff Joe is kind of a badass and I am pretty pro-Joe.
Or how about blogging? I don’t think that bloggers and writers are necessarily the same thing, and I think what keeps them from being considered the same thing (by me) is how some bloggers seem to have some kind of self-blogging-hatred, in that when they want to be considered a writer, they step away from their established “blogging voice” and into some voice that doesn’t quite fit. Like putting on mommy’s high heels because you think that’s what makes you a grown up.
The phenomenon where you can really clearly tell that a blogger has put on their “SRS WRITER TONES” to write a post? I can’t even read those. If you need to put on a special, serious tone (which is likely a mimicked amalgamation of how you think “real” writers write) to do your “real” writing or write your “serious” posts, you’re probably still falling pretty hard on the “blogger” side of the scale. NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. If you can’t write on your blog, day after day, in your own style and tone, but instead need to put on your big kid writer pants to signal to everyone that you’re now “SERIOUS WRITERING” not “frivolous bloggering,” I do not take you seriously as a serious writer.
I had a conversation some weeks about about this very subject with one Aunt Becky, when we were discussing community websites with reader-submitted essays and such.
Warning: Gtalk tends to make me quite heated. You should also know that I totally don’t speak FOR Aunt Becky, just AT her.
TJ: I’m like, super super super super SUPER anal about that kind of thing
like, SUPER anal
Aunt Becky: how so?
TJ: well
for one thing
a lot of times
those sites turn into the thing where you can tell people who have blogs have put on their “serious writer pants” and written something in their “serious writer tone” and since it’s in a “serious writer tone” it’s automatically supposed to be good
and a lot of times, the editor or whoever runs the thing, just fills it with the writings of their inner circle who are just people with their “serious writer pants” on
and then like, the comments are all people saying stuff like “this is beautiful” and “you’re so strong”
except a lot of times?
it’s poo
Aunt Becky: no not like that shit.
TJ: except it’s written in “serious writer tone”
Aunt Becky: hahaha
RIGHT.
TJ: so people think it’s good
Aunt Becky: no, I know.
TJ: because “serious writer tone” fools morons
that’s how I’m anal
Aunt Becky: right, no
i know
ok
got it
TJ: I mean, like, people who think you have to have a whole different way of writing when you’re being a “writer”
like the writing I do every damn day on my blog isn’t real “writing”
because it’s not in a serious writing “tone”
that shit has tone, bitch
a calculated, well crafted, hilarious fucking tone
some days are more well crafted and hilarious than others
but it COUNTS
just because it’s not all “and as I gaze upon the moonlit curve of my miracle child’s cheek, watching his chest rise and fall with each inhalation of life-giving oxygen, I smile – content. He is fine. Mine. We are fine. Together.”
DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT A WRITER.
Trite crap.
Damn.
I wrote that, by the way.
Copyright me.
Just now.
through infinity.
You know how 46 different people will retweet the same post on Twitter as an example of excellent writing, and then you go to see it, and it’s not particularly excellent writing, it’s just a serious or difficult topic? Just because it’s serious or written seriously does not mean it is automatically an example of “good” writing or, worse, “real” writing. It’s like how comedies rarely win best picture. If you’re not SERIOUS, you’re not a candidate for BEST. Please, check out The Bloggess and tell me that she shouldn’t be a candidate for “best” because she doesn’t have her “big kid REAL Writery McWriter pants” on.
Come on, if you want to be a writer, be a writer. Everywhere. Your blog counts. If you’re a writer, the writing you do on your blog is writing. If you write on your blog every day and I’m into it and I enjoy it and I really get what you’re doing and then one day I show up and you’ve had a noticeable tone shift and you’re all Serious T. Seriousin I’m sad, because I realize that you’re not giving yourself enough writer credit, and that you think you need to change or be or act or write differently when you’re being a “writer” than you do when you’re communicating thoughts and ideas through text every other day.
Anyway. This post kind of took a turn that I wasn’t expecting it to, so today is CHOOSE YOUR OWN COMMENTING ADVENTURE FRIDAY.
If you choose to comment on an unpopular opinon that you hold, turn to page 163 and go right ahead. You are safe because this blog is totally base.
If you choose to comment on what an asshole I am for my blogger vs. writer opinions, turn to page 165 and know that while I will totally nod and smile along with your “everyone who WANTS to be a writer IS a writer” let’s-all-hold-hands kum bah yah opinions, I totally don’t agree.
By Tchann on Jan 22, 2010
Amen!
…and cue the self-important paranoia that this whole post was brought on by the launch of my writing archive this week. ;_;
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Noooo, definitely not at all!
I don’t want to get into ridiculously long backtracking and explanations and such, but writers who are writers are indeed writers, and bloggers can also be writers, and calling yourself a writer no matter what kind of writing you do or skill level you have or it just being a hobby or whatever – anything – I’m FINE with it.
It’s the “if I tackle a serious subject in what I think is a “writerly tone,” it’s automatically good quality writing” that gets to me. Like people have low self-esteem about their every day blog writing. That’s writing, too! Don’t save the “real” writing for your “serious” crap. JUST WRITE. YOU KNOW?
[Reply]
By PrincessJenn on Jan 22, 2010
Oh yes. I think there’s a huge difference between blogging and writing. And just cause I choose to spew forth my inane musing does not make me a good writer.
I love people who assume, because they’ve started a blog, that a book deal can’t possibly be far behind. Ummm…well… yeah… No!
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:27 pm
I can’t stand when someone DOES get a book deal, and then suddenly acts like they’re above BLOGGING – only SERIOUS writing from then on.
And yes I AM thinking of a certain blog right now and no I am NOT going to name names but – SO LAME.
[Reply]
PrincessJenn Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:35 pm
And I don’t get why (or when) a book deal became the definition of legitimacy or ‘hitting the big time’. I mean, give me a TV show any day ;-)
[Reply]
By Chibi Jeebs on Jan 22, 2010
I’m not a writer, I’d never claim to be, and I shudder to even contemplate categorizing myself with people who ARE good writers. Hell, I have a hard time even calling myself a blogger: I’m basically “talking” to myself in a medium that allows people to humour me by replying. I write the way I’d tell you a story. Guess that makes me story teller?
As for the online writing groups, I had joined one, but I’ve been tossing around quietly backing out simply because, other than the writing prompts, I don’t really see the point: the “critiquing” basically involves pointing out syntax errors – there’s nothing so far that has been offered that would help *improve* my writing. Besides, I’m a stubborn asshole, and even if Mr. Writer McWriterpants himself said “Dude, you gotta knock off the colloquialism and start using your words,” I’d tell him to piss off.
So, uh, I agree with you? I think? I dunno… What’s the popular opinion? ;)
[Reply]
Awlbiste Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:30 pm
CHIBI YOU’RE A WRITER AND A BLOGGER OMGAW!! Think you’re more awesome because you are! Exclamation!
[Reply]
Chibi Jeebs Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:32 pm
BUT! Do you like the way I write?!?!!1?1one?! *snort*
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Ha.
I stay out of the online writer groups because I, for the most part, don’t really consider myself a writer, but more someone who writes things. The online writing groups tend to encourage people to step away from their perfectly good, personality-rich, distinctive and developed casual/funny/interesting tones and into stilted, generic, overwrought “writer” tones. And then, a bunch of other people say either “that’s really good!” or “you have a comma in the wrong place.” No one in those groups tends to be really equipped to do more than praise and/or proofread.
I think the point I’m trying to make is that writing is writing is writing. If you find yourself putting on a whole different tone or style when you sit down to “write” vs. when you sit down to “tell a story,” as you do, you’re not so much writing as you are mimicking what you think writing IS.
[Reply]
Chibi Jeebs Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:37 pm
“And then, a bunch of other people say either ‘that’s really good!’ or ‘you have a comma in the wrong place.’”
YES. This is ALL I’ve seen! Really, how is that going to help me “grow”?
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:40 pm
My biggest issue is that so many bloggers are naturally VERY TALENTED WRITERS. And then they go and do one of these “serious writer” posts and I’m disappointed. Why do they think they need to change their entire tone AND style (and it’s very obvious when it’s a serious subject being tackled in their own style vs. putting on the srs writer pants) to do “real” writing? Have some faith in your (general “your”) talent and develop your OWN voice and style and such.
Commenters tend to feed into it because, like I said above, the automatic reaction to “serious” posts written in srs writer pants tone is to praise, like a knee jerk reaction. You see srs writer pants tone, you praise someone for being a good writer.
yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn.
[Reply]
By Awlbiste on Jan 22, 2010
People who use Writery McWriteyson voices are both douchey and boring. And I can totally point some fingers. And I’ve pointed them in private conversation.
Fuck you WriteyMan, you are LAME. Your SRS WRITER FACE does not make you more SRS it makes you more BORING AND THE SAME.
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:32 pm
BORING AND THE SAME RIGHT ON.
[Reply]
By Gauntlet on Jan 22, 2010
So… if I agree with what you’re saying, it’s praise right? And then I’m… yeah, I’m not even going to finish that. It’s not funny enough. I am, however, going to hit post when this box is full enough.
TJ: I like your writings. You entertain me. Juicebox!
[Reply]
By Aunt Becky on Jan 22, 2010
My boob itches. And my feet smell.
By that you would never know that I am actually a WRITER. For one of the best hospitals in the motherfucking COUNTRY.
[Reply]
By TheWicked on Jan 22, 2010
Unpopular opinions.
1. In order to fund prisons we should have gladiatorial combat arenas for death row inmates with pay-per-view events and corporate sponsors.
2. Convicted rapists should be turned into eunuchs.
3. Humans are the only species on the face of the earth that does not abide by the rules of nature. We’re like the anti-survival-of-the-fittest.
[Reply]
By Lady Jess on Jan 22, 2010
I agree with you on the writer thing. I consider “good” to be reading something with mood and personality injected into it. And I try to do that with my blog. I don’t know if I always get it across, but I write emotionally. If I’m sad, or having trouble with the deployment, the tone matches. If I’m trying to pick myself up and keep moving, or happy, or hyper, or whatever. I tried on the serious writer pants a time or two but, dammit they are itchy and uncomfortable. I may not always succeed in the emotion coming across, but I definitely don’t want to try and be anything I’m not. And ya know who’s advice that was?
Oh that’s right…yours! Thank you for that:)
[Reply]
By rockle on Jan 22, 2010
Hi. I’m new here. Thank Amalah. Anyway. I think I love you. May I stalk you? That is all.
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 2:22 pm
I want to say yes, but I also want to retain my right to sue you if your stalking makes me uncomfortable, so I’m going to say “no” with my mouth but “yes” with my eyes and inappropriate touches.
[Reply]
By Delicia on Jan 22, 2010
Wow maybe it’s just me — I’m such a rebel, or that I just don’t really care (or perhaps secretly enjoy??) if I ruffle people’s feathers… if I feel like posting something that cuts across the grain, I’ll do it!
I’ve never really thought about if bloggers are “writers”.. I guess in my head when I think Writer, it’s someone that primarily writes for a living, for remuneration. Could a Writer have a blog? Sure! Would I want to read it if it was all formal and full of itself and fake? NO. I like reading about real people, real life and in people’s own quirky writing style.
[Reply]
By Pike on Jan 22, 2010
I don’t really think about how I go about my blogging/writing/whatevs. I still sort of consider myself to be an “accidental blogger”. Like, there I was, going along, minding my own business, and suddenly, BLAM! I’ve got this blog. And people read it and stuff.
To me the funniest thing ever are people who are TRYING TOO HARD. You know what I’m talking about, the people who have five or six posts and zero comments, but OMG FORUMS AND OMG ADS AND OMG IN YOUR FACE RSS AND OMG FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AND OMG DIGG THIS
Really, I understand that everyone had to start somewhere and I totally respect that, but I do think there is such a thing as Trying Too Hard.
Well, that was my bloggy-opinion for the day, dunno if it’s unpopular or not though, but hey!
[Reply]
By Swistle on Jan 22, 2010
I believe I know EXACTLY what you mean, and normally that kind of post is clear in the very first sentence, but the PROOF is always in the LAST sentence, which will be something like “Maybe I will. Maybe I will.” Or, “And some days, that is enough. It is enough.”
Rule of thumb: if you imagine the writer speaking the post instead of writing it, and if what you picture is them looking up where the wall meets the ceiling with the slightly-squinty/spacy look of someone discerning truths about the universe, then they are being Writey McWritersons, Esq.
[Reply]
TJ Reply:
January 22nd, 2010 at 6:59 pm
DUDE. Imagine me doing that thing where I point at my eyeballs with two fingers and then point at your eyeballs with the same two fingers because SO DEAD ON.
[Reply]
By Jen_Ann_W on Jan 22, 2010
I LIKE to write, but does that make me a WRITER? Eh. Semantics. But I get what you’re saying about voice. I like certain writers/bloggers because they have a distinctive voice, and when that suddenly does a 180, it’s disconcerting. Like you don’t know who is the REAL voice anymore.
But I do have to say that “this blog is base” made me laugh so hard the bed was shaking and thunking against the wall. Which made my husband yell up the stairs “are you masturbating without me?!” And I answered “no it’s just TJ making me laugh” which he totally understood.
[Reply]
By Risqtish on Jan 24, 2010
My opinion?
I have no idea if it’s unpopular?
I don’t see how things can be ‘well written’.
Sure I get that there’s spelling and punctuation, but I’m a horrible lazy Australian. Proper grammatical sentences? I have no clue.
I have heard complaints along the lines of “Oh it’s a nice idea but it is just so terribly written.” Maybe if I read some of these ‘seriouz buzness’ blogs you spoke of it would become apparent. But for the mean time, if I can keep focus on the content (which is what normally happens) then I don’t notice HOW it is written! =)
[Reply]
By pixielation on Jan 25, 2010
Some people are good at expressing themselves via the art of the written word. Whether it’s more formally written, or very colloquial. The main point is that a consistent style is important. People tend to like reading what you write not just because of the subject, but because of your writing style.
And a colloquial style doesn’t mean poorly written. Bad spelling, bad grammar and overly complex sentences aren’t fun to read.
And still, rules are there to be broken. If you know the rules, you can often break them.
[Reply]
By Capn John on Jan 26, 2010
I was a horrible writer in High School and College. I was a voracious reader, but a horrible writer, and I’ll freely admit that. I could not write an essay to save my life.
My sister, however, IS a writer, and she can dissect an essay like a surgeon. In college she took those classes where they spent an entire semester discussing the comma, or the period, or the semi-colon. Not all of them, I mean an entire semester-long class was devoted to the use of the comma, another semester-long class was spent discussing the period, and a third semester-long class discussed the semi-colon.
Now while I’m not a writer and would never claim to be, I still cranked out a 10,000-word fan fiction piece for my Blog, and I also won second place in an essay contest for our local Metro transit (which got me $250). My sister could not believe it when she heard this and after reading my essay stated that it was not well written but it WAS exactly what the Judges were looking for. She said this was a whole different talent, and that while I’m still not a good writer (and I don’t object to her saying that), she said I showed skill in being able to recognize and write FOR my intended audience.
I say if you’ve got a Blog, write however you want. Sure, try to improve yourself and become a better writer, but don’t try to mimic someone and think that it makes you a better writer. If your readers enjoy the way you write and you attract a small following, that’s great. But don’t think you need to suddenly start writing differently because people are now reading and commenting on what you’re writing. Improve yourself, sure, but do it for you, not because you think it’s expected of you.
[Reply]
By Phaedra on Jan 26, 2010
I can think of ONE example where blogging and writing are different: technical writing. Which totally sucks and I hate with a burning passion. I have told my supervisor I would rather spend an entire summer analyzing human feces again than have to write more reports (and yes, I did spend an entire summer analyzing poop – yay research!).
I would not want to read the blog of someone who wrote it in a technical style.
[Reply]
By Alex on Jan 26, 2010
Word.
I’ve totally stopped reading a blog that started doing that. I always hope I’ll go back and it’ll be different – like the next post will be “normal” – but it rarely is.
[Reply]
By Nej on Jan 27, 2010
If you drive a race car, an armored car, a semi-truck, or a limo….then you are a driver.
If you write a blog, a magazine article, an obituary, or a how-to manual that comes with a vacuum cleaner (that no one ever actually reads)…then you are a writer.
It’s whether or not you believe you’re a good writer, or what you think is a good writer, that is the issue.
[Reply]